Conference 7.286::sports_90

       Awful quiet in here. Must be a lot of zillionaires out there
    with everyone making correct predictions and all.
                                   Denny

    This is a stupid note.
    
    JoJ

>    This is a stupid note.
    
	I've always thought so.

mc

	The times I've thought it was a stupid note were when I had shot off my
mouth about how great so-and-so was going to do, then had to crawl in and bite
the bird. Oh well, a little humility is good for all of us.

Mike JN

    I'd agree with Jim, Mike, and Jeff, but I've been told to lighten up.

    
    When the Crow note was first created, it was fun.  People entered
    without provocation whenever their team lost.  Now it seems its
    more of a gloat note for whenever a team that someone dislikes loses.
    
    Bruce 

    Besides...the "acckkkk, yeck...etc" stuff is old. I don't even waste
    my time looking at it anymore.
    
    JoJ

�    I'd agree with Jim, Mike, and Jeff, but I've been told to lighten up.

Mac,

	I'm sure they meant a BUD Lite!

Mike JN

    The BBQ'ed Jalapeno Crow is ready. :-)

    We're getting a big batch of bird together this weekend. It will
    be BBQ'd also and served with an extra special orange sauce for
    the Browns fans. 
    
    BoB

    
    Sure wish I had stock in the crow division of Perdue done-its.
    
    "It takes a tough man to eat a tough fricken bird."
    
    -Dick
    
    

     Come on all you Dawg fans......  Jacksonta, my self, and a host
    of other Donk fans are serving up the the Crow.  Get it while it's
    hot.....  It taste better then.....
    
    YAP YAP YAP !!!!!
    
    Big Game

     WHAT!!!!!  it's been some time since I let it be known that
    the crow was ready to be served yet no one has showed to MUNCH !
    I could just hear this note had it been the Donks that lost and
    no one showed for a Crow dinner.  Come on dawgs................
    Eat up !!  it might taste bad but it won't kill ya !
    
    Big Game

    
    	Here I am, Jack.  I'll take my lumps.  With Brown gravy.
    
    	JaD

    Hey, Jack, make sure you freeze some of that crow.   You may need a
    helping or two in two weeks.
    
    Bob Hunt

     AHHHHHHH........  Thats where you could be wrong.  I 
    haven't picked the Donks over the Niners yet ....   ;^)
    
     Don't worry, if the Donks Gag in the Bowl, I'll be
    here to eat some of the bird.  It won't be quite as
    nasty though since there aren't many Niner's fans
    in here and I ain't talked a 14,000 foot Mtn's worth
    of BS about them.
    
    Big Game

    Why would we have to eat crow?  The Broncos are expected to be
    blown out.  A close game would impress some. A Bronco win would
    be absolutely beautiful.  This is going to be fun.
    
    BoB

    Welcome to the Phoenician Banquet Hall!  Your tables are set and spread in
    PURPLE and COPPER decor.  The main entree today is an elephant-sized
    black crow marinated in jalapeno and yellow hot peppers.  A superb
    blend from the Mexican culture of Phoenix.
    
    There are many reserved seats here for all those disrespectful,
    insulting Laker fans who have harassed Suns fans for years!  There also
    reserved meat portions of the CROW:
    
    - The adopters of the "Puns" name will receive a special treat by feasting 
      on the "Buns" of this bird.
    - The disrespectful, arrogant ones get to EAT CROW excrement after the
      the others are finished with the "Buns".
    
    No bibs are necessary, just wear the T-Shirts left on the chairs that
    say "I LOVE THE PHOENIX SUNS"!
    
    It should be noted that not all Laker fans were invited to this dinner. 
    Some were just too reasonable and decent fans, BOTH of THEM!  The rest
    know who you are!
    
    Mike

>     <<< Note 30.22 by EARRTH::BROOKS "Never trust a Brooklyn Queen ..." >>>
>                -< I hope you like eating alone Mike .... :-) >-
    
    I'm only serving this year, I had mine last year.  Glad to see you step
    in though.  Enjoy!
    
    Mike

    You know people, I thought something stunk about this series. 
    
    Then a buddy of mine in Phoneix who's a security guard at the DEC
    plant sent me this hidden-camera videotape of Mike's cubicle.
    
    I just wish he hadn't sent it via interoffice mail, I'd had this
    by last Saturday otherwise ....
    
    
    With apologies to Bob Hunt :
    (I hope I do you justice ....)
    
    
    Time : May 9, 1990 in the DEC Phoneix office. Late afternoon. The Suns 
    survived a 5 game series against Utah, and must now play the Lakers.
    
