T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
---|
441.1 | | CSC32::J_CHRISTIE | Peace: the Final Frontier | Tue Apr 21 1992 19:42 | 11 |
| Allison,
I'm certain it took a great deal of courage to reveal these
things about yourself with us. I'm not so certain I'd be able to
risk becoming vulnerable to the degree you have.
I'm glad you've chosen life. Suicide closes the door to so
many options.
Peace,
Richard
|
441.2 | | CARTUN::BERGGREN | Pummelled by poignancy | Tue Apr 21 1992 21:46 | 17 |
| Allison,
I greatly appreciate your openness and your striving to be true to
your self and the Higher Power in your life. Though we all have a
unique perspective and journey, at a certain level some are especially
so. In my life it has been the "kaleidascopic patterns" the differences
and commonalities which these perspectives create that I've come to see
and learn the most from.
Take heart that what the girl in the mirror might feel as lack of courage,
I, for one, see as incredible bravery.
Thanks for sharing your *self* and insights into your journey here.
And a very happy, albeit belated, birthday to you Allison Jean, (from
another '53 baby). A good year it was, yes? :-)
Karen
|
441.4 | | CARTUN::BERGGREN | Pummelled by poignancy | Tue Apr 21 1992 23:10 | 10 |
| Allison,
Okay, I'll accept being inspired by a chicken. :-) You know, that
reminds me of a definition I heard of courage years ago: courage is
not the absence of fear, but being able to take action in the face of
fear.
Karen
p.s. September 16 - a virgin....! :-)
|
441.6 | | OFFSHR::PAY$FRETTS | a visionary activist | Wed Apr 22 1992 09:12 | 31 |
|
Thank you for your courage Allison. As I sat here considering what
you have shared, I glanced over to where there is a poem hanging on
my cubicle wall and felt the urge to share it with you.
Love After Love - by Derek Walcott
The time will come
when with elation
you will greet yourself
arriving ar your own door
in your own mirror
and each will smile
at the other's welcome
and say sit here, eat
you will love again
this stranger who was yourself
give wine, give bread
give back your heart to itself
to the stranger who has loved you
all your life
who you ignored for another
who knows you by heart
take down the love letters
from the bookshelf
the photographs, the desperate notes
peel your own image from the mirror
sit and feast on your life
Carole
|
441.7 | Still learning! | CHEFS::PICKERINGB | W/W Services | Wed Apr 22 1992 09:25 | 10 |
| Allison,
Thank you for sharing. I do not understand it all, and I cannot
explain it, but I know God has a purpose for each one of us. I'm
praying that you may continue to fulfil His purpose for you.
Love,
Brian
|
441.8 | | ATSE::FLAHERTY | Wings of fire: Percie and me | Wed Apr 22 1992 10:12 | 14 |
| Allison,
I had remembered reading something by you awhile back when I used to
read -wn- notes so I was a little bit familiar with your background.
I admire your courage to share here and my support as a fellow traveler
along the spiritual path.
Your words here are inspirational and encouraging. I look forward to
meeting you in person at the C-P dinner.
Love to you,
Ro
|
441.9 | | AKOCOA::FLANAGAN | waiting for the snow | Wed Apr 22 1992 10:43 | 9 |
| Allison,
I hope you know that I think you are very courageous. I agree with
Nancy, that courageous does not mean not being afraid but being able to
act in spite of being afraid. You are who you are and I accept and
like you for who you are.
Patricia
|
441.11 | each of us is a mirror | ATSE::FLAHERTY | Wings of fire: Percie and me | Wed Apr 22 1992 10:56 | 9 |
| Allison,
I hope all in C-P will open their hearts to you and those that find
they can't will take a look at why they have hardened their hearts. I
suspect they will find it is their own fears that cause them to close
themselves off to other children of God.
Ro
|
441.12 | "my burden is light" | LGP30::FLEISCHER | without vision the people perish (381-0899 ZKO3-2/T63) | Wed Apr 22 1992 11:25 | 18 |
| re Note 441.5 by VIDSYS::PARENT:
> My general feeing that from many religious quarters the words I
> keep hearing is "lifes tough, and God wants it that way". I don't
> subscribe to that,
I don't subscribe to that either, especially since the Bible
seems to say that "life's tough because of the poor choices
we, and others, make" and that God explicitly didn't make
life tough in the first place and went to great lengths to
give us the means to be free of that toughness.
In Matthew 11, Jesus says: "Take my yoke upon you, and learn
of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find
rest unto your souls. For my yoke [is] easy, and my burden is
light." Any heavy burden is NOT of God, but of human origin.
Bob
|
441.13 | Ditto the support and a plea to reconsider at least one of your conclusions | CHGV04::ORZECH | Alvin Orzechowski @ACI | Wed Apr 22 1992 11:32 | 26 |
| First of all, Allison, I admire your courage too, and please consider
me a supporter as you strive to gain peace of mind and happiness in
whichever way of life you choose.
RE: .5
> The Catholic church has been especally intolerent, I don't exist
> in their viewpoint. That is why I'll never attend a mass again.
True, the "official" stance it takes would seem to be as you say. But
as a former member myself, my experience has been that the Catholic
Church in America (or, at least, in the Chicago Archdiocese) is as
varied as any Protestant denomination you can think of. If you feel
at home among Catholics, please consider shopping around for a parish
that is more accepting of your outlook. I'm thinking now of a friend
of mine who came out of the closet (his words) when he was diagnosed
with AIDS. He found a support group in one parish that was as great
comfort to him in his last years, and, among other activities, they
attended mass together regularly. Where the rubber meets the road,
Catholics are people too, and many of them (including priests) believe
the imitation of Christ sometimes calls for taking a stance in
opposition to "official" doctrine.
Peace,
Alvin
|
441.14 | | COLLIS::JACKSON | The Word became flesh | Wed Apr 22 1992 11:45 | 7 |
| Indeed, Allison, I feel your pain and I sympathize with
what you have gone through and continue to go through.
I hope you will feel loved and accepted despite the
disagreements that we have (and will continue to have!)
in this file.
Collis
|
441.15 | | DPDMAI::DAWSON | Ok...but only once | Wed Apr 22 1992 12:09 | 17 |
| RE: .0 Allison,
Well, I do not know really what I need to say here
but I know I need to say something. Your willingness to open your
hurts and pain may help others to open up within a comfortable place.
So far I have been *very* proud of the response here from all of the
members here to a most difficult situation to understand. I cannot
say that I understand what you have been going thru or even can I
imagine what your childhood must have been like. You were selected
as a moderator because of what we percieved as a mature personality
with the ability to be fair and just within the parameters of this
file. Your unique viewpoint on gender roles and sex is only a pleasent
surprise and not a qualification. I believe that this file is becoming
what I had always hoped it would be.
Dave
|
441.17 | | BSS::VANFLEET | Perspective. Use it or lose it. | Wed Apr 22 1992 13:30 | 7 |
| Allison -
Wow! I remember telling you how much I admired you when I met you last
summer at the _WN_ gathering. That goes even more so now.
hugs and support,
Nanci
|
441.20 | RE: .16 - guess I misread you. :^( | CHGV04::ORZECH | Alvin Orzechowski @ACI | Wed Apr 22 1992 17:00 | 23 |
| RE: .16
> ................................................... It is fortunate
> for me that I have moved on spritually and found another growth path
> for my beliefs.
Great. :^D May you find happiness and meaning there.
Sorry. I replied as I did because I thought maybe your expression of
bitterness (justifiable too, to my mind) might also be an indirect way
of asking for a way to continue a relationship with the Roman Catholic
church. As my friend's story illustrated, there are others in
situations similar to yours who find that they have such an ache. The
R.C. church is a large and old institution. It changes, but does so
very slowly, and those changes that have occurred came about because
of the influence of members who saw the errors in doctrine and
continued on to witness for the Truth. This takes courage, too, but I
think those that love this ancient organization will always find
kindred spirits there.
Peace,
Alvin
|
441.22 | let's add music to .0 | OLDTMR::FRANCEY | USS SECG dtn 223-5427 pko3-1/d18 | Wed Apr 22 1992 17:22 | 10 |
| As I was reading the basenote a few minutes ago, I was on "hold" on the
business telephone. Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" was playing beautifully
in the background. As I read the words and heard the sound, goose
bumps went all over my body. God speaks to us in such meaningful ways,
doesn't she?
Regards,
Ron
|
441.23 | another RC viewpoint | OLDTMR::FRANCEY | USS SECG dtn 223-5427 pko3-1/d18 | Wed Apr 22 1992 17:40 | 23 |
| re: .20
[... and those changes that have occurred came about because
of the influence of members who saw the errors in doctrine
and continued on to witness for the Truth.]
