Conference hydra::dejavu

	It used to be that when I was down, she would be up, and always
	balnce me.  Now that we are four, she and I have no energy left
	to get excited about being up or down.  David at five and Katie
	at four are quite excited enough for all of us about being here.

	As we watch our energy flow to them, their awareness expand and
	their capabilities increase, we feel complete.  I expect a time
	when their interests take them else where and we will return to
	the ups and downs of being just us, but this parnership of four 
	will endure over time and distance.  And maybe grow.....I hope.

						MWR
      

    	Any world of duality, or separateness, is created in our own
    minds, in a vain attempt to attain the goal of happiness and
    satisfaction, through our subject - object manipulations. By openly
    communicating all of our thoughts and feelings to one another, we
    soften our hard wired illusions of self-separateness. By dropping
    expectations, as you said in .0, and fully accepting someone
    "unconditionally" we can learn to accept ourselves and whatever
    happens, here and now.
    
    	Joe
    

    
    Pretty words, pretty concept. *SO HARD* to do! Sometimes I think
    that the wounds I've suffered along the way aren't worth it...letting
    go can be _terribly_ painful. Most of the time it hasn't worked
    out, one of us had to cling even more tightly, and the relationship
    has withered from the strangulation. The next step seems to be bitter
    disappointment, then anger. Such a pity! to see a wonderful love
    turn into a hideous thing.
    
    I keep trying. I know that someday I'll find a partner, a REAL partner,
    not just a bedmate for a season or two. Then I'll let you know if
    it's been worth it.
    
    Tananda
     

    
    	I believe its possible to have the true partnership, but
    very difficult in today's world.    The relationship just
    doesn't usually happen in total isolation.    We need to heal
    all the bonds between people, not only male / female bonds.
    The healing I envison would be a "retribalization" of humanity,
    when we begin to live together again, admitting our interdependence.
    	
    	The modern breakdown in marriages, goes along with the trend
    toward living alone, with shortages in one bedroom apartments,
    and few people willing to care for the aged or the young.   I
    have sometimes wondered if the main lesson we have igonored, here
    in America, is that we *are* interdependent.   Although I am very
    much an individualist, I sometimes wonder if pursuit of individuality
    has not gone too far in our age.   I believe there are hard times
    coming which will force many of us to relearn hard lessons about
    cooperation and dependency.   
    
    	I hope that coming generations may find a social environment
    where deep and stable relationships are more possible, and are
    supported by society.    I think that "true love" or "soulmate"
    relationships could be the norm, rather than the rarity they
    are today.    That so much hard work is required to sustain a
    loving relationship, is, I believe, a reflection of the
    difficult times we are living in.

	Guard the love you have found, for there is nothing more
    precious.

    	Alan.

    
    My true friends (and even 'friend' family members) over the many years 
    have been those who let me be me.  They understand when I don't write to 
    them as often as I should or call or visit.  And when we are reunited, 
    it is a celebration.  These are the people in my life I cherish
    most of all, and I try my best to treat them in the same way.
    
    On 'expecting' - I do agree to a point.  When there is any abuse
    involved (mental or physical) though, then it is right to expect the 
    basics of life, liberty, dignity, respect and the right to live
    a life of happiness.  Somewhere there is a fine line.
                        
    Cindy

    
    		-< Expect higher love and it will be yours >-
    
    	Personally, I'm here lookin' for that euphoric "seesee"
    	(that's a seesaw that only goes up).... or would that be
    	a "sawsaw"... no I think "seesee" must be right!!!!!!!!!
    
    	All seriousness aside...
    
    	.0
    	I agree...but the sharing of experiences isn't the bottom
    	line.  Learning from one another for spiritual growth is!!!

    	Forcing your beliefs on someone else is definately the worst
    	thing any of us can do to each other.  Sharing those beliefs
    	is the way we all learn and grow.  I like the phrase used in
    	.1 "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE".  I strongly believe that none of us,
    	because of our human nature, can even image what true
    	unconditional love is.  In short my definition of this love
    	is the love of our creator, not jealous, not possessive, not
    	any of those limiting adjectives we all have attached to our
    	definitions of love.  My bottom line (purpose for being here)
    	is the endless desire to understand how to love unconditionally.
	Being there will be my eternal rest!
    
