Conference misery::feline_v1

    Arlene,
      I'm so sorry to hear about Misty - I think Misty might have sensed
    that you did care for her though - Don't let your mother put you on a
    guilt trip over this, if she had taken better care and precautions in
    the first place this might not even be an issue!  Try to remember only
    the good things about Misty and try to get on the best you can.  Again,
    I'm very sorry for your loss.
    
    Heather + Muff,Oscar,Pandora + Cocoa
    

    I'm so  sorry to hear about Misty. I can't think what else to say.
    
    Remember the good times.
    
    Lisa plus Pookie and Rolf.

    
    Arlene, I'm very sorry to hear about Misty.  Please do not feel guilty
    about what your mother wrote.  She's probably feeling sad herself and
    venting her fustrations on you.  I say because I had gone through
    something similar with my mother.
    
    It's never to late to say goodbye to Misty in a prayer.  Pets are like
    humans, they accept the love that is given to them and they hold that 
    love in their hearts and when they pass on, they take that love with
    them.  I'm sure Misty knew you loved her.  Take care.

    Arlene,  I am also so sorry about Misty.  I think we all feel a
    little guilty when one of our babies go to heaven because we always
    feel we could have done something different.  I'm sure you mom was
    also attached...and hopefully neither one of you will take out the
    frustration on the other. It must be so hard on both of you...
    especailly when you can't console one another.
    
    I'm sure Misty remembers you very well...and you have many good
    memories to keep you heart strong for her.
    
    So sorry..
         
    Sandy
    
    

    Arlene, we are  so sorry to hear about Misty.. We will remember you
    in our prayers..
    Kate, Happy, Preschie

    We're very sorry about your loss.
    
    Kren, Sweetie, Holly, and Little Bit
    

    arlene...
    
    so sorry to hear about the loss of misty.  is there *any* way this
    common loss might help you breach the rift in your family--before it is
    too late?  that might give some meaning to misty's passing...
    
    just concerned,
    
    diane, stanley & stella
    

      I am so sad for you.  I know what you must feel right now.  I had
    a similarly bad situation with my folks for years, and these things
    do make you feel most guilty.  Moms definately have a knack for doing
    that, even when you're all grown up.  I agree with .7 though, maybe
    things can be patched up.  You both must be feeling a powerful lot of
    emotion right now, and although I don't know what happened in your
    family,  maybe this would be an opportunity to make amends.  It would
    be helpful for you both to express what you feel, maybe it could lead
    to better things.  You have a sad story for sure,  I know because I
    have been there, just reading this brought back a lot of memories.
    Hope things work out for you..
    
                                 Denise and the gang of 8
    

    Sorry to hear Misty has passed away.  Try not to blame yourself too
    much for not seeing her.  She would have known how much you cared.
    
    Be brave,
    
    Karen (and Georgie)

    Misty is the first kitty on the list for Q2 for the Silver Lining
    Memorial.  He will be remembered with a gift that will help other
    animals.
    
    My mom is the best at "pushing my buttons".  No one can get to me
    the way she can.  Guess that's the way it is with moms.  I suspect
    your mother is feeling a little guilty herself because of your
    past warnings to get Misty vacinated and she's trying to send some
    of that your way.  We all do what we think is best at the time.  
    I'm sure Misty knew you loved him.
    
    Personally, I find that it takes too much energy to bear grudges.  I
    hope you and your mother can find a comfortable place.  If so, then
    maybe that will be the "silver lining" of this cloud.
    
    Take care.
      Nancy DC

    Arlene-
    
    I'm so sorry to hear about misty.
    
    Michele (& nippa)

    
    Arlene,
    
    So sorry to hear about Misty.  Sending big gentle hugs from New
    Hampshire.  
    
    Feline Sad,
    
    Sue & Panther & Spot
    

    Arlene,
    
    We're very sorry to hear about Misty.
    
    I know how you feel about not saying goodbye.  While I was in the
    military, my parents took care of my cat, Tigger.  Whenever I went home
    on leave, he was always near me.  When it was time for me to go back,
    he climbed into my suitcase as to say, "I want to go with you."
    
    During a long-distance phone conversation with my parents, I asked how
    Tigger was doing.  They said he has been missing for a week.  They
    looked for him all over and put an ad in the newspaper but no luck.  We
    all want to believe he is still alive... Never got to say goodbye to a
    long-time friend.  We had him since he was 6 weeks old.  He was about
    12 years old when he disappeared.
    
    Good friends always remain in your heart.
    
