Conference moira::parenting

    
    Schedules that worked for us;  my wife and I worked different shifts.
    This was great for us.  One of us worked 1st and the other 2nd.  At
    most we needed maybe an hour of babysitting in the afternoon.  The kids
    always had a parent around and we saved a BUNDLE on daycare.
    
    Chris D. not_sure_if_that's_what_you_were_looking_for_here.

    I'd love to do what .1 describes, but neither of our jobs are amenable
    to shift changes.
    
    As for daily survival techniques..... one night a week my husband and I
    get Healthy Choice frozen dinners and the kids get McDonalds - just
    helps to have one night of no frantic rush to get dinner on and then
    deal with tons of dishes.
    
    Also, I have a 15 yr old neighbor clean my house once a week - just the
    basics - she's reliable, less expensive than a cleaning service, and it
    helps me tremendously!
    

    A lot of nights I'm too tired to floss my teeth before bed, so I now
    floss while attending my daughter (1.5 years) in the bathtub.  As a
    side benefit, she is learning how to floss!  This kid will be a real
    pro by the time she first sees the dentist.  I also do a thorough 
    toothbrush (on myself) while she's bathing.

    	One of the things that I do (which originally resulted because I
    couldn't stand the taste myself) is make up my own babyfood.

    	Usually on Sundays, I either use canned food (vegetables or fruit
    without sugar) and grind them up  or if I have more time I cook up
    vegetables and then grind them up. Then I put the food into ice cube
    trays and freeze them. All of the cubes then go into freezer bags.

    	Makes meal time a snap when you just grab a few cubes, nuke 'em and
    mix the cereal.

    	Not only is this faster (and saves on recyling trips from returning
    all of those blasted baby food bottles) but it is incredible cheaper
    then buying the prepackaged stuff.

    	The only drawback is that people assume you are a granola-head.

    			so be it.

    			Wendy

    
    	Another thing that we do is double up on bathtime,
    
    	Typically Spencer takes a shower with Dad or Mom (although the last
    shower was a bit much and scared him some). If he does not not shower
    with us, he takes a bath right after our showers and almost always in
    the morning. Total time is usually around 5 minutes.
    
    	Longer "fun-time baths" are reserved for the weekend.
    
    			Wendy

    
    re .4                        <<< Note 80.4 by SUPER::WTHOMAS >>>
                           -< make our own babyfood >-
    
    I did it too. My pedi recommended it. The other benefit is that it's
    easy to grind a little less as they get older so that the transition 
    from babyfood to more adult food can be easier. My husband got me a 
    black&decker mini-chopper to use for it - takes up a lot less room
    in the dishwasher than my big old cuisinart. 
    
    The best suggestion I received was when I was going nuts because my
    then 7-month old son would scream because I couldn't feed him fast 
    enough. He couldn't wait for the 15 seconds of nuking time. This on
    top of a stressful workday, of course. My friend, bless her, suggested 
    that I let him feed himself. (He was already doing well with Cheerios).
    So I did. What a relief!!!! He even ate food (ground-up chicken) that
    he wouldn't touch if I gave it to him. 
    

    
    Well, my kids are starting to get older.  As a result, I'm blessed with
    having help with laundry, dishes and all that stuff.  However, on the
    other side of the scale, they're more involved with activities.  So,
    instead of spending time coloring and reading books to them, I'm
    driving them to ball games and dance lessons.
    
    Time saver:  drive faster...no, just kidding.  Actually, what I've done
    		 is cut my hours here to 30 hours per week/6 hours per day.
    		 I don't really miss the money that much, I'm no longer 
    	         paying for daycare and it allows me some time to get home 
    		 and make dinner before I have to drive someone somewhere.
    
    
    jean
    

    Here's a few that we do:
    
    1.  While we are waiting for the water to boil, or in between turning
    the chicken, etc. we do the dishes.  I lay out all 4 plates on the
    kitchen counter.  Then I start to fill up their plates with food.  As I
    empty the pans/pots, I wash them out and put them in the dishdrainer. 
    It seems to take less time doing the dishes that way then waiting until
    dinner is over to do them all.
    
    2.  I fill the tub up with water.  I place both kids in the tub.  I
    wash Krystin's (20months) hair and body while Alyssa (4years) is
    washing her body up.  I then rinse Krystin and then wash Alyssa's hair. 
    When the washing is done, I let them sit in the tub and play while I
    take my contacts out, take my makeup off, wash-up (face, teeth, etc.).
    Once that is done, I sweep the bathroom floor, wash the mirror, wash
    the sink/counter, scrub the toilet, wash the bathroom floor.  By the
    time I'm done washing my bathroom, the kids are nice and pruned up and
    waiting to get out of the tub.  My bathroom is clean and I washed the
    tub/shower when I'm in there taking a shower.  It saves on time I
    think.  It's better than sitting there playing with the kids, when they
    don't really want you to play with them.  They have more fun with each
    other than with me or my husband.
    
    3.  My kids love vacuum cleaner rides.  I combine cleaning and playing
    by letting them ride on the vacuum cleaner while I'm using it.
    
    4.  My kids love to dust/windex.  While I'm dusting the entertainment
    center, Alyssa takes the windex and tries her hardest to wash the
    sliding glass door.  She usually gets it done pretty good.  
    
    5.  Save on grocery shopping by leaving the kids at home with the other
    parent.  We've tried everything.  I used to go shopping with the whole
    family, but I noticed that we were in that store for more than an hour
    everytime!  Now I go one week without the kids and the next week is my
    husbands turn.
    
    My time-savers seem a little silly, but it works for me.  And
    after-all, isn't that what really counts!
    
