Conference hydra::dejavu

    Hi Mel,

    some unstructured thoughts for you.

    The two phases between sleep and waking are well-known
    for producing weird effects. Psychologists have even
    given them names: hypnopompic and hypnogogic stages.
    People have *all kinds* of strange mental happenings in
    these stages - so perhaps we could say that what's
    happening to you is just...mental noise. Mmm, not
    very comforting heh? But if it is then you can at least
    say 'There it is again, that mental noise'.

    You don't tell us much about your set of death thoughts.
    Why do they worry you? I think most of the people in this
    conference have some kind of view of death which is
    not overly threatening. A leap into the unknown for sure
    - but not necessarily bad or horrible. The views of
    people here range from 'normal Christian' through many
    variations of soul-permanence to an idea that we merge
    back into 'all-that-is' in a non-personal way. Tell us
    why you feel threatened or frightened.

    Perhaps you are ignoring or suppressing some part
    of you which is trying to force it's way out when your
    concious defences are low - just before sleep.

    Perhaps you could just go to bed with a good book and
    a cup of hot milk with a tot of rum in it?

    Have you read much in this conference? There is a lot of
    material here ;-) and *some* of it relates to your
    question.
    
John.

    PS. How does "Mel" relate to "Mrs. Tommy L. Pelham"?

    
    
    RE: .0 Mel
    
    One area you could check out is your own birth chart.  Have you
    ever had an astrological reading?  You may very well be in cycle
    of endings and new beginnings.  The cycles of Saturn and Pluto
    can bring these types of feelings to the conscious mind.  These
    cycles often relate to a letting go of the ego structures that
    we have built that no longer work in our lives.  Because your
    ego may feel threatened, you may be interpreting the feelings
    as the death of "you" instead of the more likely death of "parts
    of your ego".
    
    Hang in there....you are not alone!
    
    Carole

    Carole & John,
    
    Thanks for the replies, muchly needed, I have read plenty in this
    conference and I did read some other notes on DEATH.  Unfortunatley I
    still felt the need to inquire more.  John, regarding your reply, I
    don't know why I feel frightened, that's just it!!!  It bothers me
    terribly that I have such thoughts.  I was brought up (and still am)a
    devote Catholic Christian and never really had recurring bad or
    frightening thoughts on death.  I just can't figure it out.  Carole,
    you have a point on that astrological chart, I never gave it a thought. 
    I think I'll check it out soon.
    
    Thanx again, 
    
    Mel(issa) Pelham
    

    
    Hi Melissa,
    
    Sorry to hear that you are having some bad dreams.
    
    It would be a good idea to pray and ask God for comfort and protection
    from this dream you are having as well as why. Some times it's an bad
    influeance creaping in.
    I would also study the word of God as your sourse of help. God's word
    will tell you what not to do as well as what to do.
    
    Will pray for you.
    
    May our Lord give you peace and protection.
    
    Your brother in Christ.
    Bill

    Bill, Thank you very much for the prayers, FYI, this problem is not
    w/DREAMS, it lies with THOUGHTS of death, When I finally fall asleep
    I'm o.k. after that, it's just getting to sleep when I have the
    problem.
    
    Mel

    oops, sorry.
    
    Still the word of God will help you.
    

    
    Melissa, a thought came to mind that could pray for help from God, and
    then write down on a piece of paper any reason that that you can think
    of that would cause you thoughts.
    You may find and that the reason in that list.
    
    Bill

    Hey Bill, I think you just might have something there!  Thanks
    
    Mel

    Something I'm doing at the moment is Tarot with a
    Jungian slant. The Jungians would say that when
    something *intrudes* into your concious life then
    you better pay attention to it because it's a message
    to you (from the subconcious, from the Unconcious).
    The card 'Death' in tarot indicates (simplifying) a
    time when something needs to be given up, released.
    This may simply be a wish or an opportunity or
    perhaps you have children to 'let go' or maybe a
    relationship. Only you can find out.

    You could try to get at this by a meditation on
    the card 'Death' itself. Or by asking, respectfully,
    for a dream which will help you to understand.
    If it becomes a serious problem then consult a
    therapist of course.
    
Best wishes, John.

    Melissa! A beautiful name. I note in passing that
    your personal name is "Mrs. Tommy L. Pelham" - and
    not "Melissa Pelham" but perhaps we shouldn't get
    into that one! :-)

    RE: .9
    
    John, The reason for "Mrs. Tommy L. Pelham" instead of Melissa Pelham
    is due to the fact that I am a newlywed of only 3 weeks!  I am proud of
    the fact that I have gone under my husbands name, my profile will be
    adjusted in due time, for show purposes  at the present time!
    
