Conference misery::feline_v1

    
    I know it's a hard decision to make, and I emphathize.  
    I've 'known' you almost as long as I've been noting, 
    through different conferences, and I know that you would
    not choose to put your boy down without having given it
    alot of thought.  
    
    I wish I knew something incredibly encouraging to say,
    but theres nothing.  I hope you know that you and Nick
    are both on my heart.  Hang in there.
    
    dm

    
    Dian, my heart aches for you as I know the pain that you are
    experiencing.  You are fulfilling your obligation to Nick,
    and you know in your heart that you need to fulfill that final 
    part of your promise.  There are some things that our modern 
    medicine and technology can not cure.  In his death, he will
    find life.
    
    Sending Gentle Hugs,
    
    Marlene

How very sad.  I think your note shows how very much you love Nicky.  And I
think you are very courageous in making the decision you make.  I will not
presume to judge your action, since I am in no position to do so.  It is you who
has given Nicky twelve years of love, and only you know in your heart what is
the right course of action.  I only hope others will bear this in mind ...

"Quality of life."  It can be so difficult to remember the guiding principle
should be the quality of life.  And it is so easy to want to keep a beloved pet
alive because his or her absence would create such a gap in our lives.  Yet
Nicky lives in constant fear of the demons, and it is hard to imagine the
quality of a life spent in hiding, not eating, no dignity left, unable to face
the demons which torment.

How hard it must be to keep the promise you made to Nicky so long ago!

                                        - Ken

P.S.:  I think note 2371.3 really speaks to your situation ...

    I'm very sorry about Nicholas.
    

    An Aunt of mine had to make a similar decision with one of her cats. 
    He wasn't autistic; he simply had an uncontrollable urge to spray
    everything in sight.  He would even get up on the windowsills and
    urinate all over them.  She tried everything, from isolation to ovaban
    to tranquilizers and nothing worked.  She knew that taking him to a
    shelter would ultimately result in death given his history and she
    couldn't find him another home either so there was really only one
    choice left to make.  To some it might sound cruel, but I would rather
    it be painless death than to place the cat in a situation (even with
    the best intentions at heart) where his fate might come to something
    worse like pain and suffering
    
    Nick lived a full, quality life.  In a world full of too much misery
    and neglect, Nick lived his life being loved and cared for every single
    day.  If only all living creatures could be so lucky!
    
    There is no right and wrong to situations like yours.  If you are
    comfortable with your decision and feel it best for you, that's all
    that matters.
    
    We'll be with you tonight in spirit.
    
    --Roberta
    

    My heart breaks for you both.  I envy your courage.

    Dian, my heart goes out to you.
    
    Jo

    Di - What a tough decision to have to make.  You are very strong
    to do this last act for Nickie.
    
    No one else can tell you this is not the right decision. He was loved
    by you very much and he must have accepted it to the best of his
    ability.  
    
    Love the others like crazy when you get home and take strength that
    Nickie suffers no more from the shadows.
    
    Barbara

    Dian, I'm a fairly new "noter" but your message really touched me.  To
    have given what you have to Nicholas is more than I can imagine.  I
    feel (at times) very smug with myself to have taken in strays "healthy,
    tho" when I'm able...but to do what you have done makes my efforts very
    insignificant.  I'll think of you this evening as I hug my Figaro and
    TaiTai... if there were any words I could offer, I would... Hang in
    there... 

    Just like the noter that replied before me, I am a new noter.
    Your message touched me as well.  I too, as many other noters
    have expressed, will be thinking about you tonight.  My prayers
    are with you.
    
    Julie

    Dian,
    
    Wish I had some wonderful, soothing words of wisdom to offer you.
    Such a hard decision to make.  I hope the day never comes when I
    have to make a similar decision.  You've done the best you could
    for him and I'm sure in his own way he knows that.
    
    Jan

    Diane:
    
    I am answering this with tears in my eyes.  You have provided your
    Nicki with so much love and care and what you are about to do is the
    is your most unselfish act of loving - your are providing him with his
    'ultimate' healing - he will be going home where all is well and where
    he will be freed from all his fears.  My thoughts are with you - be
    strong.
    