    Gail 

    Hi...I don't mean to brag...but.....In the Southern States Region they
    (DEC) are piloting a new program to allow some employees to work at
    home if their job permits.  I am a project specialist and work closely
    with customers over the phone.  Since the first of March I have been
    working three days a week at home.  It has greatly improved our home
    life.  At 4:00pm I take a ten minute break and start dinner.  So by
    5:00 when my hubby and children arrive home, dinner is ready.  
    Maybe this is something that some of you should tuck away in the back
    of your memory.  The project name is HOME.  If you want to talk about
    it off line, give me a call.
    
    The people who are driving this project say that this is going to be
    the way of the future at Digital.  I hope so.  It seems that I have
    become more productive in my job.  Not very many interuptions.  My
    children still go to their day cares and I remain at home.  It has
    really made me work harder to keep my job.  And I have even take on
    some other responsibilities.
    
    Lillian

    Take out one night a week -- usually Friday -- helps save my sanity
    and that of my husband & kids.
    
    I do laundry every other day or so, so that I'm always on top of
    it.  Never mind that it's usually in the basket, waiting to be
    folded....it's clean, ain't it?
    
    My sitter feeds Holly (10 mos.) in the morning.  We give her a bottle
    and some Cheerios or Kix to tide her over, then she eats at day care.
    
    James is pretty self-sufficient for a 4-year-old.  He's not much of a
    morning person, so if he has toast with peanut butter and jelly and
    juice or milk for "breakfast," I figure he's off to a halfway decent
    start.  He often eats later at Elaine's.
    
    Lay out clothes the night before -- yours and the kids.  Have an
    emergency stash of pantyhose.  
    
    I cook decent meals on Saturday & Sunday (weather permitting, a roast,
    some stew, perhaps grill extra chicken), then we have leftovers Monday
    and Tuesday and I don't have to worry about dinner till Wednesday.
    Buy salads at the salad bar at the supermarket.  This sounds expensive,
    but to me, there's nothing more expensive than throwing out good food
    that nobody cooked.  (Since Mike & I are the only ones who eat salads
    in our house, it doesn't really cost very much to do this.)
    
    Put the kids to bed at a decent hour! :-)
    
    No one ever died from eating soup and sandwiches for dinner.
    
    I also make sure that the house is picked up before I go to bed at
    night.  Before I leave for work, the breakfast dishes are in the
    dishwasher.  
    
    Basically, I've found that the biggest time-saver for me is trying to
    keep on top  of things (as best I can), and letting my standards slide
    a bit (not that they were that high to begin with :-).  
    
    If you have a spouse/SO, s/he can pitch in, too....no need to do
    everything by yourself!!
    
    And working at home is absolutely the greateset thing since sliced
    bread!  I swear, I get twice as much accomplished.  Now if I could only
    have a printer and a fax machine there I'd be all set! :-)

    In our household our major surviving technique is teamwork between my
    husband and I. There are some things that he does and somethings I do.
    He always does the laundry (once a week) unless he is out of town
    (rarely) or has to work thru the weekend. We eat out once a week -
    usually Pizza since that is my 3 year old's favorite. We alternate
    cooking so that one of us cooks once in 2 days and if we have left
    overs we do not have to cook too much the next day. Cooking ahead like
    on a Sunday and freezing did not work for us.
    
    In the mornings, while I get our daughter ready for daycare, Sandeep
    gets our breakfast ready and partially packs her lunchbox. After we
    come downstairs I put the finishing touches on her lunchbox and pack
    our lunch which Sandeep has already put out on the kitchen counter.
    While I get everything packed Sandeep makes sure that Avanti has had
    her breakfast, then we have ours and get ready to leave. We do not eat
    big breakfasts- usually just milk since Avanti eats at daycare. One of
    us drops her at daycare and the other one picks her up. This way each
    one gets to spend optimal time at work.
    
    In the evening, while one of us cooks, the other spends time with
    Avanti. She eats dinner by 7:15pm and then we eat dinner. Then we all
    spend time together until Avanti's bedtime - usually 9:15 - 9:30pm.
    
    We have gotten so used to the schedule that it is almost mechanical.
    
    Neither of us works late at work unless absolutely necessary. We keep
    our evening schedule and resume work after Avanti is in bed. That way
    we do not disrupt our daily routine. Since we live only 3 miles from
    work, going in to work after 9pm is no big deal - Sandeep has done that
    many times.
    
    Shaila

    re .11 - Shaila, aren't you due soon with #2? Your schedule sounded
    familiar to how mine used to be.... I found that the second child
    really added expotentially to our time schedule.
    

    My lifesaving 'survival' technique was a creative work schedule.
    For the last year, I've been starting work at 9:00am instead of
    the typical 8/8:15.  I make up the lost hours on Wednesday nights
    by working 'til 10:30pm.  I *LOVE* this arrangement!
    
    It helps to be a night owl, but I get more done on Weds nights 
    usually, than all week. No phone calls, no interruptions.
    
    Mornings are relaxed and much less stressful knowing that I can
    get the kids (2) ready for school without having to compromise
    my 'beauty' time.  
    
    Other things that my husband and I have arranged are personal
    nights. Nights to do what we want. Monday evening is my time to
    go to a movie with a friend, go to the library or clean my closets
    uninterrupted.  Tuesdays, my husband plays tennis.  Wednesday,
    hubby takes the kids out to dinner while I work late. Thursdays
    is "family night". Friday-Sunday we bond with our neighbors,
    having bar-b-ques, take-out dinners, jacuzzi time.  All of our
    neighbors genuinely enjoy our kids. We have great "extended family".
    
    Having developed this "bond" as it were, with our neighbors, has really
    gone a long way to relieving the stresses of parenthood.  Knowing that
    they welcome the kids is very comforting.
    
    Jodi-
    

    re: .12
    
    Yes, I am due with #2 in just about 4 weeks. You are right, with 2 
    there is going to be a need for readjustment. But I am lucky to get
    help from my in-laws who are flying in next week (from India) and will
    be with us for about 6 months. That should make is easier for us. After
    that we will have to do some major readjusting. 
    