    Mike Heiser is leaning back in a chair with a copy of SI, chasing
    his dose of Mylanta with a fifth of Mad Dog 20-20. He is checking
    the pre-series matchups, and is looking more depressed by the minute.
    
    MH : Damn, I can't bear the thought of another four-game sweep !
    (Chugs some Mylanta) And with the C's out already,(takes a swing of 
    the MD 20/20) I can't deal with another summer of discontent. I'd sell 
    my soul for a Suns' win !
    
    (At that moment, a loud boom, a puff of smoke, and it's The Devil.
     He's wearing a Armani suit, Ray Bans, and Reebok Pumps.)
    
    Heiser : OHMIGAWD !
    
    Devil : Uh, not quite kid. But I'll let it go. I heard you need
    help. By the way, the name is Lou Cipher.
                                             
    Heiser : Lucifer ?
    
    Devil (to be referred to as "Lou" from here on out) : Lou dammit !
    It's better for business. I heard you need help.
    
    Heiser : Well, yeah, b-b-but...can you ?        
    
    Lou : Yo, homeboy ! Can I help ? Does Bo know baseball ? Hell, who do 
    you think helped the Pistons last year ?
    
    Heiser : YOU ? Why ?
    
    Lou : Walt Ashe made me an offer I couldn't refuse ... 
    Or did you think that Magic AND Scott going down was an accident ?
    
    Heiser : Well, look, I want the Lakers to bite the BIG one. I mean
    HUGE. They've got home court, they're looking good, and frankly,
    there is no way in hel- uh, I can't see us beating the Fakers with
    Mark West in the middle. Can you help out ? I'd really like to shut
    Dr,. Midnight's mouth ...
    
    Lou : Whoa there. Can't touch the good Doctor. He's under the protection
    of the Other Guy. Something about DrM being His Instrument Of Vengance
    against the Larry Bird Jihad (tm). The Doc has a lot of integrity. 
    
    Besides, I like his style - I could use a man like him, but I'm
    a Celtics fan myself. And I don't do freebies.
    
    Now, as far as the Lakers go, I can give you a hand there ....
    
    Mike : (Hastily) Hey, dude, no problem ! If you do the Lakers, I'll
    do the rest ! But's got to be a good butt-kicking, do you know,
    do you know, do you know ?
    
    So what are the terms ?
    
    Lou : First, the Celtics aren't going to win jacksh-t for the rest
    of this century. Capiche' ? Secondly, the Lakers get to pound the
    living hell out of your boys next year. Thirdly, I need you to add
    a second partner in this deal. Your soul alone ain't enough.
    
    Heiser : Well, I don't know .....
    
    Lou : Take it or leave it dude - I'm in a hurry. Besides, some of
    LB Jihad have offered me a SWEET deal to get the Pistons iced by
    the Bulls.
    
    (At this moment, Jim Weddle walks in. Mike Heiser introduces him
    to The Devil.)
    
    Jim : Hey Louie baby ! Will I do ? 
    
    Devil : Hell yes !
    
    Jim and Mike : (in unison) Where do we sign !
    
    Devil : Okay, open up a vein, and sign this contract ....
    
    Heiser : Heh heh heh, (gets razor out of drawer - the one he would
    have used if the Lakers had swept the Suns again) the Lakers are going 
    down ! Yeah, bouyee !!! By the way, the Fakers getting blown away
    means a sweep right ?
    
    Devil : Are you crazy ? Hell, everybody will know something's up
    then ! It has to look good. Look, I'm feeling generous - I'll make it
    a five game series. I know you want revenge, but you guys aren't that 
    good for a sweep, otherwise you wouldn't be begging for my help right ?
    
    Weddle : We'll take five games, as long as Faker_ken, and DrM eat
    crow ! And the Suns go all the way, right Louie !
    
    Devil : Your guess is as good as mine .... HAHAHAHAHA !!!!!
    
    Weddle : But you said the Suns would beat the Lakers and win it
    all !
    
    Devil : I said no such thing ! I said you guys would beat the Lakers.
    Period. 
    
    (Lowers his voice ominously.)
    
    You want to renegotiate ?
    
    Heiser : Uh no, no ! we'll take it it ! 
    
    Lou/Devil : Alright then. I've got to run now - enjoy dudes. I've
    been wanted to mess with James Worthy's mind for a looong time,
    heh heh heh ....
                                                     
    =================================================                
    
    Dr. Midnight

    Re: -1
    
    I'm rolling!! ;-)
    
    It takes an imaginative writer like Bob Hunt to come up with something
    like that.  Good work Bob!
    
    Mike

>  Devil : Uh, not quite kid. But I'll let it go. I heard you need
>    help. By the way, the name is Lou Cipher.
>                                             
>    Heiser : Lucifer ?
>    
>    Devil (to be referred to as "Lou" from here on out) : Lou dammit !
    
