Conference moira::parenting

    Maybe a framed photo of your son?
    

    
    >              <<< Note 295.1 by ICS::HSCOTT "Lynn Hanley-Scott" >>>

    > Maybe a framed photo of your son?
    
    Good idea. 
    
    As an extension to the above idea ... maybe a multi-picture frame with 
    photos of your son at different ages?
    
    Pam
    

    How about a bush or tree for the yard, something that will grow on for
    many years.  We gave our caregiver an azaelia bush, when Charlie moved
    on to another daycare.
    
    Rachel

    I gave a photo and a gift certificate to a restaurant.

    One thing that you can give that costs nothing is a wonderful letter
    telling her how much you appreciated the care she gave your son, how he
    thrived, and how much a part of the family your son felt. 
    
    I'm not suggesting that you avoid a gift entirely, but I guarantee you
    that she'll remember (and treasure) the letter forever.
    
    judy

    We recently went through this transition with Steven.  He had been
    going to my Sister in law's family daycare since he was 10 weeks old.
    He's almost 3 now.
    
    I drove myself crazy trying to think of the perfect gift to give
    to someone that had given so much love, nurturing and caring to
    our son.  We did write her a letter in a card from my husband and
    I.  I also took Steven to the store to pick out flowers for her
    and together, Steven and I made a Thank You card for her from him.
    
    The card was made of construction paper and in large letters I
    wrote, "Thank You For..."  and then I asked Steven what he liked
    about going to Auntie Lisa's.  I wrote all of his comments on 
    the front of the card in different colored markers.  We  came up 
    with everything from "cutting fingernails to walks to the park".
    
    She loved it.
    
    She made him alittle book with pictures of Steven's cousins and
    even one of her. She made it into a funny story about his days
    at her house and added funny captions.  It ended with a note to
    Steven.
    
    That would be a nice idea if you had pictures of your caregiver.
    
    I hope this helps.
    
    Linda
    
    
    
    

    How about giving her a couple of movie passes and a gift certificate to
    go out to eat.  Then you could make up a home-made gift certificate
    stating that "this is good for babysitting" her two children overnight
    if necessary while she goes out with her hubby.
    
    

    In addition to a gift from the parents, she would probably also
    appreciate a home-made gift from your son.  How about having him make
    a card for her?  

    Like .6, we "took dictation" from our middle child when she moved on at
    age 3 1/2 from family day care to a pre-school. It was good for her,
    too, to think about what she had liked about life at her caregiver's.
    
    Kit

    What about a locket, with the possibility of putting your child's
    picture in it, or someone else's?  There's also a charm at some jewelry
    stores which "says" I love you.  

    We are going to the annual NICU hospital reunion this weekend, and I
    would like some gift ideas.  Last year, we bought the nursery 3 tape
    recorders since Shannon really liked to listen to soft music during her
    long stay.  I would like to get something *other* than cassette tapes
    since the hospital seems to have so many.
    
    Any ideas?
    Thanks,
    Beth 

Well, it's time to start thinking of holiday gifts for caregivers...

This is Steven's first year at a daycare center, he's 3.
I've been wondering what the "etiquette" is for gift giving 
in centers.

He started at the center in September, 2 days/week.  Both
his teacher and the assistant are new.  They both started in his
classroom in mid-October.

I was thinking of giving a gift to the classroom instead
of the teachers individually.  My husband thinks the teachers
would be slighted if we don't give them individual gifts.
And what about the directors?  

What do YOU do?  I'm looking for any suggestions you can 
offer.

	thanks! Linda

                      <<< Note 295.12 by VINO::LJOHNSON >>>
                       -< Holiday gifts for Caregivers >-

Since the day care center we used to use often shared responsibility for 
the children, we were uncomfortable getting each one a gift.  We started
several years ago getting a fruit basket that had enough for everyone
to share.  We always got big thank yous for the fresh fruit in the
middle of winter.

    Last year I only had one kiddo in daycare, and was able to afford gift
    certificates to restaurants for the daycare providers.  Since I have
    TWO in daycare and five daycare teachers to worry about this year, I 
    made them all sweatshirts (the ones with iron on transfers and fabric 
    paint).
    
    -Joy
    

    This is my first time, too....what do you give the
    daycare?  I live on a tight budget (who doesn't?).
    
    There are 3 regulars that take care of Mitchell...he's
    only there 2-3 days a week...I see other teachers, but
    I don't know them....and I think they just fill in for
    the baby room.  Do you give the directors something?
    
