Conference 7.286::sports_90

    Charles,
    
    I saw the Wednesday edition of the National and wasn't that impressed.
    The newspaper costs the same as USA Today  and I can't really say that
    the National has much that you can't get from USA Today.
    
    In appearance,it looks like the Sporting News,tabloid, color on the
    front. One negative was that The National goes to press at 12:30 while USA 
    Today waits until 1:15 am,so you will miss many West Coast
    games,especially during baseball.
    
    The big advantages the National will have over USA Today is better
    columnists and more indepth coverage of its feature stories. If the
    first day was any indicator,the National is going full throttle after
    investigative stories.
    
    In sum,I guess what the National is selling more than anything else is
    top rated sportswriters,who from what I've heard are making BIG money.
    It also boasts of extremely deep pockets with a 100 million dollar
    budget and the backing of a large Mexican publisher.
    
    I hope it succeeds,but I just don't know. If given the choice between
    USA Today and The National,I'll take the former because you get a lot
    of other news,with an excellent sports section.
    
    Good luck Frank. It takes guts to do what you did.

�    the utter embarrassment of publicly buying a USA Today just to get
�    its sports page, while people in the store stare at you like you're
�    another of the BrainDeadZombies in this country with short attention
�    spans and slow reading speeds who relied on TV so much that they've
�    sunk to the point that when they need something in writing it has
�    to be in living color and in the form of boiled-down truncated simplisms.
                                                                  
That's why I stick to the National Enquirer, the Star, and the
Weekly World News....

Where else can you find out what's on Roseanne Barr's butt cheeks, 
if Oprah is really slipping on her diet, how to tell if you've been
abducted by aliens, that the Apollo 11 astronauts found a *human*
skeleton on the moon, and how to attract Bigfoot so you can have
his baby...

No BrainDeadZombie stuff for me, I'll tell ya (no flies on me either!)

Chainsaw

    'Saw, ever since Jo* started the National Enquirer note is ASABET
    lasted year, I've developed this habit of always, every week, checking
    out the front pages of those wonderful tabloids for all those juicy
    bits of information.  It amazes me that these wild stories just keep
    rolling of the presses.  It's also fun to guess which people actually
    will buy one of these things........
    
    Hawk

    H'awk,
    
    that was a funny note, wasn't that headline sumthang like:
    
    "Pint Sized Punks:  Pistol  Packing Pygmies terrorize...."
    
    Hahahahahaha(tm)
    
    I too check out the headlines, and if the line is long enough,
    I always check out the Weekly World News.  I start roooooling 
    right there.
    
    JD

When I was in Seattle the first time, and I was headed up to Rainier
with a friend, we stopped at a supermarket to get some soda.
I asked if the rest of the drive was a long one, and it was.

So I spent some dinero on the Weekly World News...What a scream.

It had this article with "guaranteed *unretouched* photos" of this
human skeleton found on the moon, with the tattered remains of Levis.
Evidently the Apollo XI astronauts found it.

Now, I'm not a professional photographer, but you didnt' need to be
to see how this photo had been retouched...hell the "sand" didn't
even match....

My favorite article was on how to tell if you'd been abducted by
aliens.... I wish I had it now to copy in here.  It was way funnier
than all of the sports jokes we've got.

Bottom line, we howled all the way to the mountain.  It beat having
HBO Comedy in the car.  

I cain't believe people believe that sh*t....

'Saw

USA Today, the paper for people who don't have enough time to watch
TV.


			-The Harvard Lampoon

Dan

    I'll admit. I've bought a couple of WWN's and cut out particulary
    good headlines, and posted it outside my office. It never fails
    to draw a crowd of disbelieving, roollwaard co-workers. 
    
    What blows my mind is that there is actually a true story or two
    in a given issue - just enough to make you wonder about the rest.
    
    For example, remember that convicted con-artist who wanted to run
    for mayor of Revere, MA. ? The one who said he was an astonaunt,
    cop, and Elvis' right-hand man ? :-) He was in there. A co-worker's
    girlfriend was married to the skeezer at one time, and she wanted
    to cut out the article and show it to her. I of course, was only
    too happy to oblige ... :-)
    
    Favorite headlines :
    
    - Tribe of Elvis Impersonators Found in Amazon Jungle
    - Astronomer Finds Hell On Distant Planet (Can Hear Screams Of Damned
    on Radio Telescope !)
    - Blind Chinese Boy Can Read With His Ears !
    
    Too funny ....

================================================================================
Note 136.7                        The NATIONAL                           7 of 10
CAM::WAY "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Saw"         24 lines   1-FEB-1990 15:31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> human skeleton found on the moon, with the tattered remains of Levis.
> Evidently the Apollo XI astronauts found it.

	Hmm...  I heard it was Calvin Klein jeans and the skeleton was
actually Brooke Shields twin sister who was abducted by alien Elvis
impersonators at birth.

				/Don

	My brother and his roommates have a 'Wall of shame' (it right next
to the Rod Hockey Hall of Fame) filled with pitures cut out fomr the front of 
WWN and the like.  Some pretty interesting pitures...for you bacherlors there 
is a two headed spider girl looking for an american husband!!

Mc

Phone numbers for The National:

New York:  (212) 767-7000
Chicago:   (312) 368-8700
LA:        (213) 479-1000

Got a copy of the premier issue for the Chicago area.  Naturally the local
flavor was Michael Jordan stories.  They devoted around 10 pages to local
information.  One page had boxes for the Big 10, Bulls, Blackhawks, DePaul Blue
Demons, and horseracing.

