Conference napalm::commusic_v1

    I've actually heard all but the last of these tapes, and will be
    posting a review at some point.  Reviewing 7 hours of music takes
    rather more than 7 hours, so please be patient.
    
    In 25 words or less?
    
    Some very interesting stuff, some ho hum stuff, some dreadfully
    boring stuff.  Much inventiveness, some obvious concepts, some
    self indulgent techno-noodling.  Extraordinary variety.
    
    That was 23 words, so I'll leave it at that for now.
                                           
    Tom deserves more credit than he often gets.
    
    len.
    

Here is my long-awaited review of my tapes of my music. Note that "parody" in 
music merely means "imitation."  Everything is for piano, unless otherwise 
stated.

THOMAS E. JANZEN
The Nearly Complete Works Volume One: 1971-1976
1971:Blue Fog (piano);
	really horrible minimalist take-off on bad night-club rock.
Garbage Day Blues  		
	pretty Gershwin parody, but should have been in song form; too short.
1972:Al Steven Tune 		 
	pretty, vacuous Steve Allen song spoof, but really just variations and
	not in any song form or Song Form.
Behind a Dripping Pane; don't remember this
Concerto Theme; More like a muzak or easy-listening theme; too short; should 
	have been in song form.
Presto;	Seems to truncate at the end.
Sergei; This Prokofiev-like theme should have been developed into a real piece
Stupid Theme; A tonal chromatic waste; too short; should have been extended.
Interpretation II Modeste ;Any chimp can ruin the classics, Pictures at an 
	Exhibition here, this way
Four Martian Folksongs
	Brilliant! Excellent! bravo! imiation before the fact of
	Meredith Monk or Joan LaBarbara or Pauline Oliveros (Sound Patterns)
	extended vocal technique, but poor recording values.
Clarinet Duet; This Bartok/Messiean like morsel is almost a whole piece, but
	just missed it.
1973:Piano Variations I 		
	This atonal theme and its variations are too short; should have been 
	3 hours long, at least.
Aspects (Clar. and piano) 
	Pretty dramatic imitation of Prokofiev; could have been ideas for 
	a movie score; not quite complete as a piece.
Star-Spangled Watergate	
	Pretty good parody of Charles Ives at his best.  Dated title.
Piano Variations II; More atonal miniatures than the world needs
1974:Five Pieces After Jazz (clar. and piano)		
	these pieces would have been good if they weren't too short.
	As it is, it just whets my appetite and then disappoints me.
	The finale is good straight-ahead (as Marian McPartland has it)
	5/4 jazz, but too short.
Two-Part Invention; This Bach parody ends too suddenly.
Movement After Brahms (clar. and piano)		
	Not a legitemate movement, but a few passages are pretty clever
	imitations of the master.
1975:Duos to Webern (two clarinets) I II III	
	Don't give us any more of this atonal expressionistic crud.
	The pieces end too soon, anyway.  Poetic crud.
Danz of der Hockey Pucque 
	The best piece in the series; a great Debussy parody.
Circus (clar. and piano)  
	What the heck was this supposed to be? Stravinsky in his early period?
Siddhartha I  II  III  IV V  VI VII VIII IX X XI XII 	
	A strange mix of idioms, all too short.  Jazz, minimalism,
	atonal expressionism, quasi-modal Balian cacaphony all in one piece?
Chamber Pieces (small ensemble); Spare me another coloristic Webern study.
Animations I 			
	Spare me another Boulez parody, and nancarrow-esque carter-esque
	interferring slow rhythms.
1976:Hologram (4 flutes)		
	Spare me another George Crumb parody!  Holy smokes, an eclectic brew
	of chant, Modal counterpoint, Ives Unanswered Question, 
	and Varese's density for 4 flutes.
Piano Variations III; More microscopic atonal variations.
Double Canon (4 saxes)	
	A fine work of craftsmanship (YOU try writing two simultaneous canons in
	retrograde that lasts 10 minutes); a bad work of music.
Star-Spangled Watergate III II IV  V   
	More clever variations on the National Anthem.  Glass, Ives, 
	and Carter parodies.  Should have been in order on the tape.
Two Creek Quartet Sketch 
	Kind of contemporary for 12 years ago; more like the Debussy string
	quartet really.  Sounds cool on vibes.
Variations on Search for Love  (voice and piano) I II III IV V VI	 
	Uninteresting, boring, yet dull stabs at a song of D. H. Lawrence.

