Conference misery::feline_v1

The good news is -- DON'T PANIC.  You said you just introduced them
last night, and it sounds like a perfectly normal reaction.  If this
continues for a couple of weeks you may have a problem, but one day
is too early to see a trend developing.  Wait it out...

It also depends greatly on Sunshine, every cat has a distinct personality
which makes it hard to generalize.  I just introduced my ninth cat to
the group (Jaspar, mentioned elsewhere in this file) and had one cat 
(Boss Tweed, called Tweedie) that reacted the same way; he is normally 
a guy to give me super hugs and kisses, and he considers himself the 
head cat.  He smelled Jaspar on my clothes, stalked out of the room in 
disgust, and could not be coaxed back.  This is the cat that will kill 
to get into my arms and be held!  The next day all was forgiven, he has 
decided that Jaspar can stay.  The other cats were a little tense 
because of the 'intruder' but were no less friendly to us, one never 
even noticed that Jaspar was there in the room.

Tweed is just a tempermental cat but even he gets over his sulks pretty
quickly.  You should have seen him fly across the room to attack our
greyhound when we first brought her home, he was deeply insulted that 
we hadn't asked his permission!  Now we tell him ahead of time and he
is more accepting [I'm sure it has more to do with getting some extra
attention rather than that he actually understands what we're saying].

Hang in there, it should get better quickly!


Jan   who_still_has_one_cat_the_others_hate

    Diane,
    
    Things will work out.  Mandy was the same way when we brought her
    little sister home.  Me, being her person, felt so guilty. 
    
    We had two litter boxes to start - One upstairs per usual and one in
    the downstairs bathroom for Koko.  And we had two food bowls side by
    side in the kitchen.  So at first Mandy stayed up stairs - she slept
    with us per usual and drank out of the tub but hardly ate for the first
    few days.  After about two days she would come to the bottom of the
    stairs, sniff and run back up.  After about 4 days Koko ventured
    upstairs and this is when they started fighting it out so to speak. We
    didn't get much sleep the second week we had Koko - they were working
    out their differences.  You see Koko insisted on nursing Mandy - and
    Mandy kept saying bug off kid!  After about 2 1/2 weeks they were
    getting along better.  Still a skirmish here and there - but they
    tolerated each other.  After about a month they got along great. We
    eliminated the second litter box, so they now share.  They love to play
    and cuddle together now - it just took some time.          
    
    We didn't keep them separated - we let them work it out themselves.
    We gave Mandy lots of loves and attention so she would know she
    was still a special kitty.  My vet had said, they will have enough
    to work out with out fighting over the litter box and food bowl
    - so those were separate.  Other than that it just took time.
    
    Believe me it is worth it.  The other night I was watching a movie
    with a comforter over me and Mandy came over and snuggled down on
    my lap.  Then Koko came over and groomed Mandy and fell asleep all
    cuddled up with her.  And I just sat there looking at how cute they
    were!  And they keep each other amused - one chases the other up
    the stairs and then vice versus on the way down.  
    
    Have patience!  It will work out.
    
    Suzanne

    Sounds normal to me !
    
    Worry not - all will work out in time - most of the noise you
    can ignore, unless they draw blood.
    
    E. T. + 15

    I am going through the same thing.  I have 2 littermates that are
    just about 1 year old, and I brought home to littermates that are
    8 weeks old.  My male has adapted great, he grooms them, plays with
    them and all eat out of the same bowl.
    
    T.C. on the other hand, still will not even enter the same room
    with them and it has been 1 week 1 day.  I think I am going to have
    a serious problem with her.  (she took a huge bite of my wrist).
    
    Don't worry about them adapting to each other.  It will definitely
    take time, but like Trigger did, he took his time, and now he loves
    them so much.
    
    It gets really tough watching t.v. though, three asleep on my lap,
    and one in the kitchen looking at me like she is extremely lonely.
    
    Good luck and may all go well.
    
    Kathy
    

    Lots of people seem to be going through this right now.  We've had
    Elmo for a month now (I think!).  Portia has still yet to "adapt".
    For the most part they all get along fine, all share a litter box,
    and all share a food dish.  Oscar and Elmo even play together. 
    But Portia(spoiled brat that she is) insists on being the boss.
    She ignores Elmo except for when he is causing too much trouble.
     It's actually funny to watch.  Elmo taking a spas attack for one
    reason or another - usually trying to beat the crap out of some
    poor inanimate object.  Portia will run up to him, skid to a stop
    2 inches fromhis nose, and slam her paw down on his head.  Elmo
    will then get up, go sit in a chair and take a nap!

