Conference misery::feline_v1

        It's ok to be jealous.  But they are creatures of habit.  We
    just recently moved from a one floor apartment to a 3 level house,
    and this is our situation.  My daughter has the finished off cellar
    as her little palace.  Jasper also considers it his room too, because
    all his toys are there, he loves the couch to sleep on, and he spends
    the day there when we're not home.  My mother has the first floor
    to herself, and I have the upper level to myself.  So, Jasper USES
    all three of us!!  "Gram" is the first one up in the morning so
    she gives him breakfast.  My daughter is the first one home in the
    afternoon, so she feeds him "lunch".  And, I'm the one that has
    taken to giving him "dinner" before we all go to bed.  So, in the
    morning he only goes to Gram, in the afternoon there's no choice,
    and at night, he only comes and does his "cute" antics for me. 
    Before we moved, he used to sleep with me EVERY night and before
    lights out, he would get a nightly face scrub.  Now he comes to
    sleep with me on occasion--and always when my daughter is away!!
    But, everyday he leaves me a STINKY gift in the litter box that
    I keep for him on my level.  So.....I've been rather jealous that
    he only comes to me when he WANTS something, or needs to LEAVE some-
    thing!!  
    
    Even though your cats are YOUR cats, they will USE whomever satisfies
    their needs.  It's convenient that my guy has taken to my daughter's
    room as HIS, but I would like him to spend more time with me.  I
    haven't found a way to change this situation, and may just have
    to learn to live with it.  But, if you want to be the one feeding
    your cats, have your roommate just not feed them.  They will learn
    to wait for you.  But, it sure is hard to resist these little critters.
    

    Karen,
    
    Have no fear.  T.K. and Bandit will always love you as their mom.
    
    My daughter had to leave Star with me for about 6 months.  In all
    that time, I was the one that fed Star both morning and evening.
    I was the one that TRIED to spend time with Star.  I was the one
    that talked to her each day.  My daughter was there about 2 hours
    total each week.
    
    In all this time, Star never lost her love for my daughter and treated
    me with a combination of disdain and mere tolerance.
    
    Star, of course, is back with my daughter and is extremely happy
    and fat.
    
    Hang in there,
    
    Sandi (Lightning, DejaVu & Thunder's mom)(and Star's grandmom)
    
    

    I'd guess cats consider whoever provides the food and love to be the
    "designated Mom".  Since Jane has been feeding them, and from your
    last note, it seems you've been so busy with exams, maybe they've
    decided she's the Mom du Jour.  They don't know who 'owns' them;
    they only know who feeds them!!
    
    Honey will always go to another woman who's in the house and act
    like I never feed him.  He'll prefer her lap to mine (he's afraid
    of men, and will only warm up to another woman) and will snear
    at me to let me know that I don't own him at all!

    After all, they've got their priorities!
    
    Mary

    Old saying:
    
    	A dog will remember three days' kindness for three years;
    	A cat will forget three years' kindness in three days.

                                                
    Cats prefer a take/take relationship to a give/take relationship.
    Even though you may think you're their mom; you're not!  You are
    the "giver" of food, playtime, a warm lap, or whatever else they
    might need.
    
    So, if you want to be the Mom, you have to be the regular giver
    of something they obviously want to take.

    re: .4
    
    I'm sorry to hear you say that.  I would hardly characterize the
    relationship we have with our cats as all take on their part. They
    sure give alot to us!
    
    re: feeding - I am pretty much the primary feeder in our house.
    I go downstairs first to make coffee and feed our furry foursome
    and I'm usually home before Jack and feed them in the evening.
    However, make NO mistake.  Isis is Jack's cat.  When he shows up
    she talks to him, she runs to the diningroom rug and rolls over
    and over and talks to him.  She jumps up to be picked up so she
    can "hug" him and stand on his shoulders.  Doesn't matter to her
    who feeds her - she's affectionate to me and runs to greet me too
    but the interaction she has with Jack is extra special and has
    nothing to do with who feeds her.
      We have special unique things that we share with each cat.  Different
    activities with different cats.  I think those things are just as
    important to them as the food.  Try to find some special activities
    to share with your too.
      Nancy DC
    

    when I lived in an appartment w/ nippa and 3 roomates, I specificly
    stated I was the one to feed Nippa, unless otherwise arranged. 
    I felt that if different people feed at different times, amounts
    whatever, she might not get a meal, gett too much, or get the wrong
    thing.  This way I can control the time, amount and type of food
    give.  Now, I live at home and I am still the primary feeder.  My mom
    might give her a bonker or a taste of milk to tie her over till I
    get down to feed her.  She really doesn't bother anyone for food
    anymore, except me. 
                           
    so, if she bothers your roomie in the a.m., maybe you could ask
    her not to feed her breakfast, but a small snack instead.
    
    

    
    Re: .6
    
    As far as the snack goes, she used to feed them tuna juice and
    since I'm trying to control Bandits weight, that wasn't such a
    great idea.  To top it off, they now think that everytime they
    hear a can open, there might be something in it for them!  I feed
    them dried food, not food from a can, but somehow they think
    the sound of a can opener means food!
    
    Re: .5 or .4
    
    I don't think they think she is Mom Du Jour.  I still give them
    more attention than she does.  She is generally in her room with
    the door shut and if any cat is let in, its Cinamon.  They all
    sleep with me at night, and I'm the lap that is available in the
    living room.  
                  
    I don't mind her feeding them since I really can't expect her to
    trip over them whenever she is in the kitchen.  I just got a bit
    paranoid since they never ask me for food anymore.
    
    Karen

    "...sound of a can opener means food."
    
    Of course it does! All cats know that. It's genetic.
    
    Edd

    re .7 and tunafish juice
      As long as its not the type that's packed in oil, the juice is
    quite low in calories.  The only problem could be the salt content.
    It salt isn't a problem then it makes a GREAT treat.   If I was
    still eating tuna I'd give the juice to my gang.  (I stopped eating
    tuna when I learned that the tuna fishers were killing large numbers
    of dolphins!)
      Nancy DC
    

    I am the primary feeder of our 3 girls even tho technically only
    one of them is mine.
    
    Recently, on two occasions, my fiance volunteered to feed them so
    that I could sleep a little later.  The first time, they all happened
    to be on the bed with me waiting for me to get up.  Bruce stood
    in the doorway and called and called and they just stared at him.
    
    So, I got up and walked to the door.  Vroom--off the bed they were
    like a shot!  (As they thundered down the stairs, I closed the door
    and went back to bed.)
    
    The next time, they were all sitting on the floor while he was calling
    them.  This time they did not even look at him--when I opened my
    eyes, they were all staring at me like "Weeeellll...aren't you getting
    up?"
    
    Other than mealtime, they pretty much follow me around the house
    since I constantly talk to them and give hugs.  However, they also
    will snuggle in either Bruce's lap or his daughter's especially
    if I'm not there.  I'd have to say that I've got the edge for
    their affections, tho.
    
    (Neither Bruce nor Laurel get jealous though since neither of
    them particularly liked cats until we got ours.  Bruce has become
    a cat lover but not a fanatic like me!)
    
    Barbara