I'm remembering what Hans Kung, a noted RC Theologian from Tubingen,
wrote in "On Being a Christian" re RC Doctrine. He states as an answer
to the question on how one can look upon the current RC Doctrine in
light of the older RC Doctrine, that the "truth" was always there, it
just took until now to find it!
Even though Kung has lost his rights of Priesthood from Rome, in fact,
in his Jubilee (25th) year, he writes that he will always remain a
Roman Catholic.
No religious "system" is perfect; God knows that and loves us
regardless.
Shalom,
Ron
|
441.24 | y | TFH::KIRK | a simple song | Thu Apr 23 1992 15:53 | 9 |
| Allison,
What can I say? Thanks for sharing.
Love & ((hugs)),
Jim
out sick this last week and catching up...
|
441.25 | It could have been dealt with at 5 1/2... | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Thu Apr 23 1992 16:48 | 51 |
| RE: Basenote
In traditional African culture they would have forced you to manhood.
Given you a little help making the adjustment to your physical
condition...
I've got six brothers, and no sisters. My baby brother, David, started
out with early signs of transexual behavior. He's favorite playmate
was a little girl up the street name Phyllis (our parent's would refer
to them as David and Phyllis Newman when the played together, in jest).
But David, began to show signs of wanting to be like a girl. Maybe he
was born with those kinds of feelings, I don't know, but we STOPPED him
from playing with Phyllis, and STOPPED him from putting on lipstick and
STOPPED him from doing anything like girls do.
We wrestled him. We boxed him, and made him fight back. We got him
out there playing football. We got him playing softball. We got him
out there running the banks of the river with us (there was a river
across the street and along the banks was trails and further away a
boat dock.) We got him doing a lot of things, that help him into
MANhood, not WOMENhood.
Now, I don't know, a maybe he's suppressed his desire very deeply. But
I don't believe he's participate in homosexual activities, and he's
always to my knowledge dated females...again maybe he just doesn't show
it to us. But for the most part he's doing OK. He was in the service a
few years, in the Army. He's quite athletic. He's a good looking man
now, 31 years old now, and still hasn't revealed any homosexual
activities.
Now, I do have one brother who has been involved with homosexual
activities, that's Kevin...but he's been in the penitentary for the
majority of his adult life...and picked it up there...but he doesn't
express himself in a feminine way either, and if it weren't for
circumstances (I guess) he'd not have done that...and the FIRST thing
he looks for when he gets out is a WOMAN so.
I say all that to say I understand your feelings, but I also know what
can be done about it. In the Bible or some religious bible, maybe it
was African religion, it says that we should adjust to the physical
as best we can...I just think in the long run, though you may not be
totally happy, I don't think you'd ever feel ashamed of being with a
woman as you might be with a man, and therefore wouldn't have strong
feelings of a suicidal nature. Actually, the dominance over the
passion and urge to be with other man could result in a stronger you.
Succombing to passions, whatever they be, usually is good for only
short term happiness anyway.
God bless...
Playtoe
|
441.26 | | ATSE::FLAHERTY | Wings of fire: Percie and me | Thu Apr 23 1992 17:14 | 11 |
| Playtoe,
I wish you had understood Allison's basenote more clearly. She
explains that homosexuality and transexuality are not the same.
I know you were trying to be kind and you were very open and sharing
about your family and I thank you for that. However, you're missing
something important in her note.
Ro
|
441.27 | | CSC32::J_CHRISTIE | Peace: the Final Frontier | Thu Apr 23 1992 18:25 | 12 |
| Playtoe .25,
You're talking about something very different than Allison is.
You may be interested to know that I, too, played far more often with
girls than with boys as a child. It may come as a surprise to you that I am
quite secure in my heterosexuality as an adult male. Actually, I'm quite
grateful than no one tried to make me become "macho" or "jock." Too many
of the "Man's man" types see women as an entirely different species.
Peace,
Richard
|
441.29 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 14:21 | 24 |
| re: 26
I am not missing that important point. I dealt with both separately,
or did you miss that important point in my note.
The transexuality defined by Allison, as being the feminine dominating
in the body of the masculine is understandable, I've had a little
brother like that. On the other hand, homosexuality, I've got a
brother in the pen that does that too...though he's not transexual.
I've got a brother who's transexual but has not to my knowledge been
involved with homosexual activities, and I have a brother who's
participated in homosexual activities, but is not transexual. Did you
get that message from my note?
But overall, I was saying that the transexual, in African social
practice, is encouraged to adjust to the physical as best they can,
this is the best way, the least troublesome to the mind and soul,
according to Africans. Now you may or may not agree that is the best
way, like some don't think excision is the best thing, but hey, we all
have our entitlements, and grant Africa and Africans it's own, starting
here and starting right now...
Playtoe
|
441.30 | I know perfectly well what Allison is saying...do you? | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 14:39 | 23 |
| RE: 27
I too played with girls, perhaps not MORE OFTEN than the fellas, but as
much as I could!;-0 That's not the point. The point is "emulating"
feminine behavior, putting on lip stick, wearing dresses, acting like a
(please excuse this term, I mean no offense, but it's the most
applicable term to this situation) "sissy"...my little brother acted
like one. And I define it to mean the deliberate effort of males to
to exhibit conduct comely for females, designed to attract the male.
So my little brother was fine until he started the lipstick and shoes
and dresses and girly talk...did you ever do that sort of stuff.
I'd appreciate you folks not trying to control my mind like this. It's
clear you don't understand Africanity and don't accept their
ideas...not that you have any better ones, and you don't. But the
"rightness of whiteness" makes you arrogantly think so!
I'm black talking black to black...so please stand back.
Thank you.
Playtoe
|
441.31 | | DEMING::VALENZA | Karaoke naked. | Fri Apr 24 1992 15:02 | 29 |
| For the record, I am a North American; I was born and raised in the
United States. I am not European, I am not African, I am not Asian, I
am not Antarctican.
Each culture has its own practices; many cultural differences represent
innocuous local customs, where no one culture can claim to be "better"
than another. Other cultural differences are not so innocuous; as a
human being, I have an interest in the suffering that is imposed on
people everywhere.
Some kind of balance is thus necessary. Events and practices in all
parts of the world are not immune to evaluation simply because they
happen in other cultures than my own. On the other hand, that doesn't
mean that we can judge what are otherwise innocuous differences simply
because they don't jibe with what we are used to. Finding that balance
may not always be easy where ambiguity arises, but in other cases it is
rather clear cut. What happened at Tiannamen Square, for example, was
not just an internal Chinese affair; it was horrible, and I stand in
judgment of what happened. The practice of excision is another example
of a horrible and barbaric practice directed at women in some cultures,
and that too I condemn.
Cultural evaluation applies to my own culture. Although I am a North
American, I don't approve of every cultural practice in my native land,
and some of them I find quite offensive. Other practices I admire.
And others I accept as simply innocuous practices unique to my own
society, no better or worse than others.
-- Mike
|
441.32 | Same Old...Same Old | FLOWER::HILDEBRANT | I'm the NRA | Fri Apr 24 1992 15:04 | 8 |
| Re: .30
Ahh Playtoe...you sure have way of taking these replies and moving them
to your way. I'm really getting tired of having every discussion turn
into a white verses black slant. Can't we just discuss things from a
"Christian Perspective?"
Marc H.
|
441.33 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 15:23 | 106 |
| RE: 28
> Not absolutly true, this was documented author Jan Morris, formally
> James Morris.
True not everyone is traditionally inclined.
> Interesting, unfortunately inaccurate diagnosis. Amoung the things
> I did as a kid, I lived in a neighborhood of all boys. I used to race
> anything, karts, bikes, motorcycles and still would like to get back to
> some of those things. Amoung my peers I was larger and faster and
> outwardly not feminine. It was clear in my household that it was
> DANGEROUS to exhibit that behavour. I did not cross dress or play with
< makeup, I want/wanted be female not just look like one. That is the
> difference between cross dressing and transsexualism, the total and
> complete drive to be in body the opposite sex.
Oh no, not an inaccurate diagnosis. In our home it hadn't be clarified
about the danger of exhibiting transsexual behevior...cross dressing is
secondary to transexualism. My brother was quite young and didn't know
any better, he was just doing what HE thought was right according to
the way he felt...if you didn't cross dress because of the DANGER but
held it latently inside THAT probably causes more of a problem than
anything else..."stolen waters are sweetest" kind of thing, sneaking
about doing it.
My brother expressed it and we acknowledged it, at an early stage, it
wasn't something we tried to hide and deny, but we all shared in it
with and we kept his confidentiality about it...we didn't go around
broadcasting and embarrassing him about it, but we programatically
amongst ourselves dealt with it.
NO is wasn't an inaccurate diagnosis, that is not consistent with the
fact that we succeeded in curbing the expression of behavior uncomely
to a man, which could have caused him greater repressive states of
being.
