Conference 7.286::sports_90

    
    what newletter about the draft? upcoming expectations? more importantly
    have you seen the preseason schedule? When's GIANTSMANIA?
    
    mike

    Remind me to place my puke bucket closer to my terminal before I read
    future newsletters........
    
    :-)
    
    H'awk

    Careful, Hawk, or he'll send you that DAMNED Jets newsletter, like
    the one I just got.
    
    It's kinda like an electronic version of Midnight, ya know?  All
    BS, little or no facts.
    
    However, PARVAX::WARDLE sure brings back some memories.  Has a nice
    ring to it.
    
    Hey, maybe this could be a Giants note, too.  Yeah.
    
    Lee

    LeE, that's why I needed a bucket nexted to my terminal- I'm on
    @JETS.DIS.........
    
    Yes, those DAMNED Jets newsletters are all BS, no facts, but they do
    get more and more entertaining as the football season wears on, and the
    Jets battle it out with the Pats for that final spot in the
    standings.......  :-)
    
    H�wk

C'mon Wardle move this sucker to 31. 

Lufay is in the Carribean writing reggea lyrics for the Jet's nexted season. 

Jeff

       Got mine too!
                                   Denny

    I'm changing my node & username!

    	how do I get on this jets.dis list anyways???

     re: .9
      Just say something very insulting (which is easy) about the Jest and
    it'll be automatic!
       Here's an example: 'The Jest are so bad, a Pats cast-off will
    probably be their starting QB'.
                                     Denny

    Yo Waddle, the Jests are the bestest team in the AFC lEast. 
    
    There, I said something good about that Jests, does that mean that I
    can get off the .dis list now.

    	Wait a second here...  Wasn't JoJ the Debils fans who told me
    to wear my Giantsmania joisey?  8^)  
    
    	The niners don't get to defeat the Jets this year so I don't
    have much to say.

    re: Mike Heiser
    
    You cain run but you cannot hide.
    
    re: LEVERS::STROUT
    
    Done deal, you are officially on JETS.DIS. Welcome.
    
    re: Riggen
    
    Shaddup, and then go ski into a tree at high speed. Maybe it'll jump
    start your 10K brain.
    
    JoJ

    re Strout,
    
    
    Asking to be on the Jests.dis is almost as bad as being forced to watch
    them play the Buccaneers. 
    
    
    You blew it collegeboy!!!

>>    	how do I get on this jets.dis list anyways???

Well, now you've done it.  Problem is there's no answer to the question "how
the HELL do I get off this jets.dis list anyways???" 

;^).

j.

    	Cool, I made the list!  

Jets.dis is like herpes....you can never get rid of it, and it 
keeps coming back.....

'Saw

    Yeah, but the Jets.herpes is only sent out in proportion to how
    well they are doing............we didn't get many issues lasted
    year!
    
    Claybone

    With all the Patsie people they have now, we probably won't get many
    issues this season either.
    
    Mike

    Mikey Heiser you just made my day. 
    
    thanks for the help.
    
    I am fllllloooorrrrrwwwwaaaarrrddd!!!

    Uh Oh...I feel a song coming on......
    
    JoJ

�    Uh Oh...I feel a song coming on......
    
No, that's just your Jets-LAX(tm) kicking in....

    I would like to be on the Jets news letter.  I do realize that this
    is an exclusive letter,  but as a loyal Jets fan since 1967 I feel
    that I paid my dues so please admitt me.  
    
    Yours Truely
                                                          
    Joe Willie  
    
    A JETS FAN FOREVER
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    john
    
     

    Re: -1
    
    No John, you have to say something nasty about the Jests first!

    No he won't be sorry....and, John, FWIW...I thought you were on the
    distribution list already. I'll double check and add you if you're not.
    
    JoJ

    I saw on SportsChannel where Blair Thomas is in mini-camp, and has no
    plans on sitting out until a contract is signed.  He said camp provided
    a time for him to "learn the system".
    
    FYI.
    
    Glenn

    WESLEY WALKER is forced into retirement.
    
    John

    
    Hear dat JoJ? now who you gonna draft?

    He has all of those ex-Patriots to pick from now.

    Hi fellow Jetsters...I have some most epic news for you all.
    
    I just found out that the current issue of JETStream is on it's way to
    me via Cliff Claven. In case you are unaware of what JETStream  is,
    it's the annual season ticket holder's newsletter.
    
    And, you are all in luck....we just recently put a scanner in our demo
    room. Now I can scan the newsletter and send it to all you staunch
    supporters of the NY JETS.
    
    Look for it in the mail in the not too distant future. I'm sure it will
    have an excellent writeup on Blair "RotY" Thomas.
    
    JoJ
    
    PS - All you read only noter Jets fans will have to speak up and tell
    me where to find you on the E-net....actually, I can do a show known
    links and find out who you all are anyway, but I think you should come
    out of the closet (so to speak) on your own.
    
    

Wow dude, that is most triumphant news.  Now I will possess a
most savory comedy rag to read while creating SLOF in the privacy
of my own home.

What an excellent excuse for a party.  Will Eddie Van Halen be appearing
in a cameo role in the newsletter?   Will it have some most bodacious
babes in it, or will it just be Ugly Coach dudes?

Don't forget dude, wind your watch...

    	Hey Jo*, you still willing to wager with me when your Jests
    play my Pats?  Are we going to use those sissy point spreads or
    will this be a manly winner-take-all bet?
    
    				/Don

    /Don, I never make sissy_patsy_fan type bets like you're used to. I
    know that if you were a born and bred manly NJ Man like me, you
    wouldn't have even axed that question.
    
    What's the wager? I forgot what we said. Something about a spack of
    Guinness?
    