    Lovingly,
    
    Giudi

    Dian-
    
    I can't even say that I know how you feel, I don't. I've never lost 
    a pet. I'm sure you have come to this decision out of LOVE for Nicki.
    It's obvious by the way you took him in & cared for him all of this
    time, that you would do anything to make his life better. I feel that
    that is what you're doing now, too.
    
    I offer you hugs, you're such a special person to have given Nicki 
    such a good life. My thoughts are with you & Marge during this
    difficult time.
    
    Bonnie

    Dian -
      I haven't had to face this decision before but I do know what its
    like to bring kittens into this world.  It is a very special feeling
    and you will always be their guardian angel no matter where they
    go to live.  
    
    My heart just aches too and like others here I wish I had something
    to say to take away the pain.  All I can say is that Nicholas has
    much company where he is now.  I'm sure they will all take good care
    of him and help him make up for the years when he couldn't play.  
    
    What you have done is a true expression of love.  Don't ever let anyone
    else tell you differently.  Its easier to hang on to one we love than
    to let them go.  
    
    I know of two other instances similar to yours.  One involved a cat
    that refused to use a litterbox.  He had three different homes and
    everything was tried.  The second involved an x-feral cat that was
    never able to be tamed.  The person who had her kept her for 1.5 years
    and tried and tried to tame her.  She also lived in constant fear
    and finally got to the point of refusing to use the box.  These
    two people made the same decision as you did.  
    
    Nicholas has been added to the Silver Lining Memorial.  Let me know
    if you have a special way you want him listed.
      Condolences
       Nancy DC
    

    
      I will say this story brings tears to my eyes.  I know it's a
     tough tough decision, as when I put my little Sylvester to sleep
     two months ago, it was the most heartbreaking decision I had to
     make.  But I promised him when he came to me 8yrs ago badly abused
     that he wouldn't suffer again, and when he started to suffer from
     the cancer that's when I put his little feelings before mine.
    
     My heart goes out to you as I will cry for along long time over
     losing my Sylvester but I also know in my heart he is no longer
     suffering.
    
     Best of luck..
     Diana
          

       Let me simply say that anyone who would have any harsh word or would
    not understand the pain you must be experiencing at this time is not
    worth worrying about, because someone who would criticize your very
    hard but necessary decision regarding this poor baby would have to be a
    very cold and heartless excuse for a human being.
    
      Sometimes decisions like this are the RIGHT thing,...but being right
    does not in any way make them easy. I immediately thought of the day
    this past February when I had to finally take my poor, old
    broken-bodied Dachshund, "Ruby", who was my "special" companion, in to
    have her put peacefully to rest. I can remember vividly how I held her
    and hugged her when the final moments came. My vet's entire
    staff--including him--were using kleenex...But her systems had failed
    her, and she was no longer able to walk...so it had to be. But she's
    with my other babies now, and she's waiting for the dya I myself will
    join them all again..
    
      I know words are not worh much at a time like this...but I and many
    of the others here DO KNOW the pain you are feeling..
    
      It takes a "special" sort of love to have given this poor little guy
    the time and love that he has been given. Not many people would have
    given half as much as you have..
    
    JM

    Dian- I do know how it feels - it hurts. I am so sorry you have to make
    this kind of a decision. But you gave him love and kindness - and he
    knows that.You and he are in my thoughts today. You did the right thing
    but it still is so painful.
    Sincerely,
    Pat

    Dian, my heart aches for you.  The decision you made is my worst nightmare.
    I hope, when the time comes for my baby Otis to leave this world, I will 
    have the strength and fortitude to be with him...when he needs me most.
    
    I admire your unconditional love and the committment and responsibility
    of loving your companion till the end of his life here on earth.  His
    soul will live forever and his memory give you peace and love in 
    your heart. 
    
    Marilyn and Otis
    

    
    Dian....
    
    This is truely, unconditional Love for Nick.  I'm sure in your own
    heart, you do know he loved you.  He just couldn't show it in the
    so-called normal way.  I have had to put down two cats and a dog, all
    out of, there was nothing else that could be done........
    