> suppressed transsexual (very unlikely, read the stats I posted). This
Suppression is truly not the answer, it is a matter of redefining or
learning a different way of interpreting those urges that you THINK are
those of a feminine inside your masculine body. How do you KNOW that
those inner desires, urges or sensations are feminine in nature? Or
why do those sensations have to cause the reaction/response you tend to
naturally make or interpret them to mean.
Like in Christianity, life doesn't change, but what happens is that the
Bible teaches us a new way of interpreting the same old life we've been
living, and that's all we did for lil bro. I have no doubt that if we
had not help bro then he'd have become gay...I know he has this
transexual feeling or had it, but he's learned to renew his thinking
about those feelings, and nature hasn't played a dirty trick on him.
What makes you think that those feelings you feel are so feminine
anyway?
The fact is our culture, or American culture, is such that it takes
those borderline sensations of the male and defines them as feminine
and encourages them in both sexes...read "The Conspiracy to Destroy
Black Boys," by Jawanza Kunjufu.
You say you have pictures of all this masculine activities you partake
of and like...it's not about that either. My brother doesn't go all
out to be in masculine circles, or activities, and we didn't try to
teach him that point...though we used that sort of thing in our method
of helping him redefine his urges...I mean instead of those urges being
feminine why couldn't they be "flamboyant" male sensations. Don't you
know many pimps of the old days (50's & 60's) felt that way...pimping
was one of those ways of showing manhood like your pictures show. "How
can I be that way, when I PIMP", is like "How can I be that way when I
sail, hike canoe, play football, etc."
> Whats the point? Though I had the opportunity to try many things, none
> of those things define a man or could make me one. You may either
That's my point, but you say those urges inside you define you as a
female inside a males body...what makes a man a man or a woman a woman?
We're talking about social adjustment, personal happiness, and the
interpretation of "differentiated, but undefined" impulses from within.
Who defines the feelings you feel? Those feelings don't come with
definitions...am I right or wrong? At least my feelings don't come
defined. I feel hungry, but what to eat is my choice. I feel sexy,
but how the express that is my choice. You may feel sexy but does that
make you express that as women do? Or the only social definition you
learned of "sexy" was associated with women? How does a sexy man
express himself? Have you noticed how "sexy male" use to mean "macho
male", "hunk male", but now that Macho Man has been suppressed more
"sexy males" are coming out GAY...because that's the only way society
teaches sex in expression, as females attracting males. So when you
feel sexy you tend to express it as a "female attracts males".
You see, black people are beautiful, and have a great deal of pride and
self confidence in BEING SELF. Power and MANHOOD is not equated in
Africa, because the man and woman shared equal power. But look into
the expressions of "sexyness" in African culture and you'll see what
I'm saying.
Playtoe, In the Spirit of Truth
And don't let it upset you if you ever come the realization that this
society failed you....and they lied about the savage and barbarian,
ignorant and backward black African...Just be glad you finally found
peace and love and truth.
God bless.
|
441.35 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 15:54 | 30 |
| RE: 32
> Ahh Playtoe...you sure have way of taking these replies and moving them
> to your way. I'm really getting tired of having every discussion turn
> into a white verses black slant. Can't we just discuss things from a
> "Christian Perspective?"
What is the "Christian Perspective"? I didn't know it was a specific
doctrine. To bad the Gnostics and Roman Catholics didn't find that
"Christian Perspective, maybe the Gnostic could have lived.
I'm of African descent my friend and well aware of how Europeeans have
interpreted things differently than my ancestors. It's right for them,
if that's what they want, but it's not the standard for the world.
I don't see it as a white vs black thang, I see it just as a black
thang for ME, now if you want to fight we me about that and condemn my
perception of life then we may have a problem.
The past has it that now black people don't know anything about
themselves, and I teach them about their true history, something that
has been neglected. You may be tired of the same old same old...but
not really because if you were you get tired of the same old same stuff
YOU been doing too!
What's your problem with that? Actually I have a GREAT deal more to
say about African culture, in contrast to American culture, which may
be good for us all...if you're tired now, wait until tomorrow!
Playtoe
|
441.36 | | FLOWER::HILDEBRANT | I'm the NRA | Fri Apr 24 1992 16:12 | 39 |
|
Ahh Playtoe...you sure have way of taking these replies and moving them
to your way. I'm really getting tired of having every discussion turn
into a white verses black slant. Can't we just discuss things from a
"Christian Perspective?"
> What is the "Christian Perspective"? I didn't know it was a specific
> doctrine. To bad the Gnostics and Roman Catholics didn't find that
> "Christian Perspective, maybe the Gnostic could have lived.
* Explain Please..new note? *
> I'm of African descent my friend and well aware of how Europeeans have
> interpreted things differently than my ancestors. It's right for them,
> if that's what they want, but it's not the standard for the world.
* I'm not a European *
> I don't see it as a white vs black thang, I see it just as a black
> thang for ME, now if you want to fight we me about that and condemn my
> perception of life then we may have a problem.
* I would like the replies to stay on track*
The past has it that now black people don't know anything about
themselves, and I teach them about their true history, something that
has been neglected. You may be tired of the same old same old...but
not really because if you were you get tired of the same old same stuff
YOU been doing too!
* Don't understand???*
What's your problem with that? Actually I have a GREAT deal more to
say about African culture, in contrast to American culture, which may
be good for us all...if you're tired now, wait until tomorrow!
* Put it in a separate note please*
> Playtoe
Marc H.
|
441.37 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 16:50 | 117 |
| re 34
> He likely was not transsexual, that diagnosis is generally not made
> before puberty. It could have been fetishistic transvestism instead
Not true, according to those who are now claiming one is BORN gay.
I was talking just a few minutes ago with a coworker about this and
they too failed to see my point...but I'll tell you what I was saying
to her.
When black males in America, say twenty years ago, wanted to "attract
females" they walk a certain way, we called it "catting", or "pimping",
that was suppressed...we can't walk that way and be socially accepted
in America any more.
This is just ONE of the ways African males express "sexiness". There's
a saying "White men don't have sex", it was said not because they don't
have sex, but because they don't have cultural gestures by which to
express themselves in a sexy way.
Blacks have also, the "RAP", sweet talking, which is a way of
expressing their "sexiness"...again white males aren't much for "sweet
talking", as we know it...and that sort of talk is suppressed.
> Your assumption of peace of mind certainly is not borne out in
> practice. Yes, it would be easier physically and somewhat socially
> to remain male, it however runs counter to an imperative in in my mind
> that would always know different. It is definately similar to being
I say that "peace of mind" is dependent upon how others think of you,
and not solely upon what you personally think of you. Even if you do
what you think is best, but others don't think so, you don't have peace
of mind because THEY aren't happy with you...
> Africa like I've said before is a diverse land, with many variations in
> culture. Within the cultures you are aware of and know, that may have
< been the way it was handeled. I am aware of some different parts of
It is not as diverse as we have been lead to believe. The variations
we see do not run to the bone of life...the bone is alway the same.
For an understanding of the cultural unity of Africa you might try
reading the book "Cultural Unity of Africa" by Diop, who outlines this
unity. And more specifically, look into the Dogon Tribe of West
Africa, a Priestcraft tribe, who were directly responsible for
maintaining that cultural unity.
Did you know that the term "Mandinka" is not simply a tribal name, but
is the name of a language as well, as in "Mandinka speaking
people"...like the "Hebrew speaking people", all Hebrew speaking people
aren't of the nation of Hebrew/Israel. And that Mandinka speaking
people cover the whole of West Africa, from Senegal to the Sudan below
the Sahara, including Ivory Coast, Ghana, Togo, Mali, Volta, Nigeria,
etc. The Fulbe, Ashanti, Bozo, Bambara, Koukore, and others are all
"Mandinka speaking people", and then there is the tribe of Mande, which
are the center of Mandinka speakers, of which the Dogon say they came
from Mande prior to where they were found in the hills of Mali. They
went there during the Islamization thrusts of Arabia, refusing to
convert.
There's much about Africa we don't know, besides what has been falsely
reported.
Anyway, I'm saying the how a man is to properly express his natural
urge to be sexy is not shown is "modern" society...what is it, a
primitive urge? And homosexuality is in vogue? Sex changes is the
modern way of expressing male "sexiness"? If you want to be "sexy" and
you're a man, you should have the operation? What?
I'm just saying there's other ways, and I'd say they are better. I
don't need an operation to express "sexy". The problem is this, as
express in the essay "the Rightness of Whiteness". If you don't do it
like whites say something is "wrong" with the way you do it. For
instance the Asian with "slanted eyes", whites tend to say something
must be "wrong" with their eyes...and many Asian-Americans get the
operation. For example, the "wide nose" of Africans, something is
"wrong" with it, so some get the operation. Our hair, something is
"Wrong" with it, so we get the Jeri Curl operation. Our skin color,
something is "Wrong" with it, so we get it changed. The way we talk is
wrong, so we change it. The way we think is wrong, so we change it.