    I was thinking of making something sweet and labeling it
    for everyone....is that slighting his particular teachers?
    I suppose I could give them a little something more with the
    'goodies'.....
    
    Thanks for any ideas....Kristen

    This is my first time too.   In my case Daniel is 1, he is with the
    same daycare provider since he was three and a half months.   She 
    takes care of him in her own home.   What is the usual type of
    christmas gift.
    
    
    Thanks,
    
    Bernie

    I used to give Marc's family daycare provider an extra week's pay at
    holiday time.  She always appreciated this very much.

    I'm in the same predicament, too.  Sarah will be with her current
    provider for almost 2 months by the time the holidays arrive.  It is
    just one person, in her home.
    
    Re 17:	I'm sure she appreciates the extra weeks pay (so would I
    8^) ), but I don't happen to have the extra $$$$$$$ laying around (I don't
    even spend that much on individual family members).  I prefer not to
    give money, anyway.
    
    Susan

    The sweatshirts are a good idea!
    
    We never had a problem thinking of gifts for our
    family daycare provider, but then again it was my
    sister in law.  We usually bought a holiday Christmas
    ornament and article of clothing..or gave her extra
    pay.
    
    With the center it is different.  We just aren't
    very connected to the teacher (yet), and Steven
    barely mentions the assistant by name.  We really
    loved the previous teacher and assistant, and would
    probably have had an easier time getting a personal
    gift for them.
    
    I was thinking of buying a toy for the room.  Has anyone
    done this?
    
    	Keep those ideas coming!
    		Linda

    re .16   
    
    We give our family daycare provider $100 plus a small, personal 
    item (varies each year)- similar to the one week's pay that Deb 
    mentioned in .17.   But then, she has given him a some toy and 
    knitted him a sweater, hat, and mittens for the past two 
    Christmases....so the $100 feels appropriate in this case.
    I also know that cash is what she would prefer.
    
    I'd think gifts for daycare center teachers would be on a much
    smaller scale - coffee mugs, real maple syrup, xmas tree ornaments
    or decor (if appropriate), homemade cookies, jams, etc., perfume -
    are a few of the things off the top of my head.
    
    Carol
        

    If you don't know for sure your care provider's religion, I recommend
    that you avoid Christmas theme mugs, ornaments, or clothing.  Nobody
    minds those yummy Christmas cookies, though! (Provided they're not
    kosher or on a restricted diet.)  Fruit baskets, nuts, and other basics
    are always welcome.
    
    L

    Re: -1.  That was sort of why we always gave our family provider cash. 
    (besides the fact that she took care of Marc every single day for two
    years, and treated him like a member of her own family, plus we knew
    she could use the money).  She isn't Jewish or Christian, so I didn't
    want to get her a "holiday" gift.  I thought of the cash a kind of an
    end-of-year bonus. 
    
    However, a week's pay is a lot of money, and I'm not suggesting anyone
    do that.  That's just what we did in the past.  You should give whatever
    you feel comfortable giving.  And, yes, I agree that gifts for daycare
    center teachers should be _much_ more modest.  Marc has 3 teachers
    this year, and I was thinking of baking something, or getting something
    small from the Harry and David catalog (yummy fruit and cakes and stuff).
    
    (BTW, I'm pretty sure we had this discussion in the last file, also).

    
    Another one for the "sweatshirt" idea. After mulling it over, I've
    decided to give Michaels daycare provider a decorated Christmas
    Sweatshirt (my mom makes them and sells them at craft fairs). I'll 
    probably give it to her a week or so in advance so she can wear it
    a few times before the actual holiday. 
    
    My question is, should I get something small for her 2 children also??
    I'd like to, but $$ is tight, and I'm just not sure if I should push my
    budget and just go for it or not??? 
    
    Chris
    

    I think the baked goodies or fruit basket type of idea is great for a
    daycare center atmosphere.  My personal situation is with a home
    daycare provider so I just bought her something for the home that
    hopefully her entire family can enjoy.  My stepmom is very crafty and
    sells a lot of her goods, so I bought something to match her decor.
    I've never had Justin in a center, but would think it would be
    innapropriate to buy gifts for all the providers (not to mention
    costly), but I guess the general rule of thumb would apply...do what
    feels right to you.  I wouldn't buy the providers kids something too, 
    unless you are close to the children and would buy them something
    anyway.  Just my opinion, and another one trying to make everyone happy
    but not go broke at the same time!
    
