Conference misery::feline

    Ken,
    
    My prayers are with Lucas and please keep us posted!  Even though I do 
    agree Tufts is very expensive, my experience with dealing with them 
    has been wonderful.   I was truly amazed at the caring attitude and
    how the vets called me on a daily basis and kept me updated.  I believe
    the difference might be is that it was the weekend and I believe
    they run on a very limited staff.  (which isn't right!)
    
    I personally would have been as upset as you were if that had happend
    to me!!  The Chief of Staff for small animals is Dr. Linda Ross...
    why dont you give her a call and let her know how you feel.   Of
    course, trying to get in touch with her might be another frustrating
    moment.
    
    Please keep us posted on Lucas...and my thoughts are with you.
    
    Sandy
    

    First Lucas, now Ashley is now sick as well. He's a 13-year-old male. 
    Ashley was "battling Ashley" until a few years ago -- he had taken it 
    upon himself
    to be the yard guard, and he had some real knock-downs with cats from
    other neighborhoods. He has stopped eating and is very lethargic. This 
    is shaping up to be a very bad week. I'm taking today as vacation so I 
    can stay home with him until the vet comes later.
    
    Ken (kind of numb at this point)

    Ken, I had 3 cats with heart problems admitted to Tufts, so can
    sympathize with what you're feeling.  I agree with Sandy... the weekend
    staff are usually not the same folks you will be dealing with on a
    weekday.  The vets who treated my cats were wonderful!  If Dr. Rush is
    assigned to Lucas' case, you can bet he will be in the hands of a very
    capable and knowledgable cardiologist... I think he is head of the
    department.  He was thorough and took a lot of time out of his busy
    schedule to answer my many questions, and even contacted the breeder of
    two of my cats (they were brothers) to express his concern of her
    continuing to repeat breedings of their parents, due to the
    abnormalities he found in treating them.  When all was said, done, and
    over with, he wrote me a beautiful card to express his grief on their
    passing.  I still have it.
    
    I won't even tell you how much I spent!  The costs were astronomical! 
    However, although I lost my cats, I learned so much about their
    disease.  I feel I actually paid for a mini education, and also peace
    of mind because I knew that 1)I did everything possible to try to save
    them, and 2) Tufts will perform a necropsy at no extra charge, and even
    though to some that sounds morbid, I elected to do so because it
    further reinforced that I had done everything possible, and also
    pinpointed the cause of their deaths.
    
    Ken, hang in there.  I hope now that the weekend is over, you will be
    confronted with a more positive viewpoint of Tufts and their staff.  I
    also hope that Dr. Rush is put in charge of his case.  He is so
    wonderful.  Other familiar names are Dr. Garlock and Dr. Piper.
    
    Hang in there, and please keep us posted.  I know Dr. B. is your
    housecall vet, and she was really instrumental in helping me through
    Murdock's loss two years ago.  I'm sure she is doing everything she can
    for you as well.
    
    -Roberta
    

    It could be that Ashley has picked up a wee virus, especially if he has
    taken on the role of boss cat.  He has probably pick up something
    from one of his "combat" buddies.  Don't mean to teach my grandmother,
    but have you checked him out for abcess'?  Mine have the habit of
    getting them in very out of the way places.
    
    I am keeping my fingers crossed for Lucas and for you.  Hope it's not
    long before you are all back together again.

    I had a similar experience several years ago with a cat with a urinary
    blockage....of course, on a weekend. It seems that many  Central Mass vets
    don't offer emergency coverage on weekends anymore since Tufts is
    there. Their fees are indeed astronomical, and they seem to have a
    dearth of sympathy for the ordinary person faced with payup or forget
    it. Of course I paid up and Scooter recovered, but then I got a call
    several weeks later saying that they had discovered another $75.00 in
    charges that they had "forgotten". I protested (I had already paid
    500.00) and we finally negotiated it down quite a bit. I have a
    colleague who also managed to negotiate a bill down after pleading
    hardship. Its good that they are there for the truly unusual case, but
    I have taken to praying that my cats not get seriously ill on the week-
    ends !!
    
    Anne
    
    ps. Ever since then I never fail to get a fund raising solicitation
        from Tufts once a year, but I figure I already contributed.

    My Abigail is presently in the hospital (Leominster, MA) and one of 
    the vets mentioned that only once did she see a cat whom they could
    not diagnose.
    
    The owners took the cat to Tufts, where he unfortunately died.  The 
    autopsy showed nothing (no one ever figured out how why he died) and 
    the bill was well over $1,000.00.
    
    As a teaching hospital and/or medical center you would think the 
    fees would be a bit lower.
    