That's just the way they've been conditioned to think and react to
difference...I don't cater to that, and don't allow them to impose
their standards upon me! I'm not them nor like them, and I'm fine,
intelligent and well put together by God...I feel good.
I don't need an operation...I'm not sick or wrongly made. My skin is
beautiful, my hair is the best for all seasons, my thoughts are divine,
and my words can save the world because they are from God...I am fine.
I am not ashamed to express my "sexiness" to attract a female.
It's a profound subject, the matter of "sexiness" in males, but
Africans excel Europeans in human sciences...and for such matters I
have to go to the African Model for the best help.
I'm not wrong because you don't agree, or that this whole Western World
doesn't agree...remember that I'm not originally a Westerner! So I'm
subject to be at odds with the majority... but also remember "majority
rule" has never been a validation of truth. Some say, "If everybody
here is against you, doesn't that prove you are wrong?" I say no, all
it proves is the everybody here is against me! But that doesn't make
me wrong, it just alienates me from them...but am I alienated from God?
If you think, or if any of you think, about what I'm saying, I know
you'll find this the most profoundest thinking on the subject you've
ever heard. I've gone over it in mind several times, and compared it
with reality to see if it is reflected there and I come up with
infinity examples of it. Here you folks are, having NO clue to the
answer to this thing, telling me I'm wrong yet have no suggestions how
to fix it...except to get an operation...typical response.
You don't have to agree with me or accept my ideas, but don't tell me
they're wrong, because you don't have the answers either, if you did
THEN you'd have grounds to call me wrong, but as it is you don't!
Playtoe
|
441.39 | You aren't the standard bearer, Marc! | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 17:05 | 36 |
| re: 36
> * Explain Please..new note? *
Please explain "Christian Perspective"?
> * I'm not a European *
This is European society. I'm not European either, but I've been raise
to speak, think and act like one! This sure aint China!
> * I would like the replies to stay on track*
On WHO's track? You mean you'd like replies to stay within your
standards and ability to comprehend and relate to...because my replies
are on track as I see it.
> * Don't understand???*
What makes you feel you HAVE too? And if you don't what makes you feel
*I* need to change something...I wasn't talking to you anyway!
> * Put it in a separate note please*
Why? I'm talking about the Black (Afrocentric) Christian Perspective
of Religion and Gender. What that's not acceptable here?
I'm tired of this subtle discrimination in these notes. And whenever
you want to escalate this issue, I'm ready!
This is "Christian Perspective", it doesn't say European Christian
Perspective, or Catholic, or Baptist or NON-African...but you telling
me AFrican perspective isn't allowed here?
Playtoe, In the Spirit of Truth
|
441.42 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 17:49 | 22 |
| re: 41
Allison, I'm responding to the topic as I see it. I don't believe in
what you are perceiving. Transexuals are not a reality for me. I
don't believe that URGES are such that define personality, but
necessarily how you respond to or express those urges defines your
personality. I'm saying it's a matter of acculturation that cause one
to THINK that "I'm a transexual".
So it is related to the topic, but it's that YOU and others don't agree
with it. This the correct topic for these ideas. And the only reason
I mention Africanity is to offer the source of my info, so that too is
relevant.
If you don't think it's relevent, DON'T respond. But don't tell me
it's not for this topic, because I believe it is...am I wrong? I
thought there is not "right or wrong"? We all perceive things
differently. What?
Anyone, I've finished...the food is on the table.
Playtoe, IN the Spirit of Truth
|
441.43 | Please open up a new topic | CARTUN::BERGGREN | uncovering that which is precious. | Fri Apr 24 1992 18:13 | 24 |
| Playtoe .37,
>> He likely was not transsexual, that diagnosis is generally not made
>> before puberty. It could have been fetishistic transvetism instead
> Not true, according to those who are now claiming one is BORN gay.
....
> This is just one of the ways African males express sexiness...
You are confusing the issues at hand, and not hearing the message
to help you understand that transsexualism _does not_ equate to being
gay, nor to issues of how one displays "sexiness."
I also request that you open up another topic to discuss the issues you
wish, so that this topic can stay on closer track to the base-noter's
original intention.
Thank you,
Karen
Co-moderator,
Christian-Perspective
|
441.45 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Fri Apr 24 1992 20:41 | 54 |
| re:44
Personally I have no desire to get into anyone's personal and specific
problems, confusions of mind or whatever, and I really don't think this
international conference file is a place I'd care to discuss it...;-)
Instead I responded to the general idea of what you presented as a
topic, the idea of being "transexual"...is the spirit divided? Can the
spirit generate a male body if it is a female? Does nature make such
errors, or is it we don't understand TRUE human nature? Perhaps it's
NOT an error, and just maybe it's a valid and deliberate manifestation.
And that brings up the question, What makes you interpret the urges
inside as being those of a women, inside a male body?
I don't know what you're interests are or your past accomplishments.
But I know the realm in which we live, I know Western civilization and
culture. I explained how this culture doesn't offer men much in terms
of models or modes of expression for "sexy-female attractiveness". I
used the term "sexy" inside of sex/sexual, because "sexy" is
expression, and that's what the problem is, it's a matter of
"expression".
Although you made a personal confession in the basenote, I wouldn't
touch it and don't plan to. But again, I spoke to the general issue...
Believe me, I KNOW where you're coming from, perhaps every man does,
like Richard suggested...varying only by "intensity". That so many
"homosexuals" and "transexuals" and "transvestites" exist in this
country is due to elements of THIS culture, not that more and more men
and women are born with opposing natures inside, born naturally with
inner conflicts of interest. A person is not born naturally confused.
If you don't think that a person could be conditioned by the age of 5
before they even go to school you are DEAD wrong. I've got a report on
preschoolers and dolls, you know the black doll vs white doll choice
thing, as well as some other aspects of testing that same group and it
reveals the at that early age the children have ALREADY be conditioned
that BLACK dolls are bad and white is good...HOW? TV that's how.
Same thing goes with expressions of "male" "sexyness/female
attraction". Can any man go to his wardrobe and show me the clothes
you consider "sexy"? Now how about you women? Right? Men just
don't have proper models/modes for expressing their "sexyness". And
the only models they have are females...and from childhood, for those
boys who want to be "sexy" it becomes a "female" characteristic. Even
between guys, we never speak of being "sexy"...I never ask my partner
"do I look SEXY" for them babes"...no, it's not proper. I put on
something MANLY but not SEXY. Perhaps, it is sexy to me, but I don't
think of Man=SEXY it's WOMEN = SEXY...am I right or wrong? This is
just general stuff, nothing personal.
It's on the topic, but not as personal as you presented it...
Playtoe
|
441.47 | | SA1794::SEABURYM | Zen: It's Not What You Think | Fri Apr 24 1992 23:37 | 31 |
|
Re.0
I am not sure what if anything a person's gender has to
do with their religious life. Of course I am notoriously
thick skulled about matters that involve fine points
of theology.
My understanding of the role of religion in a persons
life is that it helps them understand what they have to offer
to the world and help finds ways to utilize these gifts.
To do this one needs to know who they are and from what I
have read you are quite clear about it at this point in
your life. I can easily believe that you are enjoying better
physical and mental health now that you feel confident in
who you are.
As for your dilemma about how to reach the clergy who would
keep you in the closet or pretend you don't exist, that's a
tough one. It's hard enough to deal with my stupidity and
ignorance I have no idea what to do about someone else's.
You might suggest that they actually become familiar with
the teachings of Christ ( Radical idea, huh ?). This might
open there hearts enough so that they realize that love,
compassion and understanding are how we should deal with
our fellow beings.
As Shakespeare wrote, "This above all things, to thine own
self be true." You seem to being doing that, so I tend to
think that while you may face many difficulties and obstacles
being true to who you are will see you through them.
Mike
|
441.49 | | FLOWER::HILDEBRANT | I'm the NRA | Mon Apr 27 1992 09:39 | 5 |
| Re: .39
Discriminate? Hardly Playtoe. Once again, I'm gone from this note .
Marc H.
|
441.50 | This is on the topic....... | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 13:03 | 54 |
| Re: 43
Karen
> You are confusing the issues at hand, and not hearing the message
> to help you understand that transsexualism _does not_ equate to being
> gay, nor to issues of how one displays "sexiness."
I have not confused the issue! I don't believe that the issue as
stated is valid, and is actually misrepresenting, misperceiving basic
natural urges/desires/drives...and that there's no such thing as a
"women trapped inside a man's body, or vice versa".
Just because you believe you're right doesn't make you so, and it
doesn't matter how many agree with you!
