| I don't like the idea of the stepmother pushing the pictures on people.
But the good side is that she wants to keep some contact with the
baby. Mindi isn't mature enough to appreciate this but perhaps in a
fews years she will suddenly realize her first baby is out there
somewhere and will strongly desire to know how it is doing. That path
has already been set up, and she may be thankful to her stepmother.
Birth mothers can go through some really hard depression when they
suddenly realize what they have gone through, and they have no idea
of how to make contact with the adoptive parents. They usually don't
want to see or have a relationship with the child, they just want to
know the child is okay. This may happen to Mindi eventually.
As for the adoptive parents, they probably made some agreement as to
what kind of contact they would allow. Again, the benefit of some
contact, even if it is just a letter once a year, is that when their
child is ready, that path is there.
Many adoptions are very open. I met a birth mother who keeps a picture
of her son, who she gave up for adoption at birth, on her desk at work!
She freely answers questions about him, and calls him "her son". She
doesn't see him, but gets reports on him 4 times a year through the
adoption agency. So Mindi's stepmother may feel this is all very natural
if the adoption was extremely open.
Cyn
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| Sandi, my sister-in-law, hated Mindi from the day she married my brother. She
brought two daughters into the marriage with her. She and my brother have a
wonderful relationship and Sandi's two daughters fit in fine. Mindi and her
step sisters also get along very well together but not Mindi and Sandi.
Mindi ran away several times to escape the abuse she sufferd at Sandi's hands
and tried living with her natural mother which also didn't work. Mindi's
mother has no means of supporting herself. Finally, at age 19, Mindi ran off
with a young man whom she married. A few months later she was pregnant and
a few months after that she was divorced. She came back to her home town to
have the baby.
This is where Sandi got into the act and decided to "take over" the baby. Mindi
doesn't have the character yet to stand up to some one so much older. The
best she can do is to run away. She doesn't seem to want any attention about
the baby and seems to wish to put the whole thing behind her. This is why
Sandi's showing the pictures around with the scar and so on right in front of
Mindi seemed so tasteless. Mindi refuses to even talk to her or to have
anything to do with her.
The one point where Mindi did stand up for herself was to refuse to let Sandi
adopt the baby herself.
By the way, it is difficult for Mindi to go to any of her relations for support.
Her grandmother (Mindi's mother's mother) who is very Catholic has disowned her
for placing the baby with someone else. My family is daunting to say the least
since everyone is so terribly self suffficient and, to be honest, rather self
centered. Sad story.
ccb
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