    Hugs from Karen, Fluffy, and recently passed away Lightning
    
    

    Arlene,
    I too, am sorry.  My first reaction would be to let your mother know
    that it was her negligience that allowed the illness to occur.  
    
    But NDC is right, don't spend time thnking about the anger, remember
    the little kitty with happy thoughts.  Perhaps if you don't blame your
    mother, she might realize this and things could get just a little bit
    better.  Mom's are like that, yah, they are.
    
    love to you
    Karen, Ruby, Stinky, Wing
    

    You have my every sympathy.  I have lost three cats in the last 12
    months.  Two were old and ended their lives naturally, but Flea just
    wasn't there one morning and I haven't seen her since.  I won't bore
    you with what I have done to try and find her (everything but a
    psychics, and I do that if I knew of a real one) but I cry every day
    for that little kitty.  
    
    I am also thankful that, if my mother were still alive, she would be
    the one who would know just what I was feeling and would be my support.
    My daughter has been wonderful, listening to me go on and on, and
    crying with me.  
    
    I to feel guilty--if I had only taken real notice of the dog
    prints around the cat window, left the garage door open at the bottom, and
    many other things that may not have made any difference in the end.  I
    can't help blaming the dogs next door as I think one of them killed
    her, but it could have easily been one of the coyotes that live in the
    Groton, MA, area.   All I know is that I will never see that little
    face again.
    
    When we give our hearts we must expect them broken from time to time,
    that's what proves we are alive.
    
    Fellow cat lover
    

    Please don't be too hard on yourself.  This vaccine is NOT a cure-all
    for Leukemia.
    
    I can't help adding my sympathies. But, I must also add, that even if
    cats are vaccinated for Feline Leukemia, chances are that it's still
    possible for a cat to come down with the disease because the 
    vaccination is 80% effective at most.  Whether or not some 
    effectivity helps protect an animal or not is still to be determined.
    I think that over the past few years that the vaccine has been 
    available, all the cats that have been vaccinated were participating
    in a Field Test for this product.  Some changes have been made, like
    reducing the number of shots from 3 to 2, I believe.  Some of the
    side effects have been diminished, etc.  I do not think that the
    effectiveness has increased (correct me if this is incorrect), nor
    have I heard of any studies lately that have published an increased
    effectivity.

      Re .16
      You are so right. I lost a cat that had tested NEGATIVE and WAS
    immunized every year faithfully, and was so upset about it that I
    called Tufts and talked to the head Vet at the teaching hospital for
    over an hour about it. He said that it is effective in only aobut 80%
    of cats, but you cannot tell unless the cat gets the damned disease
    whetrher the vaccine was NOT effective. We currently have 5 cats, and
    two of them test POSITIVE every year. We have given all 5 the
    immunizations, since in a FEW cases the immunization seems to trigger
    the cat's natural immune system and the vaccine then works. We think
    our two are only carriers though, and the other three have effectively
    taken the vaccine and it works. We've had them for over three years
    now, and they all live together and all are very healthy. 
    
      The one that died had never been in contact with another cat...she
    was our first cat and was found still wet from her mother--abandoned at
    birth. We raised her on a teensy bottle, and she used to love to suck
    on my eyelids and earlobes as a substitute mommy. The Tufts doctor
    thinks that she may have had the damned disease in her bone-marrow,
    where it would be undetectable in the test, but could and probably did
    migrate into her blood where it killed her. 
    
      He went on to explain that there is a lot they simply don't
    understand about this awful disease, but they are working hard to find
    out all they can and someday hopefully come up with a cure for it. 
    
    
       I also know aobut the Mom thing... Moms can be very frustrating
    people...and they sometimes don't realize how much we love them and
    hate the things that they do to hurt us, but I don't think they even
    realize what they do to us sometimes...
    
    Hang in there...
     John McD
    
    

    I just had a chance to access this file for the first time in several
    days.  I want to thank all of you for your kindness and support. 
    Misty's picture is hanging in my office along with all of my other
    kitty pictures.  I look at him and just can't help remembering the good
    times.  Right from the day that I saw these awful people tossing him
    from their car on the Kangangus Highway 9 years ago.  I stopped my car,
    jumped out and ran into the street to rescue him.  He ran right into my
    arms!!  He cried when I picked him up and started to purr like crazy. 
    So started the beginning of a wonderful and meaningful friendship.  Now
    I have 4 kitties and a husband and my little Misty is gone.  But you
    are all correct when you say that a good friend always remains in our
    hearts.  I will never forget Misty.  I will always love him.
    
    Thanks everyone.
    
    Arlene, Jackie, Marvin, Tigress and Tammi

    
    	I am so sorry to hear about Misty.
    
    	Kirk