    JoJ

    	I don't drink sissy beer that you need to spoon out.  Since
    Dins told me you always try to find a way to welsh out on a bet
    I wanted to set the terms.  How 'bout a six pack of Samuel Adams,
    a manly New England beer?
    
    				/Don

    Samantha Adams is a wuss beer. After all, guys like  Dinz drink it.
    
    HOw about Watney's...UK's manliest beer.
    
    JoJ

Sam Adams is not wuss beer.  It is the only commercial beer in America brewed
according to Germany's purity law, and that my friend is the
ultimate in beer.

Of course, even a Sammy can't compare to one of my homebrews....8^) 8^) 8^)

Oh, and by the way, I am heartened by your mention of Watney's...I know
that you have some taste, Jo*  8^)

later DUDE,
'Saw

    re: links
    
    And I thought i was safe with the next unseen key!
    
    TC
    

    any truth to the rumor that Drazen Petrovich is a Jests fan?

    RE: Drazen Petrovich
    
    	Is that the ugly guy on the Trailblazers that looks like Jim
    Wardle?

    you got it Slasher.  Has anyone ever seen these 2 at the same
    time/place?
    
    Mike

>Sam Adams is not wuss beer.  It is the only commercial beer in America brewed
>according to Germany's purity law, and that my friend is the
>ultimate in beer.
 
    Not quite true, but being a soccer fan, what do we expect.  Several
    American beers are brewed within the German purity laws, including
    some of the mass produced ones (Bud or Miller comes to mind).  Sammy's
    is the only American Beer imported into Germany; at least that's
    what the commercials say.
    
    Stick to wine coolers, Frank, until you get off this soccer thing.
    
    Bruce

�    some of the mass produced ones (Bud or Miller comes to mind).  Sammy's
�    is the only American Beer imported into Germany; at least that's

Not Miller.  If I'm not mistaken (and I'm usually not when it comes
to beer) Miller uses rice to smooth it out, along with something
called "natural hops flavor".  Bud uses corn syrup.

While I can't speak for all the commercial beers available (there might
be some microbreweries who stick to the law) if you add any of those
adjuncts, then it isn't German purity.

I'm no expert, but to the best of my knowledge, the law reads that
there are 4 permissible things to put in beer...  Water, Hops, Barley,
Yeast.  In 1896(?) the law was ammended to allow wheat (for Weissbier).

I'll drink Bud or Miller, but I can taste a *big* difference between
them and Sammy's or even the stuff that I brew...

Schlep this wonks,
'Saw

    When you come down for Giantsmania, Frankwa, I'll get you a glass of
    water from the wetlands surrounding the Staduim. I'll bet you can't
    taste the difference between that glass of pond scum and Sam Adams.
    
    JoJ

JoJ --

Fine, if you think it will help.  You really should start brewing
your own, since it will enhance your tasting ability and open
up your palate.

Besides, the most fun about homebrewing is getting together with
other brewers for tastings (hint, hint).


Chainsaw
Charter Member, Bloomfield Brew Crew

    The process for making Bud:
    
    	It seems there is this flat rock in the middle of a cow
    	pasture in Missouri.........
    
    Claybone

    	If I was going to compare the Jets to a beer it would probably
    be RED WHITE & BLUE or maybe PABST BLUE RIBBON.
    
    				/Don

    Jests are to football what Near Beer is to beer!

    The only real beer is made here in teh northwest, at any of the
    myriad of microbrewery.  Pyramid, Red Hook, Thomas Kemper, Bridgeport
    Blue Heron Ale, etc., put those yuppie beers like Sammy Adams to
    shame.  As for Bud, Miller and the other piss, Ranier Brewery out
    pisses them all!!! 
    
    JD

    JD, I hafta concur with you on the NW (breweries)*10E-6.
    
    Portland has skads of 'em and they all blow off anything sold back
    east.
    
    Mark.
    
    BTW, I'll be in Portland OR the week of 6/18.  How far is it to
    Seattle?
    
    

>>    BTW, I'll be in Portland OR the week of 6/18.  How far is it to
>>    Seattle?

It's about a 2� hour drive, minimum.

I'll be in Calgary next Monday through Thursday.  How long a drive is it to
Portland :-).

j.

       I'll be in Worcestrer tonight, anyone know how long a drive it would
    be to Portland?
                                        Denny

    hey Slasher, how long a drive is it from the Mill to the Sittin' Bull?
    
    :-)
    
    H�wk
    

    
    How far is it from East Overshoe, MA to Bumfuq, Egypt?
    

    
    Bud also uses rice.
    
    Never drink another Miller Genuine Draft again! The first, and last
    time, I drank that trub, I never felt so bad the next day in my life.
    
    
    Jets:
    
    I see where they signed Freeman McNeil to a series of 3 one year
    contracts. Anyone wanna bet they don't get a total of one year out of
    him?
    
                                                   HOOT
    

Hoot --

I've heard that the new brew miller is coming out with (barley malt)
is supposedly brewed German pure.  I'll have to give it a try...

'Saw

    
    Haven't heard of that one, 'Saw. Colorado Springs is a big test market
    for anything and everything so we will probably get it or maybe already
    have and I just don't know about it. It's kinda funny watching a ball
    game and then seeing a national ad like THE NEW MILLER GENUINE DRAFT...
    when it has been here for a year or so. Since I have been making
    homebrew for a couple of years now, I'm losing my taste for the
    commercial stuff. But in an emergency I will choke it down.
    
                                                   HOOT
    

I knew there was something I like about you, Homebrew HOOT.... 8^)

I'm really into my own beer also, but I do keep some imports
around (McEwans' Scotch Ale, Newcastle Brown) etc for variety...

I think the new miller is called Reserve, or something like that...

'Saw

    
    OK, I've seen that. 
    