    You should also aplogize to the writers of "Angel Heart" and the book
    "Fallen Angel" on which it was based.   Plagiarism is a crime
    punishable by watching the Suns win the championship.
    
    	--dan'l
    

    Angel Heart ? Was that the movie with Lisa Bonet and blood on the
    ceiling ?

    
>   (At that moment, a loud boom, a puff of smoke, and it's The Devil.
>     He's wearing a Armani suit, Ray Bans, and Reebok Pumps.)
 
    I didn't know that Arsenio was Satan.  Call Bret Butler!!
                                                             
>   of the Other Guy. Something about DrM being His Instrument of Vengance
                                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^   
    Curious choice of initials, Doc.  HIV.  Hmmmm, anything you'd like    
    to tell us?                                                           

    
    Bruce

>>   of the Other Guy. Something about DrM being His Instrument of Vengance
>    Curious choice of initials, Doc.  HIV.  Hmmmm, anything you'd like    
>    to tell us?                                                           
    
    Comeback of the day Bruce!
    
    Mike

    Yeah Bruce, I'm here to AID other Anti-Celtic sympathisers ....

    
    RE:28
    
    Yes, but you need to edit your reply to capture the true essence:
    
     Angel Heart ? Was that the movie with Lisa Bonet IN THE BUF and blood 
     on the ceiling ?                                 ^^^^^^^^^^
    
    Cool flick.  Good book too.
    
    	--dan'l
    

    You mean, Lisa Bonet brought out her Titles and Aquisitions for viewing
    in technicolor?  Is the movie out in video yet?
    
    Let's see.......  Should I rent Amazon Women on the Moon, Caged Heat,
    or Angel Heart tonight?  :-)
    
    H�wk

    That's easy.  Amazon Women on the Moon.
    
    Mark.

>    You mean, Lisa Bonet brought out her Titles and Aquisitions for viewing
>    in technicolor?  Is the movie out in video yet?
    
    last time I looked, she barely had any Titles worth looking into.
    
    hope this hurts,
    Mike

    I remember that movie now - it was good. Lisa's role was pretty
    unecessary if you ask me. But the movie was a veery good one.
    
    Amazon Women on The Moon was a trip ! Aresenio's role was a riot !
    I hope I never have a day that bad !

    >Let's see.......  Should I rent Amazon Women on the Moon, Caged Heat,
    >or Angel Heart tonight?  :-)
    
    ...or Hardbodies is on Ch. 56.  I never saw it, but the commercial for
    it made it seem appealing!
    
    Dan

    If I'm not mistaken, Danster, Hardbodies is a wicked tease.  I don't
    think any Titles are exposed even in the uncut version.....
    
    Now, if ya want some Titles, check out "Blame it on Rio".  No wonder
    Michael Caine keeps pumping out flicks at an alarming rate!  :-)
    
    Anyone know of any Robin Hood or dragon-slayer type movies with some
    wicked Titles that gravity hasn't infected yet?  :-)
    
    H�wk

    	Hardbodies roolz!  One of the all time classiks!  Scottie Palmer
    and Rags pull the ultimate scam on these old dudes.  H�wk, yeah,
    there were *some* great Titles.
    
    sean

    Caged Heat - I think you get to see LInda Blair's Titles.
    
    Amazon Women on the Moon is a riot.  Especially Don "no soul" Johnson
    (or is it Simmons...)
    
    That and the Monkey in the space suit...
    
    Now, you can watched "Stripped to Kill, Part II" if you really
    wanna see some Titles and Acquisitions (tm) ;-)
    
    JD

    As long as we are in this rathole (not that I'm really certain what
    the topic was, anyway):
    
    If you want Titles and Acquisitions (Gawd, this sounds like a business
    merger here--altho upon further reflection, mergers that are purely
    "business" are not entirely uncommon ;), rent any movie with Sybil
    Danning.  Out of the three being pondered, I think Caged Heat has
    her in it, probably as some mean, cruel, (and most likely kinky)
    warden in a women's prison.  If she's not the warden, then she's
    the "TuffChick" (tm--hey, I can do it too!).
    
    If you like Titles and Acquisitions which aren't quite so...so,
    Blatant, and are looking for Space Wars Clones, try Battle Beyond
    the Stars.  Sybil Dahling is in that too, as a warrior maiden with
    a Maiden-form bra.  Actually it looks more like a long series of
    hardened pipe cleaner strategially wrapped around her, um, Titles.
    