    Yep, me too - but with luck, it passes. 
    
    After some preliminary hissing and head-swatting, my two twelve-year-
    old cats have (more or less) accepted 4-month-old Sirocco. The kitten
    just adores Chiun, possibly because he's the only cat in the house
    with a tail; at any rate, she plays with his tail, wrestles with
    him (funny to see half-a-pound in conflict with a 13-pounder), bites
    his ears, and generally annoys him. And then she'll curl up next
    to him and fall asleep. He has given me a few mournful looks, as
    if to say, "I wasn't really bored, you know; I *liked* sitting around
    all day. You didn't have to inflict _this_ on me." But then he'll
    wash her ears...

    Abigail has not taken to the kitten, but then she never did like
    other cats much. She *has* been seen playing tag with the kitten,
    though, and has pretty much stopped hissing at her. Even better,
    the mere presence of Sirocco seems to make Abigail feel more
    sure of herself, since for the first time in her life she is not
    the lowest-ranking cat in the house.
    
    Sirocco, of course, in the way of many kittens, seems perfectly
    self-possessed and at ease with the whole situation. Is some other
    cat sleeping on Mom's lap? No problem; she'll simply tuck herself
    in wherever she can and sleep there, too. Is some other cat getting
    fed? Why, she just sticks her nose in there and grabs some. All toys
    belong to her, and anything on the floor (or which can be knocked
    onto the floor) counts as a toy, including me. She doesn't climb
    curtains (bless her) - she climbs the *windows*, scaling the frames
    like a rock-climber.

    It's been a long time since I've had a kitten in the house. Chaotic,
    but worth it! (Now, if I could just find a way to keep her from
    scooping all the water out of the water dish...)
    
    -b

    Yesterday was the first day that I didn't hear Valentina hiss at
    Firecloud at all.  Yuri has even gotten to the point of trying to
    groom him ("Hold still, you little brat.  We can wrestle after I
    comb your fur.").
    
    It just takes time.  I'm glad to see we're all having pretty similar
    experiences.
    
       Gary

    Reading all these notes has got me worried about adding my new kitten
    next month.  And the breeder just offered me TWO yesterday because
    no one has contacted her for the last kitten and if she keeps it
    it will bring the inn to cat #24 (Elaine - she's got you beat!)
    and her husband is getting a bit perturbed.  Needless to say,
    my name is on the kitten and I found a back-up in case we decline.
    
    But, having grown up in a multi-cat household, everyone is right
    saying that these things just take some time and the cats will work
    the pecking order out themselves.  Makes life miserable for us in
    the process though!
    
    /Roberta
    

    GREAT!!  Two is always better than one!  Good for her, Roberta.
    I saw the babies - they reall were beautiful - fluffy little mites
    that you would want to put in your pocket and take home!!
    24 is crazier than 15 (mine) + 2 visiting (1 neice 1 nephew) = 17.
    
    Maybe I don't worry enough, but when I bring a new baby in,
    I expect noise from a certain few - sometimes they surprise
    me and only complain a little - the ones that complain the
    most are usually the ones that end up, in time, being the
    new baby's best buddy !!                                          
    
    Enjoy!
    
    E.T.

    
    
    	re: .0
    
    	I was in your shoes not too long ago.  We brought home
    	a 6 week old to a 4 year old.  Brandi did not like this
    	idea at all.  So we kept Sasha in the bathroom for the 
    	first couple of days.  Except when we were home.
    
    	But the wonderful people here said -take her out and let
    	them work it on their own- so I did.  And now they sleep
    	together, share the same litter box, eat side by side
    	and Brandi lets  Sasha groom her!  It is the cutest thing!!
    	The only time Brandi will let out a growl is if Sasha tries
    	to eat out of her bowl while she's eating.  Or if my SO
    	holds Brandi and picks up the kitten.  (Brandi is his cat,
        and she's still a little jealous)
    
    	But -mom- isn't worried anymore about the little one.  She
    	can defend herself and half the time she deserves it when
    	Brandi swats at her. (would you like it if a kitten bit you
    	in the rump :)   )
    
    	So don't worry too much.  Things will work out in time.
    	Brandi is very independent but she's taken to Sasha quite
    	well.
    
