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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO
Created:Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5089
Total number of notes:60366

2030.0. "HELP! TJ hates the new kitty!" by WILKIE::FELDMAN () Mon Dec 05 1988 11:01

    Thanks to everyone who responded to #2014 in looking for that special
    kitty.  I'm happy to let you know that I found her!  She's exactly
    what I was looking for - very mellow, affectionate, CUDDLY!  (BTW,
    I did check out the kitten in #2006 - even drove 1 1/2 hours to
    see her! - but unfortunately it didn't work out.)
    
    I brought Tasha home last night and she seems to be settling in
    well; however, I STILL really need some advice on introducing her
    to TJ.  He is LESS THAN THRILLED with the situation.  They "met"
    last night down in the basement and basically squared off hissing
    at each other.  I separated them quickly - I'm being a real wimp
    about this.  
    
    Right now Tasha is locked up in my bedroom - TJ spends a lot of
    time sitting about 5 feet from the door and growling.  He's also
    incredibly ticked off at me and really won't let me go near him.
    
    So how do I do this?  Do I just keep them separated for several
    days and let them spend small amounts of time together at night?
    Someone suggested that I just let Tasha out and let them work
    it out, but the idea of doing that frightens me - I wouldn't know
    what to do if they really went at each other.  Any words of wisdom
    that you more experienced noters can share would be greatly 
    appreciated.....
    
    Thanks!
    
    Lauren
    
          
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2030.1New cat adjustment!FDCV16::JOHNSONMon Dec 05 1988 11:1416
    Lauren - when I brought home my 9 wk. old the 5 yr. old
    hissed, growled and spit.  She still hisses when she doesn't
    want to be bothered.  The new one is a little brat and now
    he does all the chasing and aggitating.  They will not kill
    each other.  I just left them alone in the house and went to
    work.  They eat out of the same dish together and one sleeps
    in front of me and the other behind me at night.  Don't get
    me wrong ..... it's not easy for them to adjust BUT THEY WILL.
    I was afraid the oldest would hurt the baby but the shoe is
    on the other foot ... the baby is the hellun.
    
    They can't get along with each other until they can get close
    enough to smell each other.  They will adjust!!
    
    BJ
    
2030.2Let them have their spats...HPSCAD::KNEWTONThis Space For RentMon Dec 05 1988 12:0215
    I agree with .1.  Snuggles was almost 2 years old when I brought
    home Tigger.  (This was a month after moving to a new house and
    after trying to bring a dog into the house, which didn't work out.)
    Needless to say, Snuggles was extremely upset.  I got so bad that
    I was afraid to even go near Snuggles.  He hissed, growled and even
    batted at me when I tried to break them up.  I just tryed to keep
    the kitten out of Snuggles way.  I didn't actually close the kitten
    in a separate room.  It took about 3 weeks for Snuggles to adjust.
    I think closing them off from one another prolongs it.  Now they
    just play fight.  Every once in a while though I do have to break
    it up because one of them gets too rough.
    
    Just hang in there.  It'll work out.
    
    Kathy
2030.3ALL YOU NEED IS TIME!LDP::CORCORANMon Dec 05 1988 15:0614
    
    As mentioned before.....just let them hack it out.  They need to
    be together before they're going to accept eachother.
                                         
    I still think they're young enough for it to work, it's just going
    to take some time.
    
    Good luck and keep us posted!
    
    Barbara - Ebony & Ivory's mom who went through this a while back
    	      and now all's OK 
    
    
    
2030.4Try this!CGOO01::PEDERSENMon Dec 05 1988 15:1146
    Hi Lauren.  I am the new person to this conference (See 2.256).
    
    I own two cats, my female is 3 and my male is 1 1/2 years of age.
     Both are altered.  I also do voluntee work at the local SPCA when
    I get a great deal of exposure to this situation.
    
    When I broght home my male there was not much
    hissing (he was four weeks old) however, in another situation I
    have been involved in..here is how goes. 
    
    Naturally your cats will develop a pecking order visa via a scrap
    or just a stare down.  Let them be together for limited amounts
    of time together.  Put them in a room that is fairly large but that
    does not have a lot of furniture to hide under..because this may
    develope the tendaciy for one cat to dominate the other severely.
     Let them stare and each other and growl.  Do not attempt to pick
    either up at this time...they could tear your eyes out...they forget
    who you are.  Go about your business and ignore them.
    
    After perhaps an hour  or depending on progress, separate them..so
    they don't get real cranky.  Then separately hug them and love them
    so they think that everything is cool and there is no need to feel
    jealous.  
    
    Feed them in the same room, not out of the same bowel, that may
    sometimes cause a great deal of problems..again one will be dominate
    and push the other out.
    
    Just remember to cuddle them both and let your life carry on...don;'t
    favour one to the other...they know.  If you feel more comfortable to
    separate them during the working day...great just remember to leave
    them food and toys so they do not associate this with a punishment.
     Some cats are just like that...that they have to be separated.
     They are just like people..not everybody gets along.  Just work
    with the individual personalities.
    
    As time goes on you will know when the time is right to leave them
    together and carry on as usual.  Just make sure that they don't
    start acting stupid and dragging it out for months.  There is no
    need for that.  If they do don't be afraid to be firm and
    verbally step in.
    
    Hope this helps!  Anymore questions,,,just ask.
    
    Shelley
      
2030.5WITNES::MACONEIt's the story of a man named BradyMon Dec 05 1988 15:457
    The suggestion that helped me best was to have a box or something
    for the kitten to hide in need be that the big cats can't get into.
     We took a stereo speaker box, taped it all closed, and then cut
    a small hole in one end that was just big enough for the kitten
    to get into.
    