     

    Well, ultrasound and xrays showed thst Ashley was full of tumors.
    Diagnosis was lymphoma. We had Ashley put down by our vet at home last
    night, and then we buried him in the garden, next to W.C. Cat, who died
    several years ago. We'd like to remember Ashley as the strong, feisty
    cat he was until recently, when he apparently contracted cancer and
    began his rapid decline. He was 13 and we raised him from a kitten.
    
    Adding to an already horrible week, the vet at Tufts told us that Lucas
    has cardiomyopathy from no apparent cause, but that middle-aged male
    cats get it commonly. Lucas is now feeling fine thanks to having had
    fluid drained from his chest and the drugs he'll have to take from now
    on. However, the vet indicates that Lucas can be expected to have only
    another 4-6 months to live.
    
    This is a really lousy week.
    
    ken                                                      
    

    Ken, I am so sorry to hear about both Ashley and Lucas.  I lost three
    cats to cardio, so know how sad and helpless you must feel.  Cardio, if
    caught in it's early stages, can be controlled with medication.  I hope
    that Lucas will be with you for awhile.  Enjoy and cherish all the
    extra time you have with him.
    
    Ashley lived a good life, and you should be proud that he was with you
    for so many years.
    
    Take care, and keep us updated on Lucas' progress.
    
    -Roberta
    

    
    Ken, so sorry about your lose. I can only pray for Lucas now. 
    You had done everything possible and Ashley is now resting peacefuly
    in Kitty heaven.
    
    Shaw

    I am so so sorry to hear about Ashley.  That she was able to be with
    you, in her own home at the end, must have been somewhat comforting for
    you.
    
    Hopefully Lucas will recover to the point that his life is of quality -
    I can tell it is and will be ... filled with love.
    
    I honestly don't know how you can function at work - I admire your
    strength.  My best to you and give Lucas a hug for me.
    
    My best regards Ken,
    
    Marilyn
    

    I am so sorry to hear about Ashley. I will be adding Ashley to the
    Silver Lining Memorial list if that is all right with you.
    
    My prayers are with you and Lucas at this time of grief and hope. Keep
    Ashley in your heart and he will always be with you.
    
    Love,
    
    Yonee
                                 

    Yonee -
    
    Yes, and thank you.
    
    ken
    

    Im's so sorry you lost the fight.  At least Ashley and Lucas know you
    cared and loved them.  I hate losing any of my cats, even to old age. 
    My heart goes out to you for the pain you must be feeling right now.
    
    
    

    So sorry to hear about Ashley...my heart goes out to you.  BUT...you
    did save her alot of suffering and she is now at peace with many
    of our kitty friends in heaven!!
    
    I pray that the medication will provide Lucas with alot more quality
    time.  I also lost a kitty to cardio....and my heart still aches.  But
    yet I do know of multiple cats that are living normal healthy lives
    and are on heart medication for the same thing.
    
    Sandy

    Ken,
    
    So very sorry to hear of your loss of your beloved Ashley.  Know
    now that she is in a much better place free of all pain.
    
    Lots of love and kitty prayers for poor Lucas.  Keep us posted.
    
    Pam

    
			ASHLEY ON PATROL

Ashley
unremarkable looking
grey striped tabbycat
until you see the eyes
cat of sinew and fur
resolute gaze, steady manner
scarred but never bowed
on patrol
on patrol in the house
in the yard
along the wall of the woods
keeping watch
claws and teeth ready
for the invader
foolish enough to Cross the Line

Ashley on patrol
through the long hours of the night
the brief hours of summer afternoon
the snow, rain, wind
on patrol
ever watchful
never tiring
resolved
resolute
content to be on patrol

Ashley on patrol
a quick meal inside
at the kitty dish on the counter
gulping down store-bought food
tame, house cat food
for an untamed soul
quickly
still watching
from the corner of an eye
what's that motion outside?
just random movement
or an Intruder?
no more time for tame eating
must get back on duty

Ashly on patrol
so many encounters in the night
a few in daytime
most unseen by other eyes
several heard in the small hours
many not
but always the yard remains safe
under guard
many scars
much hair gone
not quite as steady as you were
youth cannot be kept by force of will
or sense of duty


Ashley on patrol
always a friend to your housemates
other cats lacking your resolve
sense of purpose
a small, noisy dog who presumes too much
but tolerated
humans who care for you and who you care for
despite their puzzling lack of territoriality
who cuddle you when you're between duty sections
scratching you under the chin
your most favorite place
which causes you to stretch most luxuriously
and make your soft, rumbling purr
eyes closed in pleasure at the touch and warmth
of those you guard so well
perhaps time for a tame snack at countertop
before resuming the watch
for another long night

Ashley on patrol
who, during some long night of attentiveness
encountered one of the smallest intruders
an intruder of the body
an intruder unseen, unfelt, unsmelled
that began its own patrol of your life's blood
a patrol that doomed you

Ashley no longer on patrol
not eating, sleeping too much
too thin
coat dulled and threadbare
tired, retired sentry now
dreaming of past glories, past battles won
now too fond of the soft carpet, the cozy room
your body invaded by the unknown and unknowable
failing
so tired
time to rest, my friend
a last hug, a last purr
the prick of a needle
sleep now

Ashley on patrol
coat shiney again, gaze steady, pace confident
no more pain
no more adversaries
Ashley on patrol
in Heaven

    What a beautiful tribute to Ashley.
    