    
    Shaila

    
    I am not saying this will work for everybody, but....  I do my makeup
    in the morning while I am stopped at the traffic lights.  
    

    Re: .15
    
    I always wondered who those people were who were brave and organized
    enough to do things like that. I see a man who shaves in the car
    every morning while we're stopped in traffic. 
    
    My survival tip I found in this conference years ago: put your child
    in sweats or whatever at night so you don't have to fight in the
    morning over clothes.
    
    Elizabeth

    I never thought of people shaving in the car as brave and
    organized. I always thought they were so disorganized they
    couldn't catch up.  Not to mention a hazard to others.  I guess if
    you wait until you're stopped it's safe enough -- but if I figured
    on being stopped in traffic, I would never again hit a red light!
    
    To survive three kids, we cut back rather than doubling up on
    tasks.  We were going crazy enough trying to get everything done. 
    Trying to do two things at once would burn us out real fast.  
    
    Our rule of priortization is, if it's not going to cause one of us
    to go crazy, or violate laws of health and sanitation, it drops
    off the list.   Never mind what either of our mothers would think.
    (This is where I say that the first thing to go was the nightly
    bath.  The boys get bathed whenever they're dirty -- no less than
    twice a week, but no oftener either if they haven't been out
    getting sweaty or dirty.)
    
    We went to a slightly split shift -- we get up at 5:30 and Neil
    goes straight in to work.  I get the kids up and off to school and 
    take David to the sitter.  (I "divide and conquer": I don't get
    David up until after Steven leaves for the bus.) My route takes me
    through downtown and this is when I do errands like drycleaning,
    gassing the car, etc.  You'd be surprised at the number of
    businesses you can find that are open by 7 or 8 a.m.  I get to
    work at about 9.  
    
    By 3p.m. Neil has put in his 8-hour day and he goes home in time
    to meet Steven's bus.  Then he picks up David, goes home, and
    plays the piano.  He'll also do whatever shopping needs done --
    groceries on Monday, other usually on Thursday.  Common wisdom
    says leave the kids home; we've found that having everybody go not
    only teaches the kids how to shop, it also becomes a family event
    rather than a dreaded chore.  
    
    Neil cooks supper, and it's usually just about ready when I get
    home at 6 or so.  Cleanup is officially Kat's job, but she often
    has dance in the evenings so we all pitch in, even David.  I admit
    things have become a lot less hectic since Kat got old enough to
    drive herself to dance!  If you have to get kids to lessons etc.
    see if you can strike a deal with another parent that you'll take
    both kids to the class if the other person will bring them both
    home afterwards.  
    
    We make lunches the night before.  (Buying school lunches can be a
    major timesaver.)  We avoid morning what-to-wear fights by the
    freedom of choice philosophy -- If Steven wants to wear a
    sweatshirt on a day it's predicted to be 95, he's the one who's
    going to roast.  He only did it once. 
    
    Neil cleans the bathroom while David's having his Sunday bath. 
    This is when I mop the kitchen floor.  Laundry gets done Sunday
    morning.  Vacuuming and other household cleaning gets done on
    Saturday morning.  I do the heavy-duty cleaning chores, like
    scrubbing down the stove, on an as-needed, time-available basis. 
    
    I think one of the advantages we have is that we live in Nashua,
    both work in ZK, and only have a 20-minute commute.  So we get an
    extra 80 minutes each day compared to somebody who has to drive
    for an hour.  If you can do something to shorten your commute,
    I'd recommend it.  
    
    A neighbor of mine switched from driving herself to joining a
    vanpool.  At first it was kind of hard for her living on someone
    else's schedule, but after the initial adjustment she started
    using the time to catch up on her reading and now she gets upset
    on the rare occasions when she *does* have to drive herself. 
    
    --bonnie
    

    re a couple back, I don't try to do makeup at traffic lights.  Rather I
    do it in the ladies room when I get to work.  This past week I've also
    given both my hair dryer and hair a break.  I've been moussing it while
    damp, the spritzing it with spray and sort of fluffing it.  By the time
    I get to work it's dry and ready to be "picked" with  a plastic pick. I
    can't really brag, yes it's very curly.  But I'm one of those who
    really wished I didn't have that much curl!
    
    I also make at least the sandwich(s) the night before and put in the
    fridge.  In the morning I only have to grab pre packed chips (cheetos
    or whatever) a piece of fruit, and prepacked cookie of some kind (the
    peanut butter on malt or cheese crakers) or the night before I'll drop
    a handful of grammy bears in a ziplok sandwich bag and plop it ontop of
    the sandwich in the fridge.  We occationally will send individual
    spagettios with franks or meatbals, just grab off the shelf and run.
    
    I make the coffee and set the timer the night before after dinner, that
    way if I wake up smelling coffee it's a clue I'm running a little late. 
    It also helps should the clock radio not go off for some reason.
    
    Kids are definitely an excerise in time management.
    
    Lyn
    

    To help with grocery shopping, I do the following:
    
    Inside the kitchen cabinet door, I taped up a master list of all the
    common foods and household items which we always keep on hand.  There
    are about 60 items, I think.  
    
    Before shopping, I take a junkmail envelope (carefully opened on the
    long side) and write categories:  dairy, meat/deli, misc food, misc.
    nonfood, produce, frozen.  Under each category I write items we need,
    checking my storage against the master list.
    
    Finally I add items I need for particular recipes or meals, including
    meat or fish, other ingredients, and things we have a hankering for,
    such as a box of cookies.
    
    This way our larders are always stocked, it is fast to make the list,
    and the list is clear enough for either my husband or I to use it.
    
    For quick meals I keep a few frozen entrees, hot dogs and beans, and
    hearty canned soups.  
    