    (and to totally go off the topic, I recall a write up of this better
    than average B-space movie where Roger Corman discussed how difficult
    it was to keep certain parts of Sybil covered enough to get a PG
    rating.  Hell, all she had to do was BREATHE deeply to move her
    costume around.  ;)))))
    
    ---kim

>    Caged Heat - I think you get to see LInda Blair's Titles.
 
      Isn't Sybil Danning in this movie? I'd prefer her titles...

 Hardbodies uncut is a OK.........

and if you really want titles and a......

 check out Bazooka County on Tuexedo.......

 ;^)

    Kim,
    
    Battle among the Stars - I saw that.  You do a great job describing
    Sybil's outfit.
    
    JD
    
    re; Mark,
    
    Hey this is a Family Show!
    
    JD

>    Now, if ya want some Titles, check out "Blame it on Rio".  No wonder
    
    Good ole' Michelle Johnson!  My wife went to high school with her here
    in Phoenix.  She was a real slut!
    
    Mike

I fell in love with Sybil Danning from her Playboy layout
a few years ago... after that I'm always interested in
anything she does...

Now, not quite in the same league, I'm beginning to realize
that Beverly D'Angelo (the mother in Vactaion) might have quite
a set of Titles, in that this new movie she's in looks to be
somewhat revealing...at least the previews are anyway.


Blame it on Rio....classic flick...classic...

Hell, Hawk, rent them all!

'Saw

    Yeah, Beverly's a sweetheart, a favorite o' mine.  Though not the
    absolute bested Titles, her shower scene in the firsted Vacation movie
    made me sweat like a 'Nique! (tm)  Lemme know if her new movie has
    enough of her Titles to take my wife out and see it!  :-)
    
    H�wk

    I truly hope no one from =wn= is reading this...  ;)
  
Re. Frank    

>>I fell in love with Sybil Danning from her Playboy layout
>>a few years ago... after that I'm always interested ^^^^^
    
Relative to what I've seen of Ms. Dannings attributes, I would think
   _ splay-out_ might be more appropriate.
    
    (I know, I'm sorry, but it had to be said.)    
     
   ---kim 

Hawkster --

In her new movie she plays one of a group of siblings who stand
to inherit big bucks from their father who is dying but can't
remember where he stashed the will.

She tends to wear these low cut, tight outfits, which perhaps
enhance the qualities of her Titles.  I can't remember the name.

Also, I believe she is from Connecticut.  Her brother was (is?)
a cameraman for WTNH Channel 8, and the morning men on the 
radio station I listen too (WPLR 99 Rock in New Haven) called her
up one morning.  She's pretty down to earth, and I certainly
wouldn't turn her away from my, um, door...8^)

Chainsaw

    	The name is something like "Daddy's dying, where the hell's
    the will?"
    
    sean

    RE: Angel Heart
    
    Been on video for about 1� years now.  Stars Mickey Rourke, Robert
    DiNero, and Lisa Bonet's titles.  The film initially got an X rating
    due to some scenes.  They cut these out for the theatre and then put
    them back in on video.  Personally, I don't think what they cut really
    was X rated.  The censor dude must have had a stick up his a$$ that
    day.
    
    Storywise, it's a classic.  Don't miss a moment or you might get lost
    (i.e., hit the pause button before you head for the head).  
    
    FWIW, Rourke has just done another movie due out this month that's
    having the same problem.  It's gotten an X rating.  They're
    contemplating releasing it without any rating (which is perfectly
    legal).  I think it's called "Wild Orchid" and it's got some very
    beautiful woman playing opposite Rourke.  Don't remember her name, but
    remember her...shall we say...stuff.
    
    	--dan'l

    To further the rathole, I may be mistaken, but I thought it was
    Sylvia Kristel in _Caged Heat_, and not Sybill Danning.
    
    Hope this hurts.
    
    Mark.

    The best set of hOOters that I have ever seen belong to Rosanna
    Arquette (Desperately seeking Susan). I didn't know who she was
    before this movie, in fact she could walk past me now and I wouldn't
    recognize her, but those Titles I can spot them a mile away.

re "splay-out"

	Gotta agree with that one.....8^)


re Wild Orchid:

	This month's edition of Heffner's Mag has some scenes from
	movie, which are allegedly the ones to be cut out.  Looks
	kinda tame to me, but certainly worthwhile.

	FWIW, the girl is suing Playboy for publishing the film clips
	w/o her permission....


Not to be overlooked:

	Mary Elizabeth Mastroantonio in The Abyss.  She has a
	habit of wearing these tank tops throughout the movie
	which tend to show off her Titular Attributes....


Phoe Shit Shleps,
Chainsaw

    RE: .55
    
    I met Rosanna Arquette at a nightclub here in Charlotte about 1� ago.  
    No joke!  She and I had a few drinks and a couple dances.  Real nice
    lady.  My heart still flutters when I think of it.
    
