Conference moira::parenting

Yes, the economic stress has had an effect on our family life.  We are more
careful with money, as we feel we had better save more.  We have postponed
several house improvements that not only would increase the value of our
house but would improve the living space problems too. (and that affects me
the most, I have had to put my loom in a corner of our bedroom, instead of
having enough space to actually work with it.  We had planned a sunroom, in
which we were going to put the loom.  Maybe next year).

We plan on a local vacation next year, both because of money, and because
we will have an infant at that time.

So we argue a bit more about what to do with the money we have.  When there's
less to spend, there's more to argue about.  And in an unstable stock market,
we argue more about how conservatively to invest our savings.


We've made contingency plans.  We did that some time ago, when it first
appeared Digital was having problems, and when the USA/Iraq war started (my
husband is an airline pilot and oil availability has a direct effect on that
industry).  We have decided what we would do if each of us is layed-off, and
if both of us are layed off.  We have even discussed what we will do in the
event of a full-blown depression, when neither of us is employed for several
years.  (For example, next year, no matter what, our vegetable garden will
double in size.  This will help with groceries, and it won't hurt if we are
both still working).

We have worked out budgets for each scenario, to give us a feel for what
we're talking about if we're not working.


I'm pregnant, due about Halloween, and the decision to have another baby was
not related to the economy or Digital's health.  Economics was involved in the
discussion, but more generally, like can we afford another college education,
not what if I'm layed off next week.  We feel these economic times will pass
eventually, and having children is more of a lifetime decision, not a current
situation decision. (Altho clearly one has to decide if one is capable of
handling a baby at this point in one's life.  But you know what I mean by
"current situation").

I take it "TFSO" is being layed-off? (What does that stand for?)  I feel both
more at risk and less at risk.  I feel more at risk, because if I'm out on leave
they will be better able to assess whether they can function without me.  I 
feel less at risk, because I have good performance reviews (altho that may 
not matter) and I think Personnel will look twice at letting go people on 
maternity leave (so to speak) as that may look discriminatory.  I have a
good manager, and I believe I will be treated fairly.

I want to come back at 30 hrs/week instead of 40, and right now it looks ok, 
but that may change by December, when my leave will be over.  I think I 
would be more worried if I wanted parental leave too.

Note that this is my second child, and so my manager has a good idea how well
I can manage motherhood and career together.  If it were my first child, I would
probably worry more about how to manage both at once, as it is a challenging
task in good times.  These are not easy times anywhere in New England, and 
at Digital especially.

One conclusion I have come to - if I am layed off this month, I will be out
of work at least a year.  I figure it will be January before I will have things
under control at home (sleeping, etc), so I could do an effective interview,
not to mention it being the slump season, and then in my field it's taking 
about 6 months to get a job.  So that puts it about in July at the earliest.  
I have planned what to do with that year, should this occur.


But, I have a lot of hope Digital (and I) can ride this out.

Good luck on whatever it is you're trying to figure out.

Pat

    We are definitely more cautious about spending.  We still
    take vacations but try not to eat-out as often.  Our investment
    strategy has also changed from aggressive to conservative. 
    My husband doesn't work for Digital and his job is not in any danger.  
    Although it will definitely lower our living standard, but we can
    still manage with one income.   The economic climate also affect
    us emotionally.  I have many friends that were laid-off in the last
    12 months.  Many of them have since left New England.  We feel
    lonely and really miss the good old days.
    
    Wendy

	The state of the company has made us rewrite our mortgage from an 
adjustable rate to a fixed (and lower ;^)) rate.  Basically, the idea behind 
this is to have a fixed cost for the next n years, and with the lower rate, we
can better afford a crisis if another one strikes.  

	When TFSO was introduced to my organization, I was 4 months pregnant 
with my first.  My husband was out of work for 2 years with an injury, and 
had just learned that he could not return to his trade as an industrial 
electrician due to the disability.  

	Then, our baby came 3 1/2 months early and my maternity leave was up 
before she had been discharged from the hospital.  I *had* to take 
additional time off until she was stabilized and did not require as much 
medical attention.  I say I "had" to take the time, not because my husband was 
not able, but I felt she needed me more than Digital.  I took five additional
months without pay to be with her.

	Talk about stress!  I guess we were lucky, as the stress brought us 
closer together as a team than anything we had been through before.  It also 
brought to light one very important lesson:  Money does not buy happiness, 
health, or anything as important as our family.  We met many families who were
in worse financial shape than us with very sick kids during our months at a 
"Ronald McDonald-type house" -- put everything in perspective real quick.

	Having lived through a couple of very tough years, we are prepared 
with contingencies and savings.  We never discussed that stuff before. But the 
biggest lesson we learned was not to worry about things you have no control 
over like the economy.
    
-beth
-Beth
        
    

    TFSO = Thanks for Shoving Off :^)
    
    I think it means "Transition Financial Support Option."
    
    We've made a conscious effort to save regularly, so that we have some
    cushion in the bank in the event either of us lose our jobs.  If Mike's
    business goes down the drain, we'll be out a good chunk of money, but
    since I'm the one who carries the medical insurance, things will be
    very tight, but we won't go under completely.  We won't, however, lose
    our house, which is the thing I'm most concerned with.
    
    The decision to have children is such a complex one that it really
    doesn't help to decide on "when is the best time."  Face it, there
    will always be another bill to pay, another car to buy/repair, another
    home improvement to make.  We found ourselves choosing a "least bad"
    time, figuring that if we waited for "the best" time we'd wind up
    waiting forever.  I do believe that if you're feeling stressed out
    already, starting a pregnancy may not be in anyone's best interests,
    least of all yours!  On the other hand, the joy of anticipating a
    much-wanted child can be real source of hope and happiness.  Only you
    can decide.  There are as many reasons to have a child as there are
    not to have one.  We just figured that, if you were going to prioritize
    the list, external economic factors would be near the bottom.
    
