Conference misery::feline_v1

    So far as I can tell, cats have selective hearing second only to
    children.  Ours can hear a can opener from where you can't even
    hear the garage door opener!
    
    Gary

    I can also identify. Anytime they hear the can opener six
    cats come running to the kitchen. Just yesterday I wanted to 
    open a can of peaches and resorted to the hand opener because
    I didn't want to go thru having all of them thinking it was
    treat time.
    
    But in my house we have still another case of acute hearing - my
    daughter's guinea pig knows when the refrigerator door opens and
    starts in squeeking for a carrot and won't be quiet until he gets
    one.                 
                     
    I am so well trained!

    "Husband" cat and "wife" cat, sitting in front of desk. Desk belongs
    to a "marriage counselor" cat, who is sitting back, looking at
    the couple. Caption under the cartoon reads:
    
    	Everything was fine until he coughed up that blonde hairball."
    
    Marleen + 5

    
    
                                 HA!!

    That's cute !!

    That's GREAT!
    
    Here's one I have.
    
    A man sitting in a "waiting room", his clothes all torn to shredds.
    Vet coming into room, his clothes all torn to shredds.  
    
    Caption:  "Mr. Whitherspoon, I think we should have a little talk
    about your cat."
                                                        
    
    Holly
    

    Here are some current cat-toons that I have hanging outside my office:
    
    1. Two lions chasing furiously after a galloping antelope.
    One says to the other: "I'm a sucker for fast food!"      
                                                              
    2. Two women sitting on a couch having tea.  In the foreground,
    a very determine and angry cat is holding a carpenter's hand-drill and
    is drilling holes all over a table.  One woman is saying to the other:
    "We had her declawed, but she's still impossible."        
                                                              
    3. A cat sharpening her claws on a nice overstuffed chair.  The
    "thought bubble" over her head reads: "I scratch therefore I am."
     What is the comic entitled?  You've got it.  Cat Existentialism.
                                                              
    Anne                                                      
                                                              
                                                              

           
    
    
    re; .3 "Blonde hairballs" --- I'm still laughing....ha ha
                                 
    Barbara
    

    Here are 2 from the comic strip Shoe a few years ago.
    
    Box 1:
    
    Editor: Hello, Fire department? This is an emergency!!
            There's a cat stuck in my tree!!
    
    Box 2:
    
    Fireman: Since when is a cat in a tree an emergency?
    
    Box 3:
    
    Editor: (With very big eyes, looking at a cat in front of his desk.)
            When it's licking its chops!!
    

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Box 1: Editor sitting at his desk
    
    Editor to Professor: Here's another letter from a cat owner blasting
                         my courageous anti-cat editorials...
    
    Box 2: Close up editor at his desk
    
    Editor to Professor: I don't know why cat owners never say anything
                         nasty about their cats...
    
    Box 3: Large cat behind Editor with a claw on the back of the Editor's
           chair. Editor has terrorized look on his face.
    
    Editor to Professor: TERROR?.... That's as good a reason as any.

    Here's one for you.  My mom sent me this one:
    
    A large cat is plastered to a picture window, looking out on this
    scene--two trucks have collided right outside his window.  One truck
    is for "Bob's Assorted Rodents", and the other one is "Al's Small,
    Flightless Birds".  And of course, while the two truckdrivers are
    arguing over insurance, the contents of both trucks are slowly
    creeping, crawling, and hopping away.  Inside the card, Mom had
    written "Feline Megabucks!!"
                                                                  
    Jane

    Two women sitting having tea in a posh living room.  There are cats
    everywhere... on the mantle, on the table, on the back of the chairs,
    laying on the floor, hanging from the chandelier.  The occupent
    of the house says to her guest " My first husband was a Cat Burglar".
    
    

    Not exactly a cartoon, but this is without a doubt the funniest
    thing I have ever seen involving a cat...
    
    I'm a photographer, and share this hobby with one of my good friends.
    Some years ago, the two of us stopped by a friend's house to spend
    the afternoon drinking beer, listening to music and shooting pool.
    This was in the late '70s, so picture Edd (and the others) with
    shoulder-length hair, beards, etc. Regular buncha a freaks...
    
    In the course of the afternoon, we decided we'd record this momentous
    event for posterity by shooting a few pix. So we set up a tripod
    and mounted a self timed camera. Since the room was fairly small,
    an extremely wide-angle lens (a fish-eye) was used. (For those
    of you unfamiliar with a fish-eye, it's the type of lens that makes
    peoples noses get real big when they get close to the camera. Know
    what I mean, Verne?) Very 'psychedelic', and befitting the occasion.
    
    Behind the coach we were sitting on was a large window with a metal
    awning above it. The timer was tripped, and as we all raised our
    beers in a toast, we heard the most horrible noise. BANG!! SCRIIIITCH!!
    *click*. We turned to look out the window, but saw nothing unusual.
    
    Only when the processed slides came back was the mystery solved.
    It seems that one of the host's cats had jumped out of a first floor
    window onto the awning (BANG!), and slid off (SCRIIIITCH!) just
    as the picture was being taken. In order to break it's fall, it
    grabbed the very edge of the awning with one paw and just hung there
    by one arm at the very instant of the exposure.
    
    Picture a bunch of freaks, beers raised high in a toast, oblivious
    to an acrobatic cat hanging by one arm outside the window. Now add
    the surreal distortion of the fisheye lens... VERY Dali!!!
    
    Edd

    
    That was a GREAT story!!!!!  I hope you had that picture framed
    for posterity....  :^>
    
    Katie