Volume Two: 1976-1979
1976:Television Music: Blues EZDuzzit Waltz		
	insipid, even more so that most elevator music.  Spare me from another
	minimalist bacharach imitation!
1977:Five Flute Duets 	
	Silver angst; tortured atonal expressionistic, but sometimes fun,
	especially the Baroque-cum-Alban Berg movement.
Animations	
	Ivory anger; tortured virtuosic expressionistic American integrally
	serial, noisy, clusters, does everything in ten minutes, can't 	
	concentrate.  Should have concentrated on one thing for 40 minutes.
Coins, The Music of Change (Coinist, piano)  
	Silly spoof of John Cage, with Bach sonata background and amplified
	spinning money, slinkies, and steel bearings in the foreground.
Caterpillar Blews
	I've heard better rhythms in Burt Bacharach; a dull waste of time.
1978 Jazzes ;Cutesy stupid neo-classic third stream via Bacharach.
Inauguration ;use each note of a new piano once to break it in? Spare me!
Mouthpieces (voice)
	More brilliant and beautiful vocal blasts with new techniques and
	no electronic help.
Interpretation No. 1: LvB E I 
	A destruction of the first movement of Beethoven's E major sonata,
	using jazz riffs, clusters, tilted meters, and polytonality.
	What a waste of my precious time.
1979: Objection to Being Stepped On
 (voice and piano)	  
	Robert Frost would have hated this pedestrian mid-century
	American tonalist setting, a la` Copland in his Dickinson.
Earings
	SO WHAT??????? So you know a lot of different idioms.  Do something
	original for a change.
Dorian Gray, Christmas Card, Postcard, Martian Canal, Four Bars and No Stool, 
Medicine Ad, Contrary Melodies, Parallels, Some Thumb, Albert's Tea, Morning
Constitutional, Whatever, Walt's Dents, Dance of the Modems, Summer Chorale,
Christmas Carol, Riff Raft, Rainy Day, Smear Blues, Falling Melody, Mail Order
Catalog of the Birds, Cheaper Imitation, Resonances, Rain Spout, Slow, 
Martian Htwrc Dance, Prelude, Pianisms, Evening News, Pi in the Ski,
Fie Phi, Semicolons (with computer), Minuet (with computer), Exercise for the
Piano, Chord Rhythm, Analog

Volume Three: 1979-1983
1979:Flute Solo I   II  
	The first movement is incompetent jazz writing.
	The second movement is at least pretty, in a distorted sort of way,
	reminiscent of the Bach cello suites.
Three Computer Pieces I II III 
	What crap.  Spare me from this kind of white-random-music junk!
1980:Piece for Thumb Piano 
	Learn to play kalimba first, then write for it, not the other way
	around!!!
Balloon Piece 
	So the mike is inside the balloon; who cares; we've all heard
	a balloon fart.
Piece for One Octave Harmonica
	Learn to play harmonica, then write for it, not the other way around!
Four-Letter Words for bass clarinet I II III IV V VI VII VIII 
	Some of this are boring, the others are just bad.
Field Effects (clarinets and vibraphone) 
	Cutesy pitiful new-age semi-minimal attempt.  Proves that NOT
	everything sounds good on vibes.
Composition      
	First learn to compose, then write a composition, not the other
	way around.
1981:Four Pieces for Prepared Piano	I   	II  	III 	IV 
	YAWN!!!  If they weren't so boring, they'd be too short.
	John Cage did this better almost 50 years ago.  Why bother?
Beethoven Sonatas 
	Gotta have a gimmick, such as playing the first bar of each Beethoven
	sonata movement in order.	
1982:Sonnet 55 (voice and piano)
	Really awful; you'll certainly never catch me singing it.
Let It Go (voice and piano)
	Worse, on an Empson poem.
On D 
	Much too short, should have been 3 days long at least.
	Heaven forbid you should change key, or play a melody, or
	change the rhythm.  Use rock music as an example of
	changing meters.
F Piece (vibraphone) 
	I know what the "F" stands for, it describes this piece.
Lucy's Dance 
	Really nice, really pretty koto imitation, but dull.
1983:Contemplation 
	Like, does this guy know what melody is?  Was this supposed
	to be a southern Baptist church service or something?  Without
	the solos and riffs, it's not Gospel, guy.
Surf
	Doesn't make me feel like surfing; makes me feel like throwing
	my cassette deck across the room when I hear this pretentious
	minimal new-age junk.
Piano 
	Quiet, gentle, calming and slow senility.

