Conference misery::feline_v1

    I just acquired 2 littermates (boys) and they do depend on each
    other a lot for attention and play.  However, they do come to us
    for cuddling when they are tired and want to sleep.  I think it
    is important to constantly pet, talk to, and hug kittens when they're
    young to get them used to people.  The breeder I got my boys from
    kept the kittens in a separate room but made sure that they received
    human contact several times each day.  They got used to being held
    at a very young age and do not mind it when we fuss over them. 
    But they are together constantly playing, eating, and sleeping.
    
    I would keep up the contact with them even though they seem to dislike
    it.  They could even sense your nervousness in handling them and
    are reacting to it in a negative way.  Make it a point to pick them
    up and hold them or put them on your lap and brush them while talking
    to them in a soothing voice.  This worked with my Nikki, who was
    scared to death of people when I got him.  I would set aside special
    time for him every day and brush him since he thoroughly enjoys
    being brushed.  It took a long time but it worked.
    
    Don't give up on them.  You can turn them around with time and love.
    
    /Roberta
    

    I agree with Roberta.  Give them lots of attention.  If they're
    frightened of being picked up, don't.  Just talk to them, give them
    a pat or stroke behind the ears as you walk by them, dangle a string
    for them to play with, etc.  I think it's important to give them
    attention on their terms, but to give them attention none the less.
    I'm in the habit of talking to ours whenever they're near and 
    trying to touch or play with them whenever I can, and they are
    VERY friendly.  Even if I'm in a hurry and have no time for real
    play or affection, a few softly spoken words will start Tenzing
    purring.  Tristan can't hear, so I rub him on my way by instead.
    Be gentle, kind and responsive to them, and they should become 
    more responsive to you.
    
    Good luck,
    Karen, Tristan and Tenzing.

    A note of encouragement:
    
    Chauncey is full grown (a bit *too* full grown) and has never been
    a real affectionate cat.  Well, last night, Dana decided to pick
    him up and put him on his chest.  He started petting Chauncey and
    rubbing him, and lo and behold -- Chauncey stayed put, loving every
    minute of it!  We always thought that he wouldn't like that sort
    of thing because he prefers to be somewhat of a loner.  We would
    pet him a lot but never really bothered to pick him up and hold him.
    I don't know if this was a freak thing or not, but it gave us some
    encouragement that perhaps Chauncey would enjoy laps with a little
    positive reinforcement.
    
    My kittens are starting to go through stages.  The first few nights
    we had them, they slept on the bed with us.  Now, as they explore
    the house more and more, they are finding better places to sleep.
    I was really disappointed when they turned their attentions elsewhere
    because I had my hopes set on lap cats.  This better be a stage
    they are going through... last night they couldn't care less about
    sleeping with us but they did hop on the bed in the morning for
    a little while.  Then they ran off together and thundered through
    the house.  Anyone have any suggestions on how to make them more
    affectionate?  Or will forcing the issue make it even worse?  Guess
    kittens are as unpredictable as children!
    
    
    

    We thought our two Siamese had outgrown being lap kitties.  After
    we got Charm, Niniane payed less attention to us, and as Charm got
    more comfortable with us, she needed our laps less and less.  Well,
    the cold weather has arrived now, and our lap cats have returned
    with a vengence.  We have discovered we now have four:
    
    			Seasonal Lap Cats
    
    Ho,ho,ho!!!!!!!!!
    
    Mary-Michael

    Our Brittany and Melissa are either sisters or cousins (there were
    4 litters born within 2 weeks of each other--all grey, grey tiger
    or some variation).  Our vet ages them the same so we suspect that
    they are sisters, however.  
    
    When we picked them out of a group of about 14 kittens, they were
    sleeping with their arms around each other which they continue to
    do to this day.  They are each others bestest friends and always
    either snuggling or playing.
    
    AND, they are VERY affectionate towards Bruce and I (the kids to
    a lesser degree but we fuss over the kitties more than the kids
    do).  Melissa, in particular, is a mushy, mellow cat.  Almost any
    time you pick her up, she will melt down into your arms and snuggle.
    They both love to lay in our laps.  Just last night, Brittany was
    in my lap and when I shifted position, got down.  Well, Melissa
    saw the opening and came flying across the room to leap into my
    lap before Brittany changed her mind.  (The night before, Melissa
    had tried to get there but Brit had beaten her to it.)
    
    One morning this weekend I slept late (a very unusual occurance)
    and woke up to find all 3 kitties snuggled right up against me.
    Melissa does this a lot!
    
    So, in our case, littermates (or cousins) can be real mushy!

    Thanks for your replies.
    
    Last night Patch was sleeping on my bed and I stretched out across
    the bed to pet and cuddle her.  The 2 baby brats came in and jumped
    up with us.  Normally if I payed any attention to them they would
    have just jumped down, but last night they acutally let me pat them!
    They stopped short of allowing me to hold them, however.
    
    I won't give up.  They are so prescious and I love them lots.  I'll
    just do it on their terms.  Maybe they will eventually come around.
    In the meantime, I'll just try to make sure they know they are loved.
    
    Thanks again,
    
    Janet