    Happy Holidays,
    Von

    There are some good ideas in PARENTINGV3 note 575.
    
    I'm still wondering about "daycare center etiquette" 
    in particular though.
    
    	Linda

    Yes, we have had this discussion before.  I was the one who initiated
    it last year.
    
    Linda, on daycare center etiquette...in the past, I have given gifts to 
    my kids' "special" teachers and to the director who, in our case, is
    a very "hands-on" director.  It seemed like she did more than the
    teachers, but few people tended to think of her at Christmas time.
    To deal with the teachers who weren't really my children's teachers,
    but did take care of them some of the time, I have also bought candy 
    baskets (usually from Hebert's Candy Mansion, which I happen to pass on 
    the way to daycare) for the teachers to share.
    
    In my opinion, unless it's a home-based daycare, a gift for the room
    isn't really appropriate as a substitute for a teacher gift.  It's kind
    of like buying your own child a gift.  As a teacher, I _think_ I would
    prefer something that shows you are thinking of _me_, even if it
    something very inexpensive.
    
    Just my opinion,
    
    -Tracy
    
    

    Thank you Tracy!  We have the same type of director/owner at our
    center and I definitely want to remember her too!
    
    	Linda

    I have a seven month old daughter who is in home daycare.  With the
    holidays approaching, I was wondering what to do about her daycare
    providers (there is an assistant) for a holiday gift.  
    
    Do any of you give a gift to your providers for the holidays ?
    
    If yes, what is appropriate ?
    
    Any suggestions are appreciated.

    Well, I was in this same situation last year, my daughter was 7 months
    old and we had only had this daycare provider for 2 months.  What we
    ended up doing was sending her a Deluxe Tower of Treats from Harry and
    David.  It contained 7 boxes, each with a different contents (one had
    honey roasted nuts, another had pears, another had chocolates, etc.).
    We felt that this way her family could share in the gift, too (her 2
    kids are wonderful).  With shipping it came to about $60.  There are
    smaller, and less expensive, Tower of Treats, too.
    
    This year we will give her an extra weeks pay.  Last year someone
    mentioned they did this and I thought it was really extravagant.  Well,
    we've had Donna caring for Sarah for a year now and I can say it's
    worth it.  Sarah adores going to her house and I can see how Donna
    really enjoys having Sarah there.  Sarah's blossomed under her care.
    It's a small gift to give to someone who's looking after the love of my
    life.
    
    Susan
    
    

    You could also bake some cookies, or if you're crafty, make ornaments
    for her tree [if appropriate], or buy one if you're not.  My kids have
    always been in day care centers, where you often have multiple
    teachers, so it can really get expensive.  Last year I purchased some
    of those baking boxes [where you bake a little loaf cake in the pan and
    then use it as a gift box]; one year i baked several kinds of cookies
    and put an assortment into pretty little gift boxes; one year, when i
    only had 1 child!, I actually made 2 little ornaments on plastic canvas
    for each teacher.  Haven't decided what to do this year, I have one
    pretty ornament left over from another year, so I'll either get one
    more or bake for the other teacher [we're finally down to only 2 regular
    teachers -- and it's finally our last year in day care!! the school
    requests that we not give personal presents to the teachers but buy
    something for the classroom instead.  staples, here i come!]
    
    sandy

Last year Lauren was at a daycare where they did not specify a primary teacher. 
Since I wanted to thank everyone, that meant about 7 gifts.  What we did was buy
some very nice red Christmas mugs and fill them with chocolates.  I then took
the clear plastic wrap (commonly used on gift baskets) and wrapped each mug with
the wrap and christmas ribbon.  It happened that all the workers had a weakness
for chocolate.

 

    
    How about a photo album with a photo of your child in it?
    
    Each time Rebecca has been promoted at creche to the next room, I have
    given her nurses a photo album. They have always been well received.
    
                      seals
    

    I usually try to give a gift certificate for dinner or the local mall. 
    Most of of our daycare givers are underpaid and have told me that they 
    really like being able to splurge and buy something they want.

    I give gift certificates for resturants and stores too.  That way I
    hope my children's caregiver goes out to eat or buys herself something. 
    If I gave her money, I wouldn't be sure she did anything for herself
    with it as she is so generous with her 3 grown children....
    