Volume Four: The Mid-Eighties
Cocktail Party (1983) 
	Too short; there was no time for the idea to develop.  Oh, sorry,
	this piece didn't have an idea.  Never mind. FORTY MINUTES????
	of the same figures?
C (1983) 
	Stick to writing in C computer language.  How many inversions of
	a C major chord can you play, and still make at least 2 mistakes,
	using a sequencer?
Caterpillar Boogie (1985) 
	An elaboration of Caterpillar Blews that the world could have lived
	without.
Resurrection Bells (vibraphone) (1983)
	Too short; should have been ten weeks longer to make its point of
	playing 4 clusters over and over and over and over and over and over.
Chopin's Pillows (vibraphone)
(1986) 
	More senile new-age music, filigree over a repeating phrase of Chopin's
	Fantasy-Impromptu in c#.  Made me forget my address, so it works!
Bottoms Out (1985) 
	Out of tune, out of sync, Bali gamelan joke done by re-recording
	a piano figure.  Out of it altogether!
Nine Beats (1984) 
	Do I NEED to hear the same phrase over and over with different
	numbers of voices playing?

Volume Five: The Last Music, The First Stories
Four Old Songs (alto recorder and echo) (1984/6) I II III IV
	Number 3 is a good imitation of some Meredith Monk.
	number 2 is cheap Japanese.  Number 1 is a TOOO LONGG drone
	on microtones.	
	The same old trick of humming in parallel fifths with the recorder
	while you play it.  I've heard it a billion times, done better.
	Learn to sing in tune, dude.
Polonaise (1984) 
	What puke; no melody, no form, just a long fade out.  Chopin would
	puke at this minimal junk.
Adolescent Improvisation (1986) 
	R&B with angst, a la Bacharach.  Can YOU play a 12-bar minor blues???
Sustain Flange (1984) 
	Spare me from senile new-age, slow quiet coma.
Easy Music (1986) 
	Is this supposed to be a spoof of new age?  Because it sucks.
Love Her/Hate Her (voice over-dub) (1986) 
	Sounds busted, as though it should have been recorded and performed
	correctly instead of incorrectly.
Noisy Neighbours (voice,electronic organ,noise)(1986)
	cute, brilliant insight and use of sound.  I've had this problem.
Hand-Made Music (piano and effects processor) (1987)
	Spare me from Shadowfax imitations that don't change the flange
	effect on cue!
Slowasleep (voice, effects,
	recorded sounds) (1985)
	cute stories and sound effects, with tibetan humming and Gregorian
	chant thrown in for good measure, but moves too slowly.

Volume Six: Two Performance Pieces
Fame: Can You Handle It? ; funny but self-indulgent.
Wakdjunkaga, The Trickster
	can't tell what's going on; needed the video; sounds like a weird guy
The Klein Bottle
	The audience enjoyed it more than I did.  Stories about feeby
	artists in Seattle never were my favorite.

