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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO
Created:Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5089
Total number of notes:60366

2015.0. "New mom, need help" by TEMPE1::PARKS () Wed Nov 30 1988 17:03

HELP!! 
Tsunami is my first cat and I don't know how to handle cat behavior.
I've always had dogs and find cats to be very confusing.

My problem is Tsunami's temper.  
When she is being mean what should I do?
Should I ignore her, baby her, or scold her?  

I try to do what she wants me to, but I think I did everything wrong 
last night(a little of all three).  
She ended up growling at me with her ears back.  This really upset me and
I hit her!  I'm ashamed of myself.  What should I do?
I don't want to be her enemy! 

Don't get me wrong, most of the time she's sweet.  That I can handle. 
She's sweet, I'm sweet, everything's OK.
She's mean, I'm confused, BIG FIGHT!

- Becky 
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2015.1Could you add more info?BIGSUR::GRAFTON_JIWed Nov 30 1988 17:3226
    Becky,
    
    Can you describe what happened so I know what you mean when you
    say Tsunami is being "mean"?  What did she want you to do?
    
    Usually when one of my cats gets into a snit (but I'm not going
    to mention Sammie's name ;-)), I put her down if I've been holding
    her or walk away from her.  I'm hoping that she will eventually
    realize that she gets more attention from me if she's pleasant
    around me and that if she's not, I don't care to share her "special"
    mood with her.
    
    If one of the cats is being downright destructive, I yell and grab
    the spray bottle.  If they continue, they get wet.  The water breaks
    up any and all activities very nicely.
    
    Don't take it too much to heart.  My Sammie is a love and but turns
    into a real cranky lady with little or no provocation and I just
    do my best to show her I love her, just as I'm sure you love Tsunami.
    
    Their (the cats') ways will become less mysterious as you grow to
    know one another.
    
    Jill
    
    
2015.2the whole storyTEMPE1::PARKSWed Nov 30 1988 17:5614
OK,  I'll give you the whole story.

I picked Nami up and she bit me, not hard but enough to make me mad.
I scolded her and put her down.
About 5 minutes later I picked her up again and she bit me again.  This
time when I scolded her is when she growled, etc. and I lost my temper.

She usually likes to be picked up.  I appreciate that she doesn't always
want to be held, but I don't want to have to tolerate biting.

This whole scene, by the way, was about ten minutes after she was purring
away on the couch snuggled next to me.

Becky 
2015.3do what works for youCGVAX2::WEISMAN_EWed Nov 30 1988 17:5617
    
    
    I Would not be too upset about hitting her.  Tasha Marie has
    a problem with being mean every once in a while.  Its usually
    when I try to pick her up and move her when she is not in the 
    mood.  I have tried being very nice about it and trying to calm her
    down, however that did not work, she usually ended up scratching
    me.  However I did find that a quick smack (very lightly of course
    and not enough to hurt her) is just the thing to make her snap out
    of it and say " I guess this is not the way to behave". It really
    has seemed to help better than anything else I tried.  I used to
    feel bad about it, but some cats need and want disipline.  Of
    course this does not apply to all cats.  I'm sure you will find
    the best method for you and your kitty in no time at all.
    
                                             Donna
    
2015.4Had the same problemSA1794::DOWSEYKWed Nov 30 1988 18:398
    I had a cat that was the most loving cat I ever saw. Once in a wihle
    when i would pick him up he would growl. Then one day he bit me!
    Not just a nip...a real BITE.
    
    To make a long story short, he had a very tender spot on his side.
    I learned to stay away from the sore spot, and had no more problem.
    
    Kirk
2015.5They forget quickly...usually...HILLST::MASONExplaining is not understandingThu Dec 01 1988 07:399
    My experience also.  Usually (with familiar cats [not intended]),
    getting upset past the squirming-to-get-away stage has been related to 
    some kind of pain.  Check her over for sores, swelling, etc.
    
    Of course, we are all assuming that even being a new cat owner, you are
    picking her up in a reasonable way.  True?  How do you do it?  Maybe
    you are just straining a part of her anatomy.
    
