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Conference iago::caring_for_elders

Title:Caring for Elders
Moderator:SANBDO::GRANT
Created:Thu May 19 1988
Last Modified:Wed Mar 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:183
Total number of notes:798

183.0. "moving into smaller quarters" by ADISSW::HAECK (Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!) Mon Feb 17 1997 14:01

    My mother is getting close to deciding that it is time for her to move
    out of her 9 room/ 3 bedroom/ 2 bathroom mobile home.  This weekend we
    visited Hunt Community in Nashua.  She really liked the facility, and
    can afford it.  She liked one of the empty 1 bedroom apartments.  

    So far so good.

    Now she is brick walling on trying to move 9 rooms into 3.  In
    particular she has a couple of large pieces of furniture (a hope chest,
    a "high boy" and a desk) that she doesn't want to part with.  She also
    has a zillion good sized closets and a shed which are packed as tight
    as sardines and would have to whittle that down to fit into two
    closets and a small basement storage bin.  Then of course there's the
    dishes (good and everyday), cookware and countertop appliances, etc. that
    she'd have to reduce into smaller quarters.

    Does anyone have any advise on how to encourage and/or advise her? 
    Well, knowing my mother she wouldn't accept advise from a 42 year old
    child, but maybe she'd mull over a suggestion.  :-)  

    Can anyone share how they and/or their parent(s) made this kind of
    move?

    Thanks
    Debby
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name		DateLines
183.1mom, the pack ratKAOFS::B_CROOKBrian @KAOTue Feb 25 1997 15:3832
    Deb, I am going through a similar 'exercise' with my mom who is a 
        pack rat many times over. A lot of her belongings will not fit,
        much less be useful in an apartment.
        I think we are going to end up with several methods of dispersing
        a lot of her possessions:
          - she doesn't mind the idea of a 'garage sale' for SOME of the
            stuff 
          - she is coming around to the idea of giving some of it away,
            either outright to family members or just on loan to family.
            That way, she still has the peace of mind that she can get it
            back if she ever wants to or can go look at it. This seems to
            fit best with her for the furniture etc? Also, it leaves open
            the possibility that she can re-organize her apartment later
            and retrieve some of the furniture...
          - we might just store some of the articles in a rent-all type
            place. 
    
      My mom has never lived in an apartment and is quite apprehensive. My
    theory is that she will take a while to start to like it and then we
    can make more permanent arrangements for a lot of her stuff. Until
    then, we are trying not to push her to sell things etc. that she
    doesn't have to. The idea of renting storage, loaning furniture etc is one
    that I think will work for her and not cause grieve. Its a big step for
    her just to sell and move to an apartment.
    
    Maybe some way for her to have her own storage somewhere would help
    her? ie a garden shed or the like? Most apartments do not have enough
    shelves in them, maybe you can increase the storage capacity of the
    apartment? If she is a 'pack rat' and you find a way to change that
    'adorable' part of her behaviour, let me know!
    
    good luck
183.2Glad to see some progressADISSW::HAECKMea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!Wed Feb 26 1997 10:4917
    I hadn't thought of renting storage space.  I'll have to pass that one
    by her.  Thanks.

    Right now she seems to focus on the fact that I am recently divorced
    and just moved into a new house, so my furnishings are a bit hodge
    podge.  And my 22 year old daughter is talking about moving out in the
    spring, so she'll need stuff too.

    Mom called the other day and said that she had decided against the
    apartment we looked at.  She also said that in going over the floor
    plans she thinks some of the corner units have more space.  And that
    maybe she should look at another facility too.  

    For now I am grateful for the progress of looking at and really
    seriously considering how things could be done.  

    Debby