Well, so sum it up, dude, I think it was great you quit music, 'cause you
sucked, man.  But the stories, or Performance Art, or whatever you call it,
isn't that great either.  What's it like having no talent?
Later, dude.
Tom

    Can I get it on CD?

    >< Note 1805.3 by WEFXEM::COTE "The Unmitigated Gaul..." >
>                                     -<  >-
>
 >   Can I get it on CD?
yes, but the CD is made of black plastic so that it can't be played.
    Tm

    Gosh.. The number and range of pieces and musical styles and their 
    descriptions firmly establish you as a serious composer, but the 
    savagely sarcastic reviews of them establish a sort of tension, 
    you know ?  And the fact that you, YOURSELF, are trashing your own
    music in public is nothing short of brilliant Performance Art !
    
    Happy New Year, Tom.. but remember, drink and mow, lose a toe !
    
    karl

    I want one of them black CDs, where do I order it?  Heck, I'd even go
    for one that I could play (less collectable, though, I suppose).  I still
    have fond memories of your Hudson Public Library gig.
    
    	Eirikur
    

	All of you serious Janzen collectors will want the unauthorized
	(ok, bootleg) release of Tom's live performance at Orange Coast
	College in California back in the early '80's.  Captured on
	primitive recording gear (a Walkman recorder with a permanent
	magnet for an erase head), it nonetheless reveals Tom's
	composition and performance skills as well as demonstrates Tom's
	grace under pressure (the concert was staged outdoors during
	lunch hour when the surfers were ready to rock 'n' roll, not
	expand their musical horizons).  Send your checks and
	money-orders today! 

    The tape you generously describe is no longer available (except in
    cut out bins) and has been superseded by computer-generated
    performances of nearly every last lousy shred of music I ever wrote
    (6 90-minute volumes).  Friends from dec are cheering in the
    background, and the excessive flanging or equalizing was by a
    60-year-old professor deliberately sabatoging me because he had
    just been laid off due to the property tax reform.
    But don't laught at Orange Coast College, my lab professor had a
    PhD in physics from the Sorbonne.
    
        This reply �1989 Thomas E. Janzen.  All rights reversed.
    This reply may not be duplicated electronically, manually, 
    or mechanically, stored manually, electronically or mentally, 
    performed, played, re-told, described, drawn, painted, sculpted,
    loaned, shown, sold, bought, recycled, filmed, photographed, 
    photocopied, or retained on the retina by persistance of vision.
    

    But is there a bootleg of the "Live at the Hudson Public
    Library" performance?  :-)
    
    	Eirikur  

	"Nearly Complete Works"???  Are you just about finished composing
	all you're ever going to write? 

	BTW, nice copyright notice...  I just extracted it (in violation
	of the notice, yes) to use within my header in my personal
	projects.  I like how it makes people with photographic 
	memories immediate violators.

>    < Note 1805.10 by SWAV1::STEWART "There is no dark side of the moon..." >
>                              -< nice copyright >->
>
>	"Nearly Complete Works"???  Are you just about finished composing
>	all you're ever going to write? 

    I finished writing music about a year and a half ago.  It's called
    "the nearly complete works" because there a couple pieces of no
    importance that I couldn't figure out how to record.
    Four orchestra pieces (one sucky, one is just a pile of holerith
    cards, one is the star spangled watergate which is on there for
    piano, one is a mish mash of styles the segments of which are mostly
    in other pieces anyway) and a couple other things, especially
    adolescent improvisations that are on tape, about an hour's worth
    (I call it volume zero, but only sent it to one person so far.)

    Music is no longer part of my life much.  It was a major
    disappointment.  Even when I won I lost.  I was selected by the
    juries of the biggest festival of new music in america, but the
    administrators struck me with a few others to save money.
    Today I found out that I may have won an award of some kind of
    performance art (more when it's confirmed), so performance art has
    provided me with much encouragement, whereas in music I didn't get
    encouragement from my closest friends in college until I sent them
    the nearly complete works, which I recorded late last year, so it
    was too late.  The real reason i don't rant and rave about my musical
    prejudices as much as I used to is that I no longer care enough
    about music to spew fire defending it.
    
