Conference moira::parenting

    Wendy,
    
    Instead of trashing the candy that your son brings home, why not bring
    it in to the office with you and let your co-workers share it?
    
    Lori B.

    
    
    	I don't let my son have much candy and I was also concerned about
    Halloween.  It was suggested by quite a few people to find a comunity
    party or even have one yourself and invite other kids in the same age
    group.  I am taking my son to the Heritage Park Youth Center this year. 
    They have a neat party for 3 age groups.  The oldest group even puts on
    a haunted house.  I used to participate in this when I was in High
    School.  I always remember it to be a great time.
    
    	The good thing about the party is it doesn't revolve around candy,
    they play games and generaly have a good time.  
    
    Just an idea.
    
    
    Virginia

    Virginia,
    
    Are you talking about Heritage Park in Irvine, CA?  Just wondering
    because I might do the party thing this year as well and live only 
    a couple miles from Heritage Irvine. 
    
    Jodi-

    re: Lori,
    
    That's a good idea.  I may do so this year.  Also this year, instead
    of handing out candies, I may hand out stickers/ballons/crayons/pencils.  
    It may not be as popular as candies but it is a lot more healthy.
    
    Wendy
    

I can't really offer advice on costumes.  My sewing skills leave alot to be
desired so I usually buy or rent them.

I also don't like the idea of the kids going out and collecting a bag full of
candy.  A piece here or there is fine, but a bag only invites arguments about
how much can be eaten.  My other concern is for safety.  Although poison cases
are isolated, I don't want to take the chance.  Sad to say, especially when
I remember this ritual with fond memories.

We have several parks and community centers that will be offering children's
Halloween parties again this year.  For the very young these are usually
during the day.  This is what I plan on doing this year for my daughter who
will be 2 1/2.  The events seem to be well organized and like someone else
said, they don't revolve around tons of candy.

Barbara

    Every year the boys and I go through their candy.  Anything I find
    unacceptable (unwrapped, hard candy, bad for the teeth, etc) gets
    swapped for cash.  I usually offer a dime per candy bar.  They're
    usually so intent on the cash, they whittle their candy stash down to a 
    manageable amount.  Then whatever candy *is* left over is strictly
    portioned out. ("You can pick two candy bars and then we'll put it
    away.")  By the time a week has gone by, they're sick of the candy, and
    I throw it away.  Or I leave it out for hubby to eat.  :-)

    Jodi,
    
    	Yes, I am talking Irvine, CA.  I live in Tustin now but used to
    live on Walnut just down from Main.  I haven't been able to get any
    info on the happenings for Halloween yet.   I am just going by what I
    remember from when I used to go there.  I understand the place has
    gotten much bigger since I have been there last.
    
    	So, where do you work/live?  I thought I was one of the very few
    people in this immediate area.  I work at CWO in Costa Mesa.
    
    Small world at times.
    
    Virginia

    re: .7  That should say "down from Yale. "  I work near Main.  This has
    been one h*ll of a week.
    

    Virginia,
    
    I live and work in Irvine.  Live in Woodbridge Irvine. Work at IVO.
    Also worked many years in CWO but that was 7 years ago. Been around 
    Digital on the left coast, 17 years...
    
    Jodi-
    

    Jodi,
    
    Do you know of the Halloween activities at Haritage park??  It has bee
    a few years since I have been there.  We do go and watch the fireworks
    on the 4th and go to the Harvest Festivals when they are there.
    
    
    Virginia

We've never had any problem about Halloween, or candy in general.
Evan still has his Easter basket with M&M's in it.  When he gets candy
he is allowed to keep it in his room and eat from it whenever he likes.
He usually eats it for a few minutes then more or less ignores it.
If we take it *away* from him, then he demands it more often (every time
he sees it or is reminded of it in some way).

I'm wondering if he is so blas� about it *because* we don't make a big
deal about it.

