Conference moira::parenting

298.0. "Adoption: Trying to find a birthmother" by ROYALT::D_KELLEHER () Wed Sep 09 1992 18:03

Moderator:  If this is "against the rules" to print, I apologize ahead of time
            but have to try all avenues available in my search.

On the advice of our Adoption Agency we have compiled the following letter
of which we will be distributing to as many friends/family/co-workers as 
possible to set up a referral network so that we can identify a birthmother.
As it is not legal to "advertise" in Newspapers in Mass., we are left with 
this as our only option.  In the past 6 months we have located 2 birthmothers,
who after having their babies changed their minds and decided to keep the babies.
And even though we were clearly disappointed understand completely their 
decisions.  But we must move on.  If anyone has any questions or concerns
please contact me either by phone (DTN:235-8688 and/or HOME 508-975-3005) 
or electronically (ROYALT::D_KELLEHER

I also give my permission to reproduce this letter for distribution as long as 
it is not published in "print".

							September 1992

	    Thank you for being willing to help us in our efforts to 
        adopt a baby.

	    We are interested in an identified adoption (an adoption 
        where a baby has been identified for a specific couple prior to 
        it's birth) and really need your help in order to accomplish 
        this.

	    We are John and Donna Kelleher, of Methuen Massachusetts.  
        John will be 33 this year, and is a Senior Production Control 
        Coordinator.  Donna will be 32 this year, and is a 
        Administrative Secretary.  We have been married 6 years, and 
        have been trying to have a baby for the past 5 years.  We are 
        both members of St. Monicas Parish in Methuen, Ma., and will be 
        raising our child in a loving Catholic home.   We built our new 
        three bedroom home in 1990, in a quiet residential area that is 
        wonderful for raising children.  Our home is situated in a newly 
        established Cul-De-Sac, where there are many children ranging 
        from ages 2-14.  We also have a male 1/2 Newfoundland, 1/2 black 
        Lab who is 2 years old and is loved by everyone in the 
        neighborhood.  We enjoy traveling, camping, hiking, swimming, 
        and crafting.  We love children and wait eagerly for the day we 
        can welcome a child into our home and family.

	    These past 5 years have been filled with infertility 
        specialist, surgery for Donna and different levels of fertility 
        drugs.  Due to multiple medical reasons Donna is unable to 
        conceive.  This past year Donna's doctors told her it was futile 
        to continue treatment, we searched our hearts for the answer.  
        As a couple, we have decided that we want to add to our family 
        by adoption as there is no hope any other way.   In researching 
        adoption placement agencies within Massachusetts we found that 
        waiting list for infants is approximately 7-9 years, this is 
        "if" you can even get on a waiting list.  We found that our only 
        hope in finding a baby for adoption is through "identified 
        adoption".  The adoption will be handled through a licensed 
        adoption agency, Jewish Family Services of Massachusetts.  This 
        agency has completed an extensive home study (which is required 
        by Massachusetts law) for John and I, and only handles 
        identified adoptions (approximately 12 per year).  We chose 
        David Colten at Jewish Family Services because of his small case 
        load and his caring attention to our needs.  And also because 
        dear friends of ours recently adopted their baby through David's 
        office and describe it as a very positive experience.


	    If you know of an expectant mother who wants to relinquish 
        her child for adoption, we would appreciate your making a 
        referral on our behalf.  In order to do this we ask that you 
        tell the expectant mother that you know of a Massachusetts 
        couple would is interested in adopting a baby.  You may also 
	tell her that all legal costs, and all medical expenses for her
	and the baby not covered by her insurance will be paid by us 
        through the agency (if she has no insurance, we will pay the 
        full amount, again through the agency, for both her and the 
        baby).  Also, that we will pay for any professional counseling 
        that she may need in order to make the decision that is right 
        for her.  You can tell her general information about us but our 
        name, address and phone number must be kept confidential or the 
        agency will not accept the referral for us (you may phone us if 
        necessary).  We can also meet the birthmother (per her request)
	if arranged though an intermediary, no last names are used.

	    The procedure is to explain to the expectant mother that we 
        are working with Mr. David Colten of Jewish Family Services in 
        Massachusetts and that if she is interested in our adopting her 
        baby she should call Mr. David Colten at 617-745-9760, then we 
        ask that you call Mr. Colten and give him the expectant mother's 
        name and tell him you are calling on our behalf.  At this point 
        the referral has been made and it is up to the expectant mother 
        to decide whether or not to pursue this option.  You will have 
        provided the expectant mother with a valuable resource and have 
        helped us to find the baby we are waiting for.  If you have any 
        questions prior to making a referral, please feel free to 
        contact David Colten or John and Donna Kelleher.

	    Thank you so much for your help.

	    Sincerely,
	    Mr. & Mrs. John Kelleher
	    508-975-3005


	Referral:  Mr. David Colten
	           Jewish Family Services
	           564 Loring Ave.
                   Salem, Ma. 01970
	           617-745-9760