    We usually buy her a flower arrangement and put the certificates in it
    as the card.
    
    -beth

    American Express gift checks work the same are can be used anywhere. 
    AND they are available thru the DCU - so it couldn't get much easier.
    
    FWIW
    
    -sandy
    

    My daughter goes to a daycare center and there are three main teachers
    in her room.  What we did last year for holiday presents was to make a
    sweatshirt for each teacher with her handprints.  She also drew some
    designs on the shirt.  I put her name and the year at the bottom.  The
    teachers all seemed to enjoy this gift - in fact they each wore their
    sweatshirt the next day.  These were easy to make and was something
    that Cassidy could participate in - she was just 3 at the time.  We
    also made sweatshirts for each of the grandparents.
    
    Ginny

	HI,

	I have a different situation.  I am leaving my present daycare
	center (and going to another daycare).  

	Should I give a gift?  They've been going through teachers
	on a regular basis...teacher of the month basically.  I
	have gotten to know 1 (out of about 10) really well and I like 
	her.  She has been there all along.  Could I give her a thank 
	you gift and no one else?  I am going to miss her.  

	Any advise?
	Lynne

There was one teacher who we really liked in Lauren's toddler room when we made
the decision to change daycares (but there were still the original three
teachers in the infant room).  So we decided to thank the whole gang (never know
who you might run across at a future daycare) and brought lunch in for the
teachers on Lauren's last day.  Basically a variety of sub sandwiches, chips,
and sodas with cupcakes for kids and adults.  That particular daycare had only
about 20 kids.  

    Of course you can give a gift just to her. Economics dictate that all
    of us give gifts to only those select few we choose too.  If it were
    kids involved it might be different, then, one 'has' to give a gift
    to all to be fair. But as adults we all know life ain't fair so few
    adults expect it.  But seriously, I still think the gift to the one
    special caregiver is fine.
    
    Miss Manners
    
    Ooops. No. Its Jeff

    With the holiday season upon us, I am looking for ideas for gifts for
    our child care givers.  Seems like every year it's the same old thing
    (i.e, a gift certificate, ornaments, etc.)  Any different ideas out
    there?  If it makes any difference our kids go to a center, not private
    daycare.
    
    Thanks.

    
    	shhh, Spencer's teachers at his daycare are getting homemade
    Christmas fabric pillow cases. If you can sew a straight line, it's
    real easy (and everyone loves them).
    
    				Wendy

	
	Two weeks ago, when I arrived at my mother's to pick up my daughter,
	she said, "Thanks for the flowers!"

	I had no idea what she was talking about, and told her so.
	
	She said, "You didn't send flowers from Emily ?"

	Then, she showed me a beautiful arrangement she had received that
	day with a card that read, "Grammy, thanks for taking such good
	care of me while Mommy and Daddy are at work.  I love you, God
	Bless, Emily"

	My husband had sent the flowers, but hadn't even told me his
	plans.  If I could bottle the way my mother felt that day, I
	could make a fortune.

	Perhaps a surprise gift to the center that arrives shortly
	before Christmas would be similarly appreciated ?

	Karen

    
    I usually give a gift certificate to a restaurant, and try to make it
    large enough (at an inexpensive rest.) so that my daycare provider can
    take her family as well.
    
    If that's out of the question, what I've done for her b.days is
    magazine subscriptions - there's a *GREAT* magazine for families/kids
    called Family Fun, that's ~$12.00/year, and is packed full of neat
    ideas.  Maybe something like that, or a crafts magazine, or something
    else they can use at the center??  
    
    Good Luck!

Right now, my boys are still with a babysitter, a woman who provides child
care in her home.

Last year, we sent her a gift basket of pointsettas and goodies.  The basket
was well decorated and the goodies included home made cookies and candies.  We
had the basket delivered to her home and she loved it.  The total cost was about
$16.00.

We'll probably do something similar this year.

    
    Another idea:
    
    After Christmas this year, buy some generic presents.  I found a great 
    deal on some Nutcracker mugs - 80% off!... and this year, I don'thave
    the dilemma.

    In years past I have given my provider many different things. The ones
    she liked best at the time were the cash bonuses. 
    
    I remember one year when cash was hard to get I asked her if she wanted
    the cash or a Digital Stock. Many of our conversations during the year
    had mentioned planning for the future. She decided to take the stock.
    She still has if only its not as valuable now as it was at the time.
    Today I would give her three if thats what she wanted. 
    