    	JJ
    
    	

    I need some advice..........
    
    Trigger was brought to our home on Saturday, (male cat from note
    1815).  He has been in one room the whole time, I've kept the door
    shut because he seems so scared!  I have yet to see him stand, walk,
    eat, or drink - though there are tell tale signs that he has been
    in the litter box.  He stays huddled in one corner.  I have gone
    in and scratched his head, talked to him softly, just sat on the
    floor of the room and read a book - no movement, other than to turn
    his head away.  Yesterday I got the first response from him, I was
    scratching behind his ear and he hissed - that's it.  I did leave
    the door to the room open for a while but he made no move to leave
    his corner.  My kitten, eight months did get in the room for a 
    second, hissed pufffed up tail etc. but I removed him before there
    was any encounter............
    
    Should I continue to let Trigger stay in the room by himself, ie.
    with door shut, until he is comfortable enough to at least move
    around in that room with me in the room?  I think the problem might
    be that our household is noiser and larger than the one he came
    from......we have a three year old, Sam hasn't even seen the cat
    yet I don't think he even realizes it's in the house although he
    knows we are getting a friend for Pooh.......Trigger has only heard
    Sam, he has not seen Sam yet.
    
    Should I let Pooh have the run of the house including that room,
    let them work out a truce, and maybe Trigger will adjust faster
    because he will sense that we don't hurt Pooh?  I'm really at a
    lost, I thought Trigger would have been a little curious about his
    new surroundings by now...........
    
    

    Roberta,
    
    That's GREAT news!!! Way to go!!!  I'm sure your cats will work
    it out by themselves just fine.  When I brought Merlin home, he was
    the least aggressive of any of the cats we have; he just sat there
    and let the others come and sniff him.  He wasn't submissive, either;
    he just sat there and acted like it was a fact of life that other
    cats would want to sniff him and that it was okay with him.  Of
    all of our cats, I think Merlin is so well accepted because he is
    so open and unagressive; he's just gently passive.  
    
    His passivity ends, of course, when you run your fingers under the
    sheets!!
                                                              
    Congrats again,
    
    Jill

re: .11

You are asking Trigger to absorb lots of input all at once....I would leave
him in his room, visiting as often as possible and petting him alot until
he is relaxed around you...then open his door and let him decide when to
explore.  Keep your child away from the cat until his is no longer scared...
a small child may not heed warnings that the cat is not interested in being
touched by a stranger....and children can get badly scratched because they
cannot move back quickly enough.

When you approach Trigger, go slow and do not loom over him, but sidle up
to him from a crouch or on your knees so you aren't so BIG....he'll come
around in time, and once you are OK, he'll be ready to take on the rest
of the family.

    I still remember when I got Sweetie and he spent the first few days
    behind the refirgerator.....  time fixes it.
    

    I will continue to leave Trigger in the "office" and go in and
    visit as time permits.  I always lay on the floor when trying to
    pet him, one good reason is it's the only way I can reach him!
    
    Sam is not muched interested in the cat, now cats, doesn't bother
    them or pay any attention unless of course Pooh is sitting on my
    lap and then Sam decides he needs to sit on my lap!  It funny but
    Pooh loves to be around Sam!  Sitting in the same room sleeps with
    him - after Sam has fallen asleep because Sam doesn't like Pooh
    in his room!
    
    I'll give Trigger all the time he needs, we use to have a cat -
    Mac- that always hid when visitors came, so I have had a shy cat
    before.  
    
    Thanks,
    
    Kathy
    
    PS  When should I "introduce" Pooh????

    Well, it will be a week tomorrow that I brought my additions home.
     We decided to take a brother along for Sheba because we thought
    littermates would be the way to go.
    
    However, Sunshine is worrying us to death.  I normally had her litter
    box in our downstairs bathroom along with her food, but she has
    not come down now to eat or use the litter box.  I got real concerned
    over the week-end; I could tolerate her not eating (I figure she'd
    come around when hungry) but the only time she used the litter box
    was when I brought it to the upstairs bathroom on Saturday.  As
    of this morning, she has not used it all.  (I brought it back
    downstairs because I didn't want to start a new habit, but I was
    so worried last nite, that I brought it up and she still wouldn't
    use it.)
    
