Conference 7.286::sports_90

Given ma druthers, I'd love to play 

	- Hockey (goalie)
	- Soccer
	- Grand Prix MC Racing
	- NASCAR
	- Golf

pretty much in that order.  To me, one of the hardest things to do
in sport is make an accurate chip shot to within x distance of
the cup, and to make a long birdie putt....

'Saw

    I wrestled the last 4-5 years of school and dabbled in pole vaulting,
    but since my weight class wasn't heavy-weight there was no chance of
    wrasslin' as a pro (if you even consider that a sport).
    
    Back then, in Oklahoma, soccer teams were unheard of but in grade
    school everyone played "kick ball".  Our gym teacher was inspired
    by how we enjoyed our brand of soccer that she taught us the rules
    and organized a real game.  Everyone was assigned a position to play
    and all during the game nobody would move from that spot on the field.
    We were all lined up in formation and stayed that way until the end
    of the game.  (It probably looked like a marching band practice).  
    Unless the ball came right up to a player nobody went to the ball.
     
    Although the "real" game was a failure I never forgot how great it
    was to play "kick ball".  When the NASL teams were around, Tulsa was
    lucky enough to get "The Roughnecks".  I got field passes occasionally
    and took photographs of some of the games.  On our wedding night Mrs.
    Cowboy and I watched Tulsa beat The Cosmos--its hard to forget that
    night.
    
    After a few years I played on adult teams and, like many athletical 
    has-beens, felt like I could have had a chance to play professionally
    if there had been sponsored leagues when we were kids.
    
    Cowboy
      

I gotta agree with Mike on the Golf bit. Not real hectic great Vacation resorts 
to visit. Only work in good weather. Have time for Family or a visit to each
cities best resturants and Golden Banana type establishments.


- Grand Prix MC Racing
Saw is this Motocross ?  Tonight on ESPN following the Late SportsCenter is 
the second leg of the Supercross series. 

Jeff 

    	Stock Car racer.  I was born to be sponsored by Bud.

Baseball ...

Best overall paycheck to effort ratio, adoring fans, part of national 
mystique, endorsement bonanzas, and ...

Susan Sarandon loves to read Walt Whitman to you.

Bob Hunt

Without a doubt, Baseball.

Play all summer long, spend March in Florida, all winter off
to go to Australia, can afford almost anything.

And those are just the logistics.  The thrill of the grass...

Dan

Re MC racing:

	Nope.  It's, well, it's....

	Okay, you get a bunch of guys like Wayne Rainey, Eddie Lawson
	Freddie Spencer, Randy Mamola.

	Now, you get a bunch of crotchrockets, made by Yamaha, Suzuki,
	Honda, (Kawasaki is conspicuously absent).

	Put the men on these special, high speed (so high speed in
	fact that when you roll power on your eyeballs touch the 
	back of your haid), bikes, put the combination on a
	road racing course, and let them ride.

	When they come to a corner those bikes lean hard over as
	the riders lean off and drag a little knee...

	Gawd, I'm firm and squirmin' just thinking about it...

	There's three classes:  500cc (REAL crotchrockets)
                                250cc (little missles)
                                125cc (funny to watch, but a crash will
	                               mess up your day....)

That's grand prix mc racing....

'Saw

    
    You got the essence of our National Pastime down pat, Bob.
    
    Yes...the megabucks, the great national recognition (appearances
    on "Good Morning America" the day after the series)...the megabucks...
    the endorsements (remember the Reggie Candy Bar?)...the baseball
    groupies...the megabucks...you don't play when the weather is lousy,
    or when you don't feel like it (Lee Smith)...and besides, it is
    a great game to play, too.  Oh, and the money's good, too, if I
    haven't mentioned that. Imagine "Homerun Hamel" on a baseball card,
    this thirty-ish, forty-ish, slack-muscled guy who with his one
    eyes-closed swing in the 10th inning of the seventh game of the
    World Series has gained immortality by hitting a 315-foot homer
    off the foul pole.  Forget "YAZ Bread" , I'll be cleaning up on
    "Big Dick Bread" while sellin' autographs to kids who can't afford
    school lunch money.
    
    What a game! Is this a great country or what?
    
    -Dick
    

    Jeff, don't you have to be a woman for that?  Is there something you
    need to tell us? 

    Why baseball of course - I could grow old and get out of shape,
    and still play it, and folks would adore me.  I'd make zillions
    of bucks, not give a damn about the fans who adore me and are totally
    blind in their love for the game, grow older and more out of shape,
    maybe become a coach, manager, or announcer, talk about the good
    ol days, still be adored by everyone, and never have to worry about
    expending too much money.  Could also marry women with big buzoooms.
    