      Carol

One thing that my mother did when we were kids was to let us have some
candy - say a bowl's worth.  But, the rest was put away in her room.  Then,
each night we might be allowed to have one candy bar or whatever.  We
also were often-times given something for our lunch.  This made the candy
last a long time, and at the same time did not let us have a great deal
of candy.

We had a family of 6, so there was always alot of candy.  We ALL had to
pool our candy.  Of course, we got to pick some of our favorites out before
the candy was pooled.

I feel this was a very good way to handle things.

Ed..

    take the Candy into the office.

    
    
    	...you can drop it off at my office if you like....! :)
    
    

    RE: Virginia: Heritage Park in Irvine...
    
    No Virginia, I don't know anything about their Halloween program.
    I was hoping you'd know :^).
    Guess one of us should call.
    
    After thinking about it, I'm not convinced my kids would be satisfied 
    with only doing the party thing.  They are only allowed to do our 
    street (cul-de-sac), 18 houses and part of the next street. Probably 
    a total of 24 homes. I'm not even worried about the safety of the 
    candy, etc. I just thought the party idea sounded fun.  I'll run it
    by them this weekend and see what they think.
    
    Jodi-
      

I can't do this now that my kids are bigger (and we don't have Halloween anyway)
but when they were smaller at Christmas and Easter I used to let them eat as
much of their candy as they wanted, right after breakfast IN ONE GO.  They
could never stomach enough to make themselves sick and then the rest of it
"disappeared" (either we ate it if if was something like chocolate or it went
in the bin).  Then they brushed their teeth and that was that.

Ah, those were the days when I could actually *control* their sweet intake!

ccb

    Re:Heritage park.
    
    I will try to call or go by there this weekend and find out whats up.
    
    Virginia

    I'm having a Haloween party for my 4 year old and his cousins.  Do 
    folks have some ideas for games to play?  I can remember bobbing for
    apples, but that's it.
    
    Any suggestion would be great.  
    
    Thanks,
    Chris

   Well, since you didn't way whether you were actually going to try
   bobbing for apples or just that you remembered it, I won't try to
   guess whether you are or are not in favor of 'messy' games... :-)
   
   Here's some games you might want to consider..
   
   o Donut Eating contest - tie donuts to strings, and hang them do the
     kids can reach them with their mouths.  They must eat the donut off
     of the string without touching it with their hands.  Messy, but fun
     to watch..
   
   o Pin the tail on "xxx" - pick your favorite halloween character or
     symbol and go with that - for 4 year olds, you could even get fancy
     and use a felt character and velcro on the 'tail' if you wanted
   
   o Fishing pool - I saw this at a country church fair recently - fill a
     small plastic pool about 1/2 way with course saw-dust/wood shavings.
     Then drop a number of small party favors into the pool and stir
     well.  The kids get to jump into the pool and "slosh" around in the
     stuff looking for trinkets - again, a little messy, but fun..
   
   o There's always coloring of some sort - get some coloring books or
     copy some sheets with halloween symbols, and pass out crayons..
   
   o How about pumpkin decorating - get a stack of small pumpkins and
     hand out markers, or crayons, or those new kid-safe pumpkin cutters
     I've seen in the stores lately..
   
   o Maybe face painting too... all sorts of make-up is available in the
     stores about now..
   
   Have fun,
   
   - Tom
   

    Tie powdered doughnuts on a string which hangs from the ceiling. 
    Blind-fold the child and have them try to take a bite out of the
    doughnut.  What usually happens is that they miss and the doughnut
    starts to swing back and forth, and as the child tries to bite it,
    inevitably gets the powder all over his/her face.  Of course, once the
    child succeeds in biting the doughnut, they get to finish the whole
    thing.
    
    Another one, pretty appropriate for Halloween is as follows:
    
    have a number of different paper bags filled with different items. 
    Each item should have a different feel to it, such as soft, furry, wet,
    hard, slimy, etc.  For example, put some spaghetti (cooked!) in one
    bag - this usually grosses kids out because they think the bag is
    filled with worms or something.  Another one might be leaves from
    outside, cotton balls, etc.  You can use your imagination, or your own
    sense of touch (closing your eyes) to determine which objects would
    make interesting ones for the game.  You might have five bags and the
    child has to guess correctly what is in each bag.  Of course every
    child gets a prize.  
    