This comes of BASENOTE:
> I was born in March '53 and christened John Parent. At age 5 1/2
> I recieved a beating for asking why is my name John not Jane or Jean.
> The answer was simple your a boy. My first lesson about my gender
> conflict, don't tell anyone, it's a bad thing.
> Let me stop here and say gender is not sex. Gender is the expression
> of personality in masculine or feminine terms. Sex is a biological
> description of how you are assembled. My body appeared male then,
> the persona is feminine. That statement is the core of me. I am
> incongruent, my head does not match my body. There is a name for
> this, Transsexualism. This challenges the thing most consider the
> most unchangeable constant of life.
I've been addressing these statements. I'm saying this is an untrue
perception of reality, and the problem is in American culture which
suppresses and and inhibits, or fails to provide modes of expressing
feminine aspects of males. In India, there are many guys like this,
but they don't feel like a TRANSEXUAL, FEMALE TRAPPED IN A MALE BODY.
I know what I'm talking about, and have answer, you don't know what
you're talking about and support the illness/problem...
I'm saying that by the time a child reaches 5 they could have had the
exposure, via TV, to prompt a child to this sort of thinking...my
brother was one his way...He had those very same attitudes. He was
thinking he was girl...I doesn't have much body hair, he's a very
good looking person...I know what I'm talking about! Maybe you need to
MEET David, my brother, for you to realize what I'm saying.
I'm telling you NOW, that it's the culture, which produces so many gays
and lesbians...by failing to offer outlets for masculine behavior in
females and vice versa...I know what I'm saying...YOU and JOHN don't
know what the truth is...and really don't seem to CARE! That's OK, but
don't tell me I'M wrong...
Playtoe, In the Spirit of Truth.
|
441.51 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 13:08 | 12 |
| RE: 50
Another thing, we never BEAT, or beat up on David, for what he was
thinking, we just picked him up and walked him BACK over to the other
side of the room...so to speak. He'd been playing on the wrong side of
the room, that's all.
I won't speak on the very personal issue of John Parent's parents
treatment of him and I don't think a public forum is good..."Honor thy
mother and father"....
But I will speak to the general issues...
|
441.52 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 13:25 | 34 |
| Re: 44
> Please respect the fact I am the transsexual and I have studied the
> subject most of my life. I assure you there are things I'd rather be,
> this isn't one of them. The fact that you don't percieve me as knowing
> myself, I cannot help you with that.
I mean no disrespect, it is no disrespect.....I don't agree, I don't
believe in what you say "Transexual" as "a female in a male body".
We study and find support for what we want to believe...that's a fact.
As much as you feel you've studied in support of your belief, I've
found to support mine...and mine's has a bigger "global" following
than your's!
> Please don't try to teach me how to attract women. I'm not interested,
> it does not concern this topic.
That wasn't the point of my replies...where did you get this idea?
> Though I have discussed the topic from my perspective as a male to
> female transsexual there are female to male transsexuals as well.
You bet cha....that's what I'm saying! This dichotomic thinking people
have made it hard for BOTH sexes to express the fullest of life.
But more than this, this "Confusion of Mind" is not new...Black's are
inferior because they're black, white's are superior because they're
white, is another side of it "Racism and Sexism" are brother and
sister....in all your studies you've never studied it like this.
With all respects, please give me some!
Playtoe
|
441.55 | | CARTUN::BERGGREN | uncovering that which is precious. | Mon Apr 27 1992 14:31 | 28 |
| Playtoe .50,
> I have not confused the issue! I don't believe that the issue as
> stated is valid...
re: .42,
> Transsexuals are not a reality for me.
Yes, after reading .42 and subsequent notes I have seen that you are
absolutely correct, Playtoe - you are not "confusing" the issue at all.
In fact, I can understand why you were equating transsexualism with
gayness and cultural expressions of "sexiness" and sexual attraction.
If we want to "discuss" something we don't acknowledge, the only way
to do so is to "translate" it to something we do acknowledge. I hate
to tell you this though: you're losing something _essential_ in the
translation. Imho.
But I really do appreciate your notes, whether or not I agree with your
ideas. I've learned a tremendous amount about transsexualism in the past
few days; thanks very much for your contribution to that. I mean that
sincerely. I also think you've raised some interesting cultural differ-
ences worth discussion, though I don't feel this is the best note for that.
Thank you too for your good advice - I do hope you heed it as
well: "Just because you believe you're right doesn't make you so."
Karen
|
441.56 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 14:43 | 97 |
| Re: 46
> Unless I have a specific reason or purpose, I don't dress up "sexy".
Over the weekend I've gone and asked several men, "How many articles of
clothing do you have in your closet that you consider "SEXY"? NOT ONE
said they had anything they considered "sexy" for a man...that ought to
tell you something!
I'm not going over this again...I believe I've supported my point.
Now you support your's! Show me scripture, show me survey's regarding
your theory's, show me your evidence! I'll show you mine.
> Valid point. Though how did we get to dressing sexy? You introduced
I'm saying this. Wanting to be "sexy" is only for women in America.
But America denies the expression of men as "sexy"...men have no
clothes or ornamentation, like the female does, by which they can
adorn themselves to appear "sexy"...
Over the weekend, I spoke to an older white man, and he said "I think
it's because this is a Christian society." I said, "Let's not blame
this on Christianity." But now that I think of it, he has a good
point...where in the bible does it indicate "sexy" for males? It
speaks of only women as sexy...with bells and scents and eyes and
paints and scanty dress, etc....but no men are depicted as "sexy". So
maybe it has much to do with modern Christianity.
> it but, how does that relate to spritual development when clergy cannot
> or will not do more than repeat dogma?
Perhaps you might perceive why clergy don't care to discuss it.
> You have spoken to by alluding to confusion, and perceptions. I
> included it as a point of reference so people might have an idea of
> where I have come from. My subject was coupled to the idea and reality
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Is that necessary? Why not just open the issue with generic examples
of situations, which you may really have gone through but we don't know
that. Why is it important that we know where "YOU'VE" been...the
trouble you've seen. I don't ever speak of personal troubles...it's
not necessary. I put those general issues out there and glean truth
just like everyone else...
> No you don't your not even close. This is not an european culture
> unique situation. It has been practiced for centuries in the far east.
> You would agree that is a different culture than this?
What has been practiced in the far east for centuries?
> I do understand Palovian psychology. Again you labour to prove or
> disprove me or my kind, thereby sidestepping the issue I have
> presented. I will repeat some info to refresh your memory.
No not Pavlovian theory...we're talking B.F. Skinner Theory and
Gestault Theory...Behavorial Psychology....Skinner goes BEYOND Pavlov.
> Both my parents were clear in their ideas of what
> men and women were. My father was a rugged strong person and not
That may be true, but that isn't to say that what we are clear on is
necessarily the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
> shy either. I am not of the baby in front of the TV generation.
> I even grew up in a racially mixed area. Where did the cinditioning
> come from? Lets see my mother had a difficult pregnancy with me,
They weren't able to penpoint the source of conditioning that caused
the preschoolers to pick the white doll and get "angry" or "afraid" at
seeing a black one...but they'd been conditioned, and primarily it came
from TV, but what programs or whatever was not discussed.
> assume that is true for a minute as well. When you use the mode of
> communication of "man to man" you lose me. Even though I am
Only because what we have conditioned to be "manly" is expressively
what has served to convince you you're personality must be feminine.
The "man" and "women" are two hardline opposite realities in America
and there's no in between...either you are a man and do THIS or you're
not a "man" and you must be "women inside a man's body", "less than a
man"...etc...I know all about it...all of it's false! All of it is
part of the conditioning process.
> passions then men. I feel that statement by you is illiteration to
> the concept that men and women think differently. I submit I think
That's mighty Western of you! How different is different? Totally
different? Slightly different? Hardly different at all?
> As much as I try we do not communicate, though I noticed one thing.
> you mode of interaction with me carries the same tone as with other
> women.
And what does that mean? My tone is irrelevent...beauty is in the eyes
of the beholder. We're discussing ideas...not personalities.
|
441.57 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 15:12 | 43 |
| RE: 53
> You seem to insist I am gay. The problem here is I am NOT interested
> in men, sexually or otherwise.
That's fine, I didn't say that you were. I'm speaking only of self
perception...however, in some men it does lead to "homosexuality".
In the book of Marvin Gaye, "Divided Soul", (have you read this book?)
it speaks about this a little. Marvin's real last name is "Gay", he
added the "e". His father wore "flower printed shirts, and liked
lace". The first women Marvin had was a prostitute, he felt that this
perverted or gave him a low opinion of women from then on...he was a
playboy for life...It's quite a book, but his father wasn't a
homosexual either.
> I maintain the position of I do what is necessary to do for my health
> and sanity. Your position is one of maintaining me as the defective
> result of a defective society. Yet by doing that you actually justify
> the base notes position of an unhealthy bias toward sexual conformity.