    I am at a total loss of words!  (Besides, I can't see through the
    tears)
    
    Marilyn
    
    
    P.S.  You should consider submitting your poem ... it's brilliant!
    

    *WOW*
    
    And sincere condolences.  I too lost my old friend to this killer 
    this summer, so your poem really hit home.  I grieve with you.
    
    Linda (very tearfully)

    My thoughts exactly.  It's the hardest thing you can do..give your
    beloved pet release...because of the loss you know you will feel.  But
    it's the kindest thing you can do.  Regarding your other cat, I can say
    that about 1-1/2 years ago our TaiTai was diagnosed with the same
    illness.  So far Tai has had three ultrasounds (?) has been on cardizem
    three times a day.  He seems to be handling his illness remarkably
    well.  It sure is a pain, tho, when you have to get someone to care for
    him while you're away.  No person in their right mind wants to give a
    pill to a cat.  But we love him enough to pay the extra for special
    care (by a vet's assistant who comes by three times a day to medicate
    Tai, an epileptic dog, care for a blind day and feed them all.  I hope
    your cat does as well as Tai has (one vet's prognosis was less than 6
    months.  He was over 10 when he developed it.  
    
    

    
    I always feel so powerless and useless when someone in this conference
    loses an animal they love so deeply, as if there's nothing I can do
    or say to ease the pain, which I have known myself, and which I feel
    again whenever one of you shares your loss with the rest of us. 
    Usually I just swallow hard and hope the lump in my throat will be gone
    before someone walks in my office.  I wish I could say "you'll get over
    it"; I never have, but at least with time the memories that make you
    smile begin to balance the immediate sense of loss.
    
    Ken's eulogy so perfectly captures what it is about these animals that
    makes losing them such a staggering blow.  Friends always say "but she
    lived such a wonderful life", and all I can feel is "but my life is so
    diminished without her".
    
    But this time I had to speak up, even though I know there's nothing I
    can do other than say, "I understand".
    
    len.
    

      So very sorry to hear all the bad news this week.
      condolences on your loss
    
      denise and the gang
    
      the tribute is excellent!  do, do submit it..maybe to CATS

    We brought Lucas home from Tufts last night. His prognosis is
    'guarded.' The doctor indicated that he probably has 4-6 months of
    quality life left, as he is suffering from cardiomyopathy. He is on a
    bunch of pills and will be an indoor kitty now.
    
    This morning he was still very lethargic and doesn't want to eat.
    Worried, I called our vet. She said that after a hospital stay, during
    which cats usually don't sleep much because of stress, they can take a
    day or so to "crash and sleep" after getting home. I will be picking up
    some special food today to tempt him to start eating again (he's
    drinking a lot of water, which may be the result of the Lasix he's
    taking). He does _not_ like being pilled, and we don't want to stress
    him any more than necessary during his daily pillings. Does anyone know
    of a device which expedites cat pilling?
    
    
    ken
              

    Ken,
    
    Go to the cat show this weekend at the Wallace Civic Center in
    Fitchburg, MA.  One of the vendors (Martha at Haddleigh House) has this
    device for pilling cats.  It looks like a long syringe.  You put the
    pill at the end of this thing and put it in the cats mouth.  Then it
    "pops" the pill in the cat's mouth.
    
    Or, if you'd like, I can pick one up and send it to you.
    
    Holly
    

    Hopefully Lucas will do better now that he is home.  With familiar
    surroundings, no loud noises that go with being hospitalized and lots
    of love and attention ... his spirits will be lifted.
    
    I don't know what Lucas has for "favorite" foods ... but in trying to
    coax Abigail to eat (she is STILL in the hospital) the vets and I have
    been feeding her turkey and chicken (they go to the Deli and buy it for
    her) and they keep a box of Bonkers in her cage.  Also, I brought her 
    some Gerbers (baby food) creamed spinach which she LOVES and last night
    she ate 1/2 the jar.  Don't know the nutritional benefits but I would 
    assume it's loaded with potassium and can't hurt him.  All my cats
    LOVE creamed spinach and Dr. Mulcahy said that she has heard from more
    than one person that it is a favorite among cats.
    
    I'll say a prayer for all of you as I know how hard it is to want them
    well again..  The wishing takes lots of energy and at times ... you
    feel so powerless.
    