    I lost my Dad, from a terrible case of Cancer.  Not that we should ever
    put down humans, but this kind of love to considered them, I wish this
    world could somehow help us humans when there is nothing left to be
    done.
    
    My heart does break, along with all the feliners.  My Scruffy sends her
    warm fuzzy hugs..........and the meows of concerns from the Dudley Road
    Gang.
    
    Carol
    
    

    We also send gentle hugs and prayers to both of you.
    Kate, Happy, Preschie, and Kissy..

    dian,
    
    how very sad this is.  i have to believe that--somehow--nicholas knew
    or felt that he was loved.  i agree with .16 that anyone who would make
    any criticism about this painful decision is not worth worrying about.
    nicholas now knows peace from the demons of life...
    
    sorrowfully,
    diane, stella & stanley
    

    Dian,
    
    I read your note with tears in my eyes.  My condolences to you and Marge. 
    Nicky couldn't have had a better "cat mom" than you.  You made a very
    brave and loving decision.  I admire you and my heart aches for you.
     
    Steffi

    Dian,
    
    My heart not only goes out to you but to all these kind loving people
    that are so supportive and caring.
    
    Never have I seen such concern - you are all very deep people, why
    cannot everyone be like this, I beleive then not only would animal
    suffering be a thing of the past but also human.
    
    Nick is in a place where only beautiful souls come to pass.  I believe
    it is where you all shall go too.
    
    Christine
    
    P.S Only mourn for a short time it is better to have Thanksgiving for 
    the life that was given.
    
    

    Dian,
      I read your note with tears in my eyes.  It is such a selfless thing
    you are doing......I admire you for your courage.  This is so sad, you
    have my deepest sympathies.  Hugs.
    
    -Heather

    This note really got to me.
    
    Dian,
    
    I admire your courage...
    
    This decision is never easy.  As these other caring noters have said,
    I hope when the time comes for my two, I can be as brave and unselfish
    as you.
    
    Anna/Zildjian/Spunks
    

    This note got to me too, Dian.  I went through the very same thing
    this morning and I know how you're feeling.
    
    My prayers are with you and Nick...
    
    - Kathryn
    

    Kathryn - After reading your note, I want to say I am sorry
    you had to make the same decison this morning but commend
    you for taking time out of your grief to help Di.
    
    Barbara

    Dian, How much you cared for him is obvious from your note, as is how
    well you dealt with what must have been an incredible amount of
    frustration.  My deepest sympathy, and know that he is in peace, 
    possibly playing in a field of flowers for the first time.  When you
    see him again, he will be able to show you his love.  
    
    Linda, Midnight, KiKay, Penny, Max and Sebastian

    No words can even express my deepest condolences to you.  that is
    a hard decision...and I pray to god that if something like this
    should happen to one of my babies...I have the strength and the
    courage to do the right thing.
    
    Goodby Nicky and may you find peace in heaven!
    
    Sandy (Tamba, Poco, Barkley, Anges, Chloe, Dewey, and Abby)

Sir Nicholas Longtail went gently and peacefully into the night...I think he 
was very, very tired.  We all miss him.
    
Kathryn and McD,

I am sorry you also lost a friend.  I have never had to do something quite
this painful before...I will miss my gray tuxedo cat for a long time.  It
was the right thing to do, but it hurts so very much...Time will help us
recover - but it is a special pain.  It is also the price we pay for living
with our animals.

to all,

Your support is deeply appreciated.  I entered this note so that others who
might have to face this decision would know that they didn't fail their cat
or themselves.  Sometimes, the kindest thing to do is to release both of you
from the pain and fear.

    
         I feel what you went through, too.  I probably would have come to
    the same decision if I were in your shoes.  May he rest in peace.
    
                          Denise and the gang of 10

    Let's try this again.....
    
    Dian,
    
    Although everyone's already said it, my heart goes out to you, too.
    Your bravery in facing the only decision you could make - I just hope I
    can be so courageous and gracious when I face a similar situation.
    
    Bless you,
    Mary plus 6 1/2
    

    Our thoughts are with you and with Nicholas.  It was a very brave thing
    to do.
    
    All our sympathy,
    
    Karen (and Georgie)