    Hope that helps a little!  Have fun!
    
    Lynn
    

    
    The Penny Whistle crowd has a book on just Halloween parties. If you
    haven't checked out their books (one on the Christmas holidays, one on
    Halloween and two on kids birthday parties) it is well worth the
    investment. I've used many of their ideas for bigger (read adult) kids.
    
    			Wendy

    Try making a 'pirates chest' out of a chest.  Put in those chocolate
    gold foil covered 'coins' into individual bags into the chest.  Close
    the chest with a piece of colored yarn to each bag in the chest.
    Run the yarn all over the place away from the chest.  Give each kid
    and end of one piece of yarn which is tied to his individual coin
    bag in the chest.  The kid then follows the yarn to the chest and coin
    bag.  First one in get a bonus over just one coin bag.
    
    Jeff

    Avanti wants to dress up as BARNEY! Where in Southern New Hampshire or
    northern MASS can I find a Barney costume.
    
    I have not shopped for a Halloween costume until this year when Avanti
    is serious about it. What the good places to for costumes if I cannot
    find Barney. I would have loved to make her one but time is too short
    (my spare time that is).
    
    Shaila

    Here is one for ya.
    
    My son is 4(in Dec.) and his school is having a party on Friday and
    then a carnival that night.  I was planing on taking him T or T'ing
    Saturday night.  My question is for all you experienced parents.....       
    
    
    Is this a little much for a 4 year old for the first Halloween?  I just
    don't want to overload him with too much `fun' so to speak.  Also, I
    realy don't let him have candy.  That is going to be the realy battle.
    
    
    Thanks,\
    
    
    Virginia

    Nah, go for it.  My younger daughter will also be four in December and
    she doesn't like to miss out on anything.  I would just make an extra
    attempt to get in a quiet time after school on Friday and make 
    Saturday (during the day) and Sunday low-key days.
    
    -Tracy
    

    I was at Pheasant Lane yesterday and saw a Barney costume.  Let me try
    to remember which store...I think it waas Kay-Bee.  I was at KB and
    Sears and Disney.  Out of those three KB sounds most likely.
    
    Good luck
    -sandy
    

    Tracy,
    
    They school will be having a party during the day and then the carnival
    starts at 7pm.  I just think that he may be a bit too excited to handle
    all the *fun* stuff, not to mention myself.  I guess playing it by ear
    will be the way to go.  I just hope he will wear his costume.
    
    thanks,
    
    Virginia

    I did find the BARNEY suit - actually it is just a 1 piece
    night-suite-type thingie with barney painted on the front of the top
    half. It also comes witha mask. This is good enough for Avanti who does
    not like wearing elaborate costumes. I got it at KAYBEE toys (thanks
    to the note a few back that mentione KAYBEE toys) and they have many of
    them.  They also have another costume complete with the dynasaur type
    tail and maine (sp? - the spelling part of my brain just fell asleep
    :-(),. But Avanti wanted barney so Barney it was.
    
    The Disney store in the pheasant lane mall in Nashua had the Beast
    (from Beauty and the Beast) costume, Dalmation, etc but the most
    inexpensive one was $40.00 !!!! 
    
    Avanti's preschool has a party on Friday and I hope she will wear her
    suit.
    Shaila

    This note has made me realize that when Charlotte gets old enough to
    enjoy children's television, we're going to have some difficulty
    explaining to her about why she's a "Barney" too!! 8-)
    
    Monica Barney
    

    Now that Halloween has past.................
    
