| If you're SO/Spouse does not want to go, and you really want to
go, or try this, then...try it. If it would bother you what other
people might think about a single guy going to a nude beach, then
don't tell everyone where you are going. You might be surprised
who you find there. I used to go to Moonstone alot and one day believe
it, I say my boss there. I wasn't very different from seeing him
at a regular beach. You can't and shouldn't force anyone to go if
they really don't want to. But if you would really like to experience
it then you should.
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| If the SO doesn't wish to undress, but isn't offended at the
idea of being around nude strangers, then see if you can convince
them to go one time. At the Ledges there are several couples where
one member participates and the other doesn't. After all, that's
what clothing-optional means. Over time, perhaps they will overcome
the fear/objection/whatever. (Sometimes only takes five minutes.)
If the SO is offended at the idea of even being present, then you
have to decide whether you want to go by yourself. As long as you
are not rude, inconsiderate, or gawking, I don't believe most people
will give a second thought to an unattached male.
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| This seems to be a popular question. I don't know a good answer
(there may not be a good answer) but I'll ramble a little.
The first thing to do is to figure out why *you* want to try
nudism (not easy -- I'm still not sure why I like it so much).
Then, make sure that your SO understands your reasons. When I
first suggested going to a nude beach, my wife was luke warm to
the idea. In later discussion, I discovered that she thought
that I was looking for some new sort of erotic experience. When
I emphasized that that wasn't at all what I had in mind, she
became much more willing to consider it.
Next try to figure out why your SO *doesn't* want to try it.
I can think of a lot of possible reasons:
** To many people, nakedness means sex, in one way or another.
If this is part of the problem, make it clear that you aren't
going to an orgy. Naturism is a family experience -- there are
many of us who enjoy it precisely because we believe that it is
a wholesome environment for our children.
My experience is that there really is much less sexual interest
in a naked person than in one wearing a bathing suit, for example.
There isn't any room for fantasies about what's underneath!
** Embarrassment. It's *awfully* hard to imagine taking off your
clothes in front of a bunch of strangers, considering how much
of our lives we've spent making sure that noone ever sees part
of us that they shouldn't. It may seem inconceivable.
But you don't have to start right out being naked. This really
is something that you can ease into. While some nudist camps
require nudity, many others don't; and clothing-optional beaches
are just that -- optional. You can go just to see what it's
like being around naked people. After a while, most people find
that they feel a little odd being dressed, and taking off their
own clothes seems perfectly natural. If you doesn't feel like
it, there's no pressure. You can always leave.
So, if the problem is "I could never be naked around other people"
rather than "I could never be around naked people", the best
answer is to just go see what it is like.
** Body shame. Some people are embarassed about their bodies, and
don't want other people to see how imperfect they are. Some are
afraid that they won't "measure up" against all the perfect bodies
that will be there.
In fact, when we go to our local nudist camp, there are people in
their 60's and 70's; there have been women who are eight months
pregnant; there's a man with only one arm; there are teenagers;
there are even a few perfect bodies (but they're few and far between).
Naturists are used to seeing bodies of *all* kinds. A less
judgmental lot you're unlikely to find.
** It's disgusting.
If your SO feels that the whole idea of public nudity is
fundamentally depraved or revolting, there probably isn't
much to be done about it. In that case, I'd think twice
about going off to do by myself something that my SO thought
was so unacceptable. It seems like it might put some pretty
severe strains on the relationship.
(On the other hand, if s/he just doesn't think s/he likes the
idea, but doesn't mind if you try it, then maybe s/he will be
more interested after you come back and report what a good
time you had.)
I hope this helps a little. Maybe some other readers can suggest
some other possible "reasons why not" and answers to them.
-Neil
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| My wife Jan was very reluctant to go to our local beach with me.
We went camping at some textile sites near good naturist beaches and "just
happened" to find the beach. Jan stripped off quite happily, and enjoyed
being there. She still wouldn't come to our local beach though.
I sent for a brochure for a naturist holiday site, and Jan nearly went mad
that I hadn't asked her first. We discussed it when she calmed down, and we
booked a holiday. When we got there she was out of her clothes before I was
out of the car.
Gradually over the years, Jan has realised that she is comfortable with
herself when naked, and now when it is warm enough goes naked at home too.
This year we have made quite a few trips to our local beach, and had a
tremendous holiday in Wales. (See later note) Jan was the first to say "can
we come again next year?"
It's taken a few years of patience and persistance to get to this point, and
we have had a few arguments about it on the way, but I have always known
since the first time that I saw her strip off on a beach that it was only a
matter of Jan realising how she felt when all the unstated fears where
resolved. If she had appeared uncomfortable I would have given up long ago.
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