Conference misery::feline_v1

    Good Grief Mike!  You're title gave me heart failure!!
    
    Hey I didn't know that exotics knew how to teleport themselves!
    That explains why it seems that there are three Flames!  especially
    when food is involved!
    

    	Well.....maybe not quite 800, but they seem to be everywhere
    at once! How they do it is beyond me. I've seen them fast asleep
    and I'll tip toe out to the kitchen for a snack and they'll beat
    me there! Having two cats is 800 times the fun!
    	Wait a minute here. Didn't I read in here some where that the
    husband never knows just how many cats there really are?? DIANE!!!!
    I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!
    
    Mike ;-)

    Boy, did this note make me laugh!!  Sometimes I swear I bought 800
    Ragdolls given the way Kelsey and Kirby follow me around -- and
    miraculously *appear* when I *know* they were all the way up on
    the third floor sleeping and I'm on my way down to the basement
    to do laundry, and.... Oh my God, there they are!  Right in front
    of me no less!!  And they arrived *before* I did!!
                             
    What really amazes me is that Kelsey will be upstairs snoozing and
    I'll go down to the kitchen and very quietly open the cabinet to
    get a glass for a soda.  All of a sudden, I'll turn around and there's
    Kelsey, on the counter, looking at me with those "give me something
    to eat" eyes staring in my face.
    
    It's enough to drive a person crazy!!
    
    
    

    	Ah, just to make sure that everyone understands, this is in
    jest. I do not have 800 cats. It just seems that way. I don't want
    to mis-lead anyone here. See I just have two, Kai the white here
    on my left and Blackie here on my right and this other white one,
    no, no not again! NOW HEAR THIS:: ALL CATS STAND STILL AND BE COUNTED!
    
    Mike :-)

    I couldn't stop laughing!!!  Mike, imagine what it's like with 10 of
    them around....
    
    or is that 12 or 14......
    
    
    

    Well, Mike and Dianne, it must run in the Cattyshack family.  I
    sometimes wonder how Lily can get from standing at my feet in one
    room, to the other end of the house 5 minutes before I get there,
    but she is always there.  She moves faster than the speed of 
    cat hair!  I call her the brown bullet.  And, the funny part is
    that she has NO LEGS !  She just puts her ears back, and is like
    a projectile, catapualting through the air!  Wonder if I can
    bottle it ????
    
    E.T.

    Mike,
    love that title!  Yes, at times my 4 multiply into 400, especially
    when the dinner canopener sings.  But if I really want a headcount,
    all I have to do is sit on the couch WITH FOOD!
    Unless its B.K., than all my husband has to do is walk down the
    hall, even remotely towards the bedroom.  ZOOOOOM!  He's there and 
    waiting without having once touched ground. 
    Or try going down to the basement to do laundry....Watch Your Feet! 
    Many a check shows nothing on the stairs until I start down. I feel
    something darting by or half step on a cat.  All four are suddenly 
    in need of the litterboxes or the dry food in the bowl.  Head back 
    up the stairs, and everyone is now sitting at the top, waiting to 
    make sure you are REALLY coming up.
                  
    They are fun!
    
    L- & the gang
                                                                
    

    Mike,  
    
    
    I loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    I really enjoyed reading this note and the replies as well.  I haven't
    laughed that much since I read *Bandit's Latest Antics*.
    
    I once thought Bunnies were the only animals that multiplied so fast.
    Since becoming owned by cats, I also have learned otherwise.
    
    Thank you for making my day a *lot brighter*.
    
    Sandi, mom to Thunder, Lightning, Storm (woof), DejaVu & Patches the
    Stray
    
    

    	Thanks for the replys. But, we are back to our first two kitties.
    It was easy to do, just yell out, "bath time"! and all 798 cats
    left at the same time leaving Kai and Blackie to battle the bubbles.
    Diane and myself have learned many new things about giving these
    guys baths. Why we can:
    		1) use less than 50 gallons of warm water.
    		2) we've cut the time in half it takes to catch them
    		   from 1 hour to 30 mins.
		3) only mop the floor once instead of three times.
    		4) use only 27 towels for BOTH of them. (not bad heh?)
    		5) experts at CPR.
    Remember, we are new at this and I'm sure we can get the towel count
    down even more! Give us time.
    
    Mike

    Mike, 
    
    I bet that 26 of those towels are for Blackie!!!  ;-)
    
    cin...who got to cuddle these two cuties last night!
    

RE:  700+ cats....

actually, you think you have so many cats because your cats can teleport
themselves to any location at which a human is attempting to do anything...
instantly!  Hannah is often a "400 cat" number all by herself...just ask
my roommate, Marge, who insists on trying to do projects around the
house on Saturday when I traditionally do my shopping, etc.  You see,
if I'm home Hannah "helps" me....when I'm gone, Hannah supervises Marge
at her work...with a running commentary about sloppy work habits, etc.    
(the siamese in Hannah talks alot....the "Morris" in Hannah makes it
VERY sarcastic talk)...


		D-and-Hannah-the-red-lynx-point-critic

    Oh no!  Does that mean I have more than a thousand cats??
    Lets see, if two equals 800 then 5 eqauls....2000!!!!!
    
    Yea, that's about right.
    
    What's even more confusing around here is that two of the cats are
    solid black(except for little tufts of white on both bellies).
    This makes it difficult to tell one from the other, especially when
    they go whizzing by at the speed of sound.  Sable? no, Jasper??
    no, Sable?  whoever you are, get off the counter!!!
    
    And yes, they do all show up when the cans get open--which is real
    strange because we use a manual can opener, it doesn't make much
    noise, but they somehow hear it.  What's real funny is when you're
    opening cans for yourself and they come flying into the kitchen,
    even though they've just been fed!  One time we were making a big
    pot of spagetti sauce and were opening many cans of tomatoes, tomato
    paste, etc.  The girls all gathered around our feet begging for
    some food.  No matter that we tried to explain to them that they
    reeeaaallly wouldn't like it, they still wound their way around
    our legs and in general made a nusciance of themselves.  I finally
    stuck a can of tomato down at them and said, "See, it's people food
    that I *know* you won't like."  Duchess runs over (quickest she
    moves all day) and sticks her nose in the can.  YUUUUCCHHH!!!
    She looks up at me as if to say--you actually eat this stuff??
    I guess she "told" the rest of the crew, cause soon after the crowd
    of 2000 dissipated to their favorite nap places.
    
    Another place that they tend to gather, is the bathroom in the early
    morning.  It wouldn't have anything to do with the quartz heater
    that goes on first thing on these "chilly" (read D**N cold) mornings
    now, would it????  I'm used to 1 or 2 of the little darlings joining
    me for my morning shower (which means only 800 of them arguing over
    the bath mat in front of the heater), but one morning recently,
    I had 4 of them in there!  "Now come on, girls!  There's six other
    rooms in this house, why do you have to all be in this one!!"
    Probably because we love you sooo much, mommy!
    
    Oh, and I suppose that this being the warmest room in the house
    has nothing what-so-ever to do with it!
    
    Oh no, mommy, we just love to keep you company!!
    
    
    No wonder that they use the little buggers in all those commercials,
    they're perfect saleskitties!
    
    Oh well, I love them all anyway(most of the time)
    
    Debbi and the thudering herd