    L

RE> -1

I don't know if you already do this with your envelope, but my wife has a
very similar plan with the grocery list, she uses the envelope that she has
her list on to hold her valuable;*) coupons.  For some reason she lives for 
the Sunday paper and coupon cutting;*)

Steve

    RE -1
    
    Ahh, so THAT's the info I forgot.  Right.  The coupons.  If we're lucky
    we save enough to cover the cost of the Sunday paper from which we
    clipped them. -;)  Buy 1 or 2 vending-machine snacks, and it's all
    wiped out. But I get to feel virtuous. -;)

    Thank God my wife can food shop!  Granted her job is housewife.  But
    even without the Sunday paper she saves at least 10 bucks a week on a ~$90
    bill and we eat very good foods with minimal snacks.  I don't know how
    she does it being that before I met her it would take me 2 - 3 hours in
    the grocery store myself and I'd usually get the same thing everytime.
    
    The one thing that I _did_ used to do that saved a whole lot of time
    for myself, and hopefully someone else can benefit from this, is to map
    out the store of what they keep and where it is for the stuff I'd
    usually get.  
    
    But I knew I had married _her_ for some reason!  :-)  :-)
    If I go with her it only slows her down.  She takes under an hour
    and we end up stocking all available shelves ever week.  Again I don't
    know how she does it!
    
    Steve

    RE:-1
    I am not too sure my husband brags about me in the manner you do!  But,
    I must say, I think I am a pretty good shopper too!  My action plan is
    to write the list according to the store layout..works pretty
    good except when the store remodels yuck!!

    
    I do the same thing when writing out a list for the grocery store.
    I know the layout of the store, and I just imagine each aisle as I go
    along thinking about what I need.  It works best when I need to ask
    Hubby to go for me (on a rare occasion)....
    
    Chris
    

    I always read the stores weekly ad before I go so that I know what is
    on sale and I can have my coupons ready (I also use a recycled envelope
    for my list and coupons.) 
    
    Angie

    My parents took the "mapping out the store" one step further.  They
    made a list (which included all the regular things they bought in the
    order that they were found in the store) and kept lots of photo-copies 
    of it.  Each week my mom would circle the particular things we
    needed that week, and my dad would go and do the shopping.  They had to
    rewrite the list when the store moved things around, but that didn't
    happen too often.
    
                                                     Tracy

    RE: -1 
    
    That's a really good idea!
    
    Steve

    We have learned a valuable lesson after the birth of our second son,
    Noah.  There are now two kids and two adults, so we share daily chores. 
    It works on a weekly basis; i.e., this week I am in charge of cooking
    meals, bathing/bed for the four year old (Alex).  My husband is in
    charge of Noah (a bigger task), cleaning up after dinner, and making
    lunches for the next day.  This works well for us... he can feed/bathe
    Noah while I cook dinner and Alex plays outside.  Then Noah goes to bed
    and he can clean/make lunches while I bathe Alex and get him in bed. 
    That way we don't tend to crowd each other or feel overwhelmed in our
    tiny kitchen.
    
    Some evenings are a total loss nonetheless... then we buy lunch the
    next day!  
    
    We swap Alex/Noah and dinner/dishes every other week.  It has been
    working since I started back to work in July.
    
    Phil also helps with one son or the other every morning before he goes
    to work.  Usually he wakes up our four year old, helps him get dressed
    and feeds him breakfast while I am getting ready for work.  When I'm
    ready I wake up the four month old, change and dress him, and off we go
    to day care.  Sometimes Baby Noah is awake before I'm ready but I try
    to go with the flow!
    
    It is great for me not to have to make lunches, prepare formula, bathe
    kid(s), cook dinner, etc., all by myself.  I did that when I was home
    on parental leave (Noah's first three months).  It definitely took some
    adjusting when I returned to work but it is working so far!
    
    We also make up a dinner menu for a month at a time and post it on the
    refrigerator.  It makes it easier for both cooks... No more, "I didn't
    know what to fix"!  When it is my turn to cook for the week I do the
    food shopping (and vice versa).  Then you also know if you have what
    you need to cook, no unpleasant surprises right before meal time.  We
    used to "family shop" for groceries but it takes too long with two kids
    in tow.  Now when you cook, you shop.  I love it and Phil has adjusted.
    
    We are both doing things MUCH DIFFERENT than our parents did.  My
    Dad always worked two jobs when we were growing up so my Mom did
    everything (even when she had a job too).  Phil's Mom didn't work outside
    of the home and she likewise did all the household duties.
    
    Times have changed, haven't they?  ;-)
    
    Kathy
    
                                                      

    
    This is a little different twist than the previous notes but
    the title is appropriate.
    
    Anyone got any techniques they used in getting a SQUIRMY, SCREAMY
    9 month old diapered and dressed?  As well as wiping their mouths
    or teeth with a cloth?
    
    I am exhausted when I am through and their just has to be an easier
    way....
    
    thanks, Kristen

    
    
    My son used to hate to get his diapers changed.  He would squirm, twist
    and cry.  I gave him a toy to hold which worked for a little
    while.  Then I gave him a bottle to suck on which also worked.  
    
    He is being weaned now.  So, I usually put on a music video and that
    distracts him sometimes.  But he doesn't fight it as much anymore.
    
    One interesting thing is that if my husband says, "Matthew, stop
    it", then he stays still and also cries.  And when he is done with 
    the diaper change, he goes over and hugs his daddy.  He doesn't even
    have to raise his voice!  
    
    Eunhwa
     

    I used to give Ilona a container of baby powder or a tube of ointment
    and say, "You hold onto this.  It is very important.  Don't let it
    drop.  You're in charge of it while I change your diaper."
    
    Sometimes I gave her a book to read.  Looked real funny - this 12 month
    old child reading a picture book while her diaper was changed. :-)
    
    Now she's two and much too old and sophisticated for such tricks. ;-)
    
    L
    

    Lindsay (my nine month) likes the picture over her changing table...she 
    is standing by the time i have her old one off and clean her...I put
    the new one on while she is STANDING admiring her picture.  I got away 
    with cleaning her teeth for the first time today...Paul couldn't do it
    I said look this has to be done and your'e going to have to deal with
    it.....She let me....we'll see if that happens again!
    