    Newcastle Brown. Ah yes, great brew. Those 18 oz. (or so) bottles work
    great to bottle in also.
    
    You oughta check out the HOMEBREW notes file when you have time.
    There's allot of good info in there.
    
                                                   HOOT
    

    Ummm, I love those Newcastles too.  Tasty and smooth.  Current
    favorite.  Had a Bud Dry about a month ago. Tasted like nothing.  I
    mean absolutely nothing.  No beer no water.  Air is richer flavored.
    
    Jets will use Freeman in spots.  He's still one of the great pure
    runners around.  When you've got Blair, Freeman is a luxury that any
    team would want.
    
    Dan

    Dan, if the Jets stormed the stands and massacred thousands of women
    and children, you'd still find a chance to praise them.
    
    Mark.

    >>Dan, if the Jets stormed the stands and massacred thousands of women
    >>and children, you'd still find a chance to praise them.
    
    >>Mark.
    
    
    Yeh Lufey, they'd be doing their share to curb the population
    explosion.

   	I think it was pretty nice of us to allow a Jets note in this
   Conference to begin with. But it'd  be best of we tried to keep off
   the subject of the Jets as much as possible. Their only real claim to
   fame was Joe Walton's mining operations,  and with him gone, things are
   looking pretty bleak.

   Newcastle beer and Whitecastle hamburgers.
   Mike JN

    I'll second the comments on the Newcastle Brown Ale.  I know of a
    little country bar about 10 miles from my sister's place in Bumfuq
    N. Y. that has it on tap.   Heaven on earth!
    
    JaKe
    

One of the contract writers I worked with in france turned me
on to Newcastle Brown.  

He's from Sunderland, which is about 10 miles from Newcastle.  I believe
folks from that area are called "Jordies" or something like that.
Anyway, he brought me back a "Newcy Broon" from one of his trips home,
and I was pleased to find it in the packy when I got back.  Not a
bad brew at all.

What does this have to do with the Jets?  Nothing, except that I
managed to convince him never to root for them 8^)

'Saw

    >Look for it in the mail in the not too distant future. I'm sure it will
    >have an excellent writeup on Blair "RotY" Thomas.
    
    >JoJ
    
	Sorry Wardle, but Blair won't make it to ROTY.  Look for Junior
    	Seau to take that honor.  Blair will go down in week 6 with more
    	knee problems.
    
    Oh yea! One more thing....mail your home address to me.  I can't start
    off the new year without paying you your six of Stout.  It'll be comin'
    in the mail...well protected, of course.
    
    Glenn

    RODNEY HAMPTON  rookie of yr.. ya heard it here first!
    
    dinz
    

    If the Jest's charged the stands they'd get crushed. Just like they
    do on the field :-)
    
    			Raider_Rich
    

    Hey, Lufay, you gotta admit that Dan is 100% correct regarding his
    comments on McNeil. When healthy, he's one of the best in the game.
    
    re: Glenn...
    
    yeah, right...I'll put my address in this conference. If I do that,
    people will start mailing me Phoenix Suns banners and stuff like that.
    
    Save the Stout. I'll collect when I come to CXO for training or
    something. In the meantime, I can call  you Dinz_West....
    
    JoJ

    < Note 227.74 by PARVAX::WARDLE "Counting the cars on the NJ Tpk..." >


>    Hey, Lufay, you gotta admit that Dan is 100% correct regarding his
>    comments on McNeil. When healthy, he's one of the best in the game.

    'Vane, I don't have to admit anything except that Dan is a weenie
    and that you lick his boots.
    
    Mark.

    re: LUfay (or is it Luufa)
    
    You do have to admit it. So, go ahead, admit that Dan was correct.
    Well,  you don't have to actually admit it, because you know that I
    know that you know that I know that you really do know that Dan is
    correct.
    
    JoJ
    

    'Vane, you made more sense when you didn't know what you were talking
    about.  
    
    (Which is usually the case).
    
    Hope this hurts.
    
    Mark.

    "Kenny O is bending way too low"
    "Kenny O is bending way too low"
    "He's not real big, and he's so slow"
    "But YO, he's bending way too low"
    "We all just love to watch him sacked"
    "As his lineman pick him off his back"
    "He tosses that ball to the opposition's hands"
    "And sometimes he just tosses it into the stands"
    "He's one of the worst, y'all cain see"
    "Cuz he throws the ball for the long INT"
    
				/Don

    Wif apple-logies to ACDC
    
    to the tune of "You shook me all night long"
    
    
    They was a broke machine
    they always wore piss-green
    they played the worst damn football
    that i've, ever seen.
    
    They got some sissy guys
    and a coach so wise.
    when da qb is sacked 
    he just lays down and cries.
    
    Loo-zin more than their share
    only won but a pair 
    now they got Eason
    who shaves legs wif Nair.
    
    Now their "D" is break'in
    Their fans was shak'in
    the line is Ach'in
    and their wives are fak'in it
    
    And the Jests...
    Stunk up all year long...
    
                             

    
    
    
    JaKe
    

    BTW, I scanned in the latest issue of Jetsstream, the official NY JETS
    pre season publication.
    
    You need a workstation or vt1000 to read it. Anyone want a copy?
    
    I was gonna send it to the whole jets.dis, but not everyone will be
    able to put it on their tubes.
    
    JoJ

    Yes, definitely.  The Jets Journal folded up their shop.  They offered
    me copies of (YUCK!) The Giants Weekly to fill up my subscription.  I
    told them to stick.  Just send me more bumper stickers...
    
    Dan

    How much playing time is Reggie Rembert (WR from West Virginia)
    expected to see this year?  Any chance he'll start?  
    
    
    py

    He could definitely start.  Toon is set at one wide out.  The other is
    wide open.  Wesley Walker is gone.  Jojo Townsell is better in
    situations and concentrating on returns.  The guy they got from Buffalo
    (???) and Philip Epps are both retreads, and one or both will not be on
    the roster next year.
    