    My son went at a Cowboy.  He realy didn't understand the concept of
    asking for candy.  He would knock on the door and then run back to me. 
    After a few times he realized he needed to stand there and wait.  He
    would say "TricknorTreat" real low and then hold up his bucket.  He you
    say "Thank you!" real loud and run back to me laughing.  After we did
    the entire complex (90 units/not all participated) we came home and
    this is where I thought the problem would start.
    He picked out a couple pieces of candy and asked me to `save' the rest
    for him.  I put on Beauty and The Beast and we watched it.  When It was
    over he asked to go to bed!  It was only 8pm.  I said sure and he went
    off to bed.
    
    Virginia

    
    Here is as good a place as any:
    
    	Just wanted to share a cute Halloween idea that Spencer brought
    home from Daycare. They had a Halloween psrty and someone sent in party
    favors which were:
    
    	Plastic disposable gloves stuffed with cheese popcorn (using a
    piece of candy corn for each "fingernail" tied with black ribbon and
    sporting a trendy spider ring.
    
    	Spencer loved it and I thought, gee, what a great idea for someone
    who does not have a heck of a lot of time,....
    
    	We sent in white choclate ghost lollypops that I made the night
    before. Also very easy and from what I understand, another hit with the
    kids.
    
    	Wendy who is always looking for neat quick and easy party ideas.

    I went to a party at my sister's on Sunday.  She had taken plastic
    surgical gloves and washed them out real well to remove the powder. 
    She then filled them with water and tied the ends and then froze them. 
    She put them in the punch.  It looked like severed hands in the punch.
    
    Lori B.

>    She had taken plastic
>    surgical gloves and washed them out real well to remove the powder. 

Certainly a good idea to wash any powder out, especially if you are going to 
use them for the idea as in .31.  I think that they are probably available 
unpowdered.  Also, painters gloves, available at most paint or hardware 
stores, may be cheaper.

Clay

    Seems like all these people read the same magazine my sister
    did.....she had the popcorn_hand and other decorations and non-candy
    treats at her halloween party.
    
    Jt

    
    We had a 'jello party' once and I did the same thing, except with
    jello.  I mixed orange jello with water, then added (cheap) whip cream
    to get a fleshy effect.
    
    For the jello party, I arranged the hands like the Escher picture
    with the hands drawing each other.  I won a prize for originality, but I
    will warn anyone who tries this, i did *not* win any prizes for taste.
    

    Need Halloween explanation for my 6 yr old. He asked about the origin
    last night. I mumbled something about Hallowed Eve, night before
    church holiday, etc. but I wasn't making much sense.
    
    Can someone give me an answer for a 6 yr old ?
    
    Thanks.

    
    Let's see if I get this right....Nov 1st is All Saint's Day, a holy day
    of obligation for Catholics. Hallowed Eve is the night before All
    Saint's Day when adults would dress up as their patron saint or
    favorite saint in their honor. Since it used to be that Catholics had
    to fast before going to church and receiving the Holy Euchurist (sp??)
    they would eat/party the night before the holy day. Somehow this got
    turned around into the Halloween as we know it today. If someone can
    explain how that happened I would also be interested.
    
    Patty

    The All Hallows-->All Saints-->All Souls progression is a bit deep for
    a 6-yr-old, I agree.
    
    Various explanations have attached to the Christian All Hallows E'en
    tradition over the years. Probably the most accessible to a 6-yr-old is
    that it was believed that spirits hung about on the eve of All Saints.
    Now these spirits weren't nasty or mean or anything, but spirits are
    frequently a bit mischevious, so folks took to leaving bit of treats
    out to distract them from getting into mischief. Pretty soon some of
    the folks took to disguising themselves as spirits to get in on the
    treats.
    
    But -- yes, and this may or may not be something you want to get into
    -- All Hallows is _really_ the eve of Samhaine which is much, much,
    much older.
    
      Annie

    From a pagan perspective, this is the last of the harvest festivals and
    first of the winter festivals.  This is the point in time where the
    lines between the spiritual worlds and the physical worlds thin.  In
    our family we referr to this holiday as Samhain, pronounced sowan.
    
