Conference hydra::dave_barry

    Who reads the old notes? I do, and now they're even older! Networks
    allow us to talk to each other not just over space, but time as well!
    
    Besides, old noters are less likely to rebut.
    
    Many of the contrarian grammar rules expressed earlier (e.g., "Don't
    use no double negatives") are collected in a book by William Safire
    called Fumble Rules. He defines a Fumble Rule as a rule which is a
    counterexample of itself. It's a fun coffee-table book.
    
    My favorite Winston Churchill story is of when he told his gardener
    that he wanted more shade in the front yard; he asked him to plant an
    oak tree there that afternoon. When the gardener protested that it
    would take fifty years or more for the tree to mature, he replied, 
    "You're right; plant it right away."
    
    				Jim B.

    Just the place for this:
    
    
                      William Safire's Rules for Writers:
                      -----------------------------------
     
     1.  Remember to never split an infinitive.

     2.  The passive voice should never be used.

     3.  Do not put statements in the negative form.

     4.  A verb has to agree with their subjects.

     5.  Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

     6.  If you reread your work, you can find on rereading
         a great deal of repetition can be avoided be
         rereading and editing.

     7.  A writer must not shift your point of view.

     8.  And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

     9.  Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to
         end a sentence with.

    10.  Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!

    11.  Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in
         long sentences, as of ten or more words, to their
         antecedents.

    12.  Writing carefully, dangling participles must be
         avoided.

    13.  If any word is improper at the end of a sentence,
         a linking verb is.

    14.  Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing
         metaphors.

    15.  Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

    16.  Everyone should be careful to use a singular
         pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

    17.  Always pick on the correct idiom.

    18.  The adverb always follows the verb.

    19.  Eschew obfuscation.

    20.  Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the
         plague; seek viable alternatives.


    
    Cheers, Laurie.