    JD

    re: marry women with big bazooms......
    
    JD, I thought you were a_Aquisitions man, not a Titles man, no?  :-)
    
    H�wk

    You are right Hawk, Have to maryy wmoen with big Iris_chacons!!
    
    JD

    
    	NASCAR
    	Moto-cross
    	Golf
    	Tennis
    
    B.A.

    Baseball
    Hockey
    Coed water sports
    
    Mark.

    I guess I'll be the first to pick the N.F.L. even though the average
    career I think is 3.5 years. But IMO it is the greatest sport there
    is. Then second would probably be golf. Thats not a bad way to make
    a living, you don't depend on anyone else jsut yourself. You get
    paid on how you perform, then maybe baseball, stub a toe take a
    couple weeks off, sprain an ankle and out for a month.
    
                                                         Dan

The hardest thing about being a NASCAR driver, I think, is 
remembering your sponsors.

NASCAR is the only kind of racing where I've never heard them 
refer to the car.  Like, in Formula I, when Nigel Mansell wins
a race he'll say:  "The car handled beautifully today, tight
enough in the corners, with good speed in the straight."

Now,  Dale Earnhardt, (or maybe even my main man Geoff Bodine) wins
a race.  Here's what they say:

	"Well, Chris, the BudLite-Valvoline-Purolator-BandAid-
	 ChockFullO'Nuts-Monroe-MrsFilbertsMargerine-Kodak Chevy 
	 Lumina ran really well today.  *Goodyear* tires made
	 the difference too, as did my pit crew of Billy Bob,
	 Ray Randy, Bobby Joe, Skeeter, and Gomer.....

Now, you also have to remember that Chevy is pronounce "Shivvy".

This is going to be tough for me to remember when I hit the NASCAR
circuit.  I mean, I thought all I had to do was Drive, Win, Kiss the Pretty
Girl, Drink Beer, Invite the Pretty Girl back to my Trailer for a Slam
Dunk Contest, Pick up my check....(but not necessarily in that order....)

'Saw

    First choice:
    
    Pro-Hoops.  If I were as good on a real court as I am at Nerf Hoop in
    my living room, I'd be better than Jordan!  To be on the receiving end
    of an ally-oop to seal the game in front of a frenzied home
    crowd...can't be nothin' better.  
    
    Second Choice:
    
    Laker Girl masseur.  Hmmmmmmmm.  Make that my first choice!
    
    	--dan'l

    Don't you have to take "drugs" to be a really good players in NFL ?
    
    Just wondering...
    
    Bruno
    ps:Tennis, Volley-ball and triathlon.

    I'd want to be a thoroughbred race horse....work for 3-4 years, then
    retire and go to stud for the rest of my life...yeah, I could live with
    that...
    
    
    py

    > I'd want to be a thoroughbred race horse....work for 3-4 years, then
    > retire and go to stud for the rest of my life...yeah, I could live with
    > that...
    
    > py
    
    Who wouldn't want to but that's not how it's done now.  Today's stud
    is a virgin--unless you call a mechanical lip'r the real thing.  The
    drawback is that this leads to chromium perversion
    
    Cowboy
    

Paul...

What a perfect idea.  All those fillies running around just waiting
for you to stud them.  All the oats you can eat.  Those nice
trainer girls rubbing you down and massaging and exercising you.

A nice big green Kentucky pasture to romp around in...

Yeah, that would be the life alright....


If I couldnt' play a sport I'd sure want to be a photographer at them....

'Saw

�    Who wouldn't want to but that's not how it's done now.  Today's stud
�    is a virgin--unless you call a mechanical lip'r the real thing.  The
�    drawback is that this leads to chromium perversion
    

Son:  Gee Daddy, what do you do at work all day.

Father: Well Son, I'm a_artificial inseminator.

Son:  What's that daddy?

Father:  Well.....


Glad I'm just a_engineer....8^)

'Saw    

�    $10 million/yr plus several more in endorsements).  This is strictly
�    thoretical mind you, but all the beautfiul women hanging about the
�    jet-set F1 scene doesn't detract, either.
    
I can handle the physical aspect, no problem.  I've been pulling 7-10
g's for years now... ;^)

But, please tell me more about the beautiful women.

Enquiring, horny, dirty minds need to know....
'Saw

	Speaking of horses and studding �.  I read a while back where
they actually have horses to, how shall we say, prepare the female horses
for the stud, i.e. make 'em horny.  Seems like the preparer gets the horse
all hot 'n bothered 'n rearin' to go, then ol' studly steps in and finishes
the job.  Horses sure must be stupid.  Imagine falling for the same thing
time and time again?  That preparer sure must take alot of cold showers!