I really enjoyed the paper.  My biggest disappointment is the lack of
up-to-date box scores.  They only had 5 of the 7 NBA boxes.  But the boxes are
GREAT!  They have minutes, 2-pointers made/attempted, 3-pointers
made/attempted, free throws M/A, total points, rebounds (O-T), assists,
turnovers, fouls, steals, blocks, points/minute!, and season average.  There
are boxes around the total points, rebounds, and assists columns and the
pts/min and season average columns highlighting them, much to my delight as a
rotisserian.

They seem to have scooped the story on Emmitt Smith turning pro and Jerome
Walton's incident with his ex-wife.

There's a "Playground" page with such features as a sports crossword, sports
trivia, milestones (Rickey Henderson needs 22 steals to move past Ty Cobb on
the all-time list).  It also features the return of the comic strip "Joe
Palooka", the strip about a boxer created by Ham Fisher which ran for 54 years
beginning in 1930.

I'd suggest every serious sports fan try and pick up a copy.

j.

    
    Seeing we're talking about newspapers here, this week's world news
    headline
    
    "Parrot tells all at couple's divorce trial".....
    
    I was roaring big time, all I could think of was Hoot and Monty....
    
    mike

    Has "The National" made its way up to the Boston area yet?

I saw it today in the Hartford area, in a B. Dalton's bookstore...

'Saw

I've picked up copies when visiting my in-laws in East Providence.  It's 
the Twilight edition of the New York version.  Not many boxscores from
evening games.

Mike

    Heard on NPR yesterday that The National is scheduled to appear in
    Detroit in September and Boston in October.  Their biggest problem
    seems to be finding printers who can cope with the transmission
    technology from the editorial/layout folks to getting it onto plates for
    printing.  Second big problem will come if they have to get into home
    delivery.  (The only other national dailies with home delivery, The 
    Wall Street Journal and The Christian Science Monitor, have these two 
    items as big-time problems too.  Not sure about USA Today.)
    
    I'm looking forward to seeing it.  Hope it appears in a news box that I
    can get to easily.
    
    A&

    Re: 136.19
    
    Just to add to your note that the National will debut in Dallas in
    August.

    Last week when I was in San Jose I heard on the radio that the National
    is supposed to be sold there starting very soon, this week or August,
    something like that.
    
    Charles

    Sorry to have to bring you guys in large metropolitan areas the
    bad news, but I live in Binghamton NY, population about 70,000, and
    I read the National every day. I'm in customer service and Friday I
    went to a booming metropolis called Walton, pop. 950, and I got my
    daily copy of the National there. Now ain't you all jealous?:-)
    
    				Rich
    

    Rich -
    
    Are you getting the New York version of the paper?  I suspect you are. 
    Regional distribution, even into smaller towns, is the marketing
    tactic.  Kind of like the way lots of New England radio stations carry
    the Celtics, even though the broadcasts originate in Boston.
    
    What is your impression of the paper?  Any particular things you like
    or dislike about it?  What can we expect when we finally *do* get a
    chance to buy it?
    
    A&W

	My brother was getting it at school.  In North Adams Ma.  Go figure.

mc

>>                               -< AKA  No Where >-

Actually, it's "AKA No Where" very near New York.

>	My brother was getting it at school.  
    
    I used to get it a lot in school too.  Those were the days.
    
    	--dan'l

>>	My brother was getting it at school.  
    
>    I used to get it a lot in school too.  Those were the days.
 
What?  Homework?  (-:     
    	

>    I used to get it a lot in school too.  Those were the days.
 
Yeah, didn't you hate the burning and itching?  Sometimes I thought
I was going to have to chop my feet off at the ankles...

Oh, oh, you are talking about athlete's foot, aren't you?*

'Saw





-----------------
* While this note appears devoid of Sports content, athletes foot is
  inflammation of the metatarsal area of the feet, sometimes caused by
  a secondary yeast infection, or too much E. Coli, and is so named
  because it originally started in athletes feet.    	

	New York version of The National is available at the
newstand/kiosk next the the T station entrance in Harvard Square.

	Good magazine, except boxscores are about 1 day behind.

	jim M

       For those who haven't ventured out much today, The National has hit
    Boston. The boxes are everywhere. I picked up my first one this morning
    in Leominster. Just glanced through it so far. Looks pretty good. Frank
    Duford was on with Eddie Anvilhead yesterday. He says they'll
    eventually have home delivery.
                                     Denny

    I picked up an issue in Worcester, definately a good paper for 50 cents
    
                                                           Dan

    Dan,
    
    Where did you find it in Worcester??????
    
    

    How do you know which edition is which (early, late, etc...)
    
    -Walt

    Thanks Don.... you're such a wiseass.. .
    
    what does the Premiere edition have, compared to
    say, some other name?

    Walt, the "Premiere" edition is supposedly better.  You welcome, in
    advance.......
    
    Hawk
    

    thanks (belatedly) Hawk
    
    -Walt

    Nope, Hawk, that's doesn't look like it's it.  The premiere must be
    just for today.  I looked at someone's that bought his here in
    Westford.
    
    Each page is marked at the bottom with the number of *'s.  For
    example, my NLCS recap has 4 *'s with a scorecard of what happened.
    His had that area blank and had 2 *'s on that page.  Other articles
    and pages had only 1 * for each.  There's not way to know by the
    cover which copy is the later one.  Maybe tomorrow that will change.
    
    The cover was the same - "WOESOX" and Greenwell tossing his helmet.

    Twas....

    
    They're actually selling the late-edition National out in front of LKG.
    Wonder how long that'll last?
    
    glenn