Conference misery::feline_v1

    
    Mike,
    
    Just knowing that you understand may be all that is needed right now.
    Everyone grieves in a different way and I agree that it is very
    difficult to know what to say.  Sometimes a simple "I'm sorry" and a
    hug are about the best you can do.  There are some very nice sympathy
    cards available now for the loss of a pet.  It may be easier to write
    a short note than to say anything at all.  Please convey my sympathy to
    Michele.
    
    MaryAnne  

    I think the most you can do is just be there if she wants to talk
    about it.  Maybe a gentle hug and a warm smile is all she needs.
       
    So sorry to hear about Treize....it's so hard when there so young.
    Maybe your friend can take a little comfort in knowing that she
    gave this little baby more love in her short life then most cats
    will ever get.
                              
    Please share my condolences to your friend.
    
    Sandy (Tamba, Poco, Barkley, Chloe, and Anges)
    
    
    ps..I have another idea...print off these notes and maybe your 
    friend can take comfort in knowing there are many many feline
    friends grieving with her.
    
    

    Mike,
    
    I'm surprised...  I have read the beautiful poems that you post in
    canines.  You at a loss for words.....
    
    Actually,  when I lost my Keisha I cried at the drop of a hat (or
    thought ) for weeks.  Then I wrote in canines about what a
    wonderful companion she had been.  That immediately made me feel
    better.  Not right away, but in the near future, maybe your friend can 
    write a little something about the kitten that she gave 4 extra weeks
    of life to.  That way she can always remember the kitten and will also
    remember the good times and not dwell on the shortness of the kittens 
    life.  You can also remind her that the kitten had 4 wonderful weeks
    with someone who loved it and not 4 sad weeks trying to survive in the
    big, bad, cruel world.
    
    Sandi, Storm's mom
    

    Paw pats and hugs from my bunch.
    Karen,Ruby, Stinky, Wing and Arthur (who sends extra hugs)0000

    We are so sorry to hear abut this.. Please give her kittyhugs and
    kisses(human ones too) from all of us..
    Kate, Happy, Preschie

    Mike,
    
    I, too, am very sorry to hear about her loss.  One of Lil's babies
    was born a bit too soon, and I only managed to keep her alive for
    5 days, but the attachment forms even in that short time.  When she
    died, I didn't even want to talk about it, let alone accept sympathy.
    It was Lily's first baby - a good thing is maybe give her a hug, and
    let her know that you are there if and when she wants to talk.  That
    way she know she has the option when she is ready. The longer they
    are with us, the harder it is when they leave.  They say that time
    helps - I guess it does. 
    
    If there is anything I can do, stop by .
    
    E.T.

    I too would like to offer my condolences. And, because I am the
    moderator, I feel I am going to have to comment on the suggestion
    made in reply .2 If anyone decides to print off any notes from this (or
    any other ) conference to share with someone who is not a DIGITAL employee, 
    PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU REMOVE ALL REFERENCES TO THE CONFERENCE and
    LOCATION (in other words, save the notes in a file and using an editor,
    remove the line that says VAXWRK::FELINE before printing out the text). I'm
    not trying to single anyone out, but lately I've seen a lot of notes from
    folks saying that they printed notes off and shared them with family &
    friends and this time I thot I'd say something BEFORE hearing it was
    done.  

    thank you,
    Deb Skaltsis
    FELINE co-moderator

    au revoir, la petite treize.  bon voyage au paradis...
    
    diane, stella et stanley
    

    Hugs from us,
    
    Karen, Sweetie, Holly, Little Bit
    

they so quickly become as important as our children -- especially for those
of us without children, and so much so when we care for them as babies or
nurse them back from near death.  I would treat this as the loss of a beloved
family member and treat your friend as one who is grieving the loss of a child.
Simply being her friend and being there in case she needs to talk.  Time is
the only healing presence there is for this kind of loss.

      I had a loss once,  4 kittens.  The stray momcat I had taken in had
    had an infection she passed on to the kittens when they were born.  I
    fought it with medications for weeks,  but one by one, lost the battle.
    2 kittens survived, but the 4 died.  I was absolutely devastated, and
    kept feeling it was somehow my fault, even though the vet assured me
    it wasn't.  It takes time to get over,  hopefully she doesn't feel
    guilty.  She did the right thing, taking the kitten in. The poor baby
    probably would have died earlier, never knowing about the love and care
    it received in its short life. The best of care was given, she did the
    best she could,  that's what counts. 
    
                          condolences from Denise and gang of 9
    

    Your friend gave little Treize a special gift, LOVE.  That's something
    that the little one never would have known if she hadn't cared for
    it.  Knowing the depth of attachment that can develop for a kitten
    I can only imagine the pain she must be feeling.  Tell her that
    Treize's name has been added to the Silver Lining Memorial fund for
    next quarter.  Perhaps her shelter can be one of the recipients.
    
    With Much sympathy
    Nancy DC and the Putiput cats.
    

    
    Mike,
    
    Please tell Michelle that we all feel for her in her loss.  We cry
    human and kitty tears, and send big gentle hugs.
    
    Feline Sad for Michelle,
    
    Sue & Panther & Spot
    

    Michelle,
    
    Just remember-it's not the quantity of the life but the quality. 
    Trieze had one heck of a good life with someone who cared enough to
    try and help her.  You're one terrific mommy and don't you forget it!
    Hang in there.
    
    Hugs and Kitten kisses,
    
    Lisa and Flirtaysha
    

    Thank you all so much for your heartfelt expressions. If you have no
    objections, I would like to share these notes with Michele (I will, of
    course, extract only the text and not the headers to comply with
    corporate policy.)
    
    Sandi, I shared your suggestion about writing a tribute to Treize with
    Michele today. She thought it was a nice idea and I've convinced her to
    publish it in the next issue of the shelter's newsletter. Because she
    has a few photographs of our little friend, she'll be able to accompany 
    the memorial with a picture. Thanks so much for the suggestion.
    
    Nancy, please tell me more about the Silver Lining Memorial Fund. And
    thank you in advance for thinking of the shelter!
    
    Best regards to you all.
    Mike 
    

    
    Mike,
    
    A few weeks ago I heard on the radio that the University of
    California, Davis campus, had instituted a nation-wide Pet Loss/
    Grief Helpline.  It may help your friend Michele to have a place
    to call and just talk out her feelings when she's up to it.
    
    Unfortunately, I was driving when I heard the radio spot, so I
    can't provide you with the number.  But 1-916-555-1212 should be
    able to give you the number for UC/Davis.  I'd probably start 
    with the Veterinary School, since I seem to remember it was a
    group of vet students who started the Grief Helpline.
    
    Hope this is a help...
    
    Lynn and Molly & Iago