    Didn't see much of her, if you know what I mean.  She was wearing this
    black cape with a hood (which pretty much fit in with the way people
    were dressed...new wave, progressive types).  I just started talking to
    her and didn't figure out who she was until she told me.
    
    OK, I'm done for the day.  Can't think after this memory comes flooding
    back into my mind.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    
    	--dan'l

    Hmmm, I remember once watch something on one of the movie channels
    where some macho looking guys were driving trucks around and trying not
    to get beat up by these heavies who drove trucks around.  It took place
    somewhere down south and had Sybil Danning in it and a bevy of other
    beauties with little acting ability.  I've got no idea of the name of
    it, and the plot was thin, but it had Titles everywhere!  Worth a look
    if anyone knows what I'm talking about.
    
    Dan

    Dan, i want to hear more about Rosanna.  Didja slow dance with her,
    didja, didga, didja ? 

    No, no slow dance.  I was dancing by myself (you can do that at
    progressive type places and no one will think you're a fag) and a song
    came on I didn't like.  I walked off and went over to the corner where
    I usually hung out.  There was this interesting-looking, very pretty
    blond girl standing there in a hooded cape.  I smiled.  She said,
    "You're a good dancer."
    
    I had no idea who she was.  I made small talk with her and these two
    guy friends of hers (body guards though I did not know it at the time). 
    I think if I'd have recognized her then I would have gone nuts and
    tripped all over myself.  When she figured out I really didn't
    recognize her (i.e., I wasn't star chasing), she started asking about
    the club (a very unusual place in an old warehouse, with a very
    eclectic crowd).  
    
    A song came on and she asked if I would dance with her.  I did.  We
    danced for a couple songs.  I wondered why she never took the hood off. 
    I asked if I could get her a drink and I did.  (She drank Amaretto
    Stone Sours for what it's worth and whatever that is.)
    
    When I came back she finally told me who she was and that she was
    filming in a town outside of Charlotte called Hickory.  I was pretty
    dumbfounded at first (and embarrassed I had not recognized her) but I
    remained calm and figured the only way she'll continue to talk to me is
    if I don't go bananas.  So we continued the conversation, I asked her
    about Hollywood and stuff, had another drink, danced a bit more and
    then she had to go.
    
    Now I look back and think of what I should have done, like giving her
    my phone number.  But I thought at the time that pushing my phone
    number on a star was kind of weird so I didn't.  
    
    Always in my heart, however, I'll have a place for Rosanna.  A
    beautiful person wrapped in a beatiful body.
    
    Once again: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    
    	--dan'l

    I liked her better in _After Hours_.
    
    Mark.

    > Is Jeff on vacation?
    
    Ha!  Right about now, I bet that pervert Needle is in his local video
    rental store picking out all the Titles movies he found out about in
    here this afternoon!  :-)
    
    H�wk
    
    P.S.  I'm still looking for a dragon-slayer type flick with a heroine
          with decent Titles.......  :-)

    Steven,
    
    Ya jusst made spit coffeeee on the tube.  Haw Haw haw.
    
    Spiro T. Agnew, to you, and don't you forget it!
    
    JD
    

    re Roseanne Arquette
    
    See "The Executioner's Song" she plays Gary Gilmore's girlfriend.
    Tittles all over dat flick.
    
    
    re Mikey soiv'in crow.
    
    make mine wif nopales and an ice cold Simpatico or a Scorpion, I need
    to drink this loss away.

    ha. i am rolling this morn.. you guys are too funny.. 
    
    gotta love this file
    
    
    dinz
    

Gee, that's funny.  I had always heard it was JD and Henry Kissinger....

 Hawk, If you haven't seen the Beastmaster before check it out, Tanya
 Roberts should fit your requirements....

 mike

Also, the first Conan flick....Sandahl Bergman is awfully easy on the
eyes.....


Chainsaw_the_Barbarian

    The Adventures of Tennesse Buck has Kathy Showers in it. Playmate of
    the year for one of the years during the 80's.
    
    Tawni Kitaen has a nice set of Tittles. The Perils of Gwendolyn shows
    what a talented actress she can be.

    
    "Benji Does Dallas" is one you can watch with your kids.
    
    The 'mange a trois' scene with the poodle and the great dane is
    breathtaking.
    
    Dickster
    

By all means, get the "B" flick

	The Attack of the Rabid Artificial Inseminators


Traci Lords, in her first major acting role, trys to stop a siege
laid by a group of Artificial Inseminators, infected with rabies
by a rabid bull.   Definitely worth seeing.