Essentially yes, but again, "I cried when I had no shoes, til I saw one
who had no feet". "Defective Society", or just a "defective social
convention about gender roles"...the West has had a serious problem
with gender roles since the days of Rome.
The Catholic may indeed have perceived something as I do, but they did
not implement the correct solution. The Catholic required punishment,
whereas I just pick you up and walk you over to the other side...and
you may walk back, and I'll repeat my actions, until you learn to stay
on your side of the room. And you like it on your side, because it's
your side! You been to busy looking at the other side of the room and
didn't even know or learn about your own side...I speaking mystically.
"Delusion" is a strong word, I'd prefer to keep it at "misconception"
if you don't mind...I know the difference...
We black folk suffer from more than maladies than this....this is a
major one, but not the only one. Then again, I've got info on the
effects this has had on whites...you might like to read...but that's
another story.
Playtoe
|
441.58 | RE: .50 & .52 - can't have your cake and eat it too | CHGV04::ORZECH | Alvin Orzechowski @ACI | Mon Apr 27 1992 15:28 | 34 |
| Not to be critical, Playtoe, but you seem to have all bases covered
here. First you say:
RE: .50
> Just because you believe you're right doesn't make you so, and it
> doesn't matter how many agree with you!
And then you say:
RE: .52
> We study and find support for what we want to believe...that's a fact.
> As much as you feel you've studied in support of your belief, I've
> found to support mine...and mine's has a bigger "global" following
> than your's!
Your observations about, "people believing they're right not making
them right", and, "people finding support for what they want to
believe", are right on. But you're not being consistent with regard
to verifying one's belief by counting the number of people that agree
with that belief.
Personally, when I'm inclined to believe something, I trust my own
instincts first and ignore the number of people that look at it the
same way. If I don't have an opinion or don't care to put any thought
into something, I'll go with the flow. And because I trust that's how
most people do it too, including you, I wouldn't argue too strongly
for or against anyone's belief using the number of people that agree
or disagree with my or their view.
Think "Peace",
Alvin
|
441.60 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 15:35 | 21 |
| RE: 55
Karen:
I appreciate the consideration you give...it really does a lot to
defuse my intensity of emotion...thanks, I needed that...wow, my neck!
It' hard as all get out, trying to get a Westerner to see other's
perspectives...I'm getting the hang of it, but there are some Western
types who won't bend!
Anyway, if you knew what I'm up against, and I can't see any
alternative to being in the struggle for enlightenment, then you'd
understand why at times I "lose something _essential_ in the
translation." IMHO, it's 50-50 why something get's lost.
I'm learning, but we both need to do so to mutually recognize OUR
growth...you are special, in that you do learn and grow, and I see
you:-)
Playtoe
|
441.61 | | DEMING::VALENZA | Karaoke naked. | Mon Apr 27 1992 15:48 | 74 |
| After wading through this discussion, I will admit my own ignorance on
the subject of transexuality.
It is clear that our culture defines in many ways what it means to be a
man or a woman. Different cultures often impose their own sexual
stereotypes on the people who inherit them, and while the stereotypes
may sometimes relate to physical differences, some of them also seem
quite arbitrary. Yet they are what we know and what we live with. So
if I am a man born in culture A, then what it means to be man results
in certain types of behavioral norms--clothing, speech, etc.--that may
differ radically from the behavioral norms I would have assumed had I
been born elsewhere. But I am a man in either case.
Thus so much of what it means to be a man bears no real connection to
what society tells me it means to be a man. My maleness is independent
of what society tells me it means. This is important to recognize in
the light of feminism, because we know that cultural stereotypes are
not only different from the sex we are born with, they are in fact
often sexist, oppressive, or otherwise problematic. Cultural
stereotypes can be changed; the sex we are born with, on the other
hand, we have no choice in. To explain all this, it seems easy enough
by tossing out the arbitrariness of culture and instead relying on our
physical bodies to describe the differences between the sexes. Simple
enough.
The only problem is that transexuality throws a bit of a ringer in this
neat little theory. What Allison and others like her have experienced
could suggest that there is something to being a man or woman that not
only goes beyond what culture imparts to us, but also doesn't
necessarily depend on the outwardly visible sex we are physically born
with. Well, if it isn't culture, and it isn't our genitals, what
exactly is it?
From what I have gathered via the discussion in this topic,
transexuality seems to suggest that all of us carry some kind of sexual
imprint. Almost always, this is identical to the physical sex that we
are born with, but for a small percentage of people the imprint does
not match the physical genitalia. I can't explain it, and I admit I
don't understand it. But then, in a sense, the sex we are attracted to
is also a kind of imprint in our brains--or perhaps better described as
a template. For most of us, the opposite sex matches the template in
our brains; for a few others, the same sex matches that template (and
still others have a template for both sexes.)
The mechanism for a sexual imprint mismatch is obviously not
understood, although Allison's comment about hormones is rather
interesting. I wish I could remember more from what my college
physical anthropology professor taught on this subject. There was one
anecdote she gave, that I mostly forget, about someone who might have
been born XXY (I don't remember for sure), and who was surgically
altered as a child and brought up to live as a one sex (I think it was
a girl). She mentioned that as the person got older, although never
told about what had been done to them, they in fact wanted to be the
other sex. This is, of course, second hand mostly forgotten anecdotal
evidence, so take it with a healthy grain of salt.
Anyway, the point is that, whatever the mechanism, the idea of
transexuality suggests that we do carry with us an imprint of our
gender identity. I might assume otherwise that since I was born as a
man, I developed that naturally, as a matter of course, as my sexual
(or gender) identity. Similarly, I accept my blue eyes as part of my
identity. The big difference between eye color and gender is that
our sex shapes what we are in critical and important ways, and is an
important part of the way our species functions and perpetuates itself.
So perhaps Mother Nature encoded some powerful forces into our genetic
expression of sex and gender that weren't necessary for things like eye
color.
Anyway, those are just some random thoughts on the issue. I haven't
had a direct personal interest in the subject as Allison obviously has,
so I don't really know much about it. I apologize if I am showing my
ignorance.
-- Mike
|
441.62 | RE: .61 - neat REPLY. Thanx. | CHGV04::ORZECH | Alvin Orzechowski @ACI | Mon Apr 27 1992 16:20 | 25 |
| RE: .61
> .................... But then, in a sense, the sex we are attracted to
> is also a kind of imprint in our brains--or perhaps better described as
> a template. For most of us, the opposite sex matches the template in
> our brains; for a few others, the same sex matches that template (and
> still others have a template for both sexes.)
If I remember correctly, in the very early stages of our development
we are neither male nor female. I would think it's possible that at
that time we all posses the originals of both templates.
When you consider the number of combinations of things that must occur
when our bodies just forming, it's not so surprising that there are
variations that occasionally happen, e.g., six fingers. When the
variation is not life sustaining, a natural abortion (miscarriage)
will often occur. Other variations may have the potential for leading
our species down a new evolutionary path. And maybe some variations
can give us important clues into how the mind works so we can begin to
sift out what parts are culturally determinated from what parts we are
literally born with.
Think "Peace",
Alvin
|
441.65 | The ALLISON Collection...:-) | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 16:58 | 95 |
| re: 59
> Cross-culturally, the Hijra of India and the corresponding group
> in Burma may have conditions that, according to this manual,
> would be diagnosed as male-to-female transsexualism. The Hijra,
> however, traditionally undergo castration not hormonal and
> surgical feminization (creation of a vagina).
Didn't we just discuss what "castration" was? I haven't heard of it
ever being used as a form of "feminization" of the male...HA! It
becomes highly suspect this "may have conditions that," is that all
they give you? What exactly do these Hijra do? "Cross culturally,"
sounds good doesn't it! But "castration" mixed in there is deep.
> Yes he does. Have you read John Money, Richard F Doctor, Virgina
> Prince as well?
No. Are they representing any major practice, ideology or perspective
in Western Culture?
> Clever ruse. Imply lies.
No, just possible misconceptions. LIES, imply evil and intent.
> This holds itself up as an example of the idea. You used a form of
> derision to devalue the statement preceeding itwithout ever recognizing
> it. Your questions are of course not relevent as you want quantitive
> values to something you do not recognize exists. Is it important that
> it is a little or greatly different? Why?
I can't recognize what doesn't exist....and to that extent it is
important and relevent to present some quantifiable evidence of it.
Thre greater the better for your case. Otherwise can you blame me for
not recognizing what I cannot see? I can't see it, and you can't take
the time to show me? What do you expect from me?
> Do you feel there is a difference between how people(general form)
> think? Do you feel that men and women think differently? Do you
> feel that if both are true that would give rise to things being
> valued differently between males thought and females?