    Rembert was considered by scouts to be in the top 2 of receivers in the
    draft, rated #1 by many.  It was very fortunate for the Jets that they
    got him in round 2.  His drawback is the offense he knows from WVU is
    less than ideal for coming to the pros, but his physical talent is top
    NFL caliber.
    
    Dan

>   Rembert was considered by scouts to be in the top 2 of receivers in the
>    draft, rated #1 by many.  It was very fortunate for the Jets that they
>    got him in round 2.  His drawback is the offense he knows from WVU is
>    less than ideal for coming to the pros, but his physical talent is top
>    NFL caliber.
    
How do the Jests manage to draft the perfect personnel at the perfect time every
time? The front office of the Jests is a model that all other front offices 
should try and live up to...


:-) :-) :-)

Metz

    who is going to be foolish enough to admit they have a workstation now!

    	I have a workstation!  Please send it to me JoJ.  I could use
    a good laugh.  Nobody answered your query about the alcohol ban,
    so's I will.  Seems that the Medowlands does not sell any liquor
    at night games, or at least it was in effect last year.  So this
    year's Giantsmania is BYOB.
    
    				/Don

Ditto what Don said on both accounts. I don't have a workstation but I
have access to one....

mike

They also don't open up the parking lot at noon anymore. 3:00 the gates open.
looks like we'll have to beat your's Bucky's butts more than once to pass the
time...

;^)

mike

    I've got one... so you can send it to me. 

JoJ, 

Send it... I've got access to one, and my VT1000 is on order.

I cannot wait, am sitting here with baited breath, ants in my pants,
got a good loinal fire(tm) going, and like Dirty Harry's bankrobber,
I gots to know what's in that newsletter...

Scorps Rule!

'Saw

    I'll post them here...it'll be easier. Then you can all access it.
    
    re: CRBOSS::DERRY
    
    Sorry to leave you out, I just added you to the list.
    
    JoJ

JoJ --

It's nice to see you're back to your old self.  You were getting
quite cranky and contrary there for a while.

In fact, I thought you might have been suffering from PJS.
PJS stands for Pre JetsSeason Syndrome, and afflicts fans of
New Yorks' "other" team.  The symptoms are crankiness and
contrariness, and the cause is the internalized conflict between
the high hopes of Jets fans and the realism of yet another losing,
hapless season drawing nigh.

Glad to see you're okay.

Dr. Saw

    On second thought, JETSTREAM will be coming at you through mail
    shortly.
    
    JoJ
    
    PS - Frankwa, I don't suffer from PJS. I do suffer from the boring crow
    notes, and the stupid CONGRATS to people that don't read the notes.
    
    

       I'll take one Jo*!!
                                     Denny

    Notes .96 and .97 were set hidden because, as a moderator, I felt that
    they had no value what_so_ever.
    
    JoJ

    Hey JoJ, I don't think you can mail scanned images (i.e., bitmaps?). 
    The messages you sent out this morning were all empty.
    
    Mike

>>    Hey JoJ, I don't think you can mail scanned images (i.e., bitmaps?). 
>>    The messages you sent out this morning were all empty.

Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.  Do a DIR/FULL in mail and see if the Attributes
field says "Foreign".  If so, get out of VMS mail and try using DECwindows
mail or at least something which understands DDIF format.

j.

I'll take a copy.  I could use a good laugh...

Mike

>
>    Notes .96 and .97 were set hidden because, as a moderator, I felt that
>    they had no value what_so_ever.
>    
>    JoJ


Fascism at its best.  That's the way it started in the early 30's
you know where, when the house painter got his own way.

I'll be you're one of those dudes who wants to amend the Bill of 
Rights so you can't burn the flag too, eh?????

Not in My America Bucko!!!!

8^)

'Saw

PS  Probably had more value than the Jest news letters...

    too late, I gave them the big D command!

>>I'll be you're one of those dudes who wants to amend the Bill of 
>>Rights so you can't burn the flag too, eh?????
  
    The amendment will never make it.
    
    I hear there is a bill being proposed that would require all American
    flags to be made out of non-flammable material. :-) :-)
    
    Then what would protesters do, have their dog crap on the flag in
    protest????
    
    hples isth hopse
    
    JaKe
    

    re: Mike Heiser
    
    hahahahahahahahahah to you. 
    
    re: Frank "the_sweating_radical" Way
    
    I feel perfectly justified in setting hidden those notes. AFter all, 
    I do have moderator privs. I have to flex my muscles sometimes just so
    you know I'm still around. And, to let YOU know that I'm keeping an eye
    on the likes of you FTSR_Way. 
    
    JoJ

re Jake:

	I hope it doesn't.  The Bill of Rights is more important
	than preventing some a__hole from burning the flag.  The
	Bill of Rights is truly the cornerstone of our society.

	I've *got* to get a letter off to my Congressional
	representatives.....

re JoJ --

	Well, if it makes you feel good, then do it.  I may 
	sweat, and I may be a radical, but I feel good about
	myself.  And I feel good 'bout 'merica.

	So, all I can say is Congrats....

'Saw

	>Well, if it makes you feel good, then do it.  I may 
	>sweat, and I may be a radical, but I feel good about
	>myself.  And I feel good 'bout 'merica.
    
    There's nowhere better to feel patriotic than in the Jets note.  Good
    choice Frank.
    
    Dan

>>  <<< Note 227.108 by WNDMLL::SCHNEIDER "Takes 2 jerks 2 make 1 MVanilli." >>>
>>                   -< Now if we could just shit-can the NRA >-
                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Dan, I'll second that.
    