    RE: .7
    
    Bill, Well something must be working for me, (your prayers or mine
    perhaps) I didn't have any thoughts of death last night.  I fell sound
    asleep out of pure exhaustion!  Thanks for the help.
    
    "Melissa Pelham"!!!!!!
    

  You've been married for three weeks and you're having disturbing
  thoughts before going to sleep. You've just adopted your husband's
  name, and you have thoughts of your own death. Maybe there's a
  connection.

  One of the greatest life changes a person can experience is a change
  in marital status. It would be perfectly natural for you to have such
  thoughts at this time. And it would mean that these thoughts will soon
  disappear all by themselves.

  There's very little you could do to stop them or continue them, but it
  should be some comfort to know that it's a normal reaction, and that
  it will pass. Take some comfort in whatever sources of support you
  find work for you, such as talking about it here, discussing with your
  new husband, etc.

  Melissa,

  Now that you've mentioned that you've been married only three weeks
  I think I would say the "death" fears are very much related.  I suggest
  you read the book "She" by Robert Johnson.  It is very short - a one nighter,
  and could shed some light on your worries.  In days of old, marriages were
  first a mourning then a celebration.  The mourning was for the new brides
  loss - the "death" of her maiden self.  Something modern cultures totally
  ignore.  You are perhaps experiencing that death and mourning it through 
  your fears.  The book does a good job of discussing this from a feminine 
  psychological of view and I highly recommend it.

  Take Care
  Terry

    
    Congatulations Melissa,
    
    May God and Jesus guide you both.
    
    Bill

    RE: .12,
    
    Terry, 
    Thanks for the reccomendation!  Sounds like I need to check it out!  I
    think I'll look into that book.  I never realized that loosing my
    maiden name could cause such horrible thoughts.  It really blows my
    mind.
    
    Mel

    Remember a few years ago when Reagan was shot? and the Pope was
    shot?
    
    Call me paranoid, but I kept having the feeling I'd be next.
    (Mind you, I don't categorize myself with either of the above)
    Everywhere I went I was on the lookout for a crazed sniper.
    
    The feeling eventually past.  And now I wonder how many people
    haven't the slightest idea that they're about to be gunned down,
    and then they are.
    
    Richard

    Mel - congratulations! :-)

    It's hard to avoid the conclusion that the
    'death' of your old way of life and name
    has, at least something, to do with your
    pre-sleep thoughts.

    Sweet dreams.
    
John D.

    
    Someone said that there was nothing you could do to stop the
    thoughts...
    
    All you have to do is acknowledge the message and the thoughts will
    stop.  If the "loss of the maiden self" idea clicks, go with it -
    and I'll bet the thoughts go away....
    
    
    guy

    Well for two nights now I was not having the thoughts, but last night
    they came back again!  I thought they were gone, but not yet I gues.
    
    Oh well, maybe soon....I'm trying to forget about them, really I AM!
    
    Mel

    
    re: .18 (Melissa)
    
    ...so much for that theory....  :-)
    
    guy

    Re.18
    
    Hi Melissa,
    
    In addition to what Terry wrote, I believe that in the Buddhist marriage
    ceremony the couple wears black to represent the death of each other to
    the unity of one.  At funerals, people wear white in celebration. 
    
    If there are any onsite Buddhists, please clarify or correct if I'm wrong.
    
    Cindy

    Hi Melissa,
    
    I do the same thing.  I have a hard time falling asleep sometimes because
    I lay there thinging about death and how and when I will go. I am a worry
    wart I sometimes can't sleep because of worrying about how were going
    to pay bills, the end of the world, the envirnoment, war, the future of
    my kids.  I always thought everybody had these thoughts.  It's reality
    isn't it?  But, you just can't waste your life worrying and wondering just
    live your life the best you can and do what you think is right.
    I find that when I do think about these things I had watched news that 
    night or someone brought up someone who has died that was close to us.
    I get frustrated when I do spend half the night worrying- what I do is
    pray to god and ask to be guided and that usually works.
    
    
    Good Luck and Congratulations! 
    Cathy
       

    re .21,
    
    Cathy, Thanks for the input, I do most of my praying at night, and I
    usually ask God for guidance, these thoughts (of death) have stopped
    every now and then, but they come back on occasion to "haunt me" if you
    will.  I hate the tought of being shot to death, I think that one
    scares me the most!  It's almost so real  that I actual feel it
    happening.  I have a very vivid imagination, even when I ahve the
    thought that I die in a car accident, I can almost picture evry last
    detail, (Gory detail that is!).
    
    Anyway, like I said, they've stopped some what, and I only have these
    thoughts sometimes now, not all the time.  At least I can sleep most
    nights!
    
    Melissa