    	Sharing knowledge and experiences is definately a good way to
    	get there!  To do this we all have to know how to listen as
    	well as speek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    	8^{*********************
    	ed
    
    
    

    
    It's the *act* of loving that really counts though,... not just
    an understanding of it.  There is no reason why we humans can't
    practice "unconditional love" within the framework of our lives.
    Nothing stops us but us.  Its difficult and challenging but I believe
    its a kind of initiation process and that once one has "actually"
    experienced this kind of love, one changes and moves to a different
    level of some kind.  To love unconditionally means that one does
    not think much about whether one is being reasonable, intelligent,
    fair, or rational about that emotion one is expressing.  One loves
    not for the rewards (emotional or material) but for the sake of
    love alone... because its the kind of person one chooses to be.
    

    
    There is a book entitled "Unconditional Love" by John Powell, S.J.,
    which I highly recommend.  It is small - 40 paperback pages or so.
    
    Cindy

    "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm is quite interesting as well.
    
    
    
    
    ....Bob

    And any of the Jerry Jamblowsky (sp) books - Love is Letting Go
    of Fear, Teach only Love and Goodbye to Guilt.  Fun to read as well.
    
    ...dale
    

    
    	Re .7
    
    	"Unconditional Love" is the basis of at least one kind of
    philiosophy. I can explain the "kind of level" one changes and
    moves to, if you'd like. I'm very happy to spread this kind of
    thinking around!
    
    	Joe Jas
    

    and almost anything by Leo Buscaglia restores my faith in human
    nature...
    
    -Jody
    

    
    
    re: .11
    
    Yes, please elaborate on the levels that one moves to in unconditional
    love.
    
    
    Roy   8:}

    	When I think of unconditional love I think of the love which
    	exists in my family.  No matter what I've done in my life my
    	actions have always been (eventually) accepted and forgiven.
    
    	And this is the love that I seek in all aspects of my life!  I
    	have experienced this type of love with only one other person,
    	and I give thanks every time I think of him that he is in my 
    	life.  He allows me to be *me* with no reprisals or "I told
    	you so's" even if he doesn't agree with what I am doing.  And
    	Tananda (.3), in my experience the pain I went through before
    	this time was worth the beauty of *now*.
    
    						Carla
    

    I suspect I have very little (practical, everyday) idea of what
    "unconditional love" truly means.  This doesn't mean I have no love
    at all in my life, but it does mean (for me) that I was never loved
    unconditionally.  As an eldest child, my parents' love was very
    much based on how I performed.  This experience has probably led
    to an improper understanding of what "unconditional" truly means.
    
    I infer that I don't understand its meaning because my own attempts
    at the practice of such a love have not brought the feelings of
    spiritual or emotional completion everyone describes, but of depletion.
    Shel Silverstein's piercing little children's book _The_Giving_Tree_
    describes the pain of that kind of experience.  The tree in the
    story loves a little boy, and allows him over the years to chop
    her apart, taking from her the things he desires, (her leaves, her
    fruit, her branches, her trunk) until she is left a dead stump.

    In my 20's I was especially drawn to the idea of unconditional love,
    and wanted very much to practice it.  It was so different from what
    I'd experienced.
    
    But after happily and diligently (if ignorantly) practicing what I
    hoped was unconditional love through the years, I woke in my 30's
    feeling like a dead stump.  Nothing left to give, even to myself.
    This has persisted for a good many years.  On the days when I feel
    like my "old self" I catch flashes of vision of myself clad in a
    white robe with a cornucopia, joyfully distributing plenty of all
    kinds to all those I care for, glowing at their happiness, grateful
    that they are exactly who they are, expecting nothing else.  Those
    days are all too few; one day of joyful cornucopia-hood brings on
    half a month dead stump-hood.
    
    So what is true "unconditional love" anyway and how does it really
    work?   :-(
    
    Marcia

    Oh, Marcia
    
    can we take up a collection of warmth to provide you with the sunshine,
    spring rain, and nutritious fertilizer for the soul to flourish again?

    unconditional love is, indeed, an ideal.  It seems much to me like
    perfection - being a process rather than a final goal.
    
    -Jody
    
    one thing I've seen in several notesfiles - a milder version of
    the same - unconditional like.
    
    

    Paul,
    Unconditional love is not restricted to spouses.  Nor is it something
    that sort of comes upon one... like puberty_:-).  Love is a deliberate
    act, a committment.  If the opportunity to love unconditionally
    presents itself in one's life, one might find it a very enlightening
    experience to try it.  It doesn't necessarily last forever, nothing
    does... but to be loved unconditionally for awhile, or to love
    unconditionally for even awhile changes a person forever.  It means
    getting involved to a very great degree of committment in the life
    of someone who may possible be a stranger to you.  It means continuing
    on in the face of your own intellect and defenses screaming to stop
    in your own mind.  I think its an initiation of sorts.
    