    We celebrate it on a different day close to Samhain so as not to
    interfere with the secular partying of halloween.  One of our
    favorite stories at this time is that of Demeter, Persephone and Hades.   
    Living in the Southwest we add in a little towards the "day of the
    Dead" as well.  
    
    meg

	This looks like the right note to ask in...

	Any tips on preserving a Jack-o-lantern?  Seems we may have carved
ours too early (last Sunday, the 16th), but I didn't really think anything
of it at the time.  Now I'm wondering if it will make it to the 31st before 
mold sets in.

	I have this feeling that there must be some folk wisdom somewhere
about spraying something on the flesh to help it last.  Of course, sometimes
these ideas I have are outright WRONG!  How about it, has anyone seen anything
in a magazine?  We would want to be able to safely burn a candle inside.

	Thanks,

	Brian W.

    I DON'T KNOW ABOUT carved pumpkins, but when they are whole we wash
    them with diluted colorox to kill the bacteria and they rot more
    slowly.
    
    I was told this by my next door neighbor school teacher and it seems
    to work.

	In my pumpkin carving handbook it says to coat the inside
	with vaseline.  Also - if you are using candles in them, be
	sure to cut a small vent hole in the lid

	/robin

    need halloween party activities (any games, actually not just halloween
    oriented) to add to this list...these are 1st graders....
    
    bobbing for apples 
    eating donuts from string
    pin tail on pumpkin (?)
    pass the squishy stuff (the old spaghetti = brains, grapes = eyeballs
                           routine)
    pass the orange from neck to neck...probably lemons for those necks ?
    
    thanks,
    joanne

Need some parental input here. Having a Halloween party for my 7 yr old.
Did this last year on Saturday before Halloween, kids from school. ALOT
OF WORK! He wants another one this year. Kid is obsessed with Halloween.

He wants it on trick or treat night itself (we live in Acton)...this is
based on all the books he reads that have a party on THE night. Mike 
also wants to trick or treat with a group. So it means neighborhood 
kids instead of school friends and cousins. Which is fine.

So. Do I invite kids before they trick or treat or after ?  I am very
sensitive to the parental time constraints: pick the kid up after work
feed him, get him costumed, get out there (after sunset), get 'em back
in so they can get to bed at a decent hour filled with 95 pounds of sugar.

Sunset on 31 October: 4:40 PM, End of Civil Twilight: 5:09 PM. So its
dark pretty early. (Have to have those jack-o-lanterns lit).
------------------------------------------------------------------------
My current inclination is to invite kids for pizza and juice so parents
don't have to feed them...(I know,they'll never eat it)....
take pictures, maybe a couple of games, parade outside around the house in 
the dark and then have parents pick them up to go trick or treating.

If someone in your neighborhood did this what would you think ? I'm talking
about 10 neighborhood kids between ages 5 and 9.

    Gee that sounds like fun -- can I bring my kids over???!!
    Sounds perfect for that age.
    
    Wish someone'd do it in my neighborhood...altho it's just a street with
    maybe 6 kids on it.  I'm getting too old to go out....

    
    What time can YOU start??  If you have an hour or so before you want to
    go getting candy, then I'd feed them first.
    
    If not, then have some "reasonable" snacks at your party, go Trick or
    Treating, and just have sandwiches for later - get some lunch meat,
    tell them they have to eat at least 1/2 sandwich before they can have
    candy, and then load 'em up with sugar and send 'em home.
    
    Another thought might be to find a (DARK!)field or someplace, and bring
    along a picnic basket.  Take the kids out to a few streets, and then 
    (kids get tired about 1/2 way through), take a  break from
    trick-or-treating, sit in the field and have sandwiches and juice boxes
    (well, the juice in them!), and a piece of candy, and tell some ghost
    stories ... the other parents will probably appreciate you bringing
    them home with LESS candy, and the kids will appreciate the rest and
    the fun time.
    