    

                  
    Boy! Can I relate to this one!!!  We've been going through this one
    for MONTHS! (Don't mean to scare you...but...)
    
    Michael started the same behavior at about 9 mos old also, trying
    to turn over, kicking and screaming, etc while trying to change his
    diaper, But mainly when trying to get him dressed. For the longest time 
    I would trade chores with my husband if HE would change him! I'd spend 
    30 mins unloading/loading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen if
    he would just change Michaels diaper and put his Pj's on (a job that
    should realistically only take 10 mins)...  I just couldn't deal with
    the struggle! It got me so worked up. My husband for awhile would chase
    him all over the room with his clothes to get them on...and I just
    couldn't bring myself to have to do this. 
    
    I must say he has improved a bit now, at 12 mos, but its still not a
    piece of cake.
    
    Things we have tried, or do now:  Give him a "shoe" from under the
    changing table (we keep them there).... He plays with the shoelaces, 
    etc...  I put a basket of sm stuffed animals nearby and try to make a
    big deal out of giving him one of them to get his
    attention...(sometimes we go through the whole basket to just get his
    Pj's on!)  and more than anything THE MOST PATIENCE AND STRENGTH YOU
    HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Seriously! Somedays it takes all my strength to hold him down, while
    trying to pull a messy diaper out from under him and put the new one on
    while he tries over and over to flip over to his belly!! When I say
    strength, I think I mean, "enough strength to hold him down, and enough 
    to hold back from not hurting him"...  if that makes sense. Somedays
    you just have to stand firm and say "I am the parent, I am bigger than
    you, and I will win...so just relax and this will go smoothly"!
    
    No, really...I don't think there is any real way to stop this behavior, 
    I think you just have to improvise and find as many things to distract
    them as you can. It certainly is not fun.  
    
    Good Luck,
    I'll be watching this topis for ideas myself!
    
    Chris
    
                  

    Thanks for the tips....I've tried giving him everything imaginable
    and it works for about 15 seconds....he just hates to sit still!
    
    I'll have to try that diaper thing while he stands....he's walking
    now (not a lot but tries realy hard) and wants to stand all the time.
    
    The only time it seems to go easy is when he's not feeling well....
    that's one way I can tell he's sick.....
    
    I wonder if they make restraining straps for changing tables ...8*)
    
    One thing though, I found a finger toothbrush that he seems to
    like...that's makes cleaning his 4 teeth easier....
    
    This stage is real tough, especially when he's on Augmentin for
    ear infections and has diarrhea with every change....yuck!
    
    Thanks for the support and guess I'll have to hang in there....
    
    Kristen

    At almost 6 mos, Sarah loves to kick, stretch, hop and twist.  She's
    been doing this since about 4 mos, although she was never a lay there
    quietly baby.  You would think that still being a small baby it would
    be easy, NOT.  She has to investigate everything, the wallpaper by the
    changing table, the wallpaper on the other side of the room (BUT IT'S
    THE SAME THING!!!!) the wall hanging by the changing table. 
    Thankfully, she's not a screamer just an always in motion kind of girl.
    It's going to be real interesting as she gets bigger.  The only thing I
    have found that will calm her motion is to sing to her.  She
    particularly enjoys my rendition/variation of "Wild Thing", although
    she could just be in awe of mom's lack of talent.  I try that while I'm
    getting at the poopy diapers and it's helped.
    
    Good luck,
    Susan

    
    RE. -1
    
    I forgot about that one...that has worked for us too...singing!
    Find some tune he really likes...
    
    Chris
    
    

    We have a changing table that includes a shelf at about
    adult head height in addition to the changing table itself.

    We put a small mirror on the bottom of this shelf so our kids
    could look up and see themselves in the mirror...it
    helped a lot.

    Whatever works.
    bob

    
    
    	I was just saying to a friend that it used to be so EASY to change my
    daughter (now 7 months), now it's impossible!  The ONLY thing that will
    get her to stay still for any length of time is the remote control for
    the tv/vcr/whatever, or the phone.  I used to let her play with these
    items on a regular basis, but now I save them for changing time so she
    won't get tired of them!!!  If she gets bored with THEM, I don't know
    what I'll do!
    
    	Justine  
                 

    This is a note after my own heart!  I don't feel so bad anymore after
    reading about everybody elses wonderful diaper/dressing adventures.
    
    The diaper/dressing demon entered my child at about 4-1/2 months.  This
    personality change is equivalent to pouring hot scalding water on your
    baby (something I have never done, but am convinced at the levels of
    her screaming that it would cause such pain!!)  She turns, kicks,
    arches her back, screams at the top of her lungs....we have a diaper
    flying, poop everywhere...desitin on all parts of the body except for
    the area intended!  When we are done and I pick her up...well its like
    a switch...happy smiling baby ready to eat or play.
    
    At first it really got to me...I dreaded the morning dressing or after
    bath pj change.  It was then that I decided that I was letting my
    feelings get out of control, because of Chelsea's actions.  So it was
    time to take a deep breath, put on a different pair of glasses and see
    this in a new light.  I actually make a joke out of it now, knowing
    that her little temper fit is not going to hurt her...and its my
    attitude that needed changing.  So we blast up her First Sony with
    "Zippity Do Dah" or another festive tune....Mom sings at the top of
    her lungs (which would catch anybody's attention for a few seconds)..
    and if all else fails we just laugh and keep on singiing...and
    fantasize that I am an expert Cowboy trying to lasso a young calf!!
    
    ...Lori

    
    Yes, Lori, did you ever notice when they get into that 
    "real HARD" screaming you described as the "hot scalding water scream"
    their legs and arms actually stop moving long enough to get the job 
    done???
    
    Sad to say, but true!
    