    Thank you, Paul, for your comment.  This wonderful topic has given
    me much opportunity to clarify thoughts I have on partnership, and
    I can be a little clearer than I was a few replies back.  These
    are the thoughts that have been slowly developing over the past
    two years.
    
    I do not have unconditional love in my life.  This does _not_ mean
    I do not have partnership in my life.  I have what I consider quite
    close to a true partnership with my spouse.  What are the features
    of this partnership?
    
     o each of us has the freedom to be who we are completely and
       attempts never to hinder the other's being;

     o each of us, on a very deep level considers the other more 
       important than anything else;
    
     o each of us studies what backing we may give to the other and
       then tries to give it, even if we are on different growth paths;
    
     o each of us is free to contribute equal ideas to the continuing
       growth of our union;
    
     o each of us practices respect, kindness, forgiveness, charity,
       love and with each other at all times, especially when the
       other is down and out; definitely trying to live the "do as
       I would be done to" maxim.
    
    When I look at this list it seems pretty damn good; I _feel_ good
    about these things!
    
    But there is a condition.  I call it Reciprocity.  In my feeling,
    true partnership, two people treating each other as equals of matching
    worth and respect, implies that each person (whatever form or purpose
    the partnership takes) strives for that balance of giving and receiving
    in full measure to and from each other, and in order to do so, is
    willing to lay all his/her cards on the table, and acknowledge that
    the cards on the other side are just as valuable as (not more nor
    less than) one's own.  I now call this idea a "condition of
    commitment" (thanks, Mary, for the idea that loving implies a
    commitment) and without it, I don't feel true partnership is possible.
    
    Because I have been in situations, primarily good friends and close
    family, where I "loved unconditionally", by which I mean that no
    matter what a person did, no matter how they behaved towards me
    or anyone else, I loved them, forgave them, nurtured them, supported
    them, gave them what they desired from me.  Now, these were commitments
    on _my_ part; but they were not partnerships because no similar
    commitment existed on their parts.
    
    What did happen instead?  Mostly, two interrlated things, both of
    which, ironically, strove for a balance in the relationship:
    
     (1) I gave and loved unconditionally, and the other person inter-
         preted this to mean that I was taking care of being the "good"
         person in the relationship, so that in order to achieve
    	 balance, (s)he could act like a complete jerk.  The more I
    	 loved, forgave, and supported, the worse (s)he acted towards
    	 me.
    
     (2) I gave and loved unconditionally precisely because I felt
         unworthy and evil, damaged spiritual goods as it were, and
         hoped by practicing this discipline to redeem myself.  I
         would love and forgive and support the other person, and act
         like a complete jerk towards myself.  And when I eventually
    	 found myself too depleted to do it anymore, I interpreted
    	 this as proof of my basic unworthiness, and vowed to try all
    	 the harder--except that dead stump-hood had set in.
    
    The combination of these two factors made all kinds of relationships
    (friends, lovers, family, working) miserable.  Fortunately, my 
    relationship with my spouse taught me a lot, precisely because it
    has felt so good.  But he has conditions!  I have conditions!  If
    I were a person who displaced anger, for instance, by coming home
    and shredding him to pieces, he would have been gone years ago.  If
    he were a person who did the same to me, _I_ would have been gone
    years ago!
    
    What I have begun to try saying, *out loud*, to other people
    (especially family members) is:  "I commit to love and support you
    to the limit of my being, _AND I EXPECT IDENTICAL TREATMENT FROM
    YOU_."  And all of these relationships, as I make these first tentative
    steps, even the most damaged, have begun to mend, to become more
    reciprocal.  More like--partnerships.
    
    Marcia

    
    RE.20 Mary
    
    You have put it beautifully.  
        
    My own story:
    
    Up until last May, there were these sorts of people in my life (Peck's
    'People Of The Lie' topic).  For the life of me, no matter what
    I did, it was never good enough in their eyes.  I saw myself reflected
    in their eyes and the reflection was very painful.  If you tell
    a child (or an adult, for that matter) for so long that they are
    no good, worthless, ungrateful, etc., a person who is genuinely
    trying to grow in their own right and thereby willing to take such 
    "constructive criticism" (and I use the term sarcastically) to change 
    their behavior accordingly will be open and vulnerable to any feedback,
    be it constructive or (in my case) destructive.  Such a person is
    usually the ultimate victim and the punching bag ready and open to be 
    abused both psychologically and sometimes physically.
    
