Conference moira::parenting

    
    My sister in law explained it to her daughter with the use of a book. I
    beleive the name of it is "where did i come from"  it has good pictures
    and big print so toddlers can easily understand.  I was told that there
    are also video's that you can rent at Blockbuster or other video stores.
    Not the same title as the book but similar. Good luck whatever method
    you choose.
    
    Sandy

    
    I only have one child, but my neighbor has custody of her neice and
    nephew and I'm always over there. They were always asking me when the
    baby was going to some and I would tell them when it was ready. They
    asked my how I would know when the baby was ready and I told them that
    the baby would start pushing on me from the inside to let me know it
    was ready to come out. They asked me how the baby got out and I told
    them there was special place for the baby to come out. Luckily at that
    point they stopped asking questions so I didn't have to explain the
    "special place".
    
    Patty

    Follow your child's lead in terms of providing information - they'll
    ask for far less than you think!  My son was 3 last year when his
    brother was born, and Ryan did ask how the baby would come out of my
    tummy. I reminded him that women are different from men (we'd had the
    discussion  about penises before that), and explained that the baby
    would come out through a hole called the vagina. That was more than
    enough to satisfy his curiosity.
    
    

   I had a friend who was pregnant a few years back and she had a son who
 was about 3 at the time.  Her son wanted to go with her to one of her
 doctor visits so he could see the baby.  He thought that the doctor would
 take the baby out of mommy and examine it, then put it back inside.  I thought
 that was soooo funny at the time....

  Lisa    
    

    When I was due to have Krystin, Alyssa was almost 3 years old.  She
    only asked me:
    
    1.  Where's the baby?
        a:  In my tummy.
    2.  How does it come out?
    	a:  The doctor gets it.
    
    Those two answers seemed to pacify her for another year.  But now that
    she plays with all the kids on our playground, of course the questions
    are resurfacing.  The other day she came running in the house and asked
    me:  "Mommy, Cierra said the she came out of her mommy's "cooley"
    (which is what she calls a vagina).  How come I came out of your
    belly?"
    
    So I had to explain that sometimes mommy's have problems and it can't
    come out of their "cooley" and that the doctor has to cut your tummy
    and take the baby out.  She knows that I had a C-Section and she has
    seen the scars, etc.  She doesn't think it hurts because by the time
    she saw the scar, it was all healed.
    
    I noticed that if you explain in short, easy-to-understand answers,
    they seem to be satisfied with that answer until later.  And hopefully
    that "later" will be in a few years.
    
    Alyssa is now 4.5 and wanted to know how the baby got there.  I didn't
    think it was an appropriate age to be telling her, so I said, "When you
    get bigger, mommy will explain everything.  It's nothing you have to
    worry about right now."  She seemed to like that answer.  
    
    

    Steven, who was 5 at the time, asked the same question when I was
    pregnant with David (How did the baby get in your tummy?) 
    
    I just said that Mom and Dad put it there.  That satisfied him. 
    
    --bonnie

    My daughter was 2 years 8 months when her sister was born.  She asked the
    "How does the baby get out?" question.  I used essentially the same
    matter-of-fact explanation as .3.  It apparently satisfied her curiosity. 
    
    My Ob-Gyn also made a point of talking to me about addressing
    Elizabeth's anxieties around the birth process.  She said children of
    that age often have negative fantasies around what's involved in birth,
    including "exploding moms", etc.  My doctor felt that an honest,
    straight-forward approach (without overloading the child with info)
    was a necessary part of Elizabeth's prenatal preparation...even if
    she didn't ask.
    
    Good luck,
    LZP
     

Thanks for all the responses.  So far, we've handled all the questions as 
straight-forward and honest as we can without overloading him.  Cory's a great
one for asking questions (aren't they all at this age 8-) ) so I'm sure he will
continue if anything else arouses his curiousity.

He's also asked to go with me to my next doctor's appointment.  So, we've 
circled the day on the calendar and he seems to be looking forward to it.

I'll also check the library for the book mentioned.


Thanks again,
- Terry

    Gee, James never asked the "how does it get out" question, but
    one morning when Holly was taking up ALL of my time he said,
    "She used to live in your tummy so can't she go back there?"

    Check with the hospital where you plan to deliver and see if they offer
    a "big brother/sister class" for older siblings.  The hospital where I
    delivered my first and second son(s) did have such a class which we
    took the older son to.  We also took our older son to the hospital
    to see where Mommy would be.  He was going through blood
    testing/surgery for tonsils during the end of my pregnancy and
    "hospital = pain" to him.
    
    He felt much better after we went to a hospital to visit on a
    non-emergency basis.  He still was tense when we went but he talked a
    lot about it after the visit and seemed satisfied.  
    
    Alex was 3 years and 7 months old when Baby Noah was born.
    
    Kathy