Conference misery::feline_v1

5089.0. "Mourning" by VLNVAX::GDREW () Mon Dec 02 1991 07:48

    My cat, Shelley, died Friday morning at home.  I am so sad,
    upset, and guild-ridden, and miss her so very much.
    
    She had been hit by a car about a week before her death on a 
    Saturday morning. There was no outward sign of injury, but
    we found her just lying outside the back door, panting.
    
    We brought her to the vets right away.  He said she had no
    internal injuries, but that she was in shock.  He said he'd
    call the next day, Sunday, with an update on her condition.
    He didn't feel her condition was life-threatening.
    
    When he called on Sunday morning, he said he was disappointed
    in her recovery so far.  He said she was still in shock and that
    her temperature was low.  We called the next day, and he said
    that she had done a complete turn around, but that he wanted to
    keep her one more day and that she could come home on Tuesday.
    
    He did want someone to come over and see her, and bring her favorite
    food, as she wasn't eating too good.  I was tied up at work, so
    my sister went over.
    
    Shelley came home Tuesday morning.  I didn't see her until Tuesday
    night.  At that time, she seemed pretty good.  She had eaten some,
    she curled and my lap and was purring away, and she had urinated
    a little.
    
    By Wednesday, it appeared she was going downhill.  She wouldn't eat
    or drink, and she hadn't urinated since she came home on Tuesday
    morning.  We were concerned, so my sister called the vets to report
    on Shelley's condition.  He didn't seem concerned--he just said to
    force-feed her water with a syringe every few hours, and that he'd
    see her on Friday, but to call if there was any change.  All day
    she just laid there, she wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, didn't urinate
    all day long, and didn't every purr when she was petted.
    
    By Thursday (Thanksgiving), she still hadn't urinated, still wouldn't
    eat or drink.  We had been force-feeding her water, and a mixture of
    milk, egg, and honey.  My sister felt she may have been going into
    the beginning of kidney failure, whereas it had now been about 2 1/2
    days since she urinated.
    
    So we called the vet again.  Again, he didn't seem too concerned.  He
    just said to bring her in Friday morning. 
    
    Friday morning, I had to work.  My sister called the vets about 8:00,
    and they told her to bring Shelley in for 11:00.  At 10:00, my sister
    called me at work to say that Shelley had died.  She was laying on
    the rug, and my sister would go over to her occasionally to give
    her water, or check on her, or just to pet her.  She said she had
    been out of the room for 10 minutes, and when she came back, Shelley
    had urinated and was laying there, dead.
    
    I was so upset.  I called the vets later on in the day after I had
    calmed down a little for some answers.  I felt that if the vet had
    seen her on Wed. or Thursday, that maybe he could have saved her.
    I wanted to know why he didn't want to see her on Wed. or Thurs.,
    and his response was: "I most certainly would have seen her if I was
    asked."
    
    Now I feel so bad thinking that I should have insisted that he see
    Shelley when we called.  Maybe he could have done something. If not,
    if she was really bad off, she could have been euthanized.  That is
    the part that is really killing me inside.  She must have suffered
    tremendously those last 2 days.  When I talked with him and told him
    I felt that because she didn't urinate, that I felt her urine poisoned
    her body and killed her.  He said he wasn't concerned that she wasn't
    urinating because he had been giving her 150 cc's of water directly
    into the skin, and she was urinating fine while she was at the vets.
    He said we were only giving her 20 - 30 cc's of water by mouth, which
    is why he wasn't concerned.  He felt that she probably had something
    blocking the flow of blood, like a clot or something, to her kidneys
    which caused her systems to shut down.
    
    I am thinking of changing vets because of this.  I just don't think
    he gave her the care she should have had.  Maybe he should have kept
    her another day or two for observation before letting her go.
    Maybe he should have seen her that Wed. or Thurs. when we called.
    
    Am I wrong in feeling this way, or is my grief just getting in the
    way of my thinking clearly.
    
    I'm sorry this is so long, it's just that I miss her so and wonder
    if I insisted that she be seen if she would still be here today.
    
    Gayle
    

    Gayle...
    
    My heart goes out to both you, your sister and Shelley.   What
    you are going through is the same thing I went through when
    my Tamba passed away.  It's all the "what if's"...and this is
    all part of the grieving process.  Tamba died over 2 months ago
    and I still have not accepted the death...and feel there are
    still too many unanswered questions.  But these questions will
    never be answered...there is no correct answer!
    
    Again I'm so sorry to hear about Shelley and hope with all my heart
    you will stop blaming yourself.  I know this is not easy but with
    time...they say we will heal.
    
    Sincere sympathies...
    
    Sandy