    I mean really, an organization that fights for the right to use armor
    piercing bullets to hunt, come on, when was the last time you saw a
    freakin' deer driving a sherman tank???  When was the last time you saw
    a bear wearing a bullet proof vest.  Who, in their right minds hunts
    wif an AK47. 
    
    JaKe
    
    
    
    

       An AK47 is less powerful than most hunting rifles.
                                        Denny

    Waddle, if you got so much muscle as moderator, you must have punched
    yourself in the nose.  .96 says it's "set hidden", but it isn't.
    
    Congrats.
    
    By the way, I'm sure that, in fairness to all, you'll be the first
    moderator to no longer enter any useless notes and replies, right?
    
    Suuuurrrreeeee.
    
    Lee

>    Waddle, if you got so much muscle as moderator, you must have punched
>    yourself in the nose.  .96 says it's "set hidden", but it isn't.
    
    Lee, it's hidden to all but you(the author) and those who are exercising
their moderator privs at the time....

	Jim M

    Thanks, Jim.  Not being a technoweenie, I was unaware of that function.
    
   Lee

>>       An AK47 is less powerful than most hunting rifles.
                                        Denny
    
    
    I agree, but it puts out the bullets in rapid succession, turning
    your kill into ground meat automatically.
    
    
    JaKe
    

I'm no expert but I agree that an AK47 is less powerful than
most hunting rifles.  It's not less deadly, though...

What makes an AK47 such a good weapon is its simplicity, in that 
it was designed I believe to be the type of weapon which can
be doled out to a bunch of people with little or no weapons 
experience, and in a short amount of time, have the be able to 
use it.

It's roughly a 30 caliber weapon.

The M16 on the other hand, is a 22 caliber weapon with a higher
cyclic rate of fire.  Other than that I don't know much about
it.

I prefer knives, because I like to look someone square in the
eye when I kill them....

HTH,
Chainsaw

    They taught a bunch of stuff about the M16A2  when I was in boot camp.
    I suppose the only thing I remember is how to kill somefin 500 meters
    away. 
    

    Gotta get me one of them AK47's for those trips into Boston.....
    
    wheel

Nah...

Get yerself an M60.  See, the ammo belts are the latest in sexy
looks for downtown.  The weapon itself is a tad heavy, but with
practice you can lay down a pretty good field of fire.  It's
also a 30 caliber weapon...

Actually, what would be even neater would be an Uzi, with subsonic
ammo.  Doesn't make a whole helluva lotta noise when you fire it.
And, the Israelis did design the Uzi for close-in street fighting...

HTH,
Chainsaw


PS  Debil Dog -- you are too much man...  (Don't you remember
    this little thang:

		This is my rifle, this is my gun
	 	This one's for fightin, this one's for fun...


   Semper Fi man...

    
    Those Uzis are great on beach balls, too, and saves a lot of wear
    on the teeth.
    
    Dickster
    

    The only way to hit anything with a M16 at 500 meters is to aim it at
    a 45 degree angle above the target.  The furthest targets at camp were
    350 meters (good old fort dix, where are you now?) and you had to aim
    over the targets head and hope for no cross wind in order to hit it.
    The M14 has a much longer range.  I had one painfull experience with
    the made by Mattel M16.  If you shoot left handed the brass ejects
    across your field of vision.  Some eject slightly to the front, some
    straight out and some slightly to the rear.  Put a lefty behind a rear
    ejecting M16 and he has an excellent chance of getting a piece of hot
    brass ejected into his right cheekbone.  I had a piece of brass bounce
    off the post I was leaning against, bounce up in the air, and land
    between the skin of my back and 4 layers of clothing.  What a burn.
    How did all this gun talk get into the jets topic?  If you really want
    to prove your point walk around with a 20mm machine cannon.  The jets 
    and the pats should only play each other this year.  At least then one
    of them could at least get to .500
    

    yo chainsaw, 
    
    yeh I said that a time or two. And even the "This is my rifle..."
    shpeel. They only weigh 7� lbs. but when held at arms length in front
    of your body they do get real heavy. 
    
    re Dickster
    
    Uzi's are great toys!

    LeE...you feel better now that you abused me and you were WRONG!
    
    Geez, first Heiser acuses me of sending him empty files and now you
    accuse me of not knowing how to use the "set hidden" feature.
    
    C'mon guys, if you're gonna bust my filberts, make sure you're correct
    first.
    
    JoJ

    Oh yeah, one more thing...
    
    This gun discussion is totally off the topic. Unless the rumors are
    true. I heard that the Giants contracted some of the NRA members to
    shoot the Jets receivers from the stands so that the Giants don't get
    beat by  40 points.
    
    JoJ

    >The only way to hit anything with a M16 at 500 meters is to aim it at
    >a 45 degree angle above the target.
    
    
    M16 maybe, with an M16A2 500 meters is not out of range. In boot camp
    we shot from the 200, 300, and 500 meter lines for qualification.
    Granted at 500 meters we shot at the "body" targets but we still hit
    'em.
    
    The Jests sip  and waddle is a bum. ( just to stay on topic)

JoJ --

Your rumor is true.  In fact, I volunteered.  hahhahahahahha....


re M16 vs M14:
	
That's the second time I've heard that.  

re shooting left handed:

I'm a lefty, but I think I shoot right handed...


Re the Jets:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (tm)

    Waddle, yeah, I feel better even tho I was wrong.  Course, not ever
    being an almighty moderator, I had no way of knowing that I could
    still see my reply.  
    
    Actually, it's no fun beating on you.  Kinda like hitting a sponge,
    and I have to wait in line to do it!
    
    :*)
    
    Lee

>I prefer knives, because I like to look someone square in the
>eye when I kill them....

So... like, how many people have you killed?