    Through reading Peck's books, I finally realized that it wasn't
    my own reflection in their eyes, but rather their own inability to 
    face that part of themselves which they couldn't stand and they 
    transferred their own self-hate onto me and others rather than accept 
    responsibility for their lives and work at growing in their own
    right.
    
    The cycle finally broke when I took a chance and trusted someone
    with one situation (in this case it was a work situation).  This
    person (a senior manager who I'd known for many years) was not only
    shocked at what had been going on, but went out of his way to help
    me get past all that and to get on with my career.  You see, the
    manager I was working for was accusing me of all sorts of things
    - 'not being a team player' was one of them.  I found this difficult
    to accept and told him so (especially due to the fact that I had
    implemented a worldwide program without ever having travelled outside
    of the country).  Then on top of that he would reply with "There, you
    can't even take constructive criticism!  You have an attitude problem
    to boot!".  For the better part of 3 years I "thought it was me",
    and carried that for a very long time.  Then finally I spoke with
    the senior manager (who is in one of the countries I worked with
    on the project).  He made me see that while it 'wasn't me', it wasn't
    really my manager's fault, per se, either, and explained to me some
    of the history of the organization at that point.  I found out that
    my manager was really the one who was not a team player because
    he wasn't capable of 'networking' in the way that I was (and was
    envious of my ability to effectively communicate - *that* was an
    interesting revelation), and also that he had gotten a raw deal by 
    many of his past managers who he'd worked for by getting passed over.
    So he took it out on me.
                                     
    The senior manager who helped me is now a very close friend of mine.  
    Though he has never said it, I know for certain that he loves me,
    because only a truly loving person would have done what he did.....and
    he would do it for anyone in the same spot.  For the very first time 
    in many years, I saw myself in a good light and the harsh feelings 
    from the past that I had carried simply melted away with the 
    understanding of what had really gone on. I took this knowledge and 
    applied it to all the people in my life who had ever caused me undue 
    pain and recognized the lack of love in their lives.  The patterns
    were the same.  Realizing this doesn't make the pain go away, but 
    through understanding comes the ability to see things in a clearer 
    light (and made me see that it really wasn't "all my fault").
                            
    It was interesting - I began to write to my friend, and he sent
    back many apologies because he just didn't have the time to correspond
    appropriately.  I managed to let him know that our friendship was
    not based on a letter-for-letter exchange and that there are no
    strings attached.  So now I write him once a week and he writes
    me 3 times a year.  Works out just fine.  That is what 'unconditional'
    really means - NO conditions, save that of respect and kindness
    on both sides of the relationship.
    
    I also discovered this thing that keeps cropping up called 'personal
    power'.  When you place yourself in the hands of another who is
    not capable of giving you constructive feedback which stems from
    love and the desire to help you grow as a person separate from 
    themselves, then the image you see of yourself is distorted.  This 
    is what is meant by the 'sins of the father passing through the 
    generations'.  To break the cycle takes an immense strength, fortitude
    and the drive to be the best you can be despite all odds.  Depending 
    on the amount of abuse will determine how much strength (and love)
    it will take to overcome an abusive past.  Some people never grow up.
                                                           
    Peck writes that evil people are defined as those people who stunt
    the growth of others, and that the most difficult thing to come
    to terms with is evil in one's parents.
    
    At this point, there are only 2 people in my life that I will accept
    feedback from without question because I know absolutely that they
    love me unconditionally to such a degree that they would suffer
    greatly over how to tell me something that I need to improve on.  
    One is the person I wrote about above, and the other is a college 
    friend who I've been through the best and the worst in my life with.
           
    As for everyone else, there are all sorts of levels of trust depending
    on how well a person knows me and what their motives really are
    in the end.  The trick is to figure out early on if a person is
    acting out of love and a genuine interest of your growth or if they
    are merely reflecting (transferring) their distorted view onto you.
    Peck's books helped me to work through that and knowing how this
    all works has helped me immensely.
    