    This year she has asked all her clients to pay for the week after 
    Christmas but not bring thier children.(1 week paid vacation).
    I had assumed that I would be giving her a bonus again this year
    and started with the usual options and she said the paid week was her
    bonus and that I was "not to worry" about anything else.
    
    I will get her a gift. She's been a friend and co-parent for 12 years
    and is more a part of our family that my brothers and sisters are. If I 
    knew I could afford it I would give her a bonus and the week paid. But
    my last week at Dec will be Christmas week and going from two incomes
    to one is going to be challanging enough. 
    
    Some gift ideas for teachers that have been appriciated in the past 
    have been centered around the space theme. In Colorado Springs their is 
    a Space Foundation the provides training materials for teachers, scout
    leaders ect. For 14 dollars we got lesson plans using space as the
    theme to teach nutrition, math, geography ect. The lesson plans were
    for the age group she teaches(first grade). The first time I did this I 
    paid for the plans and had the foundation mail them to her as they were
    out at the time. Later when I told her to expect it in the mail I found
    out she had already recieved it and it had everyone(all the other
    teachers) envious, and wondering what she did to rate the materials.
    I plan on giving his new teacher the same gift. I have picked them up
    along with other "freebie" stuff they give to teachers, including a 
    schedule of training she could take if she is interested.
    
    jan

    I have a question about what to do for our daycare provider's
    birthday.  I am at this point, a little tardy since it was
    last week, but I had no knowledge it was her birthday until
    she told me why she was taking a particular day off.  I just
    figured it was some proceedure or family thing, I just didn't
    want to sound nosey and ask.  I guess I do sort of have an
    escape on this, since the day of her birthday and the day after
    was a major snow/ice storm.  Can I use the excuse that because
    of the weather I just hadn't gotten out?  She actually postponned
    having AJ's birthday party until mid January, in combination
    with her daughter's 13th birthday. That was really fine with
    me since his birthday is only a week after Christmas, and we
    had had a party on his birthday (a Sunday) as it was, it gave
    him a break between the holidays, his home party, the one
    in school, and the one from the sitter. (sounds like a pretty
    lucky kid the way I see it!)
    
    Oh and for Christmas, I gave her a large box of homemade,
    hand dipped chocolates and fudge.  The only thing I did
    differently for her was to give her two separate boxes,
    since her son is extremely allergic to nuts of any kind
    I separated a box with nuts, and a box with nut-containing
    chocolates, and the fudge.  She loved it and was able to
    share with her family.
    
    She in turn gave each child a coloring book, box of crayons
    and paints, had a party with candy and cupcakes, and the
    best of all... each parent got a "certificate" good for
    one free day of daycare, tied up like diploma with a green
    ribbon!
    
    Lyn

    Depends on what you want to spend, but a gift certificate for a dinner
    out is always a nice way to go.
    
    -sandy
    

    Hoping someone has some ideas.  My son's preschool teacher is moving
    and this Friday is her last day.  (I know, it's already Wednesday!).
    Anyways, he's been at the same center for 2 1/2 years but has only
    had this particular teacher for about 3 months (since he transferred
    into the preschool program).  He was sort of slow warming up to her
    but he speaks quite favorably about her now - although he doesn't show
    the same level of affection he did for his previous "teachers".  But
    I think she's done wonderful things for him (i.e, was instrumental in
    getting him potty trained, 1:1 attention, projects, etc) so we would
    like to give her a token of our appreciation.  The problem is is that
    we don't know her that well from a personal perspective and she and
    her husband are moving to Maine.  Any suggestions?  Thanks.

    From your node, I'm assuming you work over in Acton - how about going
    to Ralph Jordan's or The Paper Store and looking over there?  They have
    some really nice things - I've gotten lots of gifts there after going
    to lots of other stores and not finding anything.  Do you know if the
    teacher knows a lot about Maine?  You could always get a "tour" book
    that talks about all sorts of things to do up there.  Argh - it's
    tough to think first thing in the morning, but that's what I could come
    up with off the top of my head.
    
    Good luck!
    Barb

    When my son graduated from kindergarten he made his teachers gifts that
    they loved and it wasn't expensive:
    
    We took some clay flower pots and painted them - he made flowers
    and fish and hearts on them.  Then we lined them with plastic
    wrap and filled them with homemade cookies.  His teachers
    still have them on their desks and use them as pencil holders
    now.  They said they liked them because they were original
    and were made my him as opposed to purchased at a store.  Nathan
    had a great time making them too.
    