It was actually a prequel to "Attack of the Masturbating Zombies"


Phoe Shit Shlep,
'Saw

Ha! Last night on Cinemax: Not of this Earth
starring Traci Lords as the head nurse.

I was rollliinngg.

daryll

    	I heard it was JD and Rosanne Barr...

    Re. 2 back:
    
    	HEAD Nurse????? Just wondering....
    			
    			Rich
    

   `The Sword and The Sorceror' ...... good flick.

   Kelly LeBrock has English Titles!

   Did Marina Navritolova lose her tennis Titles?

   I also heard that Mike Tyson is no longer a Title holder.

   Just returned from lunch, and sat next to a girl with a tatooed Title!

   Troof is stranger than friction!

   Mike JN

    re:  Martina
    
    I saw a picture of her in the paper the other night, and boy did she
    look great.  The new make-over actually made her very appealing.  Then,
    I though of her sexual preference, and I almost got sick!
    
    No offense to those who's preference is different than mine, but
    Martina's a celeb, so I have a right to pick on her!
    
    many :-)'s
    
    H�wk

    
    
    re -1
    
    I missread Martina as Marina and was really confused there for a
    second.  After all I've read about Marina in here, I was starting
    to wonder about you guys.
    
    I may be out your way the week of Memorial Day.  Anyone want to
    get together?
    
    Bruce

    Nope.  We're all busy.
    
    Mark.
    
    :*)
    

Hawk,

I know what you mean.  I recently saw the new ad campaign for
Borden products.  I mean Elsie was looking prime, really prime,
with superb Titles...

Nexted thing you know, I thought about her sexual preferences, 
and about how she really likes bulls and all.  It really bothered
me.

I don't mean to offend any cows who like bulls instead of farmers,
but she is a celebrity and I can pick on her....

Dejected in Hebron,
Chainsaw

    Chainsaw, reply .80 justed earned you the Freakin' Lunatic of the Week
    award.  Congrats!
    
    H�wk

Thanks Hawk...

No flies on me 8^)

'Saw

>Nexted thing you know, I thought about her sexual preferences, 
>and about how she really likes bulls and all.  It really bothered
>me.
    
    Aw what's a matter 'Saw, not big enough? ;-)  
    
    Mike

�    Aw what's a matter 'Saw, not big enough? ;-)  
    
Mike, I've never had any complaints, but I don't think there's one
of us in here who could give the typical 3' Proposal of a bull much
competition...;^)

No, she's just being contrary, I guess.....


'Saw

    Went and saw "Wild Orchid" lasted night.  Wow.  The most erotic movie
    I've seen in quite some time.  Almost beats "Body Heat."
    
    Not much of a story, though.  If you're one for Titles, however, it's
    worth admission.  Carr� Otis is not much of an actress, but I have a
    feeling her other assets will carry her for a while.  Great
    cinematography to create eroticism.  Can't wait for the uncut version
    on video.
    
    There's this one scene that's a real let down.  I won't spoil it fer
    ya, but it involves a m�nage � trois between Carr� Otis, Jackie
    Bissett, and some Brazilian dude my girlfriend described as an "oooof," 
    the same term I use when Jordan, Drexler, Ewing, et. al. have one of
    those superb dunks, or when Dawson, Canseco, Bonilla, et. al. crush one
    over the wall.  You know, when there's just this excellent display of
    athletic power and prowess and all you can say is "oooof."  Well, this
    dude appears on the screen and my girl says, "oooof."  Talk about
    laughing in places you're not supposed to.  
    
    "Wild Orchid" will definitely want to make you take a trip to Rio or a
    cold shower.
    
    	--dan'l

    RE: Wild Orchid.   Mickey Rourke looks sick.  You wanna see a good
    movie with him in it, rent 9 1/2 weeks.

    Saw,
    
    I saw part of teh 'new' traci lords flick on Cinemax lasted night.
    Had to be the most dialogue she's ever had (at least in more than
    one syllable words ;-) ), and the longest she's ever had clothes
    on, and the longest she ever gone without......
    
    Anyway, I watched maybe 10 minutes.  She caint act at all.
    
    JD

Yeah, you're right, but I'll bet she pulls about 5 Torr.....

    Jeff N., there seems to be something wrong with my notebook.  I thought
    I opened SPORTS and I got MOVIES instead.  Did SPORTS move?

    Chainsaw, quick, dig up that "sports is a microcosm of life"
    speech.......
    
    :-)
    
    H�wk

Well, seriously speaking, Sports, in all its iterations, is 
a microcosm of life.

In athletic conflict, man replicates the classic struggle of his
existence from first emergance from the soft, delicate warm world
of the womb, into the harsh, cruel existence of reality, to his
ultimate demise and death, and final rotting unto the dust of the
earth from whence he came.