    Chris
    

Another vote for singing -- my son's favorite was "Wheels on the Bus" ("go
round and round, round and round, round and round, wheels on the bus go round
and round, all around the town." <-first verse). Somehow this would always calm
him down immediately and *usually* for long enough to get him changed.

Now, at 16 mos., I try to get him to "help" with the process - hold the powder
or a clean diaper, or entice him with the fun event of "flushing the poopoo"
or throwing the dirty diaper in the pail, etc. I've read it's also good to
tell them how much more comfortable they'll be in a clean diaper, but using
reason is a long-shot with such active, independent toddlers...

If neither of these works, then I just put it on while he stands up (if it's
messy, I either take him outside first or put him in the bathtub - the change
of scenery is another nice distraction).

I also used to get more agitated by this challenge, but now I just go with the
flow - I think they resist more when you fight them/chase them - but I know
this is tough to do after a hectic day, rough night, or whatever.

Patience and good luck,
-Cori

    When my children were in diapers, I kept a few pictures in the drawer
    of the dressing table.  Snapshots of the family - either duplicates or
    just such bad pictures that they weren't going in the album anyway.  I
    would hand them a picture, not caring if it got chewed on, bent,
    whatever, and that would usually keep them quiet long enough for a
    quick change.

    
    I had a set of toys/pictures/thingies that I gave my kids ONLY at the 
    changing table, I tried to change the set every now and then.
    
    I also taught them all about their face and head at the diaper table.
    
    Pam

    This suggestion is for those Moms/Dads who have trouble washing their
    baby's face and hands.  Taylor would always "squawk" when she would see
    my husband or I coming towards her with the facecloth in our hands, so
    I started a little game with her.  We call the facecloth "Mrs.
    Washcloth".  After she has eaten, we talk to her and say "Now it's time
    for Mrs. Washcloth to come for a visit".  We get the facecloth out of
    the drawer and wet it and make a little puppet with our hands as we
    come towards her and guess what?!  It worked.  Now she looks forward to
    seeing Mrs. Washcloth and seems to really enjoy getting her face and
    hands washed.  By the way, started this at amout 9 months - she's now 1
    year old.
    
    Linda

and for those diaper changing dilemmas:

Noelle hates it when I lay her down on the changing table.  So I set her down
either standing or sitting.  I have a set of toys reachable from the table.
She usually sits, grabs a toy, then I gently position her onto her back.
If her toy doesn't distract her for long enough, I have a couple of other
"distraction techniques":
	
	- hand her a disposable diaper so she can look at the design
	
	- blow on her toes (she loves it!)

	- play "flying Panda" with her little stuffed bear (it does a couple
	  of loops in the air and drops in for a tummy-or-toe-nuzzling landing)

    
    pooey, I can diaper them standing up. Much easier!
    
    Simon

    Tell us ytour technique - Simon!
    (is this with disposibles, or the flat rectangular cloth diapers? Now,
    THAT would be a talented parent!)
    
    Monica 8-)
    

  
   >>> pooey, I can diaper them standing up. Much easier!
   
  Pooey sounds like the operative word here.  What happens if
  the kidlet decides to "grace you" while you're diapering?
  Also, how do you wipe them clean?

   

    
    
    	I diaper standing up too... usually while Callie is running away. 
    I can only speak to disposables, and you have to "fan" them out before
    you start... but if you're quick it can be done!   I hold the front on
    her belly, wrap the back under, pull the tabs, and wrap 'em around
    front.  Whatever you do, DON'T let go of the front!  Since she's
    usually squealing and running away at this point, I have my hand on her
    stomach from behind.  Wiping really isn't so hard either - you get used
    to it.  Although I DO make her lie down for messy diapers, and I ALWAYS
    check first!  :-)
    
    	Justine

Samantha used to squirm and cry when I tried to wash her face and hands too.
Now she likes to wash her hands -- herself...I let her run them under the
water and she in turn lets me make her face...pretty...

She likes to look pretty so when I tell her that  it's time for mommy to
make her face pretty she sits still and lets me wash her up!

Vain..maybe?

    
    Justine has it, I can do this with cloth and disposables, but I've
    think we've put a price on ease of use, 20 bucks a week buys
    disposable and saves a lot of hassle.
    
    The trick is to have them wander over to the sofa, and to stand there
    banging their hands on the cushions. Then, when they're distracted,
    whip em off and whip em on again! We use wet wipes, just wipe around.
    The girls tend to have real neat poos anyway (Have I told my tophat
    story?)
    
    Simon

    RE:  .51
    
    >The trick is to have them wander over to the sofa, and to stand there
    >banging their hands on the cushions. 
    
    Is this a favorite form of amusement?  Very funny image.  I guess with
    twins, they incite each other.
    
    :-)
    
    Laura

    
    
    yep, they love waving their hands around, be it your back, the patio
    doors, the sofa, the cat...., that gets patted hard! They sit their
    drumming away.
    
    Simon

    Reading through the notes today - someone mentioned not having
    enough time.  I agree wholeheartedly.  I have a 17 month old
    son and my husband and I were just discussing how little sleep
    we both get.  How do you cope?  Maybe I just need a time
    management course.  
    
    Thanks,
    Terry

    
    You lower your standards.
    
    It's more of a trade off than anything else.  If you were to take on
    another job (outside the home - you know, one that pays money!), you
    would expect that something else would have to "give" somewhere.  When
    people become parents, I don't think they make the same changes in
    expectations of themselves and/or their lives.
    
    So, treat yourself like you're working two or three jobs ... that'll
    help relieve some of the pressure.
    