    	I'll tell ya Karen, the 'Saw kills me everytime he says the
    Whalers are a good team!
    
    				/Don

    /Don, he must be in heaven...  Sportschannel started rerunning the
    Whaler wins from last season.  Hey, 'Saw.  You'll have something to
    look forward to next year, if you tape these games now.
    
    BTW- What happened to .128 and .129???

    ya know the whalers are a good team when they get into the jests
    note.. those broon fans will be hurting next myr when the whalers
    
    win that  adams division title..
    
    gowhale
    

    	Hey Dins, are Montreal, Boston and Buffalo moving out of the
    division?
    
    				/Don

    Well if you're gonna take Montre�l, Boston and Buffalo out, you 
    might as well take out Quebec, because that is the only way
    the Whalers are gonna take the Adams.  8^)
    
    

    Can I have the Jetsstream picture?  Please, please?
    
    

JoJ I'll take a copy as well....


Send it either to OURGNG or BSS...

Jeff

    \OK, I'll try to get both  Walt and Jeff the Jetstream files....
    
    I knew you guys were Jets fans...I just knew it.
    
    JoJ

    Me too!  Me too!
    
    Mike

    Well, what did you guys think of the latest newsletter?  Not
    bad.....not bad at all!
    
    Jests (tm) still sip.........
    
    Claybone

Well have ya heard the news
It's all over town
If you can't take it boys ya better sit down
Grab ahold a something
hold on tight...
cuz the Jests picked a flop last night...

I heard 'em talking down on Madison Ave
That Rob Moore is comin to town
That's the news, baby, hot off the press
Better go on out and get another dress
Cause the Jests are ready, ready to drop
Cuz the Jests just picked another flop

THE JESTS PICKED A FLOP LAST NIGHT
THE JESTS PICKED A FLOP LAST NIGHT
He was sad cuz Wesley is so bad
And Robbie Moore is just more agit-prop
Now the Jests are gettin ready to drop
Cuz the Jests just picked another flop

da da da da da da da ANOTHER FLOP
da da da da da da da da da JUST AGIT-PROP
da da da da da da da da da FOR THE JESTS CROP
da da da da da da da da da JUST AGIT-PROP

AHHHHH....HAHAHAHAHAHA(tm)...whaddya think about that girls!!!!!!

THE JESTS PICKED A FLOP LAST NIGHT
THE JESTS PICKED A FLOP LAST NIGHT
He was sad cuz Wesley is so bad
And Robbie Moore is just more agit-prop
Now the Jests are gettin ready to drop
Cuz the Jests just picked another flop

    Claybone, who tm'ed the *Jests*?  I know I've been using it for a
    few years, but I don't know who started it.
    
    Lee

Clearly, /Don is the ULTIMATE Carnac/BobSeeger of SPORTS.


(Gee, might even get that tattooed on my arm)

'Saw

    Still have not received a newsletter 
    Iam sad,sad,sad
    
    
    A JETS FAN FORever
    
    
    John

    lEe,
    
    	Check out the trademark note.  If it's not tm'd in there,
    	it's yours!
    
    Claybone

>                    <<< Note 227.144 by TRACTR::KOLADISH >>>
>                              -< NO NEWS LETTER >-
>    Still have not received a newsletter 
>    Iam sad,sad,sad
>    A JETS FAN FORever
    
    Hey JoJ, out of the goodness of my heart, I'd like to donate my
    subscription to this Faithful Jets Fan.  Kudos John, I hope you enjoy
    my copy!
    
    Mike
    

I'm down, I been lied to,
I let that mean JoJ make me a fool.
He said that he wouldn't, put me on the list,
and he's with some of my good time buddies, 
laughing cause he knows i'm pissed...

Sometimes I feel, Sometimes I fell, 
like i been tied to his mailing list,
tied to his mailing list, tied to his mailing list,
Oh Lord I feel like I'm dying....


It's sad, and it's really bad,
I'm sick of Tony Eason and Al Toon.
You'd think I could take it,
but there's just no way.
I gotta read about the Jests and I've got no say

Sometimes I feel, Sometimes I fell, 
like i been tied to his mailing list,
tied to his mailing list, tied to his mailing list,
Oh Lord I feel like I'm dying....

    No need to apologize to Gregg and Duane. First of all, they don't read
    notes so it's as bad as saying CONGRATS. Secondly, I'm sure they'd be 
    honored to see their great song slightly modified to include JoJ and
    the Jets.
    
    re: Tracy
    
    I'll add your name right away. I coulda sworn I put you in.
    
    JoJ
    
    PS - I had to delete Caso from the Jets.dis. Does anybody have any
    way to get him a copy of my mailings. He really loved them.

    
    Obviously, Mike is a much more intelligent fan than most. He clearly
    recognizes the greatness of other QB's, especially compared to Simms.
    
    This was posted by Mike in our FFL note.....
    
    
    
================================================================================
Note 10.17                  OFFICIAL FFL BANTER NOTE                    17 of 24
CNTROL::CHILDS "King of the Swingers:the Jungle VIP" 17 lines  16-JUL-1990 15:52
                          -< banter note heating up? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha Jeff no Philpee (love it) doesn't deserve a first round selection, if
he goes before the third round I'd be shocked. Just have to get on JoJ's
case cause he tried like all hell last year to convince me that Simms was
a great QB. Simms is a great athlete playing the QB posistion and that's
it....

    FWIW, I've been praying since the Giants superbowl year that they would get
    rid of him. At that time I wanted them to trade him and LT for O'Brien .
    Even though Kenny O is worth much more, I think the Giants should have
    tried to make the deal.

