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Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

Title:Discussions from a Christian Perspective
Notice:Prostitutes and tax collectors welcome!
Moderator:CSC32::J_CHRISTIE
Created:Mon Sep 17 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1362
Total number of notes:61362

471.0. "On death, mourning, and those left behind" by CVG::THOMPSON (Radical Centralist) Wed Jun 17 1992 18:00

	I've been thinking about death, or rather people dieing, a lot lately.
	Simon Szeto's death started it but Ron's prayer request would probably
	have done it as well. You see my mother died when I was 10 and I have
	not completly gotten over it (only 28+ years ago).

	When someone dies, who do you morn for? The person who died or those
	they leave behind? Or both? If I know, or at least believe, that the
	dead was a believer I don't morn for the dead. They are with the
	Lord. Their suffering and trials are over.

	It is for the living that I feel truly sad. Spouses whose lonelyness
	will now be almost unbelievable. Children who will miss the loving and
	caring of a parent. Friends who will miss the company and advise of
	a dear person. And many people who will now never get the chance to
	know this person. This is the sadness of death.

			Alfred
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471.1CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace ReservistWed Jun 17 1992 20:3516
The Salvation Army has a euphemism for death.  They call it being "promoted
to glory."

And yes, I agree that in death there can be celebration and a sense of
triumph.  But more often for me, the ache from the loss of a loved one,
from the knowledge that that person will never be there again to do all
the things you remember them for, seems to create an unfillable hole.
Time and God heal the emptiness to some degree, but not completely.

In chaplaincy class, I learned it takes an average of *5* years to grieve
the loss of a loved one.  It's not something you get over at the funeral
or after a few days.  Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries are particularly
hard.

Peace,
Richard
471.2pointerCSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace ReservistWed Jun 17 1992 20:4510
Also see related topics:

	294 When Grief Comes...

	163 Memorials

	164 Your own memorial service	

Peace,
Richard
471.3nothing can separate us ...OLDTMR::FRANCEYM/L&CE SECG dtn 223-5427 pko3-1/d18Wed Jun 17 1992 20:477
    And I cannot bring mysel to the belief that it is ok for those who
    were believers that they were the ones or are the ones to be within
    range of thje glory of God.  God, to me, loves us beyond our 
    recognition of whom God is.  God loves us beyond our "worth".  I
    truly belive God loves my Mom regardless ...
    
    	Peace to you
471.4CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace ReservistWed Jun 17 1992 21:026
    .3
    
    Amen, Ron.  Amen.
    
    Peace be with you,
    Richard
471.6MICRON::HILDEBRANTI'm the NRAThu Jun 18 1992 10:1416
    Interesting topic. My father died last October from brain cancer. I
    have been helping my mother since then, and it sure hasn't been
    easy....
    
    I think that the hardest part  is that the changes in my children
    and the common things that I use to share with my father are now
    *NOT* possible.
    
    Also, I had been finally able to start having a father/son relationship
    that was much more loving.....just when he started to become sick and
    die. 
    
    Opportunities lost.
    
    
    Marc H.
471.7VIDSYS::PARENTmultiple lives, uncommon experienceThu Jun 18 1992 11:2324
   My experience with grief is um, extensive.  Between 1960 and 1979
   grandparents on both sides, father, mother, and older brother.  I
   didn't include sundry uncles or aunts.  This doesn't even touch
   my mother I adopted, who I miss dearly.

   Yes, their death left a hole, some cases were the start of peace
   for me.  I still grieve a for few even after all these years.
   The hardest were my parents as there was a damaged set of relationships
   that were not addressed before they died.  I'm still working on
   healing them today after 17 years.  It takes time.

   It is a process, several books have been written about it and are
   worthwhile if your interested in intellectual exercise.  

   It is possible to grieve for the living as well, changes bring that
   on. We lose a person we thought we knew and they are replaced with
   someone new, though familiar.  The process is the same, the denial,
   anger, acceptance, and the healing needed to get on with life.

   I rambled a bit but it's very hard for me to focus on this.

   Peace,
   Allison