    She's made some progress; at first she would come downstairs at
    all to take a look at the little ones, but now she's at least curious
    enough to watch Sheba and Samson go wild with each other.  She ate
    a bit this  a.m., however, still no litter box.  I do separate them
    while we're at work, but evidence tells me she had not bothered
    to use it.
    
    Also, any suggestions on how I can get the little ones to stop eating
    Sunshine's adult food? I've been taking it away  from them, but
    when and if Sunshine comes to look for it, there's nothing there
    but kitty food and I don't want her eating that; especially under
    the stress she's under, I'd rather her eat her normal food.
    
    My hands look like they've been thru a war zone, and we're now
    wondering if we should have left well enough alone and keeping Sunshine
    by herself--she seemed to be doing fine, but I can now tell she's
    in some sort of pain, because when we pat her tummy like we always
    did, she lets out a cry.  I know it's from not using the litter
    box, and no matter what I do, it's not working.
    
    Suggestions anyone?
    
    diane
    

    REP. 16
    
    Boy, what an awfull situation for you and poor Sunshine!  If it
    were me, I would put her litter box, food,  and toys in the room
    that she is hiding in so that all would be very close to her disposal.
    I don't think you will be starting a bad habit but rather giving
    her a smaller world to deal with for the moment.  You can move
    everything back to the old locations when Sunshine becomes used
    to the kittens.  
    
    I also think that I would not keep everyone separate.  The sooner
    Sunshine and the new kittens confront each other the better off
    things should be.  There may be a lot of hissing, growling and just
    plain bad feeling when this first happens, but it seems to get better
    from that point.
    
    Cali's reaction was similar to Sunshines when we first introduced
    Sam.  She hid under the bed and refused to come out and she would
    hiss and spit at me everytime I looked under the bed at her.  It
    took a full week for her to confront Sam.  Apparently she had come
    out from under the bed and was looking at Sam from down the end
    of the hallway.  Well, he was playing with one of her toys and that
    was the last straw.  She ran down the hall, jumped on Sam, smacked
    him around a bit, spit, hissed and then walked off like she was
    queen of the house.
    
    During this adjustment time I kept her food and litter box close
    to the bed so that she wouldn't feel pressured to venture thru the
    house with that big bad monster kitten lurking around.  This worked
    for me I hope you come up with a solution for Sunshine very soon.
    
    
    Jeanne, Cali and Sam
    
    

    I agree with .17, except for the part about not keeping them separate.
    We followed the routine of keeping the new kitten confined to one room
    for a few days, while allowing the cats to roam through the rest of the
    house.  We let the kitten out after a few days.  We've had our share of
    hissing and swatting, but nothing as bad as you describe.  Not even
    from Valentina, our very shy adult female. 
    
    When you separate them while you're at work, do you let Sunshine have
    the run of the house?  I think you should, while keeping the kittens
    confined.  I also think that when you get home you should give Sunshine
    all the attention and affection she wants before you spend any time
    with the kittens (other than a quick peek, but no touching).  Sunshine
    needs to know that she still comes first.  After a few days or even a
    week, reintroduce the kittens to her gradually, but make sure Sunshine
    gets all the attention. 
    
    In the meantime, definitely keep the litter box near her.  If
    necessary, get a second or third litter box, so that Sunshine can
    have her own.  Keep the litter scrupulously clean.  Make sure she's
    urinating.  If she isn't eating much, she may not need to move her
    bowels very often, but failure to urinate can be life-threatening.
    
    Also, don't discount the possibility that she may have something
    physically wrong with her, and that the kittens are just a coincidence.
    
       Gary

    I'm a little worried about her seeming to be in pain, combined with
    not using the litter box.  A blocked bladder is very serious.  I
    would certianly keep a litter box near her always.  I would start
    to think about taking her to the vet if she doesn't use it quite
    soon.
    

    Well, it happened! I came hme from work last nite, and put a new
    Sunshine's old litter box (from another house) in our upstairs
    bathroom.  At this point, I didn't care how much of a mess she made;
    I just wanted her to use it! She smelled around a bit, and sure
    enough, success!!  She even came downstairs to eat a bit (still
    not her usual consumption, but at least she tried) when she heard
    me shake her food into her dish.  She came face to face with Samson,
    gave a little "hsss" and that was it.  She still not completely
    confortable, but we have high hopes that she's coming around to
    accepting her brother and sister.
    
    Now if we can only get the little ones to stop being little pigs
    and eat their own food!
    
    Thanks for all the good advice!
    
    diane