    It sure made me feel alot better during those first couple days.
2030.6Cloud & Norman not mixing eitherSAGE::PRIESTLEYPriestley DTN 264-0128Tue Dec 06 1988 10:1132
    Well, my newest has arrived! Cloud arrived last night and the fur
    flew! The cats never actually touched each other, but everytime
    I went near on of them they scratched and hissed at me. I'm the
    only one of us with battle scars today!
    
    I have decided to introduce them very slowly. My cats all have the
    tendency to be a little bit ferocious--even Cloud. Everytime Norman
    decided to go near Cloud's food or litter, Cloud went running and
    hissing at Norman.
    
    Norman was furious at me this morning. He wouldn't even come near
    me. He just walked away whenever I got close. Fluffy has been through
    the new cat in the household thing--when I brought Norman into the
    family last April--and seems to be taking it a little more in stride.
    I guess it just doesn't make that much sense to me that Norman,
    who recently went through being the new member, isn't taking it
    a little better. 
    
    It is pretty funny though to see this little kitten causing the
    two huge cats to cower and hiss!
    
    On the lighter side, Cloud is beautiful--and a real lap cat. She
    sat down on my lap during Rudolph last night and took a little nap.
    She purred very loudly, and was not afraid of me at all. She came
    when I called her (out from underneath the couch) and climbed right
    up into my lap. He meow is also a riot. She sounds like she has
    laryngitis (sp?) it's such a raspy little cry!
    
    She's beautiful though. I just wish cats could instantly like each
    other so that I could play with all of them at once. 
    
    Michelle
2030.7Together at last......MAMIE::FELDMANTue Dec 06 1988 11:4030
    Well, I did it!  I let the two of them "get to know each other"
    last night - with some interesting results...
    
    First of all, TJ talks a good fight, but that's about all!  Whenever
    they saw each other, they would crouch about 5 feet from each other
    and stare.  Well, TJ would crouch and growl and Tasha would just
    sit there doing her own thing.  Eventually, she'd get bored and
    just walk away, at which point TJ would go bounding after her, block
    her path and start his crouch/growl routine again.  This went on
    for hours with TJ getting a little closer and more daring each time.
    Finally, Tasha jumped up on my bed, TJ followed her and batted at
    her tail a little.  She calmly looked at him and hissed - TJ was
    so startled that he fell off the bed backward!
    
    Since then, they've been playing this chase/swatting game with TJ
    as the aggressor.  And although they're both still a little edgy
    (TJ still growls a little), their activities seem to have taken
    on a more playful tone.  Whew!
    
    The only thing that bothers me now is that I get the feeling that
    Tasha is going to be the dominant one (in her own quiet way).  TJ
    seems to be the tough guy only until you call his bluff.  I don't
    know, I guess I'd be bummed if someone new came into my house and 
    I found myself second in the pecking order....but hey, that's life, 
    right?!
    
    Thanks for all your help!
    
    Lauren
    
2030.8Make TJ feel loved at ALL COSTS!MDA::NEWSTEDTue Dec 06 1988 15:1512
    
     Plan on some hissing for a while. TJ's territory is threatened
     bigtime, you may notice a major change in TJ's personality
     and rightfully so! He feels he's being ousted! Take my advise
      It may sound hard but try not to give the kitten the attention
     you want to in front of TJ. That was my mistake, and six months
     after Pippin arrived, I was feeling I changed the older cat 
      ( Yaddie, 2 yrs ) personality. She's just now slowly inching
      out of it, but she'll never be the same as she was.
    
     n                                                            
    
2030.9Personality changes are a bummer...HPSCAD::KNEWTONThis Space For RentTue Dec 06 1988 16:459
    I agree with .8.  Snuggles changed big-time after getting Tigger.
    It's taken 6 months for Snuggles to even want to sit on my lap.
    His personality has changed a great deal.  It's a real bummer, too.
    
    Tigger's getting neutered today.  It should be fun at our house
    tonight when I bring home.  I just hope Tigger becomes more of a
    lap cat.
    
    Kathy
2030.10personalities changingSAGE::PRIESTLEYPriestley DTN 264-0128Tue Dec 06 1988 16:5816
    After I brought Norman into the house, we had a few personality
    changes too, but they were for the better. Norman had been an indoor
    cat, and used to having a lot of attention. He was also extremely
    lovable. It "rubbed off" on Taffy and Fluffy. They suddenly became
    much less aloof and more friendly. Taffy had always hated being
    cuddled, but after Norman came it was as if she and Fluffy realized
    that they could have the attention if they wanted it.
    
    They also started to Meow when Norman came, which neither of them
    had ever done unless they were in pain. Now Fluffy Meows all the
    time (and Norman meows even more)
    
    I wonder if Norman's personality will change with a new kitty around
    now. Hmmmm.
    
    Michelle
2030.11But not a change for the betterWITNES::MACONEIt's the story of a man named BradyWed Dec 07 1988 07:504
    Portia's personality also changed after I brought Elmo home.  Now
    she's even bitchier, snootier and bossier than before.
    
    	-Nancy
2030.12MRESS::FEASEAndrea Midtmoen FeaseWed Dec 07 1988 07:5211
         We had personality changes too.  My husband's two cats became
    indoor cats (not by their choice, but by ours); Bigfoot adjusted
    well, Fluffy, not so well.  The interesting thing was Loki, though;
    Loki was king of the roost, so to speak, when my husband and his
    cats moved in.  Now Loki's at the bottom of the pecking order (sniff)
    with Bigfoot in the middle and crazy Fluffy on top.  Loki gets miffed
    at times, understandably, but usually he gets bullied around by
    the others and runs when they go near him.  It's too bad, wish there
    was something I could do, but I guess not.  Poor Loki!
    
                                       - Andrea