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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO
Created:Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5089
Total number of notes:60366

4637.0. "Could REALLY use some help, big time" by EXIT26::CATALANO (This is HELL, REALITY comes later) Fri May 10 1991 11:47

    I could use some help here.  
    
    Let me explain, about 1 1/2 months ago I got Bailey, a small female who
    turned into my baby.  She is the real loveable one, she slept with me,
    met me when I came home from work, gives love bites at 3:00 in the
    morning :-( licks my face and all the other great things kittens do. 
    She is about 10 months old now.  Anyway..
    
    About two weeks ago, I got another cat, she is almost 2 years old, a
    Himmie, she just finished feeding her last kitten, which is  now my
    daughters, [seven weeks] the problem is Chelsea [the himmie] _hates_
    Bailey.  And I do mean HATES....
    
    Chelsea is very loveable too, she likes to sleep with me, she also
    follows me wherever I go,[something new for me] she sits next to me
    no matter where I am.  I love that part of it.
    
    BUT she won't let Bailey near the bed, near a chair or near any food. 
    She goes right after her, this morning the paw shots were flying all
    over the room.  I can't stand to see this happen, but have been trying
    to let it take its course and see what happens.
    
    If Bailey comes on the bed Chelsea goes right after her, I enjoyed
    Bailey being next to me at night, she is a sweetheart.  I know this
    happens, and I understand some of it.  But its getting harder and
    harder not to get mad at Chelsea.  
    
    Chelsea loves Hugo my male and even lays down next to him, [he can come
    on the bed with no problem] she even lets the dog nearer her then she
    will let Bailey.  Can you help me with this?  I would like to have
    peace in my house again, and its not funny anymore.  When I go for the
    spray bottle, Bailey runs, but that time, whats the use of spraying
    Chelsea?  Hugo has been fixed, Bailey is going to be soon.  Will that
    help?  Will Chelsea become nicer?  Gawd, I hope so.....
    
    I'm really worried about Bailey changing, THAT I don't want!!!
    
    HELP..PLEASE.... I don't want either of my babies hurt or changed....
    
    Thanks
    
    Helena, Hugo, Bailey, and the witch Chelsea :-)  oh yea, Tank too, he
    doesn't like the fights either....
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4637.1WR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JOset home/cat_max=infinityFri May 10 1991 12:5515
    Is Chelsea spayed?  If she is not, and she just finished weaning
    kittens, she could be reacting territorily to Bailey, who is also not
    spayed.  This kind of thing happens in my house all the time, since I
    have whole females running around.  It seems to be a natural course of
    breeding for us.  That is one reason why I separate queens with kittens
    from the rest of the household.  
    
    Does the kitten live with you too (the one that belongs to your
    daughter)?  If so, that might make it worse.
    
    Spaying all the girls would probably help, and so would giving them
    time.  I have found that spayed cats are less "serious" about their
    threats to each other than whole cats.
    
    Jo
4637.2ThanksEXIT26::CATALANOThis is HELL, REALITY comes laterFri May 10 1991 14:4513
    No, Chelsea isn't spayed.  She will be in time.  The kitten lives with
    my daughter so thats not the problem.  
    
    I have tryed wiping them all down with the towel, then rubbing it on
    Chelsea, I have tryed holding each of them together and tryed to show
    the other isn't going to eat her up.  Nothing is working so far.  And
    as I said, I don't want either one of them hurt.  And I don't want to
    see either of them change their loving nature.  
    
    Thanks for the help tho.  Maybe when Bailey is fixed it will change, I
    sure hope so, I know she does too.  
    
    HC
4637.3*HOW LONG IS TOO LONG....*AIMHI::OFFENFri May 10 1991 15:2715
    I'm having the same problem with Lightning and Patches, both spayed
    females.  It has been going on for 17 months.  I've tried the water
    bottle treatment, the loud *NO*, and anything else I could think of.
    
    I really understand what you are going through.  Lightning is and will
    always be #1.  Patches is a stray we took in.  She is a very loving
    cat.  I am determined to *wait this one out*.  Lightning accepted
    Deja and Thunder because they were babies, but Patches was an adult
    when I brought her in.
    