    Gary
2015.6Ah, such temperamental creatures...CURIE::SADLER_TEMPThu Dec 01 1988 09:2817
    You have to remember that cats can't "talk", so a bite may be the
    easiest way to get their message across.  Older kittens sometimes
    go through mean stages, but grow out of it with age.
    
    When our Kitty Lou was bad, scolding her in my "Mean Voice" while
    making her look me right in the eyes was much more effective than
    a swat on the behind.
    
    Also, if you feel they need a swat, always do it on the behind.
    Cats are smaller than babies and fragile too.  You should use a
    small newspaper to swat them with.  That way they won't associate
    your extended hand with a swat, unless you are holding a newspaper.
    
    Best of luck,
    
    Cathy
                             
2015.7Mutual respect in order here!SALEM::DEFRANCO_JThu Dec 01 1988 11:2620
    Becky,
    
    Sounds like you haven't had Nami for very long so maybe she is still
    insecure around you.  Personaly I would not hit her for her actions
    as they may be due to her fear or insecurity at this point and hitting
    her (even lightly) may only make her reactions toward you worse.
    
    My Cali, as a kitten, would nip at me when I would pick her up and
    I would just put her down and respect her wishes.  I found that
    with a gentle voice and patience, she eventually came around.  She
    still hates to be picked up but she would never bite me now, she
    just squirms around like a little snake.  Some cats just don't like
    to be handled much and I feel you will get along better by respecting
    her wishes than trying to force her to adhere to yours.
    
    Best of luck!!
    
    
    Jeanne, Cali and Sam
    
2015.8VAXWRK::SKALTSISDebThu Dec 01 1988 14:595
    My seven are all very lovable and love to be held but when they want to
    be put down, I'ev found that they will warn me by licking me. If I
    don't take the hint, then they will bite.
    
    Deb
2015.9Consider them furry humansMANTIS::LEMMONThu Dec 01 1988 15:0912
    
    
    You're the Mom, let them know that!  If they don't they will end
    up getting away with murder.  Puffin and Buttons get away with more
    mischef with me than my husband, but they know who's boss (even
    though sometimes they give us looks like they are laughing in our
    faces) and they still love us even if they've been scolded.
    Eventually, you will get to know what kinds of moods they are in
    just by looking at them and they can change from one minute to the
    next.  They are very fickle beasts but if you add it all up they
    really love you 100% of the time!
    
2015.10Biting isn't always bad-intentioned...SWAT::COCHRANEScattering like light.Thu Dec 01 1988 15:3714
    Sometimes it's tough to read the little critters.  I used to think
    that when I was rubbing a tummy and they started biting gently they
    wanted through, but it's not always the case.  If they lick first
    and then start gently biting without breaking or bruising the skin,
    it's a sign of affection, and scolding could very well confuse them.
    In general, I've found that if the purring stops, it's time to finish
    up.  Charm in particular loves having her tummy rubbed.  She purrs
    like a Cadillac the whole time, first licking then biting
    and somtimes even rabbit kicking, but she never hurts or scratches
    me. Her claws are never out.  In fact, if I finish up too soon,
    *I'm* the one who gets scolded!!! ;-)  She grabs my hand with her
    paws and won't let go!
    
    Mary-Michael  
2015.11CIRCUS::KOLLINGKaren, Sweetie, & Holly; in Calif.Thu Dec 01 1988 20:428
    Some cats have particular parts of their anatomy that they won't
    tolerate anyone touching.  With my Pussycat, it was his tummy. 
    With Holly, its the lower part of her back.
    
    If a puss says "leave me alone", I leave the puss alone unless there's
    a real reason for not doing so.  After all, we all want not to be
    messed with sometimes.
    
2015.12thanks for the helpTEMPE1::PARKSMon Dec 05 1988 11:3711
Thanks for all your help.  
Tsunami and I are getting along much better now.  I have decided to let
her know when she does something wrong with a loud "NO".  Then "ignore"
her until she is being good or sweet again.  She responds to this quite well.

I think that part of her problem may have been the Christmas tree.
I noticed after I wrote my note that she would sit and stare at it a lot.  
I think she has accepted it now because I had to put the tree on a table 
in order to keep the ornaments on the tree.

Becky