				/Don

    
    A professional foreplayer...Hmmm, nice concept.
    
    -Dick
    

    
    And I guess the last horse in would be the long reliever.
                   
    

    re: .28
    
    It's a good thing for the preparer that horses *aren't* too bright.
    If they realized that the mare was just the fore-play and the preparer
    (with his sex aids) was who he *really* was in-love with then the stud
    would be trying to mount the preparer whenever he was around.  Kinda
    like a big horney dog jumpin on your leg.
    
    Hope This Helps the City-bound Noters
    
    Cowboy

re:  "It takes discipline, Dick"

	It also takes dick discipline.

re:  the preparer handing of to the stud..

	Tag Team Studding(tm), Sport, or a channel for moral filth?
	Find out on the next Geraldo!

    
    photographer for the sports illustrated swimsuit issue....
    
    mike

�    photographer for the sports illustrated swimsuit issue....
    
Nah, I did that once.  My lenses kept getting fogged up.... 8^)

'Saw

    	I dunno Mike.  After watching "The Making of The Sports Illustrated
    Swimsuit Issue".  A film I highly recommend by the way, I think
    I would like to be the guy who puts makeup on the model's uh...
    buttocks.  But you have to start at the bottom, and some people
    say it's a dead end job.
    
    				/Don

Yeah, and I'm sure you'd be the butt of all the jokes too!

�    photographer for the sports illustrated swimsuit issue....

	Yeah! And wouldn't it be great if the models brought BEER?!
		Keystone BEER?!
Mike JN

    do they get behind on their work?

Let's just hope they're not anal retentive...

    Waht about the guy who brushes the sand of their butts?  That's a
    tough one I bet...
    
    Coed tonsil hockey count?
    
    I guess if I had to, it would be baseball or tennis... except tennis
    I'd have to live up to the name...
    
    How much does pro v-ball pay?  I could deal with that...

    >How much does pro v-ball pay?  I could deal with that...
    
    Walt, as long as we're fantasizing, if you don't get paid enough on the
    pro tour, you can get a few million dollar promotional deals, like for
    Nike Volleyball shoes, and Head Volleyball wrist bands, etc.
    
    Dan

    spring training is great too.  sand volleyball on the beaches of
    southern california.
    
    Mike

Snooker player, of course:  fun, lots o' buckos, girls with big taataas, go
all over the world.

I've always been nuts about hockey and football, but would rather have teeth.

As for Car racing, I saw a Formula 1 car a couple of weeks ago, and I can tell
ya I wouldn't even drive one on the street let alone on a track.  Scared the
s*it out of me and it wasn't even fired up - just sitting there!!

rick 

    
    Pro Volleyball player.  The top few make $100-200K on the circuit,
    plus 2-3 times that on the side.  The scenery is as good as the
    SI swimsuit edition photagrapher, and much friendlier.
    
    2nd choice would be a baseball.  Anyone who has ever worked on a
    golf course knows better than to put down professional golfer.
    
    Bruce    
                                              

    There us an interesting division between those who would choose team
    sports and those who would "go-it-alone"  (e.g. Tennis, Golf, Racing,
    etc.).  I'm curious to know if this is a significant factor in
    choosing a preferred sport or whether it is secondary to money,
    location and women with large breasts!!!
    
    Personally, I would play soccer as a team sport and, if I were to rely
    on myself, there is no doubt.....DOWNHILL RACING!!!
    
    Puddle Jumper
    
    P.S.  With respect to SI's swimsuit issue...I'd rather be the swimsuit!!
    

    Individual or team sports is not a consideration for me at all.  I'll
    go wherever there are lovely American foxes with large American
    breasts!
    
    Ivan.

    I'd play Centerfield for the Dodgers, Free Safety for the Rams,
    Peephole operator for the Laker Girls dressing room, (Imagine the $$
    you can get from all the kids) or Right Wing on Argentina's World cup
    soccer team. Diego Maradona would dribble through everyone, shoot, hit
    the post and I'd put the rebound in. 
    
    
    I agree about the guy who puts makeup on the swimsuit models 'tho. 

       
         Golf.  In what other sport can you be out-of-shape, overweight 
    and still make a lot of money? :-)  Seriously, once I finally learned 
    how to hit the ball instead of the dirt, I found it a lot of fun.  If 
    only this crazy Colorado weather would cooperate. :-(  
    
         					 Glen J.