The striving for victory in pure athletic competition is a metaphor
for man's aspirations towards personal glory, and the attainment
of heaven.  The striving towards personal improvement is in reality
a subconscious desire to become more like our Creator.

Within the microcosm of life you have all the conflicts, the struggles,
and the different personalities commonly encounterd in the real
game, Life.

Within the microcosm of Sports, is yet another microcosm, that of the
SPORTS notes file.  SPORTS notes represents Man in all his imperfect
existence.  Through noting Man tries to understand himself, and
reconcile his sordid existence to his belief or non-belief in the
afterlife.

Movies are a similar metaphor for life, and Man, in all his sentiency,
will naturally explore the dualities, commonalities, and co-existent
factors between the two forms of expression...

Perhaps that is why we often digress in here.

Yet again, there is sometimes an aura of inadequacy amongst the noters,
in that we grovelling mortals are not paid millions of dollars for
what we do, nor do we hear the cheers of the adoring faithful and
forget for a time no matter how brief our frail mortality.  Thus
we often digress to forget for a moment that we are not of the 
chosen few gladiators shown on Saturday Afternoon Baseball, or
Monday Night Football...


Sports is a microcosm of life, and in that life the variety is
what sustains us all.

    FRANKLIN,
    
    NO ONE DISGRESSING BETTER THAN YOU.. KEEP IT GOING.. 
    
    

    
    That metaphor of sports/philosophy/religion explains why the Red
    Sox are the way they are:
    
            25 guys - 25 religions
    

    
    By the WAY, .91 is so darned good...  Mr. Moderator, can the
    introductory greeting of this file be changed from the ::MENSLOCKERROOM
    notation to:
          
       "Please read 30.91 before entering any notes"?
    
    Dickster
    

That was Zen, this is Tao, 
do you start to get it now?
Then there's Budhism, and Hindu,
I used to be Catholic, what are you?

Now there's Scientology and Numerology,
and some might even say there's Zymurgy.
There's Lutherans, Episcopalians
not to be confused with just plain Aliens.

The Muslims have ten sects or more,
and maybe next week there'll be a score.
The Shintos live over in Japan,
I'll think of more, if I can...


Yeah, Dickster, I see what you mean...  

    Mickey Rourke is one of my favorite actors.  In fact, I own most of his
    films that are on video:
    
    	- Rumblefish ***
    	- Body Heat *****
    	- 9� Weeks ***
    	- Prayer for the Dying *
    	- Barfly **
    	- Year of the Dragon ***
    	- Angel Heart *****
    	- Johnny Handsome ***
    
    Angel Heart was his best work.  Like Wild Orchid, nothing happened
    (storywise) in 9� Weeks.  Read the book instead.  
    
    I must concur that he looks terrible in Wild Orchid, but there was a
    lot more to look at than Mickey Rourke in that movie.  He does ride a
    mean Harley, though.  What could be cooler?
    
    	--dan'l

    
    How the hell did you put that together so fast?
    
    -Awestruck
    

Dan'l,

Mickey Rourke was in Body Heat?  William Hurt played the lead.
Who was watching him any way with Kathleen Turner doing some 
serious sweating.

Of course, all SCTV fans prefer Edith Prickley in 'Prickley Heat.'

Mickey was in 'Diner.'  Great flick.

Mike

>Mickey was in 'Diner.'  Great flick.

In my opinion, "Diner" was Rourke's peak and it's been a long, downhill
slide since then.   He's as one-dimensional as James Worthy {trying to
maintain some sports context}.   

Mickey Clang?  It does seem like all he does is stares, but with
movies like 9 1/2 Weeks etc, can you blame him?

Mike

    Mickey Rourke was in Body Heat...for about 10 minutes.  It was the
    start of his (and I must agree) one-dimensional career.  He played
    Teddy Lewis, the guy who showed Ned Racine how to make the bomb.
    
    Forgot Diner and Pope of Greenwich Village (thanks, TTom).  Two other
    good ones that I don't own.  Actually, I started my collection when I
    was dating a girl a few years ago who was crazy about him.  Don't like
    her no more, but Rourke is still one of my favorites.  He's not very
    versatile and he knows it.  That's why he always plays these slimey,
    assholes.  He's good at it.  
    
    No one ever faulted Brando for it. Ever seen him as Fletcher Christian
    in Mutiny on the Bounty?  Weird, man, weird.  Totally out of character.  
    
    If you're good at what you do, you stick with it.  Not everyone is Bo
    Jackson.  (There, I knew I could bring this back to sports if I typed
    long enough.)  Risk takers in Hollywood are either very successful or
    waiting tables.  And if I got payed to run around naked with some of
    the women Rourke has, I'd let myself get typecast too.
    