No, I don't believe there is a difference between how people "generally
form" thoughts, or think? We all think alike. Men and women think
alike. I do believe that because people have different values and thus
have different interests and beliefs, goals and aspirations. But
generally how they formed those ideas happens all alike, people think
alike. Given the same values and experience, knowledge and background
people pretty much reach the same conclusions. Then again sometimes
"complementarities" develop, but they are reached in thought alike.
In Dialectical Materialism, they have a law they call "The Law of
Transformation of Quantity into Quality". A "quantity" of experience
leads to a "qualitative" change...this is true of EVERY THING that
changes...it is the basis for "mental conditioning" and it is fact.
I learned to "condition my own environment". I STOPPED TV watching for
over 10 years! I STOPPED driving a car for over 10 years....I don't
own a car now, the last one I had was a 1975 Mark IV in 1977...heck
it's been almost 15 years! I just got a TV when Iraq situation was
going on...I read books, listen to music I select, and watch videos I
select. I've BROKEN the mental hold! I go where I select, I work
where I select for as long as I select. FEAR does not enter into my
decisions, what is of greatest importance is my spiritual well being.
And that requires a "harmony" between Me-God-Nature...a TRINITY of
Immortality, Eternity, and Infinity.
> With tone comes context, context sets meaning and importance. Notes
I don't mind "tone, context" and all that crap...sometimes it can be
used against you. I might be telling you truth, but using a harsh
tone, and you might reject the truth because of the tone...and you'd
loose! That's a mighty ploy of oppression. Some blacks reject the
Bible because of "context" in which it was introduced to them...and
they loose!
I filter out all that tone and context, and put it in my own tone and
context, evaluate it and assess the meaning and value on it's own
merits...and then I might look back and wonder, WHY did they present it
like that? And I investigate the reason for the "context" separate
from the ideas. We do this all the time....all people think alike.
Conditioning usually results in one neglecting to evaluate a certain
perspective or idea when given in a certain context....but every other
one we evaluate just like everyone else does.
Personally, I'm happy to hear you aren't homosexual. MAYBE you might
be interested in developing to true men's fashions of a "sexy" kind, or
of a "feminine" kind...which don't really suggest "homosexual"...that
would be helpful in this society, and could make you rich.
Anyway...
Playtoe
Playtoe, In the Spirit of Truth
|
441.67 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 17:18 | 35 |
| re 61
Very good...
> The only problem is that transexuality throws a bit of a ringer in this
> neat little theory. What Allison and others like her have experienced
> could suggest that there is something to being a man or woman that not
> only goes beyond what culture imparts to us, but also doesn't
> necessarily depend on the outwardly visible sex we are physically born
> with. Well, if it isn't culture, and it isn't our genitals, what
> exactly is it?
What it becomes, consistent with what I've previously related, is this.
It is a "spectrum" of male and female personality types. You have
males ranging from real masculine to real feminine, but they are MALE,
and not to be considered PERVERSIONS, "females trapped in male
bodies"! And you have females ranging from real feminine to real
masculine, but they are FEMALES, and not to be considered as
PERVERSIONS, "Males trapped in female bodies".
Culture SHOULD allow for the expression of the spectrum of types, but
ours doesn't, it forces individuals to extremes (dichotomic thinking),
else sees mixtures as PERVERSIONS...mixed anything is somewhat of
"perversion"...mutts, mulattoes, etc are not pure and not "right", are
somewhat perversions of nature. So to hear about a "female trapped in
a male body" suggests "perversion" to the mind...we do not acknowledge
and allow for its expression....this was part of the "perverseness"
Europeans saw in African culture, and they STOPPED that sort of stuff,
and put every thing to the left or to the right...and forced it to
extremes, no in between.
Mike, thanks for the consideration...
Playtoe
|
441.68 | Don't look at me, look at the Word of Life. | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 17:45 | 20 |
| Re The Comforter, The Spirit of Truth
For those who can receive the "wisdom that comes from above", which is
first peaceable, easily entreated, etc." This is not an EGOTISTICAL
statement on my part. I try to remove all "mysticism" from the Word of
God...it's no mystery, it's just plain old reality and natural to those
who find it.
The Spirit of Truth IS a Comforter to those who are confused and/or
have misconceptions of life and nature.
And, once Truth is come and known, it shall NEVER depart from you.
This what I've said to you, and to those who understand it and
perceive it, shall NEVER depart from you...it is impossible. And the
scripture is fulfilled, "When that which is perfect is come, that
which is in part shall vanish away."
It's nothing for me to get egotistic about, all glory due to God.
Playtoe, In the Spirit of Truth
|
441.71 | God bless us all... | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Mon Apr 27 1992 21:11 | 1 |
|
|
441.72 | fwiw | ATSE::FLAHERTY | Wings of fire: Percie and me | Tue Apr 28 1992 10:16 | 23 |
|
Allison
Allison and Playtoe,
< be interested in developing to true men's fashions of a "sexy" kind, or
< of a "feminine" kind...which don't really suggest "homosexual"...that
< would be helpful in this society, and could make you rich.
* Sorry, I'm an engineer. You used a stereotype of the feminine male
* fashon designer. Men can wear what ever they want, if they have no
* fears. They certainly do not need me leading them around like sheep.
At my son's liberal college, several male students wear dresses/jumpers
to class. He says they are freeing and comfortable. Other cultures
and times allowed men the freedom to wear dresses (kilts, togas, etc).
I admire the courage of those who can be true to themselves without
fear or despite fear.
Ro
|
441.74 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Tue Apr 28 1992 13:15 | 67 |
| RE: 69
> be familiar with eastern cultures. Hijra are roughly equivelent to
> monks combined with palace guard There roles are to be androgynous
> (of both sex meaning). They are castrated to represent their mixed
> and blessed state of being. Of course I could include the full
I reject this as valid support for "transexualism"...this is a
RELIGIOUS rite, not a personal event. It has nothing to do with what
we're talking about...IMO. Do you really feel these "Hijra" in being
castrated support your case? What about the "religious" aspect as
compelling the castration vs the motivations we're speaking of hear?
>< No. Are they representing any major practice, ideology or perspective
>< in Western Culture?
> Yes. to all of the above. Psychaitry, psychology, biology, social
> anthropology... can't touch one without shaking the tree.
No, I mean how big is their following? Who subscribes to these
people's ideas, perspective, practice, and have they served in any
major way to influence or change the way America operates or thinks?
> Ok, I'll soften on that. I interpret correctly, you mispreceive
> the way the message is sent.
Whatever...
> You have in the past maintained a postition in other notes whereby
> women are to have different passions than men. That was the origional
> statement 3 notes ago. All I added was ok then they must think
> different. Now before I can quantify it you have ot acknowlege it
> or question it. Here again from .46.
> This might surprize you but conditioning your enviornment is a form
> of misperception. You can chose to interact with your enviornment
> or not to. Only you change. If you interact with it it changes
The lesser of two evils...at least I KNOW the elements which into my
mental conditioning...I never have to wonder how any behavior got
there. Man use to be "hunters-gatherers", the he began to "cultivate
his fields" with selected plants, would you say this is not good,
better than what he used to do? ...that's all I'm doing "cultivating"
my spirit/mind.
> fears to do that in order to reach harmony.
"Harmony"?
> Call it crap and you instantly devalue the statement I made. You either
No, I just say, take the violins away, just give me the ideas plain.
If truth is so obvious to the observer, why dress it up or put
background music to it? I'm speaking of the "context of Truth".
> Sorry, I'm an engineer. You used a stereotype of the feminine male
> fashon designer. Men can wear what ever they want, if they have no
> fears. They certainly do not need me leading them around like sheep.
You misunderstand me. By virtue of you situation you must have a
better eye than most men for a certain kind of clothing...You are
stereoptyping the "feminine-male" fashion designer...you've missed my
point on "modes of expression". I'm addressing a need, not art.
Playtoe
|
441.75 | How to express my feminine masculinity. | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Tue Apr 28 1992 13:21 | 17 |
| re: 72
Ro:
> At my son's liberal college, several male students wear dresses/jumpers
> to class. He says they are freeing and comfortable. Other cultures
> and times allowed men the freedom to wear dresses (kilts, togas, etc).
> I admire the courage of those who can be true to themselves without
> fear or despite fear.
I asked one guy about "sexy" clothes he had, and he said "komono"
gown...and that's good, he's right. That's an article men wear to be
sexy! Not an American item, though! However, from it we get a good
idea of what might be "sexy" for men...Hummmm, this is an interesting
topic.
Playtoe
|
441.78 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Tue Apr 28 1992 15:56 | 84 |
| re 76
> That wasn't support for transsexualism, that was a statement that what
> appears to be transsexualism appears elsewhere and there are outlets
> which permit/endorse that behavour. that is in agreement with many of
> the arguements you present regarding the western cultural limitations.