****** Hell I'd rather have OBrien QBing the Giants then Simms.......

mike

haha Josh a little bit of creative editing there huh? Fo the record folks
this is how it appeared    
    
    
================================================================================
Note 10.17                  OFFICIAL FFL BANTER NOTE                    17 of 24
CNTROL::CHILDS "King of the Swingers:the Jungle VIP" 17 lines  16-JUL-1990 15:52
                          -< banter note heating up? >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha Jeff no Philpee (love it) doesn't deserve a first round selection, if
he goes before the third round I'd be shocked. Just have to get on JoJ's
case cause he tried like all hell last year to convince me that Elway was
a great QB. Elway is a great athlete playing the QB posistion and that's
it....

    FWIW, I've been praying since the Giants superbowl year that they would get
    rid of him. At that time I wanted them to trade him for the first pick
    in the draft and take Testerverdi.

****** Hell I'd rather have OBrien QBing the Giants then Simms.......

mike

    HEY ANY NEWS ABOUT THE JETS.
    
    	Thanks john

    Jets announced WR Chris Burkett left camp and they waived WR James
    Moore.
    
    
    

    JETS WIN JETS WIN JETS WIN JETS WIN JETS WIN JETS WIN JETS WIN JETS WIN
    
    Coslet is having a definite positive impact on the Jets. 
    
    They will most likely win the East this year.
    
    JoJ

    How does one get REMOVED from that weekly JETS mailing list?
    
    -- JB

    THE SAME WAY YOU GET ON      NEVER 
    
    TRACTR::KOLADISH
    
    
    JOHN

    Once I again, I will allow John to take my place!
    
    Mike

    There's no other way to say this.  The Jets have been damned good so
    far.  They've given up only 6 points in posting two wins over the
    Eagles and the Chiefs.  There offense hasn't been great, but then they
    played 4 QBs in each game (O'Brien, Eason, Taylor and Snyder) and
    they're missing their top 2 running backs (Blair Thomas and Johnny
    Hector).
    
    Most encouraging is the defense.  They've basically allowed one
    sustained drive in each game.  They bottled up a top-notch QB like
    Randall Cunningham nicely, and the DL racked up 6 sacks the other day
    against KC - okay the KC line looked pathetic, but that's how most
    teams register 6 sacks in a game.
    
    I'm not reserving hotel rooms for the Super Bowl yet, but it's
    certainly encouraging for a team that went 3-13 last year.
    
    Dan

    Yah, but Dan, this weekend the mighty Giants will fold, spindle,
    and mutilate the Jests.  No matter how many "I'm a little teapot..."
    renditions you do...
    
    JD

    Wait until the games count.  They're still separating the men from the
    boys.
    
    Mike

Here, Dan, take this napkin and clean up that mess.  You keep it
up, and you'll need glasses, and then next thing you know you'll
be doing the teapot dance, and you're glasses will fly offa your
haid and over the rail of the mezzanine and hit some old
folks on their haid....

Just tryin' to shlep,
'Saw

  Dan,

     The Cowboys cruised thru the preseason last year and look what happened
     during the season.  You better listen to 'Saw, you don't want to go
     blind and have hair growing on your palms, do you?

     When is Blair Thomas going to sign? When he signs Emmit Smith will sign.

  Chuck

    >Yah, but Dan, this weekend the mighty Giants will fold, spindle,
    >and mutilate the Jests.  No matter how many "I'm a little teapot..."
    >renditions you do...
    
    The mighty Giants... oh what will we ever do?  Limp Wrist Simms will
    throw the ball, maybe twice, to No Hands Turner or the (Ha-ha)
    Touchdown maker.  The defense is still on vacation.
    
    Giants are going down.  Even the refs and putting the starters in won't
    help 'em this year!
    
    Dan

    jets come back to earth, i guarentee  a hampton  hoochie choohie
    
    
    rundown over the overated jests..
    
    rodney runs rampant.. film a t 11
    

Jeez, Dan, you musta got some of that stuff in yer eye...  Either
that or you're going blind already 8^)

    The Jets will dominate the wimpy wimpy wimpy Giants at the Mania.
    
    Girly Mon Simms throws 8 grounders and 4 interceptions giving him the
    highest INT/GROUNDER ratio in the league, just squeeking by Smellway.
    
    Toon will score at least two TD's.
    
    JoJ

    
>    Girly Mon Simms throws 8 grounders and 4 interceptions giving him the
>    highest INT/GROUNDER ratio in the league, just squeeking by Smellway.
    
 
	I hope so. If this occurs then Parcells we have no other choice
 but to start the season with Hostetler, who's time has come. He's looked
 super in preseason and did the job last year when called upon. His mobility
 alone puts him ahead of Phil in my books....

 mike

But during the second quarter, we hang Jim "Girly Mon" Wardle off the
mezzanine by his ankles to attract the TV cameras attention.

This has repercussive effects across the country!  A viewer in Binghamton
NY mistakes /Don for someone he'd seen on America's Most Wanted, and
dials 1-800-CRIME-90.

The producer of Hard Copy sees Bucky, and figures he's the long lost
adopted nephew of Curly of the Three Stooges and sends a news team
out to find out more.

Lou Gorman, mistaking Dan Schneider for a supposedly recuperating Reardon,
calls out the NJ State Police to pick him up, and then cancels Reardon's
major medical, figuring that if Reardon can do the Teapot Dance, he
can pitch.

Oprah "Which is bigger, the moon or my butt(tm)�" Winfrey decides to
do a story on MANIS(tm)Mail Bonding the next afternoon.

Three ex-wives, three ex-girlfriend, and one ex-homosexual lover think
they see their ex-es, and hire a mob hit squad to off the entire group
after the game....

Phil Rizzuto bets the Money Store fortune on the REd Sox after seeing
Dinz, sporting an orange wig for the occasion, yelling that the
Yankees will miraculously win the pennant....

    Hey Stevie_boy,
    
    Look for that banner, me and the Buck are gonna put the banner up.
    