    If anyone has an answer or solution, I'll also be glad to try it....
    
    Sandi and the Storm Troopers
    
    
4637.4ISLNDS::GASKELLFri May 10 1991 16:1822
    The cats could also be responding, in part, to how you react when
    they fight, (like the child that annoys its parents for the attention).
    I have seen Tigger walk up and down in front of the sleeping Chuckie
    until the Chuckster wakes up and attacks him (Tigger).  And they
    aren't playing either, it's quite vicious.  Instead of taking sides
    I now give them both a squirt with the water bottle and don't comfort 
    either cat.  I've had some initial success--they both ate on the 
    kitched floor this weekend without fur flying.  It's only been 10 months! 
    
    Miss Moppet, on the other hand, let the Chuckster know that "Moppet
    don't play that" and he mostly does what she tells him to, but she's
    a female--Tigger's another male although both neutered.
    
    It's traumatic, but hang in there it usually takes a little time,
    but worth it.  Just tell them that YOU say who stays and who does 
    not, not them. 
    
    
    
    
    
4637.5WR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JOset home/cat_max=infinityFri May 10 1991 21:2626
    I think that .4 has a point.  I have a household full of whole cats,
    female and males, and have added every combination to the mix.  I don't
    have that much problem with the adjustments, just a few days of
    hissing, but nothing major.  When someone hisses or swats, I either
    ignore it and let them work it out, or I squirt all those involved.
    I do not comfort any of them after a spat.
    
    Also, one thing I learned early on is to never force cats on each
    other.  When I had my first two cats (ever), I did that and they never
    got along.  I would often hold them both at the same time, forcing them
    to be face to face, inches apart.  It was too much, and I didn't know
    not to do it.  Let them each have their own space, and let them work it
    out.  My first two cats *never* adjusted, and after 4 years I finally
    decided that the best thing to do was to find a new home for one of
    them.  I also picked up a book by Carole Wilbourn that had a chapter on
    introducing cats, and have used her methods since then.
    
    Also, you have to give them time.  And I mean time, like at the very
    least 6 months.  I introduced Kaisha, a 3 year old whole Birman female,
    to our household and it was  good six months before she felt safe and
    wouldn't hiss at everyone else.  She wasn't aggressive to the others,
    she just felt threatened all the time and acted defensively.  She is
    doing great now, it has been a year and 3 months and she acts like she
    has always lived in our house with these other cats.
    
    Jo
4637.6 stressKAOFS::J_GREGOIRESat May 11 1991 04:2454
    	
        	
    Well since we are talking about introducing new cat,let me tell you
    about my introduction of my little Aby to my old Siamese.When I found
    out that I was going to get my baby Abyssinian I started to worry about
    how hard it was going to be for a while for my Siamese to get use to it
    so for two weeks I kept tell Sebastian that he better like his little
    brother.so the night the breeder brought me my baby Aby I brought
    Sebastian over to a friend so i would feel more relax while I was
    talking to the breeder asking him question and getting my papers,I
    could tell that he was a little bit nervous about leaving the two
    months old Aby with me knowing that I owned 12 lbs Siamese so when he
    left I decided to spend a little bit of time with my new baby that i
    named Pharoh so after a while I went to get Sebastian,when i putted him
    on the floor he when to see the new cat I was tense & watching every
    mouvement ready to rescue my new cat,I don't have to tell you that
    there is a huge difference between the two of them,anyway Sebastian
    got close to that little baby but Pharoh was afraid and started to arch
    his back and started hissing at that huge cat in front of him WELL
    guest who got scared that's right it was "Sebastian" who ran away.The
    second day they were sleeping together on the sofa and the day after
    that Sebastian was cleaning pharoh, and he's not even jalous by the new
    cat this is so bizzare I never thought that Sebastian was going to
    mother the baby this is so cute and I am glad that I won't have to
    worry about all the problems that comes with introducing new cat to an
    old one. 
    