    Hope this helps,
    Pam

This weekend we have a family event.   While we are there, our 
daughter will be at my husband's cousin's home.   It's her, her 
husband, and their three daughters (12, 10, 8 ?).   

We do not see each other regularly, and this is definitely a favor 
they are doing for us.   I want to get some kind of gift, but dont' 
know what.   

A bottle of wine?  but that's just for the parents...   

Something for the girls?  but what?  and three things?   and then what 
about the parents?    

Any ideas?  


Thanks,

	Perhaps a gift certificate to a nearby family restaurant ?

	Karen

    Something they can do together - a badminton or croquet set for the 
    backyard?  "Pictionary" or "Clue" or...?
    
    Leslie

    Does anyone know where you can have "picture" calendars made?  These
    are regular wall calendars (not the cloth type) and each month has a
    different picture of the kids.  For example, August would be the kids
    at the beach, October would show the kids in their Halloween costumes,
    December in their Holiday outfits, etc.  My cousin had one made for
    her mother a few years ago but no longer has the info on it.  I thought
    it would be a different gift for the grandparents this Christmas -
    I know they'd love the different pictures.  Any ideas?
    

I had one made for lots of family members this past Christmas.  Alphagraphics
in Manchester, NH did it for me.  I think it was $35 for the first calendar
and $25 for each copy of that calendar.

There are also a couple of mail order places that offer this service, though
I fear I don't remember their names.

I seem to remember advertisements for places that would do this in the
back of baby magazines -- the ones I usually got for free from the ob/gyns
or maternity clothing stores.

Hope this helps!

My cousin works at a Staples in Mass (I don't know which one) and did this
with all the cousin's kids for Christmas last year.  I have no idea how much
it cost.  I don't think there was a restriction on the size of the picture
either, the calendar have some portrait, some landscape, some 3x5, some studio
shots, etc.

Anyone in ZK can come check mine out (in the next three days before I go out
on leave), Erin is Miss August!

Jackie

    Kinko Copy is another big chain that does this.  The branch in
    Manchester NH should be able to tell you if there's one near you. The
    phone number is 603-644-COPY.  
    
    If you're into do-it-yourself, what you need is some place that does: 
    		Color photocopy
    		Laminating
    		Spiral Binding
    
    You can make the calendar pages yourself from photocopying a calendar
    and adding special dates (if you want).  This part can be black and
    white.
                                 

    
    This isn't really for caregivers but seemed the best topic fit.
    
    I need some ideas for small gifts for bus drivers (one woman, one
    man).    Do people usually buy gifts for bus drivers?  What about
    phys ed and music teachers?   I guess I need help figuring out where
    to draw the line.   (Can you tell this is my first year with a child
    in school?)   I was thinking of something small (~$5) - just for the
    thought.
    
    Also, my son has both a teacher and a teacher's aide in his classroom.  
    Should I buy the same thing for both?  The other thing that I wondered
    about was a gift for the classroom (nice, hardbound book or a gift
    certificate to Hammett's).   
    
    Any answers/ideas from those more experienced??
    
    Thanks,
    Carol 

    My kids are in daycare.  We give their teachers (including music, swim
    and gym) and assistants each the same level of present.
    
    What I do is just something fairly cheap since I have 6 of them.  For
    this year I picked up Christmas decorated tins of shortbread cookies
    for each of them.  I spent $2-3 each.  Depending on the time, you can
    also have the child make something for them (there was another note on
    gifts kids can make).
    
    Irene

For Anthony's 1st grade teacher we've picked up a Cat in the Hat doll from
Macy's on sale for $13.  For the bus driver I bought some wooden school bus
Christmas tree ornaments that about 4 inches long earlier this year for a buck
or so each.  We'll probably give her a few.

Dave

    for school teachers, a letter to the principal telling them how great
    the teacher is, if you get along well with them and your child does, are
    also a good thing.  
    
    meg

    
    Having been a school teacher, I will tell you that any sort of
    acknowledgement is greatly appreciated!  I love Meg's idea of
    writing a letter to the principal.
    
    What I've done every year is, with my son, make Christmas tree
    ornaments and have him sign his name and the year to the back
    of it.  I give presents to everyone - he is in third grade but
    we give presents to his Kdg, 1st and 2nd grade teachers also -
    gym teacher, art, music, computer, enrichment, principal, 
    bus driver etc....
    