    May you find the answers you're looking for!
    
    In thought,
    Kate

    My wife was TFSOd from DEC April of 91. We used her severance to pay
    off all our debts (except the mortgage). She's been working through temp
    agencies since and we've been saving as much of her pay as we can. We'd
    like for her to be a full-time Mom (baby is due on Christmas day). The 
    severance gave us the opportunity to do just that. However, my group is 
    due to be hit with layoffs next Monday. If I get hit, we lose our medical 
    benefits. 
    
    In retrospect, I'm not at all sorry we decided to get pregnant now.
    Even if I am laid off, there are more important things in life to worry
    about and a baby is very important to us right now. A friend just told
    me about someone she knows who's currently fighting for her life after
    a bone marrow transplant. Sort of puts things in perspective. I have
    faith that God will provide. After all, He made it possible for us to
    get pregnant, I doubt He'll abandon us in our greatest time of need.
    
    Mike

    This is sure apropos.  Some thoughts:
    
    My great-grandmother said, "Every baby arrives with his own loaf of
    bread."  So, somehow we will manage.
    
    During the Depression, many people had much smaller families.  So, here
    we are again.
    
    This is particularly stressful for me because I am 41 and if I don't
    have another child soon, time will run out.  I figure at most another 2
    years.  Even if I don't have menopause for another 10 years, I am
    concerned about the rising likelihood of Down's syndrome, and I will
    also no longer desire to raise another baby.
    
    My husband lost his job several years ago and has been slowly building
    an electical contracting business.  I bring in the insurance benefits. 
    Without my salary and benefits, we'd be in deep water fast. 
    Fortunately, I am not likely to get the tap.  But the economy has
    already added a lot of stress to our relationship.  That is another
    consideration in having a second child.
    
    Overall, I'd like a second child but with considerable trepidation.  An
    important consideration is that I want Ilona to have a sibling;  We
    don't have any family nearby.  I'd also feel ok if we don't have
    another child.  You just get on with life the best you can.
    
    L

I hope that this is an appropriate place for this question...if not, mods
please move:


We've had friends that are giving birth toward the end of this year (Oct., Nov.,
one due in Dec.) and all have questioned if they are eligible for the
full deduction on their 1993 taxes.  For example, if a baby was born on 
Dec. 31st, could one take the full standard deduction for the entire year, or
is there some formula that determines the amount of the deduction based on
the birthdate?


Hamp 

    The way I understand it, you take the full deduction for the year of
    the birth....
    
    
    From a mom who's child was born 6 hours too late for a 1990 deduction!
    
    1/1/91 6:28 am

    I think you mean the exemption for the child.  Standard deductions
    relate to your filing status, not your dependents, unless of course
    it qualifies someone as "head of household".

    An exemption for a person can be taken as long as they are "alive"
    in the filing year.  Not to go down a rathole, it means if the child
    was born between Jan. 1 and Dec. 31. In the case of someone who passes 
    away, they are allowed an exemption in the year of their death.  It 
    is not apportioned to the days alive etc., you simply get one exemption.

    I happen to have my son at 2:30 AM Jan. 1.  No exemption, missed the 
    school cut-off and got hit with two deductibles.  All of which really 
    doesn't matter, as he is a great kid, and it shows poor planning on 
    my part ;-)

    Tracy

Thanks for the info.

Hamp

    
    We almost nicknamed Sophie "TEddy", short for TD, short for Tax
    Deduction.
    
    She was born at 6:40 AM December 31st, 1989.

you either get the deduction in the 1st year or the 18th year....and I'd bet
money that taxes will be higher 18 years from now, so the deduction will be
more helpful then.....my daughters were born in January and February.

michael

    A related comment..... I'm due Jan. 3.  I've had at least 20 people
    say to me, "You should try to have the baby 4 days early and get the
    tax break."  This comment is really beginning to annoy me.  I know it's
    meant to be humorous, but I guess, being in my 9th uncomfortable month,
    my sense of humor is starting to go.  
    
    Jane

    Jane, hope you have the baby ANYTIME! My parents know how you
    feel about having a baby right around new years though, since i
    was due Dec 31st; but arrived on the 4th of January - making it
    not only a non-tax event, but screwing up my chances of entering
    kindergarten for the previous year, since at that time, the 
    cut of date for entrance was Dec 31st. My mother was quite 
    aggressive in her efforts to convince them of my abilities to
    enter kindergarten with the other children born the previous fall - 
    they'd have none of it and made us wait until the next year.
    
    I think she's still annoyed, 30 years later!
    
    Monica
    

    
    Apparently it's quite common to have a lots of inductions right before
    the end of the year ........ 
    
    Have a happy delivery - WHENever it happens!
    JAmd

    
    Caity was born at 11:30 pm on Dec. 31st and we were able to deduct her
    for the full year!  

    AJ was born on Jan 2 (1987), and I couldn't begin to tell you how many
    annoying comments I've heard about "gee that's too bad, you *just*
    missed a tax deduction.  C'mon guys give me a break, after all he was
    born *9 weeks* early!  He was supposed to be a St. Patrick's day
    Shamrock!  All I know is that we were living with my inlaws, we had
    "pooled" our Christmas ornaments on their tree that year, and by the
    time I got home, the tree was down, and to this day we haven't yet
    separated out our ornaments from theirs!  But oh well, small price to
    pay for a healthy baby!
    
    Lyn

re. 17....and just think, in the year 2005...you get a whole year worth of
deduction, for just being 18 for 2 days....it'll probally be worth more too!

;-)  mtb