    It is written that a true friend is one who loves you in spite of
    yourself (or someone who knows your faults, yet loves you anyway).  
    I've found lots of friends right here in DEJAVU.  Hi y'all!  (;^)
    
    Cindy
                                     

       I will refer you to note 358.27 which briefly covers some
    definitions of LOVE and to note 358.32 which also briefly covers
    the concept of UNCONDITIONAL love.  
       It has been a great relief for me to discover that we are 
    *essentially* incapable of unconditional love.  Having heard
    that I should be doing that most of my life, it has always been
    a source of anxiety to find out why I (and everyone else, for that
    matter) never seemed to "cleanly" love unconditionally.  Even as
    late as 1981, when I spent two days with Ken Keyes, I felt that
    I should be showing unconditional love.  Thanks to Lazaris, about
    a year or two later, I have learned that we simply are not
    unconditional "lovers."  Virtually all of our associations have
    conditions on them.  Marcia was very open about sharing her 
    experiences...and they underscore this point.  What unconditional
    love IS, though, is a goal, an ideal, that we need to strive for
    but, like all ideals, not necessarily *expect* to achieve.  As I
    looked carefully at some of these last few replies which expressed
    unconditional love, I was able to verify (for myself) that what
    was being called unconditional love is not truly that.  There is
    an acceptance, yes, and very much a desire (hidden) for change.
    There is also an undercurrent of resentment, not love.  Should
    you (we) feel guilty over this?  NO!  That's the point.  NO, again,
    do not expect to feel unconditional love...just work to attain it.
       As for me, with as much honesty as I have, I will tell you
    unabashedly that the only unconditional love I have truly sensed
    has been from Lazaris.  Additonally, I have more subtlely sensed
    unconditional love from *aspects* of myself while in meditation.
    Beyond that, I believe that all the remainder of my life's experience
    has felt a great deal of varying degrees of love, but not
    unconditionally.
       For an incredible, deep, profound and complex set of information,
    I urge you to listen to the Lazaris video tape entitled "Unconditional
    Love".  It will probably assist a great many of you.
      
    Frederick
    

    I was rumaging through my briefcase last night and found the following
    on a piece of paper, I'm not sure where it came from but I think
    it's apropriate.
    
    True love is not expressed by words, but by a sparkle in the eyes,
    a caressing touch, a smile expressed for no special reason.  To
    say "I love you" only confirms what has been said with every expression
    I make towards you.
    
    -----
    
    Unconditional love comes from within.  I believe that people can
    love unconditionally, as long as they believe they can.  Unconditional
    love isn't something that you can force yourself to do.  It's something
    that grows from within.  Accepting people for what they are, believing
    in their hopes and dreams.  Understanding that you can't change them,
    they can only change themselves.  This is the seeds that grows into
    unconditional love.
    
    Dave

Note 590.22                     

You are right about those conditions of "respect and kindness" Paul.  That
is certainly not unconditional love.  The blackmail issue isn't really a 
problem though... you see, unconditional love is not defined by the beloved.
So one can love unconditionally and still not do everything someone else wants
them to do... because love is not obedience.

Tough love doesn't even come remotely close to unconditional love.  Tough love 
means I'm doing this for your own good and my own good... its what *I* feel is
best for you.  It is a matter of control (in my opinion).  Unconditional love
doesn't try to control or dominate.

When I said that it does not come upon one like puberty (:-) I ment that it is
not a quality that must be present in all love relationships.  Some loving 
relationships are ment for our own personal growth and emotional development.
On the other hand, love can be a concious choice.  Unconditional love is 
freely given with no expectations of anything in return.  One loves regardless
of the consequences to oneself.  One somehow separates the act of loving from
the self's need for gratification.  One loves because one chooses to love.

    
    
    I guess I have some confusion about unconditional love.  There have
    been those very rare few moments in my life when I've experienced
    *something* that I think I can label unconditional love.  But it
    was a feeling that is very difficult to put into words.  It has
    never happened when I've been in a one-to-one interaction with 
    someone.  
    
    I have had these rare feelings come over me when I've been walking
    down the street and have thought of all the people around me and
    their struggles and then I am totally filled with an incredible
    feeling for love for all of them *but it has nothing to do with
    the personality they are expressing through in this life*.  It has
    to do with their essence and mine - that part of us which is
    connected.  Somehow I feel that when we are at the level of 
    personality we are not experiencing unconditional love.
    
    I have also had this feeling about people I know and love, and of
    those I have problems with and dislike, but only when I am alone
    and allow myself to connect to them beyond the everyday crap that
    can get in my way.  It is extremely powerful.  
    