    I plan well ahead of time and usually make the ornaments in October
    so that we don't have to worry about it closer to Christmas time.
    
    Pam

    Better check with the school before getting individual gifts for the
    teachers.  Our school (Boxboro, MA) usually sends home a note
    mid-December asking that we get something for the classroom instead of
    for the teachers specifically.  In the past I've given index cards,
    pencils, glue sticks, crayons, colored paper, scotch tape.  This year,
    all the schools are having problems getting paper supplies -- the costs
    have gone sky-high -- so I'm actually thinking of getting "xerox" paper
    for them.  Each class usually has a room mother too -- she may have
    some ideas from the teachers' wish list.
    
    For the bus driver, we've been lucky to have the same woman for 7 years
    now.  My son started giving her one wildflower for each year she'd
    driven him back and forth -- maybe this year we'll get her a small
    plant instead [he's off to jr. high next year -- may luck out and have
    her again then too as she also drives that route!]
    
    sandy

Yikes!!  I feel like I just landed in a different culture!
When I was a child, I *never* gave Christmas presents to any of
my teachers or the bus driver.  (I went to school in the Montgomery
County, MD public school system).

Is gift giving standard operating procedure in New England?
Noelle just started pre-school in September so I'd hate to
offend someone out of ignorance.  Please advise!

- Deb B.

   I grew up in CT, and I don't remember giving anything to teachers
   beyond grammar school.  But then my mother was a substitute teacher
   and is still good friends with my 2nd grade teacher and a lot of folks
   in the school system, so its hard to say what "normal" is.  My mother
   used to make aprons for teachers - applicable for men and women - just
   change the trim a little if you like, and she would use fabric paint
   to write all the kids' names on the apron.  I don't think we did
   anything for bus drivers, but I'm not sure, really.
      
   Last year my (then) 5 yr old made Christmas ornaments(1) for her
   teachers and bus drivers.   And all the kids gave fudge(2) to other
   folks - the librarians at the children's desk of the public library,
   Sunday school teachers, etc.
   
   At the end of the year one of the kindergarten room mothers organized
   a project where all the kids put their hand prints and names on a
   large canvas tote bag.
   
   ymmv,
   
   - Tom
   

   (1) - the ornaments were very simple - using outdoor Christmas bulbs,
   sequens, small eyes, pipe cleaners and ribbon, create a reindeer
   ornament.  The pipe cleaners were antlers, and the rest was fairly
   straight forward.  Decorate and improvise as you see fit.  My wife
   bought one at a craft fair and used it as a model to help my daughter
   make her own.
   

   (2) Microwave Fudge - dangerously simple, and quite good:
   
   Ingredients:
   
   3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
   1 can (14 oz) Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk
   1/2 cup margarine or butter
   1 cup chopped walnuts  (optional)
   
   - Place all ingredients except nuts in a large microwave proof bowl
   - Microwave at 50% power until chips are melted -- 3-5 minutes --
     stirring once or twice during cooking.
   - Stir in nuts  (optional)
   - Pour into well greased 8"x8" baking dish.
   - Refrigerate until set
   
   Variations: 
   - substitute 1 cup of peanut butter chips for 1 cup of chocolate
     chips.
   - use other chocolates, such as white chocolate
   

    
    I just did the stuff for my kids for Christmas.  I got 3 large
    "snowman" shaped glass jars, and filled each with an assortment of
    Hershey's chocolates.  It's for all to share.  Last year they shared
    them with the whole class!  If there's more than 1 teacher in the
    class, they can share it.
    
    Usually the boys will put the candy on the teacher's desk, with a
    "FROM" note, but not "To" on there.  It's a big hit.
    
    I remember we used to give my teacher's those lifesaver books.
    
    It's the thought!
    
    Patty

    
    I personally hate giving gifts that I don't think will be used
    so I probably would not give perishable food items at a time
    of year when everyone is having trouble with their diets anyhow. 
    How about herbal tea, gourmet coffee, or other gormet food items.
    
    I love the Xmas ornament idea however not everyone celebrates Xmas.
    
    How about candlesticks?  You can make or buy them.  Take a pair,
    tie with ribbon and it makes a nice gift that anyone can use!
    
    I'm decorating a stiff lace hat with dried flowers for my daycare
    provider.  Total cost, probably $10.
    