    For me, most other things have been "buying" time or "chunking" tasks.  
    Here are some examples;
    
    o I do laundry and most housework once/week.  Hopefully on Saturday. 
    *ALL* the dirty clothes are brought to the basement, I start the
    machines going, and they go all day.  
    In the basement, I have a ping pong table that was unused.  You could
    use a piece of countertop just as well.  ALL the clothes get sorted
    onto this table.  So, it goes something like; take the clothes out of
    the dryer, into a basket, start the next load drying.  Stay there and
    fold all the clothes and sort them by owner.  All the single socks stay
    in piles (by owner) till they show up again (no more odd socks in the
    drawers).  When the pile of clothes is too full, it's the owner's
    responsibility to put them away.  I handle all the towels/sheets and other
    "community" laundry.  This works GREAT because you never get buried by
    more than 1 load of laundry, and if you have to stop part way through,
    there aren't piles of laundry sitting around the living room to get
    knocked over or whatever.  Jonathan has toys in the basement, so if
    there's a load in the dryer, I'll just bring him down with me, let him
    play while I fold for 10 mins, and that's that.
    
    Doing it "in bulk" like this seems to take less time in the long run
    for me, than doing a load a day or so.  Plus I know that the kids'
    clothes are clean for school, and don't have to worry about running out
    midweek.
    
    o Saturday is cleaning day.  Either you clean or watch Jonathan.  I TRY
    to make a list of things that need to get done so that others know
    where they can help out.  I tend to make a "sweep" of the whole place,
    usually starting downstairs, and just clear "clutter" into a single
    pile (a laundry basket works great for this).  Then as I move to the
    next room, I check the basket for stuff that needs to be put away, and
    add more to it from that room, stuff that doesn't belong.  Lots of
    oversized containers for toys helps a lot.  Cleaning goes something
    like hard floors, dishes, counters/tabletops, carpets.  Rooms go in the
    order of the ones that bug me most to least.  So, downstairs b.room,
    then kitchen, then living room, then upstairs.  While you have the
    broom from sweeping floors, go on outside and sweep the walk.  
    
    o I tend to shop on a weeknight - take the time that would normally be
    reserved for cooking dinner, and go grocery shopping.  At the store,
    buy something pre-cooked for dinner that night.
    
    o Cook *FAST* and simple.  "Baked" stuff is the simplest.  You can take
    any assortment of meat, combine a vegetable or soup in a baking dish,
    stick it in the oven, and have time to stack some dishes while that's
    cooking.
    
    o If you like more elegant meals, save them for Sunday.  In a previous
    life (when I only had 1 kid - not 3), I used to spend a good deal of
    time Sat cooking, and then would freeze it for use during the week. 
    Until I found we weren't eating it .... (-:
    
    o Go ahead and "cheat" - use minute rice, buy the garlic bread already
    made, PLAN to have hot dogs and beans or a tv dinner once a week
    
    o For exercise (HA!) Bob Palmer said it was okay if you take a longer
    lunch to work out because he knows you'll be that much more effective
    afterwards .... so go for it!  Otherwise, ummmmmmmmm .... get fat??
    
    o NUMBER ONE:  Teach your kids young!!  Jonathan's been putting stuff
    "in the trash" for a long time, and the dishwasher.  He helps sweep
    too.  All of the above with mixed results, but honestly my oldest 2 can
    be QUITE helpful (especially if money's involved).
    
    Time management stuff doesn't seem to fully encompass all that parents
    have to do.  AND they make it sound so simple, it just seems to be more
    frustrating than anything.
    
    ...well, I just found out that my kids have no daycare this afternoon,
    so I've got to split for a bit - isn't parenting fun!??!
    
    ugh!
    time??  what's that??

    
    I gave up alot of things around the house.
    
    I don't dust except when I notice it (every 2-3 months).
    
    I don't do as good a job vacuuming (nor as often).
    
    I spot clean the kitchen floor, and maybe actually mop it once 
    a month.  Similar with the bathtup, however I'm better about
    cleaning the rest of the bathrooms.
    
    I don't fold Laurens clothes.  What does get folded is folded
    while watching a favorite TV show (I only watch 2 hours/week).
    This is also a good time to write the bills. I'm the opposite
    of -1... I prefer to do one load of laundry at a time, usually
    on a weeknight when I don't have the energy for anything else.
    I find laundry to be a very easy task (but then, I only have
    1 child.
    
    My husband does his own laundry.  We started this right after
    getting married when he discovered that I don't iron clothes, 
    tend to overdry them, and his dress shirts were a mess.  His
    solution to this is to take them out when still damp and hang
    them, thus he doesn't have to iron either.  Works for me.  We
    maintain separate laundry baskets.
    
    I cook full dinner 3-4 times per week.  The rest of the time is
    leftovers (2 times), fend for yourself (canned food or frozen dinner)
    and take-out/eat out.  Hubbie does the dinner dishes on the 
    nights that I cook a full meal.  Otherwise, we share.
    
    I grocery shop only one time per week, often less.  It helps to menu
    plan.  I plan a full months of meals in one sitting (it actually takes
    no more time than to plan a full week since you don't have to
    pick and choose).  I only plan 4 meals per week, as I said.  If
    something doesn't get made, I don't worry about it.  
    
    My husband cuts the coupons.  Making a grocery list tends to take
    some time due to coupons.  If I didn't have to worry about coupons
    and what was on sale at the grocery store, it would take me less
    time to make my list.  However, I probably save $50/month by
    shopping sales and coupons so its a trade-off you need to make.
    
    As far as saving time on shopping, I try to have one major food shop
    per month.  I get all the main staples on my planned menu, then
    only have to do minor shopping on the other weeks of the month.  If
    you do this right, on the minor shopping weeks, you just run through
    the produce section, the meat section, and the milk section (this
    happens to be the outer aisles of most grocery stores.
    
    I do shop at other stores like BJs and walmarts so I try to make
    sure I don't have to visit them more than once a month.  These usually
    take less time than grocery shopping so I often go on the way home
    from work.
    
    Bathtime... after Lauren is clean, I brush my teeth, take my contacts
    out, wash my face (or change for my aerobics).  She plays in the tub.
    