    And you'll have to listen to a little less of the "My feet hurt!". 
    Maybe you live close enough to the tracks - you could eat on the rails?
    that'd be a pretty spooky place to do it!!  Or near the schools, on the
    bleachers or something?  Nagog Woods probably has a place or two you
    can sit for a while.  Or there's plenty of swamp in Acton - maybe you
    could get near one of them .... go out the day before and hang a ghost
    in a tree that's sort of hard to see, and then you can point it out to
    the kids "Hey!  Who's that?!" I just saw Glow-in-the-dark crayons at
    K-Mart - you could color spooky looking "place mats" or a lunch bag w/
    their food in it.  You'd have to find out ahead of time what type of
    sandwich  each kid is likely to eat.
    
    OR you could tell the kids to BRING a bag lunch with them, saves you a
    lot of work.
    
    All sorts of ideas (and my poor poor children are going to be *SO*
    spooked the w/end before Halloween thanks to all these fantastic
    ideas!)  
    
    I **LOVE** halloween!!
    

    
    I just re-read your note, and realized you're not planning to take all
    the kids trick or treating.  
    
    Go for it!
    
    Have the kids AND parents (who want to) come over, with brown-bag
    supper, go out for a bit, do the dinner/ghost story bit, and then
    finish up and go home.  Sure - the kids'll fall RIGHT to sleep after
    being scared to death with tons of sugar in 'em!  (-;

    >Mike also wants to trick or treat with a group.
    
    A specific group? A specific group that's *not* the party group? (I'm
    guessing this because you say the group is NOT school friends, and
    you're wondering if you should wrap up the party early so the parents
    can pick up the kids *to go trick or treating*.)
    
    If this is the case, I'd tell Mike he can either have the party on the
    weekend OR the trick-or-treating has to be a part of the party.  First
    of all, it's way too much work on a Tuesday night to get home, get
    costumed, have a dinner party, get everyone back to their parents and
    THEN go trick-or-treating.  Second, it's unfair to the partygoers,
    since the message is "time for you to go; you don't rate for my trick-
    or-treating plans."
    
    You have enough time to issue invitations; chances are parents haven't
    made chiseled-in-stone plans for the trick-or-treating part.
    
    Or maybe I read your note inside-out... :-)
    Leslie

    Okay. This is what i meant. He wants to trick or treat with kids,
    doesn't matter who or how many. My intent was to have the parents come
    get the kids up after an hour of or so of activities at our house and 
    that the kids would be with their parents (I wouldn't want mine with 
    someone else) when they trick or treated but that most would probably 
    just start trick or treating FROM our house ...that way there would 
    be a group for Mike to be with ??!!!?!? as people dispersed from the 
    party...it is all basically within walking distance.
    
    I will be home early that day so I have plenty of time.
    
    It seems that there is a big build-up for that night over the whole month of
    October and the kids dress up for about 1 hr and then it is over. 
                                      
    Thanks for the good input !!

    How about "tea sandwitches" only use pumpking and witch and bat cookie
    cutters instead of the usual clubs, diamonds, spades, hearts shapes. 
    You could also use kid standby's like peanut butter and jelly, or
    deviled ham, or whatever, in place of the cucumber and cream cheese and
    tuna.  They might just be intriging enough to get excited kids to eat
    something besides candy.  
    
    A neighbor and I trade off on trick-or-treating, as she and I both want
    to escort our kids and enjoy the neighborhood displays.  Our
    neighborhood goes out for all Hallows in a big way.  We both also
    enjoy handing out goodies.  I take the early shift of walking the
    kids so she can hand out goodies and enjoy the littles ones, and then
    she takes the older kids out to finish out the evening while I handle
    handing out goodies to bigger kids.   
    
    In order to handle this I have moved my religious observation to either
    the day before or the day after, so we aren't interupted while my kids
    are (re)told the legend of Persephone and Hades and the mythology
    surrounding winter and spring.  The pomegranants are a good antidote to
    all the processed sugar they will munch in the coming days.  
    
    meg
    
    

    I am looking for a list of "haunted houses", hayrides, great halloween
    lawn displays in the Central Mass, Southern NH, area.
    
    Thanks,
    Roberta