    I understand what you are going trought it is terrible to see your love
    one not getting along.I think that some cat just don't like some cat it
    must have something to do with chemistry some can learn to like other
    and some just don't.Before I got this baby I tried to have another cat
    3 years ago and just did not work out so i had to give the kitten away,
    and now i got that little Abyssinian and things are doind just find it
    is strange but cats are like humans sometime and meet some other cat
    that they just don't like at all, if you know what i mean by that,it
    happen with us also just think about a person that you cannot stand and
    just think about putting that person to live with you for the rest of
    your life sure! that some of us would get use to it but i'm sure that
    some of us would not get use to it , so it is the same with cats.'
    that's why sometime you haveto find another home for one of them.	
    
    After a while if you see that it's not working don't torture you're
    self you have to make a decision at one point .
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    Jean...                                                                	
                                                                               	
                                                                              	
                                                                               	
                                                                              				
                                                                              	        	
                                                                               	                	
4637.7could use some helpEXIT26::CATALANOThis is HELL, REALITY comes laterFri Jun 21 1991 14:198
    HI
    I have a question and I hope someone can help me with an answer.
    
    Can a cat be pregnant and the vet not be able to tell?  Its about 21
    days since she was in heat and she was with a male the whole week.
    
    Thanks
    Helena
4637.8WR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JOset home/cat_max=infinityFri Jun 21 1991 14:2515
    Yes, if it has only been 21 days since the day of the first breeding,
    then it could be too soon for the vet to tell if she is pregnant.  Wait
    until day 28 from the first day of mating and have him check her
    palpate her again.
    
    At about day 21, you may notice her nipples "pinking up".  Normally, a
    cats nipples are the same color as the rest of the skin on her tummy,
    whitish.  When they are pregnant, the color of the nipples turns very
    pink.  But this doesn't occur until *about* the 21st day.
    
    Could be that your cat didn't conceive until later during the week that
    she was with the male.  So, it may be a few more days before any signs
    are apparent.
    
    Jo
4637.9WR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JOset home/cat_max=infinityFri Jun 21 1991 14:265
    Just noticed that you were counting 21 days from her heat.  You have to
    count 21 days from the day the first breeding took place.  When she
    came into heat wouldn't matter.  It is when she was bred that matters.
    
    Jo
4637.10EXIT26::CATALANOThis is HELL, REALITY comes laterFri Jun 21 1991 14:3312
    Ok, lets see, she came into heat May 30th, he came down May 31st.  I
    was away and my daughter put them both downstairs alone.  She said she
    heard crys and such but never went downstairs to see if anything
    happen.  :-(  
    
    When I came home, they were all lovey to each other, kissing, cleaning,
    laying with each other.  But that ALL I saw, they were together
    downstairs another two or three days.  Soooo, I'm not sure either. 
    This would be her second litter, he has never been mated.  I was hoping
    tho, I'm going to have alot of people mad at me..... :-)  
    
    
4637.11the people can wait til she's readyWR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JOset home/cat_max=infinityFri Jun 21 1991 15:3013
    I bred a girl on June 3rd and she is showing signs of pregnancy
    already, but this is her fourth litter.  
    
    Your girl would between 21-29 days today depending on what day of
    togetherness she was actually bred and conceived.  The vet should 
    be able to palpate kittens right now, unless there were too many
    and they were too big to distinguish.  But, he should at least have
    been able to tell that she was pregnant.
    
    Do you know how to tell if she is pregnant by reading her behavior. 
    That might be a possibility since this is not her first litter.
    
    Jo
4637.12 missed, I guessEXIT26::CATALANOThis is HELL, REALITY comes laterTue Jun 25 1991 09:4911
    Hi,
    
    Sorry I didn't get back, I wasn't in yesterday.  I thank you all for
    your help, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.  
    
    As far as seeing how she acts when she is pregnant, I wasn't around for
    the first one, she was givin to me later.  I'm almost sure she isn't
    tho, as you said the vet should have been able to tell and he felt
    nothing.  Soooo, I guess we just wait it out.
    
    Helena