    Oh, Bucky says he still owes you one for the mail stripper routine.
    Maybe we'll get your name on the banner too.
    
    re: Frankwa
    
    Bucky says he doesn't look like Curly, but rather, he looks like Tony
    Franklin.
    
    
    JoJ

   I will be watching!

   Giants will win!

   All OURGNG noters in attendance:

   	Please do some insane things so the cameras turn your way.

   Mike JN

    
    Was anyone else's Jests newsletter not delivered?  I'll bet that mangy
    mutt nexted dorr stole mine again...
    
    Bruce

    Bruce, you must be mistaken...there was no newsletter this week...8^)

    Marty Lyons was place on the IR
    
    Any word on Thomas and Rembert signing ?
    
    John

    Blair Thomas signed last week.
    
    	--dan'l

    Reggie Rembert has not yet signed and was traded to the Bengals for LB
    Joe Kelly and OL Scott Jones last night.
    
    John

    >                   -< It amy be all over for Lyons >-
    
    That's right.  In fact, even without the injury (torn bicep), it may
    have been.  He was struggling and was involved in the numbers game. 
    Sorry to say it, but it's probably for the best.  I'd like the Jets to
    give Lyons a job in the organization (such as line coach, which he
    already was informally).
    
    Players they got for Reggie Rembert:
    
    Joe Kelly, starting RILB for Cinci.  Very talented, quick, finesse
    type.  Not big or too string.  Good tackler and excellent pursuit. 
    4-yr. starter may be moved outside where it's more suited to his
    talents.
    
    Scott Jones, backup offensive tackle in Cinci.  Converted TE.  "Still
    developing." 2nd year player, 6'5' 278.  Jets line needs help.  May get
    a chance to start, but if he's anything will get PT regardless.
    
    Also, most importantly for the OL, the Jets reached agreement with Jim
    Sweeney, their only above-average talentwise lineman.  He's a very
    underrated center, and can play all around on the line.  One of the
    best in the league.
    
    Dan

    Jets are off and flying
    
    John

    Seems to me that Bafalo is stomping the Jests a$$es tonite.
    thurmond Thomas out for a Monday Night Jog thru the Defense?????????
    
    Although the Jests have at least been able to score a touchdown or so
    so far this season, unlike the Steelers who are suffering from the
    Walton Boogered up game plan syndrom.   I plead with the Jest
    management to please take this A$$hole back and let the Steelers get on
    with their season by hiring a real offensive Co-ordinator.
    
    JaKe
    

    Did Wardle take a buy-out package or something?  I can't believe
    he's missing.  Bad modem?  :*)
    
    Lee

 Nope Lee, he's around but at the present moment he's learning to be a Dad.
 Jim and his wife had a 7'14" 20 inch boy yesterday. Jeffrey James Wardle.
 Dad reports that mom is doing fine and that his sone has long fingers and
 he hopes he's the next Catfish Hunter and savior of the Yankees... ;^)

 of course this calls for a round of congrats  Parvax::Wardle...  ;^)

 mike

       7 feet 14 inches....WOW!!!
                                    Denny

    
    Must've been born Sept 23rd, 24th, and 25th.
    
    Dickster
    

	Congrats to Mr & Mrs JOJ on the birth of their new son JJOJ (tm?)

	Condolences to Jeffery James, however. I fear the poor boy faces the
misfortune of being raised a Jets fan.... 'tis sad really :-)

JimH

    Sounds more like JJ Walker (Jeffrey James Wardle?) to me......  :-)
    
    Hawk

>>>Sounds more like JJ Walker

	You mean Jerry Jeff??? As in "LDUCing in the wind..."???

JimH
 

    Ha ha, but no, I meant JJ on "Good Times"......  :-)
    
    I should've said "Jimmy" Walker.....
    
    HHAAWWKK

   If he has any sense,and Jim doesn't brainwash him... it'll be:

   JoB

   Jeff on Broncs!

   PUMPKINS ROOL!!!!!!
   Mike JN

    
    Congrats to the Wardles! I heard Jim bought the little tyke a bunting
    with a logo of every front running team in Professional sports! 
    
    Jets D did a dissapearing act last night. /Don could have gained 
    100 yards with some of those holes the Bills were blowing open!
    
    
    
    Steve 8^)

    Steve, I is rooollllliiinnngggggg!!!!
    
    
    With a 7' 14" baby I bet the doctor slapped Jim.

    And I bet his wife won't ever let him near her again!  :-)
    
    Hawk

    	...and I bet the umbillical cord was as long as a fire hose,
    eh Dinz?  8^)
    
    				/Don

    
    Did somebody say it was a baby boy or a baby boa?
    
    Dickster
    

    Kudos Jim!
    
    Oh NO!  Another Jets fan! 

    re: bunting outfit for all the front-running teams.....
    
    I think that JoJ's more resourceful than to be constantly changing
    outfits on the little eason(tm) :-).  I bet he's got velcro-backed
    patches of each and every major league team in every sport, including
    Harvard and Yale Crew!  :-)
    
    Hawk  

    
    No, the tyke has a complete set of NFL diapers, so he can change crappy
    teams just like his dad.
    
    Dickster
    

    What else is there to say -- congrats!
    
    
    py

way to go JOJ, .....everybody else said it so much better, though.


	Ed^2

    
    	Congrats JoJ!      
    
    						 glen j.

    Not to change the subject, but what is the deal with Toon this year?
    Is he going to amount to anything this weekend against San Diego,
    if not now, when could he have a better chance.
    
    Scott

    Toon has been hampered by an injured lower back.  I imagine he's still
    feeling some effects, but he'll be playing this weekend against S.D. 
    WHen right, he's the best WR in the AFC.
    
    Dan