    Aren't you all glad???? ;-)
    Tom

    Kinda reminds me of my wife's attitude.  She has a degree in music
    performance, perfect pitch, concert mistress for the University
    of Missouri philharmonic for about four years, and so forth.  She
    always felt that because she had worked so hard on a piece, when
    it was performed the audience had better appreciate it.  To
    the audience, it was nice, but they couldn't appreciate it as much
    as she wanted them to.  And, it was sometimes a sign of musical
    illiteracy for some folks to show too much appreciation.  Me, I
    like a piece or I don't.  When I don't, I usually sleep through
    it.  It's the composers rather than the musicians that catch my
    attention.
    
    One recital she gave cost me about $10 per head of those that attended.
    Kind of illustrated to me that the performance was not for the
    audience. I could have paid for all of them to have dinner and a
    movie and they would have been just as happy if not happier.  But,
    the recital was an accomplishment for her that SHE needed.  Bad
    as it may sound, I think making good music is usually for the benefit 
    of the one making the music, who is coincidentally the best judge
    of it.  If you want to make bad music, forget about what you want
    and just cater to what others want.  There's plently of that going
    on.  Making really good music is seldom rewarded or recognized by
    others.
    
    Steve

    >< Note 1805.12 by MIZZOU::SHERMAN "ECADSR::SHERMAN 227-3299, 223-3326" >
>
>	Me, I
>    like a piece or I don't.  When I don't, I usually sleep through
>    it.  It's the composers rather than the musicians that catch my
>    attention.
 >    Steve

    That's funny, when I like a piece I sleep through, and when i don't
    I leave.
    ;-)
    the rest of your reply is on the money (literally)
    Tom

    Tom, here's a designed-to-be-annoying question for you:
    
    	What's Frank Zappa got that you don't got?
                               
    
    As far as I can tell (never having met the fellow) he:
    
    	Says what he thinks- and it's really what he thinks, not
    	what current pop culture says he should say;
    
    	Makes the music he wants to- not the music that pop
    	culture says he should make;
    
    	Gets tons o' money for doing it;
    
    	Enjoys life at the same time.
    
    So, what's he doing differently than you? (don't say "but he has
    a Synclavier" because we both know that's both bogus hardware and
    a bogus excuse.)
    
    	-Bill
                                          

    I don't know anything about Zappa, so don't ask me, but I think
    he's much older than I am, and probably knows more musicians (that
    helps get jobs).
    Tom

    Zappa was already a phenomenon back in 1966, so take his current age and
    subtract 23, then ask your question again.
    
    len.
    

    Hey, it's not my fault Frank Zappa couldn't cut it as an MSI ECL
    IC test engineer...
    Tom

    This seems like an appropriate place to post a belated review of Tom's
    "Refugee from Performance Art" that was done at Performance Place in
    Somerville a few weeks ago.  I enjoyed it, even though it was one of
    the hottest nights of the year to a non-air conditioned hall.

    The Algorhythms segments were highlights for me; they set the mood of
    different parts of the piece very nicely.  I continue to be amazed at
    the quality of the musical output of this algorithmic program.  I
    wonder what happens if you mellow it out to be slower, more sustained, 
    and more traditionally tonal?

    The storytelling high points for me were at the beginning and end. 
    Some of the middle parts were more familiar to me from Tom's past
    performances, be they live, on tape, or in Notes.  In the latter half,
    the ends of sentences started getting quite soft, not helped any by the
    fan noise.  The beginning was particularly funny, especially the map of
    the United States.  I'd like to use that idea for a talk I'm giving
    next month to a research group in Seattle that we're sponsoring, but
    then I might be like one of the criminal characters that appeared later
    in Tom's performance.

    Please keep us posted on future performances!