Conference misery::feline_v1

    Give it a little.  He needs time toget used to people being his friends
    now.  Flirtaysha ran away from me for 2 weeks!  Now she won't leave me
    alone.  Just give him lots of love and don't pressure for any in
    return.  I'm sure he'll come around.  Think of how you'd feel if
    suddenly you were taken from your family and forced to live with a
    bunch of cats you didn't know.  He'll grow out of it...just give him a
    little more time.
    Lisa and Flirtaysha

    Congratulations on your new addition. Orientals are beautiful!! I have
    three cats - one ginger tabby, one sorrel abyssinian and one tortie
    tabby oriental. The oriental has been with us since about October. She
    took quite a while to settle in. She came from a home where there were
    many cats and she was sweet, gentle and soooo affectionate when she was
    there. When we got her home it was a different story. As soon as she
    saw the other cats she got very grumpy. She bit my fiance - it was so
    deep his thumb went numb. She scratched and lashed out for no reason
    and hid at every opportunity. We thought we'd made a huge mistake!!
    However, after about three weeks she reverted back to her old (young!)
    self and is now so loving and gentle that you wouldn't believe its the
    same kitten. 
    
    What I'm saying is, maybe orientals take time to settle. Keep trying.
    Have you got any kitty tease toys - something on the end of a string
    etc. That way he might learn quicker that being around you is a fun
    thing. The obvious solution is to find him a friend, but as that is out
    of the question just relax a little with him, play and keep talking to
    him. I'm sure he'll come round and when he does, it'll be GREAT!
    
    Good Luck!
    
    Lisa plus Pookie, Rolf and Florence (the oriental).
                  

    I know I need to be patient.
    
    My husband made one of the sparkly tease toys on a long stick - but he
    is not yet interested in playing.
    
    He actually came into the den when my husband and I were having coffee
    this morning, but didn't stick around. I suppose that is progress.
    
    This is really my first time to adopt an adult cat. I know it is
    different from getting a kitten, and just hope that things will work
    out. I've waited soooo long for this.

    I went through this exact same situation TWICE, taking on 2 kitties and
    then just one from shelters.  What I didn't know was that they were in
    kept in very small cages for nearly a month before I adopted them. The
    day I picked them out they were "handed" to me from a back room so that
    I wouldn't know they had been cramped up.
    
    In the first situation with the two, they went nuts when I brought them
    home (to a large apartment).  One took to me immediately, the other
    shred/mangled/ripped/destroyed whatever was in sight.  I was
    hysterical! I didnt realize she was taking it out on me!
    
    The single kitty I took on hid from me for two weeks! Very
    unaffectionate, wanted to be left alone.  That was really hard because
    I wanted her to like me as much as I liked her.  Finally, into the
    third week she climbed into my lap and started warming up to me.
    I guess you just have to be overly friendly and understanding for as
    long as you can stand it.  I know it is hard to give a lot of affection
    and love and get very little in return.  But I think what every past
    history your cat has will eventually be ignored by your attention and
    affection.  Just be patient and give it time!

    Adult cats are harder to socialize into their new family. 
    Mr. Miyagi took 5 months before he would even step into the
    same room with my husband. Now he gets up on the couch with
    BOTH of us but is still very shy with Tim. (He definately is
    MY velcro cat.)
    
    Be patient. When Mr. Miyagi is sitting next to me and looks like
    he is thinking, I ask him what he is thinking about his old home
    and his brother and mother or reflecting on his new home and family,
    and he usually talks right back to me. IF only I could understand
    cat language. They have long memories of previous experiences, just
    ask anyone who has taken in an adult cat.
    
    Barbara and her 3M's
    

    Signe,
    Orientals can be very,....I guess more like a real wild cat.  They can
    rely upon themselves and respond to many situations like a wild cat.
    Do not get me wrong when I say this.  An Oriental will become very
    dependant on you as it's partner, more than a friend.  They are very
    devoted and can be protective of you.  Their intelligience runs pretty
    high and match that with their physical abilities and you have quite a
    little character!  Expect the unexpected!!!  Your new cat is acting in
    a way to protect itself right now.  With everything being new he  is
    relying upon instinct.  Try to tempt him with special treats and talk
    calmly ALOT .  He will soon adjust and give you what you are looking
    for in a cat (if this style is truly what you wanted). I have found
    that they especially like to sleep under the covers right up next to
    you at night.  Try it if you can, I know your husband is allergic, but
    so am I!  I CAN NOT sleep unless one is with me, (talk abou security
    blankets, they keep all the monsters away in the night!)  I think you
    will be very pleased in the end.  By the way who did you get him from
    and what is his name?  I love blues!
    Karen, Ruby, Stinky, Wing

One aspect not emphasized so far is the fact that your cat is more socialized
to other cats than to humans at this point.  It will take him a little while
to realize that you and your husband are his sources of social comfort now...
introduce play into his environment as often as possible...even if he doesn't
play at first, if you dangle something interesting in front of his face long
enough, he will begin to show an interest.  By all means, DO spend time talking
to and touching/holding him.  If you don't make an effort to "socialize" him,
the situation will probably not get very much better.  He needs to associate
your voice with pleasant contact with you.  I am glad you aren't getting
another cat, at least right now, as he would be prone to bond to the cat
rather than to you.

It may take awhile, but I know they turn into good companions - My Hannah is
a glowing example of what can happen when you spend time socializing your
cat - she is devoted to me and spends all her time 'hanging out' and talking
to me when I am home.  We have one of the best relationships I've ever seen.
All my friends are amazed that she is so attached to me.
Just be patient and keep working on him.

    I'm not going to suggest anything about the cat as I don't know much about
    Orientals, but you might want to look at other notes on cat allergies.
    There is a keyword (allergies, I believe) that points to those notes.
    Among other things discussed is the fact that people with cat allergies
    seem to develop a resistance to their own cats so that they don't
    suffer allergy attacks at home but they still react to others' cats.
      
    Enjoy your new companion.
      Nancy

    My husband is showing absolutely no allergic reaction to our new baby.
    Even though he was told he was allergic to cats, they were just one
    item on a list that was a mile long. I believe his real allergies were
    seasonal.
    
    I don't believe it will be a problem, he is still waiting to see if it
    is.
    
    Anyway, I am home with the flu today and it is giving me some time to
    coax the new guy by myself. He came with the name Eyor (the donkey from
    Winnie-the Poo), I've got a real problem with calling my obviously
    intelligent cat after a donkey. We have a few names we have been trying
    out, but have not settled on one yet.
    
    Anyway, I have managed to get him to sit with me for a while today and
    he seemed to really enjoy it - purring loudly, kneading my arm, etc.
    So, I think I am making progress.
    
    The reason I chose an oriental is for the purrsonality and intelligence
    they have. I had an all black half-Siamese who was totally devoted to
    me. Of course, I got him when he was a kitten - the big difference. He
    was so smart and so dedicated, I can never forget him. I just hope my
    new guy will eventually get to love me even half as much.
    
    I appreciate the encouraging words. The one thing I had wondered whether I
    should do, was suggested in a previous reply. That was to pick him up and
    sit him with me from time to time. I'm going to keep trying, when I can
    get him. He seems to enjoy it so much.
    
    Thanks for all the encouragement.
    
    Signe