    Here's hoping Lucas gets better every day.
    
    

         So sorry to hear about Lucas; here's hoping that he'll feel better
    soon.
    
         Does anyone know (Roberta?) if there is a liquid or an injectable 
    form of the heart medication?  Pills are a big no-no in our house ;^) .
    The liquids are pretty easy, though.  And even though it sounds awful,
    I've found injections the easiest.  This is insulin, though, sub-q, and
    not in a vein ...
    
    					- Andrea  

    To all who have been so kind ...
    
    Many thanks from Karen and me.
    
    
    ken
    

    We are going to vary Lucas' meds to see if we can get him back closer
    to normal (he's been acting 'stoned' since he came home). He will
    continue to take the BP meds atenolol and vasotec, but we're stopping
    temporarily, and then resuming at a smaller dose, lasix (a diuretic).
    The vet indicated that all the meds may have dropped his BP so low that
    he's stuck in first gear. We also hope this will improve his appetite.
    
    ken
    
    

Lucas died last night. He was on several medications and didn't seem to be
doing too badly, although he still wasn't eating. We heard a sort of moan and 
found him paralyzed, lying panting on the floor. His bladder had let go. 
I bundled him up and raced to the vet, but he died in the car on the way. 
It apparently was a blood clot to the brain, something we'd been told was 
a possibility with cardiomyopathy. Still, the vet at Tufts who had been 
treating him was very surprised. At least Lukie didn't suffer long.

So, in one week, we lost both Ashley and Lucas. It's been a truly horrible 
time. I've lost two of my buddies.

ken

    I long sat and thought what to say.
    I cannot say anything. I hope you feel what I think.
    I wish I could comfort you just a tiny bit...
    
    My thoughts are with you.
    Nat.
    

    Ken,
    
     I'm so sorry about Lucas. Please know you did all you could for him,
    and that he knew it. As Nat said, there's really nothing to say. My
    heart is with you.
    
     I'm adding Lucas' name to the Silver Lining Memorial.
    
    Love,
    
     Yonee

    
    Ken, there isn't much I can do or say to make things better for you and
    your family. My sympathies on your loses. 
    
    Shaw

    My sincere sympathy too..my heart breaks for you!   There isn't much
    one can say...but take a bit of comfort in knowing that niether baby
    had to suffer for long.
    
    Sandy

    Ken, what heart wrenching news.  My sympathy to you and your family
    in the loss of your faithful companions Ashley and Lucas.
    
    Nothing I say is going to make you feel any better and/or make the
    sadness any less painful.  Putting myself in your position my only
    solace would be that they are together.
    
    Marilyn
    

    I am so very sorry to hear of Lucas' passing.  You did everything
    possible to help him, so take comfort in that, and hang onto the
    memories and photos of better times.
    
    Our thoughts reach out to you and your family,
    
    Roberta (and Kelsey, Taja, and Herbie)
    

         I'm really sorry to read about your losing both Ashley and Lucas
    in so short a time.  That's really heart-wrenching.
    
         Please be very gentle to yourselves ... 
    
    					- Andrea

   Ken,

   My sympathies as well............there's really not much more I can say...

   Debbi

    Ken,
    
    I am so sorry about Ashley and Lucas.  My heart aches for you and your
    wife.  The poem you wrote for Ashley had me in tears.  It was so
    beautiful.
    
    Steffi

    I can sympathize with Ken on the cost occurred at Tufts but, then
    again, my Thunder would only have lived a short time without their
    treatment.  She had tumors reoccurring in her mouth.  Two were removed
    by her normal vet and the third was treated with cortisone and other
    medicines to no avail.  The final try was Tufts.  I had already decided
    that this would be her last operation.  First tumor was found when she
    was 6 months old and the last one was removed shortly after her first
    birthday at Tufts.  Prognosis was max 18 months of life after first
    tumor found.  Thunder is now a wonder at 6 years old and still going.  I
    don't begrudge the price I paid.  She is worth it.  
    
    	Sandi who has a completely spoiled, loved Thunder on her hands.
    
    PS  I think I would use Tufts again if I needed to as a last resort for
        any one of my kittys.
    

    My sincere sympathy...
    
    Deb

    Once again, many thanks for all the kind remarks. You have helped us
    through a very difficult time.
    
    ken and karen &
    
    The Mugly Stump
    Mom Cat
    Baby Cakes
    Mitzvah
    Molly MaGee
    Huey Mewis
    
    & Spock the Dog
    
    
    

    Ken,
    
    my sympathies. I've lost 3 cats to cancer in the last year and a half,
    two were very sudden (4-7 days), and I know that the emotional
    rollercoaster almost made me crack. Please take care of yourself.
    
    Deb