Conference misery::feline

    I had the same experience. Old ladies (and uncles) are Your owner. They
    are too old to get used to others. Jelous. Just understand it, I
    think... and let the little guy go, for he'll have it good at that farm.
    
    Nat

    Maybe the old duffer is just too old to change?  
    
    My roommate brought home a new one last year, and although our
    No. 1 boy was still fairly young (few years old) - he was the
    only one to rule the roost.  To this day I guess I'd say they
    get a long, but it took time.
    
    Mine wouldn't eat, and still might fuss if you pick him up when
    "that other kid" is about, but then you catch them bathing each
    other, sleeping together, sharing food dishes - so overall they
    adjusted.  I really wanted a playmate for mine and hoped he would
    like having a little one around - I think he does.
    
    But, it takes a lot of discipline on your part to bring a new member
    in.  I have to remember to make special play time for my baby, and
    if I show affection for one, do it to the other.  You don't want
    the first one to feel ignored, but then again you don't want No. 2
    to feel neglected - tough compromise.  I think you've got to really
    make the decision based on your old momcat's personality.
    
    Good luck to you and new kitty!
    
    C.
    

    
    
    	Well, I see a small ray of hope here. I did kinda what
    	I am hearing .2 telling me to do. Took baby for a car
    	ride last night while MOMCAT had some nice dinner put 
    	down. (Had to corral the little monster while I served
    	though because he was pretty mad that food was happening
    	and he wasn't in on it even though he had just polished
    	off a small can...). Took him out and she did eat a little
    	bit. Brought him back and made him go upstairs to play for
    	awhile by himself on the other side of a door. I went down
    	and 'negotiated' with MOM. She actually let me pat her and
    	hold her and we even played a little bit. She likes to play
    	through the bannister bars on the stair landing. I have claw
    	marks to prove it. I got out the dreaded paperwad on a string
    	and we played with that for a bit and then let the little guy
    	come out and play too. She wandered off again but last night
    	she did sleep in my drawer (she likes that) where she hadn't
    	done so since he showed up. So...closer and closer maybe.
    	Going to see because my initial thought was with .1 and I
    	was really hoping hard that maybe we could see some kind
    	of cosmic shuffle here that would put us (me and the kitties)
    	into some better place in time. Maybe it will be ok tonight
    	and maybe not. Will wait and see. 
    						Catnip-Kim-Attila
    
    	(He became a real frantic guy when I served CHICKEN for dinner
    	last night)
    

     When I adopted Abigail as a playmate for Hamilton he was 18 mos. old.
    She was 2 mos. He still won't sleep with her or eat out of the same
    dish. I do catch him washing her every so often and he finally started 
    speaking to me again. We've had her for 3 and a half months now and
    he still isn't real friendly to her. I mostly do what .2 suggests.
    It's too late to give up Abby. She's totally stolen our hearts. Ham-
    ilton is leash trained so we go out together and he LOVES that time
    with me. But he doesn't play anymore like he used to unless she's
    at the vet's for the night (once for a fever and once for spaying)
    and then I saw the old Hamilton. He ran all over and wanted me to
    chase him and he just played all night. It isn't always easy bringing
    in a new member to the family. Good luck!
    
    b.r., Hamilton & Abigail
     

    Re: .4
    
    It never occured to me to have one dish for more than one cat.  I have
    three food dishes and three water dishes for three cats, and they sit right
    in front of their own dishes when I'm putting food out....mayge having just
    one dish makes them nervous that they have to "compete" for food?
    

    
    
    	Yes, I think that more than one dish is goodness for
    	cats for the exact reason that they may feel a competitiveness
    	for meals. I have also heard separate litter boxes 
    	for territorial reasons but I haven't done that yet.
    	Besides, Catnip can go outside unless it is yuckky and
    	snowing or raining. So can that new kitten it looks like.
    	The first morning he was here, he asked to be let out
    	in the morning to take care of morning business. Since
    	then, he has been in the litter box non-stop.
    
    	Catnip still isn't her old self. But, she does seem to
    	be talking to me if that little upstart isn't around.
    	He does like to make sure I'm not doing anything with
    	food though. He goes into a total frenzy at the thought.
    	He went berserk last night at dinner time and tipped a
    	chair over on himself. No wonder Catnip thinks he is
    	strange. He also woke her up (she is now sleeping in
    	my underwear drawer but still won't come in the bed)
    	last night and antagonized her into chasing him downstairs.
    	I don't know what happened after that. All the furniture
    	seems to be intact this morning. I woke up with him in
    	my hair as per usual.
    					Kim/Catnippy/still_working_on_names
    

    re .1 and the goings
    
    God give I erred and you'll manage it. Better for the cats, too. 
    
    I had a very bad experience and had to give it up (old uncle did hardly
    eat, never came for caressing etc. and no sign of compromise from his
    side). I did not wanna pain him, after I tried for 3 days I gave the
    kitten my niece. After that all were happy again. Uncle noticed in a
    minute, that my niece will take the kitten away. As they went out, he
    sprang on my lap and purred. Well, we are owned by the cats...
    
    Hope yours will get used to one-another.
    
    Nat
    

    
    
    	Thanks Nat. I'm still not to sure you aren't right. But
    	I really want to give it a shot. Catnippy isn't her normal
    	"single cat" self but she doesn't seem as bad off as she
    	did last week. After the little monster went to sleep last
    	night (I wore him out with a mass paper wad assault), she
    	came to the kitchen and shook her tail at me and I served
    	her a nice bowl of canned cat food. She wiped it out. This
    	morning while I was getting ready for work, the little one
    	wanted to play and they chased around for a bit (taking turns
    	being the chaser and the chasee) and then when she had enough,
    	she turned around and whopped him a good one. I saw him outside
    	sitting in the sun behind the house and she was sleeping peacefully
    	on the stair landing. I hope this works. 
    
    				Kim Catnippy and The Monster
    

    Re: .5
    
      I guess I didn't quite say what I meant to in regards to eating
    together. Hamilton and Abby have their own dishes but she sometimes
    tries to eat with him out of his bowl and no matter how hungry he is
    he'll walk away until she's off somewhere else and then, when he comes
    back to eat by himself, keeps looking over his shoulder every few
    bites as if he expects her to disturb him again. Part of the problem
    is that Abby is a very outgoing, friendly little thing. Hamilton is 
    very reserved and not too sociable, though he is not what I would
    call unfriendly. But the two of them are EXACT opposites. I'm hoping
    to see them snuggled up and sleeping together some day, but I'm not
    holding my breath!
    
      It sounds like Catnip is warming up to the kitten a little. There's
    only one thing better than having a cat -- having two! I wish I could
    have a house full.
    
    b.r., Hamilton & Abigail
    

    I think that when adding a new cat folks should remember that it takes
    time to adjust.  Lots of time in some cases.  I am not talking a couple
    of days, or a couple of weeks, sometimes it takes a couple of months. 
    The key is to be patient, and hope for the best. 
    
    Jo