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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO
Created:Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5089
Total number of notes:60366

3419.0. "Jealous of the new baby" by FENNEL::MACDONALD_K () Tue Mar 13 1990 13:42

    Hi Everyone,
    
    I've used keywords, but haven't found anything to do with jealousy,
    but moderators, please feel free to move this if necessary.  I haven't
    been in this conference for eons and it's certainly grown!
    
    Anyway...  I'd like suggestions/advice from any of you who may have
    experienced something like this before.  I had a baby 5 months ago
    much to the dismay of Florence and The Cowboy (mother and son ages
    12 and 13).  Florence is more or less a go-with-the-flow type cat,
    but The Cowboy has become very jealous of the baby and is acting
    out by fighting with Florence (he's definately the instigator) and
    ripping the sofa and loveseat to shreds.  He's always been a problem
    with clawing the furniture, but it's gotten *really* bad since my
    daughter entered the picture.  I've tried everything to get him to
    stop (e.g. scratching posts, clipping nails, smelly spray stuff,
    squirt gun) and nothing works.  I'm trying to give him extra attention
    (especially when the baby is around) but he's definately a "changed"
    cat.  Will he ever accept her?  Florence seems to have done well,
    but then she never really despised the baby to begin with.
    
    Also...  about declawing alternatives:  A friend of mine has told me
    that there's a new procedure out there where the vet will cut the
    claws very short and glue a little tiny bead to the end so they
    can't scratch furniture.  It's something that supposedly lasts about
    3 months before it has to be done again, is fairly inexpensive, and
    above all, a much better alternative to declawing.  Anybody hear
    about this or had it done?  I'm very curious and would like to learn
    more.
    
    Thanks,
    Kathryn
    
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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3419.1CIRCUS::KOLLINGKaren/Sweetie/Holly/Little Bit Ca.Thu Mar 15 1990 15:505
    My guess would be at at only five months, you still have a huge
    amount of your time and attention centered on the baby, and
    The Cowboy senses that.  (little egomaniacs!)  I expect things will
    calm down later.
    
3419.2MIVC::MTAGWed Mar 21 1990 12:2424
    I read a story somewhere last Summer/Fall in a magazine about a woman
    who had a cat, then a baby.  The woman in the article experience
    similar problems as you, except she only had one cat.  Anyway, after
    months went by, there was a terrible thunderstorm one night and she
    lost electricity.  Her child was in the playpen in a room while she was
    looking for flashlights, candles, etc.  When she returned to her baby,
    the cat was curled up with him/her as if comforting the baby during the
    storm.  They finally accepted each other and it was as if the cat
    understood what was going on with the baby during the storm.  Seems
    years earlier the woman had adopted her cat during a wild storm and now
    the cat was returning the favor by comforting the baby.
    
    I am expecting my first in late May and have 3 cats.  I have wondered
    about how the cats will accept my baby, particularly Benjamin. 
    However, somehow, Ben *knows* about the baby (I think even before I
    did) - he used to "tabby stomp" my stomach before I started to get big,
    and now he lies across my stomach and purrs, as if talking to the baby
    (who gives him a swift kick).  I think somehow, hopefully, the
    acceptance process has already begun and if not, it may take some time. 
    But, I'm sure eventually the cats and baby will learn to be "friends"
    or at least tollerant of each other.
    
    Mary
    
3419.3NUTMEG::MACDONALD_KWed Mar 21 1990 15:3222
    Mary,
    What a nice story that was!  I don't think The Cowboy could ever
    be like that, though.  He's always been "my baby" before Allyson
    came along and he'll probably only be tolerant of her, at best.
    Congratulations, by the way, on your upcoming baby.  I'm sure
    everything will work out O.K.  The fact that Benjamin purrs to
    your belly is a good sign, I think.  Florence and The Cowboy
    seemed to sense that there was "something strange growing in there"
    when I was pregnant and avoided my belly completely.  The Cowboy
    was used to laying on my stomach at night while watching T.V.
    but stopped (without my prodding) as soon as I started to show.
    He just *knew* something was up and he didn't like it at all.
    
    Anyway, thanks for the vote of confidence.  Hopefully he'll adjust.
    One thing the baby has taught him, though:  "If you cry, you'll
    get fed."  Yesterday, at 4:30 am he stood in the doorway of her
    room and whined so my husband and I would hear him on the nursery
    monitor.  If we don't get up and feed him when *he* wants it, we
    have no peace.  What a little pain!  He even woke up the baby.
    
    - Kathryn