Conference hydra::dejavu

    oh heavens, no...you're not crazy at all, in fact I think
    that your mind and heart are finally at peace with  the sitaution
    concerning your daughter.  I tsounds to me that the dreams of
    not feeding the child may have been your minds way of coping with
    your feeling of helplessness when you could not get through to
    your daughter to get help..  The last dream where you are at
    last able to feed the baby and the baby accepts the food may 
    be your minds way of interpreting that you were at last able to 
    get through to your daughter that she needed couceling and the
    feeding may be sort of symbolic of the help that you have been
    at last able to "feed" her with and whihc she has accepted.
    
    sincerely
    Fay
    
    

    
    I don't think you're crazy....
    
    I wonder if the child in your dreams wasn't your *inner* child
    wanting to be nurtured - or at least you wanted to nurture IT.
    Maybe there was something holding you back from doing that and
    it took the example of the situation with your *real* daughter
    in the *outer* world for you to release whatever was holding you
    back.  
    
    At any rate, this seems like a very healthy thing to have happened.
    
    guy

    To the basenote author,
    
    You might be interested in adding RANGER::WOMANNOTES-V3 to your
    notebook and check out the adoption triad topic.  There is a 
    private conference for people involved in the triad that might
    explain and be quite helpful to you and your daughter in under-
    standing what is going on for her.  I can't remember what the
    topic number is but send a note to the moderators of that 
    conference and they will be more than glad to help put you in
    touch.
    
    Good luck with your journey.
    
    justme....jacqui

    Please explain *inner* child.
    Millie

    re: .4 (Millie)
    
         This was covered at least in one note "long ago" in here somewhere
    but I'm not sure where to find it so perhaps its worth recalling here
    just the same.
         This term or concept was popularized by the branch of psychology
    known as Transactional Analysis.  In TA (not the tv term  ;-) )
    there is an acknowledged understanding that things "happened" in our
    childhoods and our adolescences.  These things too often created
    or manifested beliefs, attitudes, feelings, etc. which had what are
    held to be negative outcomes.  How do we let go of the feeling we
    have as a result of a traumatic event that happened when we were
    six years old, for example?  Talking about it is a start. 
    Unfortunately, most people "forget" lots of things or color the
    reality in a manner which makes the expression difficult at best.
    TA uses role-playing.  One "pretends" that they are back there at
    that time and then describes the situation in order to help
    release it.  Sometimes the therapist suggests things in order to
    help change the awareness or perception of the event.
         HOWEVER, in the view of Lazaris, and probably others, that
    reality is not just a memory.  It is very real.  TA does not 
    acknowledge time/space as now.  It only treats memory as now.
    Lazaris has stated that because time/space are concurrent, that
    that child and adolescent are every bit as real as we are (although
    obviously in a different time.)  It is that disturbed part of 
    ourself that continues to mess up our reality.  For us whose
    childhoods had difficulties (and that's everyone I know) this 
    child is putrified.   So is the adolescent.  IT is NOT the free
    child nor free adolescent.  It has been the disruptive child and
    the rebellious adolescent who have been jabbing us in our sides
    as we try to act like adults (actually, we act more as "grown-ups"
    than as adults.)
         So, how is this situations remedied or rectified?  Actually,
    quick simply and absolutely effectively (based on my experience
    and the experiences of countless others.)  Meditation is the
    easiest and most direct way.  Why or how so?  Because via meditation
    one can "slip" time and space, alter their energy and get in there
    in between the cracks of time and space.  In there, the child and
    the adolescent (and lots more beyond the scope of this entry)
    can be readily found.  In there, they can be observed, talked to
    and helped.  Remember, as one goes in there, they have the unique
    opportunity to approach their child within or their adolescent 
    within AS THEIR FUTURE.  As their future, you offer "living proof"
    that they survived.  You can give them anything they want...let me
    stress this...you can give them ANYTHING they want (after all, it's
    your meditation :-) ) and EVERYTHING they want.  This includes
    new situations, new parents, toys, friends, homes, etc.  You can
    go in there and relive a particular experience only THIS time you,
    the future you to the child or adolescent, the present you, can
    step in and stop that hand that is about to strike or can tell that
    person off for emotionally abusing that vulnerable child, etc.
         Is this real?  It appears that it is just as real as any other
    past we hold onto.  There are numerous events that most of us could
    recall that have changed over the years.  One time we recall black
    couches, another time we remember that they weren't couches at all
    but rather covered chairs, another we remember yet something else.
    Which was real?  WE are the ones who hold onto the past.  We can 
    let go of the past if we want to.  But, the point here is, if we
    let go of a painful past without having properly released it, it
    comes back to haunt us.  But by going in and giving that past us
    inside a DIFFERENT past, we not only confront or encounter the 
    situation but we can generate a different past to hold onto.  If 
    the child no longer has the charge on it, he/she won't be screaming
    in our daily ears complaining about it.
         Anyway, this is a brief outline of what it is.  It works, it
    works, it works.  In terms of holding onto the past, these are the
    dynamics at play.  Another approach would be to wipe out the past
    and latch onto the future to pull into (but then this is virtually
    identical to the way our child within's future--us--is able to access
    them.)  There are many many intricacies here, but from a functional
    standpoint, it is not important to know how it works.  Just accept
    that it does and then do it.  Again, it isn't the only way, just
    the easiest, quickest and most direct.
    
    Frederick