| Title: | Welcome to the Golf Notes Conference! |
| Notice: | FOR SALE notes in Note 69 please! Intros in note 863 or 61. |
| Moderator: | FUNYET::ANDERSON |
| Created: | Tue Feb 15 1994 |
| Last Modified: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 2129 |
| Total number of notes: | 21499 |
A few definitions to help us all understand the game better.
Slice - A trick shot accomplished by aiming North and hitting
East. Unlike Leprosy, which is curable.
Hook - Same as above but the ball goes West.
Bunker - Similar to a prison, easy to get into, nearly impossible
to get out of.
Hole High - Right Club, wrong distance.
"What do you lie" - A foolish question posed by your opponent,
with emphasis on the last word.
Green - Never-never land, oasism the unattainable goals in less
than 4 shots. Alson,what you cross your opponent's hand
with after the match.
"It'll play" - A comment made by your partner when your ball
lands three fairway's away.
Water Hazard - A 40-fathom lake, the final resting place for
all golf balls.
Fairways - The least used part of the course.
Hacker - All of us.
Duffer - A necessity in every foursome. Someone who can make
115 look good.
Pro - Somebody who doesn't cheat to break 95.
Club - A poorly designed weapon used to propel a white spherical
object in the wrong direction.
Putt - The act of lightly tapping the back of the ball, waiting
3 seconds and then appealing to the deity for mercy.
Blast - An attempt to remove the ball from a sand trap. Also,
the utterance as a result of the result.
Tree - A heartless monster, often situated in the fairway. Often
said to be 80 percent air, a painful fallacy.
Ballmarker - A disc like object used to mark a position on a
green, customarily placed at least a foot closer
to the hole than the original resting place
of the ball.
Enjoy
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 28.1 | Appendix | FREMEN::SPT_BRINKLEY | Mon Aug 11 1986 23:57 | 7 | |
re: -1
Hole High - right club, wrong target.
Ball Mark - Similar to Ball Marker put permanently left by a
previous Hacker or even pro and strategicly placed
between your balls final resting spot and the hole.
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| 28.2 | Terms of Golf - an update | WEBSTR::WILLIS | Fri Sep 18 1987 17:44 | 48 | |
Here are a few more additions to the Glossary (extracted from a
souvenir I picked up in a Gift Shop in St. Andrews last year):-
AIR SHOT: Threatening gesture aimed at frightening a ball without
[or WIFF] actually hitting it.
DRIVE: Afternoon outing through scenic, heavily-wooded country.
EAGLE: Mythical bird which, like the moa, is seldom seen on a golf
course.
GOLF BALL: Small pill with liquid centre hit around by a larger pill of
similar composition.
GOLF LINKS: One place where the slowest are those in front, and the fastest
are those behind.
GREEN: Smooth area sown with special grasses to prevent a ball from
travelling in a straight line.
HOLE-in-ONE: A stroke of genius.
HOOK: A swing to the left that's got nothing to do with politics.
LIE: (a) Position of ball;
(b) The fable recorded on your scorecard.
PAR: What most golfers feel below, after a night at the Club social.
ROUGH: Dense areas inhabited by even denser club-bearing creatures,
sometimes known as "missing links".
SCORECARD: Eighteen chapters of frustration ending with several columns of
bad arithmetic.
SLICE: Face-saving shot employed by golfers desperate to make it to
the nearest trees.
STROKE: Convulsive spasm often experienced following an Air Shot.
TOP: Delicate technique employed by big-hitting golfers to limit
the ball's flight to a few yards, even inches.
Hope you like 'em
Roger
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