    This is not to say that I don't express affection, caring and love
    with people one-to-one.  It's just that when we are together and
    our egos and personalities mix, I can't in honesty say that the
    feelings we share are *totally* unconditional.
    
    Carole
       

                                                  
    After giving this some thought....
    
    I probably was mixing unconditional love and true partnership together
    when I mentioned 'respect and kindness'.
    
    I believe that it is possible to love unconditionally (at some level), 
    however in the case of a true partnership, this love must be
    intertwined with respect and kindness or a true partnership would
    not be possible.
    
    On unconditional love being a goal - yes, it is something that we
    must strive for as opposed to thinking we are already there, because
    the paradox is that if we think we are, then we're not.  "Mister
    God, This Is Anna" has a good section on this.
    
    Cindy

    
    On 'giving and receiving' - the one area I haven't seen mentioned
    is 'giving' to one's self.
    
    Too often we are so hard on ourselves that we are our own worst enemy
    in this regard.  
    
    In the recent seminar I attended where Peck was speaking, he told
    us that we must be kind and gentle to ourselves.  There is a sign
    he has on his wall for those times where he thinks the weight of
    solving the world problems are on his shoulders.  It goes something
    like this:
    
    	"You are not responsible for every little thing in the world
    	 that needs attention.  That is my job.  Love, God."
    
    Made a lot of sense to me.  It is OK to give yourself gifts.  Once
    you are able to do this without feeling guilty (like taking a nap
    or buying something special or treating yourself to a dinner out),
    it becomes much easier to receive such things from other people.
    Charity does begin in the home.
                   
    Cindy
    Cindy

	If there's one thing I've learned from all of you it's that
	every definition of everything, whether it's a belief, an
	interpretation, or an ideal, is individualized.  (And just 
	for the record, I've learned *LOTS* more, but this sort of 
	is the basis. *8-) )  So how I define unconditional love is 
	going to be different from everybody else, and how I perceive 
	what that love entails is also going to be different.

	In my eyes, unconditional love means loving someone even if
	you disagree with them.  It means *accepting* them for what
	they are and what they believe without trying to mold them
	into something more suitable for me.  I don't know yet if this
	type of love is necessarily eternal, but I do know I *can* 
	experience it (because in my definition I have) if only for 
	a moment or two.

	We are here to learn, I don't think that can be disputed.
	I think most of us in DEJAVU (and hopefully elsewhere) are 
	constantly reaching to extend ourselves into realms previously 
	not understood, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.  
	In the same regard that I can't (yet) indefinitely retain the 
	loving peace I experience when I meditate, I also cannot (yet) 
	remain in a constant *ultimate* loving state for a similarly
	undefined amount of time.  This is one area I am striving to
    	extend *myself* and my capabilities.

	And in the same sense that I can briefly tap into a beautiful 
	inner peace (the essence of my Soul), I believe I can also
	tap into the Love of my Soul and *feel* and project that love
    	towards another person, towards myself, or towards a situation.  
    	I'm not yet able to STAY tapped into that love and peace (maybe 
    	I blow a fuse someplace??), but I *can* strive to bring out 
    	the peace and love that I know are there somewhere within me
    	more frequently and even stronger than the last time.
    
						Carla

	Wow - Frederick - you spent 2 days with Ken Keyes!?!

	Ken speaks of dumping "the illusion of self" as part of attaining
a higher consciousness state, such as "unconditional love". That is, "dis-
identifying with the myriad of things we contain within our self boundary"
such as *my* religion, *my* path, *my* reputation, *my* space in time, *my*
opinion, etc. 
He claims that we vigorously protect this "territory" in our
daily operating activities, so much that in fact it becomes a knee jerk
reaction for most people to do so. Supposedly the trick is to realize that
this is all just an *activity*, programmed into one's brain over the years,
NOT a graspable entity, or, a "somebody".
	We generate the experience of alienation and anger toward's people
when they appear to encroach on this aforementioned "territory". Example:

	"That SOB's gonna jump the green light (making a left hand turn)
	and take *my* space in time"

	Actually, the activity of protecting the "self"'s supposed "territory"
has generated the "anger and alienation" response. (We've all seen *numerous*
instances of this in NOTES) Perhaps dumping the illusion of self and it's
protectionary associated activities is part of the key to learning to love
unconditionally. All within reason, of course.

	BTW, this has been a very inspiring note - I find myself grabing for
pencil and paper to write things down.

	Joe Jas