Quite the double talk...if it doesn't support transsexualism then it is
irrelevent to transsexualism, regardless of appearances. And you are
trying to use it in support! Because you say "and there are outlets
which permit/endorse (and how about SUPPORT) that behavior." There are
outlets, but THIS is not one of them...they are as I indicated, in
terms of clothing and such. Having an "operation" ain't nothing nice.
> The average american is unaware. They are widely respected within
> their fields of study.
Oh, so what am I "above" average or "below" average, or just "NOT
average" and you won't commit to any more than that, implying nothing
nice."? The "average" American? Pray tell of whom do you speak?
The "average" American don't know much about much of anything, from
what I hear...they didn't know the name of the President of Iraq? The
didn't know the name of judge currently being confirmed for Supreme
Court...They don't know a LOT of things, but yet you say they know
about these authors...hummmmm.
> You extracted it, never spoke about it. ????
I had planned to respond but I really don't understand your issue, nor
do I think you understand mine. We are confusing "thinking" with "what
we think about"...people think about different things, but all people
think alike, "consistency" of mind (eg loose, pliable, firm) may
determine speed of thinking process to reach ideas, but basically ideas
are reached the same in EVERY mind, such that people think alike...
And this was the issue we were discussing, not that what we think about
is the same...
>< better than what he used to do? ...that's all I'm doing "cultivating"
>< my spirit/mind.
> I do the same, and it's my mind.
So you consider yourself as having "misconceived" life, through your
own mental conditioning? That's what you said I've "surprisingly"
done...or is this another double standard, "what's good for the goose
ain't good for the gander"?
>
>< "Harmony"?
>> Yes, peace with myself, the world as I currently know it, my higher
>> power.
PEACE does not equal, is not the same thing as HARMONY...I thought you
knew! Let me explain...if War is a "negative ACTIVITY", and Peace is a
"neutral STATE" (ie, Peace is NO ACTIVITY, the opposing forces in
question are both quiet and still), then Peace is not the opposite of
War...HARMONY, is a "positive ACTIVITY", (IE, WORKING TOGETHER) and is
the opposite of War...which is another Western misconception!
Many believe they've achieved "harmony" when they've only found Peace.
And thus never really find HARMONY, which is the TRUE goal of
enlightenment...
> translated. Unfortunatly, I have no concept of male fashon or what
> they like. I even resent being called a man, it is equivelent to a
You say you are transsexual, what do YOU like? Forget what they like.
I'm saying what do you like to wear which expresses you "femininity" as
a male....being the extreme "feminine male" you'd be able to address
the need lacking in society for such clothing expressions.
I've still been talking and discovered that WOMEN have the SPECTRUM
covered! Women can buy clothing for whatever type they are. I was
talking with a black girl from England, and she said she calls her
"masculine clothing" her "combat clothes", "tight leotards or jeans,
high boots, muscle shirt" which she wears into conflicts and wants to
project the image that shes in control and ready to dominate...that's
the "electrical"/masculine impulse alright! The "magnetic"/feminine
impulse, to "attract"...
gotta go...
|
441.80 | I'm Black and I'm Proud of African Achievements in civlivization. | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Tue Apr 28 1992 16:32 | 33 |
| RE: 77
For the last time, I'm speaking on the topic as I see it...and it is
relevent. You are simply refusing to accept the redefined context, and
that's fine, but again it's not fair to ask that my context be moved to
another topic simply because you don't agree. I offer to those who may
care to hear it an alternative view to the SAME phenomenon you are
addressing...there's two sides to a coin!
It's not a matter of "proclaiming" any dress as masculine or feminine,
it's a matter of providing clothing that the individual can wear AS an
expression of character...we don't need the labels. The other
cultures, correct, didn't label them as such, and neither need we. But
they made the styles available. Whereas here in the West the styles
aren't available...
I see where you're coming from, but I don't agree. I have that right.
You need not pursue the "argument" or "debate" with ME, I didn't
originate any thing, as you didn't originate your ideas, you, like I,
merely "adopted" them...and you're no better than me at "adopting"
better babies/ideas/beliefs...it's not up for comparison.
Just because my ideas are Africanic in orientation does not make them
unAmerican, because African-Americans are a reality here. Italians
bring their ideas, and Jew's theirs and Catholics there, and everybody
brought something with them...must everyone abandon those things? Why
must I? Or, better yet, why would anyone try to make me, and not
everyone else...because mine are "savage, heathen and primitive"? Now
who figured THAT out?
Don't get me started...
Playtoe
|
441.83 | moderator suggestion | LGP30::FLEISCHER | without vision the people perish (381-0899 ZKO3-2/T63) | Tue Apr 28 1992 16:49 | 5 |
| May we have a little (few-day) cooling-off period for the
most active participants in this topic? (You know who you
are!)
Bob
|
441.84 | It's a Trinity you see... | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Tue Apr 28 1992 16:54 | 36 |
| re; 79
> Um, what about the 'Peace that passeth all understanding'? I suspect
> that is the type of 'peace' that Allison alludes to.
Perhaps, but previously Allison used the term "harmony" and then used
"peace" as if interchangeable and they are not interchangeable. It's a
misconception for those who believe it is...
> That may be your goal Playtoe, but since you, nor I have, have reached
> total 'enlightenment' (else we wouldn't be here), you can't very well
> tell us what the *TRUE* goal of enlightenment is for everyone!
I said the true goal of enlightenment is Harmony with God, working
together with him...can I tell you that, I just did, WILL YOU RECEIVE
that, it's up to you...but you can't jump on me for telling you that!
Lest I can jump on you for telling me that "harmony" is not the true
goal...we've got to have PEACE, but we don't have to have HARMONY to
both exist in the same plane.
Ro, I'm quite sure of what I say, we can entertain the idea if you
want, and I'm sure you'll agree in the end! *IF* your honest with your
SELF!
JUST to illustrate:
-100%---------------------0-------------------+100%
War Peace Harmony
Hell Earth Heaven
Negative Neutral Positive
Simply equation, from those who bring enlightenment doctrine!
Playtoe
|
441.85 | re: Yin Yang | OLDTMR::FRANCEY | M/L&CE SECG dtn 223-5427 pko3-1/d18 | Tue Apr 28 1992 17:55 | 14 |
| re: .81
That's the name of our sailboat - "Yin Yang".
I thought we might stand a"nother" slight out of basenote comment :-)
The boat handles well in "light" air but it's a real thriller when you
hit a 60+ NM squall. Imagine being out on the boat when Jesus was
asleep - betcha I'd be scared out of my wits, too.
Shalom,
Ron
|
441.86 | | SWAM1::DOTHARD_ST | PLAYTOE | Wed Apr 29 1992 13:55 | 12 |
| Re: 82
> One more time. It's my topic not yours. You want to redefine things
> do it in another topic I will join you there and you can have your
> way as the topic host. As I am the topic host for this one you are
> in my definition of space.
Wrong! It's your topic, but you don't control nor own any replies.
I've opened a many a topic and people take it where they want to go. I
deal with that but all are welcome...we don't all think the same
thoughts remember!
|
441.87 | | CSC32::J_CHRISTIE | Peace: the Final Frontier | Tue May 05 1992 23:56 | 27 |
| Allison,
I'm a bit hesitant to approach this topic out of fear of offending
you. But it sounds to me like you're inviting us to go ahead and ask, and
thereby, allowing you to de-mystify the various issues surrounding
cross-gendered people.
First of all, let me share that I've a friend who is in the process
of having a sex change (man to woman). He is required to live a minimum of
something like two years 'in role' before having surgery. He changed his
name to one of feminine gender, a name very different from his given name,
and I am having the hardest time remembering to address him using that
selected name. In addition, I keep stuttering over pronouns in speaking
about this friend to others; sometimes I say "he," sometimes "she." It feels
very awkward and cumbersome. Have others at any time expressed to you a
feeling of awkwardness in knowing how to address you and how to speak of
you to others? If so, what do you say to them?
Though we've already experienced some of this in earlier entries,
what are some of the most common myths and stereotypes regarding transexuality
that you've encountered?
How would you recommend that churches and clergy especially reach
out to transexuals?
Peace,
Richard
|
441.90 | 20/20 Segment | CSC32::J_CHRISTIE | Peace Reservist | Fri Jun 05 1992 20:39 | 12 |
| I watched a segment on 20/20 last night which featured a surgeon who
lives here in Colorado who is considered the finest in his field, sex
change surgery.
I found it very enlightening. It reinforced the concept that transsexuals
are neither homosexual (same sex attraction) nor transvestite (sexual pleasure
in dressing in garments associated with the opposite sex). "Cindy," who was
about to have the surgery performed, indicated that all her sexual experience
had been exclusively heterosexual.
Peace,
Richard
|