    	--dan'l

    Mickey Rourke - the Jimmy Clang (tm) of the movies?
    
    Nice try Doug, but that BLAMS Jimmy Clang!!!  Rourke is more
    akin to Stan Papi, or Chris Dudley, someone like that.
    
    Help this hopes.
    
    NAZZ

    Ha ha, nice note, Jeff.  You get the music, Big Mac gets the movies.
    Who gets religion?  :*)
    
    Lee

    Mickey Clang? 
    
    Seems in most of his movies he does a lotta clanging.

    Geez Frank, I just read .91......
    
    Very Impressive. I've got no response except to say....
    
    "All we are is dust in the wind, DUDE!"

�    "All we are is dust in the wind, DUDE!"


A most righteous concept...

Party on, dude,
Chainsaw

    I guess I'm not the only one thought "Angel Heart" was a great flick!
    

>    <<< Note 30.110 by CECV03::MCCULLOUGH "Lindsey's dad - born 01/01/90" >>>
    
    You're a pretty good noter for a 5 month old!
    
    congratulations! :-)

    I'll take a huge helpin' of Black and Gold crow for predicting the
    B's would take the Cup in 7.
    
    Blecch!
    
    Mark.

    I guess I'll take a heaping of crow myself, but I'm going to put this
    baby on the b-bacue and burn it.  The Edmonton Oilers have my utmost
    respect.           
    
    					Steve

    I'll take some too.

Munch, munch, munch.

Yyyuck.

    
    I hate to say it, but the morning guy on one our fine boston area 
    radio stations actually bet a radio station from edmonton that he
    would legitimately Eat Crow if the Broons went down.  
    
    Haven't heard whether he has done it yet.. but you gotta feel for the 
    guy!    

    
    Where does the expression "eat crow" come from?  Is there something
    about crows that make them taste bad?  I thought there was nothing
    that couldn't be improved by either wrapping it in bacon, dunking
    it in butter, drowning it in a cheese sause, or basting it with
    a barbecue sause and slappin' it on the barbie.
    
    Have you ever literally eaten a crow? <--- and notice the small
    'c' here.  We're not talkin' about the Indian Tribe for those of
    you out west.
    
    Dickster
    
    P.S.  For an additional 5 points each, what is the calorie count,
          the cholesterol level, and amount of fat in grams of a typical
          8 oz. serving of crow with a side salad and a Lite(tm) beer?
    

    
    	I didn't make an official prediction in the playoff note, but 
    a large helping is certainly in order.  Just bring it with plenty
    of tabasco, picante sauce, and jalapenos.  And a cold Molson Export
    Ale to wash it down.
    
                                                 Glen J.
                                                        

Throw mine on the grill, let it get sorta well done (I HATE **raw** crow)
and then add some barbeque sauce.

Get some Cool Ranch Doritos on the side, a little potato salad, 
and one of my nice cool Homebrews.  (cellar-temperature, of course!)

Oh yeah, and I could I request a bikini-clad waitress????

Chainsaw 8^)

    You sure this stuff is crow?  Smells like them old hags I had a
    pulling the bandwagon....
    
    JD

    Sure Glenn Johnson!  Eat crow for Portland, but not for your own
    Lakers!
    
    You get 2 helpings my friend! ;-)
    
    Mike

    Why don't we get rid of this stupid crow note. It's almost as bad as
    saying congrats to people that don't/can't read this conference.
    
    yawn....

Hey Wardle!

Don't be so contrary!


Don't Worry.  Relax.  Have a homebrew 8^)


FrankWa

    Better leave this note open just a little while longer.....I have
    a feeling Dinsdale is gonna be hungry

    naw, dinsdale doesnt fit me  wheel..  haaaaa i just  made a funny..
    

    JImWa, this should be your personal note.  How could you get rid
    of it?  The way you jump teams, you should be in here on an hourly
    basis!!  Congrats!!  Opps, the Congrats is only if you don't read
    this.  If you do, it don't count.  Know what I mean?  I know you
    know what I mean.  I don't mean what I mean, tho, so you don't REALLY
    know what I mean and I know that, too.
    
    Lee

�    Why don't we get rid of this stupid crow note. It's almost as bad as
�    saying congrats to people that don't/can't read this conference.

   	I think we should just ignore this note until it's time for
   somebody to eat Crow.... nowatimean?

   PS -  H U G E  Congrats to the New York Jets players and coaches, and a
   small congrats and a big hello to the Two Jets cheerleaders on the
   left.

   Honk if you like sex

          *********
   Mike  `H O N K !'  JN
          *********