    I do aerobics at 8PM 2-3 nights per week.  If Lauren is not in bed,
    my husband is responsible for her.  He also watches her for my
    aerobics on the weekends.  Also, my aerobics is tapes, which cuts out
    on the commute to a health club.  And I only do 1/2 hour tapes on the
    weeknights (most clubs over 1 hour classes) so this saves time.
    Then I use the weights 2 times per week at work or do a non-sweaty
    toning tape during lunch.
    
    Weeding my garden gets done when Lauren is outside playing. 
    My husband does the lawn and shoveling and any other outside work.
    
    People tell me I'm overly organized....  
    
    Karen
    
    
    
    
    

    I do similiar but different than the last two replies:
    
    1)  I have a cleaning lady come in once a week.  I don't have time to
    the cleaning.  I'm too busy with job, family, school, etc. to have time
    to do a good clean once a week.  I do pick up every night...toys/books,
    etc are put away.  I get to cook dinner every night for my daughter and
    myself (husband works 3x12) and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher 
    after dinner.  
    
    2)  I do a load of laundry every morning while I'm working out.  I have
    all the equipment in the basement...just empty/fold the laundry and
    start another load.  This leaves just sheets and towels ont he weekend.
    
    3)  Husband will do mini-shops during the week.  We do a major run to
    SAM's once a month (paper and laundry products)
    
    4)  Hubby cuts the grass on his day off (weeds, also)
    
    5)  Baths are my responsibility.  Also, a good time for play and "talk"
    time.  Kids love to splash/play in the tub.  I let her play for 15-20
    minutes and then get her clean.  She is too little to bath herself or
    to leave unattended.  I sit next to the tub and get splashed.  After
    teeth brushing, I wash my face, brush my teeth, and put my "jammies"
    on and read to her.  (quiet time for mom/dad and little one)
    
    you just have to realize that your time is more valuable now and either
    delegate jobs or have pay someone to do them.  I think it is more
    important to pick my little one up from day care and play outside, go
    to library, what ever, then to come home and clean or do house work.  
    
    I have given up on doing a lot of reading and crafts.  I may read a
    chapter a week (after little girl is in bed), or stitch for a half
    hours while see watches a "wind down" video.  
    
    Kathi
    

    Thanks for the replies.  You've given me some really good
    ideas on how to save time.  I never thought of parenting
    as an extra job, but you're absolutely right - it is taking
    on an additional set of responsibilities.  From now on, I'm
    not going to be so hard on myself.
    
    Thanks,
    Terry

    I haven't had time to reply to this one yet,  (pun intended) but 
    months later, here I am with my semi-useful hints...
    
    As everyone else has said, you do have to lower your standards.  I now
    have two munchkins in a big spread of age (7 yrs and 3.5 mos), so they
    absolutely never need the same thing at the same time (bath, food,
    attention, etc.)  I am also luckier (and less lucky) than most, because
    I have my elder parent living with me.  She's 65 and disabled (2 kinds
    of hefty arthritis), but she takes care of my munchkin(s) while I work,
    tries to do the non-husband laundry (my husband is also trained to do
    his own, due to his preference for USMC regulation folding that I 
    refused to accomodate when we first married...).  The trade off here is
    that this makes another picky appetite to worry about, another set of
    doctor appointments to schedule in, and another set of shopping
    requirements.  And, of course, being my mother, she still tries to boss
    me around and wants me to keep house *her* way.  Basically, my mom
    costs me about as much time as she saves me.  
    
    Here are some of my hints -- We "deep clean" once a week (wash counters
    and floors, vaccuum, etc.) on Saturday a.m.  My seven year old has been
    in charge of disposing recyclable items since he was 3, and is finally
    learning to be responsible about picking up his toys before bed due to
    a bribery deal (see below!).
    
    I make one trip to Sam's or Price Club weekly on Sunday a.m., 
    where I buy basics like canned or frozen foods, soft drinks and 
    snacks as needed.  Once monthly, I make a major trip to
    Price Club for meats and convenience foods.  I absolutely cannot
    survive without Minute Rice, instant mashed taters, Ore-Ida products
    and Rice-A-Roni; I always try to keep at least one no-cook meal in the
    house (frozen lasagne, Marie Callendar's Pot Pies, fish fillets and
    fries, and lots of micro french bread pizza for hubby and 7 year old.  
    I give myself permission to run for fast food at least one night per week,
    and to resort to a "pickup supper" (every man, woman or child for
    himself!) one other night.
    
    I try to plan my weekend days and personal chores in the same way I do
    my work -- that is, I really use my Franklin Quest planner, and make a
    note of any important task that I need to complete, and prioritize it.
    This is not that hard to do, just as though it were a work duty that 
    a customer or my boss was breathing down my neck for, as opposed to
    (for example) filing documents or prepping my expense reports.
    
    I make one trip to Target, Kmart or Wal-Mart weekly on Saturday, where 
    I buy my Huggies Supreme, whatever major sale item I just can't 
    live without, and/or the fresh batch of socks, underwear, shorts/shirts, 
    or whatever, that one of my bigger boys (hubby and 7 year old) 
    routinely feeds to the dryer monster.  
    
    My husband does the dishes while I play with Jake (baby) and/or Joe
    (7).  I make formula while my husband gets Joe ready for bed.  I feed
    Jake while husband goes to bed (he works very early!).  As soon as Jake
    is fed and begins to be sleepy, I go hit the living room floor and
    train with Tony Little and my Ab Isolator.  On my two nights off
    working out, I get to read during that 1/2 hour.  I'm still working on
    finding time for an aerobic workout, but I'll get there yet!!
    
    Whenever I can, I run errands on my lunch hour (prescription pick-ups,
    formula runs, mall trip for a family/friend birthday, etc.), and then
    eat a lite bite at my desk later (saves the lunch time for erranding
    and keeps me from getting too fat on fast food!!).
    
    I ruthlessly refuse to give up my bi-weekly manicure, and always make
    sure to send my husband on some 1.5-3 hr errand alone every other week,
    too.