Conference napalm::commusic_v1

893.0. "Flames on Suzanne Ciani's "The Velocity of Love"" by DECWET::MITCHELL () Mon Aug 03 1987 05:32

I went out tonight looking for a tape to christen my new B and O stereo
system.  I spotted "The Velocity of Love" by Suzanne Ciani and decided to
give that tape a go (I have read a lot about her but have never heard anything
she has done).  Two hours ago I dropped about nine dollars to buy this tape.
Five minutes ago I heard the last selection on it.  An hour from now the
tape may reside beneath a banana peel in my garbage can.

<FLAME ON>

The Velocity of Love is, without exception, the most boring tape I have
heard in years.  Don't even THINK of buying it!  Ciani lists an impressive
array of equipment in the liner notes (Prophet V, Prophet T-8, Bode Vocoder,
Synclavier II, Yamaha DX-7 etc. etc.) but for the life of me, I don't know
how she used it.  There isn't a selection on the entire tape that couldn't
have been done on a DX-7 alone.  What a waste of technology!  All that
digital power under the direction of a musician who can't even come NEAR
what people were doing with analog synths twenty years ago.

If this recording is an example of what Ciani considers art, then the Muse
must be barfing up her dinner of ambrosia and nectar.  I don't know when
I have heard anything so insipid, boring and downright AMATEURISH!  I would
like to go on record as saying that even I could have done a better job.
Ciani seems to think that composing means plugging a bunch of synths into
a MIDI controller and then playing the same melodic phrase over and over
and over and over.  Really, the tape must have taken as long to record as
it does to play.

If you were to sit down at your synth and just "dick around" for an hour,
you would have this tape or something better.  The whole endeavor is a
classic example of the I-have-a-lot-of-equipment-so-I-must-b-a-composer
syndrome.  I ha purchased some tapes that have disappointed me in the
past, but this one makes me feel ripped-off.  What a F*cking waste of money!

The only nice thing about The Velocity of Love is that the recording is
crystal clear.  BFD.  In my view this is tantamount to a clear, unobstructed
view of a city dump.

DON'T BUY THIS TAPE unless your tastes are inclined toward terminally boring,
uninspired, rank-amateurish, electrocrap.  If Ciani makes a DIME of profit
off this pablum, then there is no justice.  If she DOES make some money
off it, I hope she gets her ass down to the nearest music school and takes
some lessons in composition and synthesis.

John M.

    If she had skipped the liner notes, would you like the music?  I
    agree that she uses half a million dollars worth of hardware to
    emulate an electric piano, but I like it.  We all have our
    peculiarities.
    
    Eirikur

    I bought this record some time ago.  I rather enjoy it, but then what
    do I know?
    
    Given the volume of real electrotrash out there, I wonder why our
    reviewer felt it necessary or worthwhile to give this recording so
    utterly negative an appraisal.
    
    Is it because Ciani Musica is a "big name" in jingleland?  Is it
    because Suzanne's got a lot of expensive equipment?
    
    There's just no accounting for taste, is there?
    
    len.
    

RE: .1 (Eirikur)

    > If she had skipped the liner notes, would you like the music? < 

No!  Liner notes should give some indication as to what's inside.  All I
could tell from these is that she used a lot of equipment.  I foolishly
assumed that because she had such an impressive array, she must have known what
she was doing.  I was wrong.


RE: .2 (len)
    
    >  Given the volume of real electrotrash out there, I wonder why our
    reviewer felt it necessary or worthwhile to give this recording so
    utterly negative an appraisal. < 

Because this IS real electrotrash.  I don't want anyone else to make the
mistake of buying Ciani's exercise in boredom.  I only wish there were some
(scrupulous) way to return the tape!
   
 
    >  Is it because Ciani Musica is a "big name" in jingleland? < 

I am convinced it is only because Contemporary Keyboard has made her a star.
To say The Velocity of Love is a disappointment is to be extremely kind.
With Ciani's supposed talent as a composer, one would expect her to know
more than two chords.  Of course, if you're producing a five-second jingle
two chords might be sufficient.  But when it comes to an hour-long tape,
that hound don't hunt.


    >  Is it because Suzanne's got a lot of expensive equipment? < 
 
...And doesn't know what the hell to do with it.  I suspect she relies on
so many synths because she uses the presets on all of them--that's what
her music sounds like anyway.
    

    >    There's just no accounting for taste, is there?  < 

Well yes, there is.  But that's fodder for another topic.


John M.