    Karen

   re: candlesticks... 
   
   Neat idea... and something almost any kid can help with...remember
   that stuff that looks like a waffle.. its sheets of wax that you roll
   up to make candles out of... probably its talked about in the craft
   notes file somewhere... good stuff - all you need is wicking and
   sheets of wax - cut at an angle and roll to get tapered candles..
   
   - Tom

    I take my lead from the teacher - my second grader's teacher is asking
    for classroom supplies, and has sent a suggestion list home. Last year
    the class sponsored a family so everyone sent in small, inexpensive
    gifts.
    
    I also do small gift breads (mini-loaves), like chocolate cake or pound
    cakes. 

    Another idea would be nice home made Jams and Jellies.  They're canned,
    so they'll last for quite a while AFTER the holiday season.
    
    Holly 

    
    I put a lot of effort into the gift for my daycare provider, but then
    again, she's had Anna and now Lara since they were infants and she's
    become a good friend. I usually to a basket: one year it had food stuff
    in it (dried soup mixes, gourmet coffee, a couple of mugs, popcorn,
    etc). Last year I gave her some homemade Xmas decorations (from the
    Craft Barn in North Conway) and one of those designed cotton throws.
    This year she's getting homemade Halloween decorations (see above)
    and some Yankee Candle votive candles and candle cups, and some quilted
    Xmas coasters.
    
    I also bought (from North Conway) the quilted Xmas coasters for Anna's
    preschool teachers and assistant (3 women total). These only cost $6
    for the set and are really cute. I'm going to try and make them myself
    if I find the time (yea, right!). I might also jar some spiced walnuts
    for the teachers.
    
    Patty

    
    	Deb,
    
    	We never gave gifts to teachers when I was a kid.  Actually,
    	I was a bit surprised to even see the question re: the bus
    	driver, until everyone else began to respond.  
    
    	If Emily gives a gift to her preschool teachers, it'll be
    	something small and homemade if possible.  I like the idea
    	of homemade jams!  Last year, for our daycare provider, I
    	bought a white sweatshirt, dipped the kids' hands in fabric
    	paint (which I had squirted onto a paper plate), then put
    	the kids' handprints on the sweatshirt.  Later, I wrote their
    	names above their prints.  This year, Pat will be getting
    	a gift certificate to a local restaurant.
    
    	Karen
    

    
    Prior to Jason starting school, I wouldn't have thought of giving
    a small gift to the bus driver either.   However, since I do not
    have an opportunity (because I'm at work) to meet and get to know 
    the drivers (different driver AM and PM), I want to acknowledge
    their efforts and show my appreciation for safely getting my child 
    to/from school each day.  The holiday season/new year seems a perfect 
    opportunity to do that - either with a heartfelt note/card or a 
    small gift.     
    
    I asked Jason's teacher about a gift for the class at last night's
    "PTA" meeting/workshop.   She said she's sending home a wish list
    in their backpacks today - it sounded like mostly consumable items
    but we'll see.   Thanks to whoever pointed that possibility out
    earlier...
    
    Still looking for small gift ideas for a *man* - this is the
    really tough one.   I'm leaning towards food - nuts or something.
    Most men (well, and women too for that matter) like to eat, right?
    
    Thanks for the input so far,
    Carol
    
    
       

The gift-giving tradition seems to vary very widely.  I never gave gifts to
teachers, either, and currently we give gifts only to the kids, sometimes to
each other, occasionally to our niece and nephew, and sometimes to siblings and
parents, but nothing outside of that.  (No uncles, aunts, cousins, nor any
non-relatives.)  We don't usually send more than a handful of holiday cards,
either.

						Brian

    One of my daughter's daycare teachers got married last weekend and I
    would like to give her something for a gift - I'm not sure what.
    She is very good to my daughter and a very nice person.  My daughter
    has only been at the daycare center for a couple of months but I would
    like to give some type of gift.
    
    I was  thinking of a picture frame and a gift certificate from a local
    photo shop for a couple of enlargements - to fit the frame, however I'd
    welcome any other ideas.  She entered the marriage with a one and five
    year old so I'm not sure if I should try to get more of a "family" type
    gift.
    
    Comments????  Ideas????
    
    Thanks!
    Nancy

    
    	I think picture frames are a marvelous idea for a wedding gift.
    	That's what we've given when choosing for someone we don't know
    	really well, like the waitress at our favorite breakfast shop.