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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO
Created:Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5089
Total number of notes:60366

1761.0. "HELP - CATS DON'T GET ALONG" by BALBOA::MAPPS (Linda Mapps) Tue Sep 13 1988 11:47

Hi Folks,

I hope you can help me.  I read this notesfile alot, but have never
entered anything before.  My problem is my new kitten.  I have two
other cats which were together from the day I brought them home.
They are currently about three years old.  A week and a half ago
I got an eight week old kitten.  I didn't expect the other cats to
immediately love the kitten, but I thought they would work it out.
It's not getting any better.

My cats are indoor/outdoor.  I introduced the kitten to the cats inside
(the kitten is currently indoor since it is so small unless I am home)
and ran into the usual hissing and spitting.  For three days, the older
cats wouldn't come in the house.  I left them food at night outside
(normally they eat inside at night) since I felt guilty, petted them
alot, and based upon your notes, bought a can of Pounce.  At least
the Pounce was a success.

If the kitten was not in the kitchen, they would come in and smell.
As soon as kitten appeared, they ran outside.  Finally, after a week
I decided it was time to take action since this became our daily 
routine.  I didn't feed them outside, but brought their food inside.
It hasn't helped.  They will come in, but the tension is intense.
They won't eat.  The strange part is the older cats actually seem
afraid of the kitten.  The hissing is not becoming any better, and
my husband is getting annoyed.   I eventually let them out again to
have a little peace and ensure the kitten it's wanted.  (One of the
cats did stay in one night.  Was hissing at the kitten in the morning
and couldn't wait to get out.)        

Can you think of anything I can do to help, or do you think I have to
get rid of the kitten (he's great by the way, very friendly and pretty).
I do have a screen door in the kitchen and the cats have been able to 
get a good look at the kitten through it.  I'm at my wits end.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Linda

PS - The older cats (male and female) have both been fixed.
                              
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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1761.1More timePOOL::MURPHYIs it Friday yet?Tue Sep 13 1988 14:2010
    I'd say just be patient and give them more time and more exposure
    to each other.  Sounds like the older ones are spending too much
    time outside which makes it even harder to adjust and get used to
    the new baby.  Having introduced kittens to older cats in my family
    several times in the past (and recently), there is the usual hissing,
    growling, and checking out to go through the first couple of weeks.
    After that, mine are all eating, sleeping, and playing together.
    
    Pat, Holly, Buffy, D.P. Gremlin, and Thai
    
1761.2you buy food - you are in charge!SKITZD::WILDETime and Tide wait for NormanTue Sep 13 1988 14:2122
First, keep the kitten....you are in charge of your house, not your cats!

Second, feed your cats in the normal place, giving lots of love and attention,
but do not feed them outside because they don't want the kitten there...they
are pulling a power play and the more distraught you are over what is happening,
the longer the hassle will continue.   Force the environment back to normal,
making sure the cats get lots of individual attention, but do give the kitten
it's own litter box, water, and food dish for at least awhile.  When the cats
see that the kitten is THERE and will not leave, they will settle down....
in that, I mean the hissing will stop...they will learn to play with each
other much later (the balance of "power" is with the cats, there are two
of them so they can "band" together, and they are much older so the pecking
order is established with them on top - these factors mean it will be a
month or more before playing, etc. occurs).  You can expect peace to reign
in the house in approx. a week of simply ignoring the hissing and spitting
and acting normal.  Worst case behavior modification - when a cat hisses,
spray it with a water pistol.  They learn quickly that hissing gets them
wet and they will stop.


		D-who-has-added-several-to-the-family-over-the-years

1761.3Don't give up!HPSCAD::KNEWTONThis Space For RentTue Sep 13 1988 16:3819
    I agree with the last replies.  When I brought Tiggers home, Snuggles
    spent all his time hiding upstairs.  There was alot hissing and
    spitting and if it got to wild I'd intervene, otherwise I let them
    work it out themselves.  It helped too, that Snuggles was an indoor
    only cat.  It took Snuggles about 2-3 weeks to finally get along
    with Tiggers.  But I will say that the experience has changed Snuggles.
    He is just now forgiving me for bringing Tiggers into his home.
    It's taken about 2-3 months for Snuggles to start sitting on my
    lap again or showing any affection towards me.  At least the Pounce
    worked for you.  Snuggles used to love it, but the whole time he
    was adjusting he wouldn't touch it.
    
    Don't give up your kitten.  You might try leaving them alone in
    the house when you're at work.  I was really afraid of doing this
    because Tiggers was so small and sickly when I brought him home.
    I had to do it anyway and they didn't hurt each other.  Snuggles
    probably spend most of the day hiding anyway.
    
    Kathy
1761.4VIDEO::MORRISSEYI had the time of my lifeTue Sep 13 1988 16:5728
    
    
    	I am going through the same thing right now.  I asked
    	for advice from the fellow kitty lovers here and it
    	SLOWLY seems to be working.
    
    	Brandi is about 5 years old.  And we brought in Sasha
    	at 6 1/2 weeks old.  Well, Brandi wanted NOTHING to do
    	with this 'thing' that had invaded.  So we were keeping
    	Sasha in the bathroom at night and during the day when
    	we were at work because 'mom' was petrified that Brandi
    	would hurt her.   But I was told to let her out.  And I
    	did.  They can actually sit a foot apart and Brandi 
    	behaves!!  Not all the time.  There are still a few times
    	when she'll hiss or growl.  I think they've even started
    	to play.  They'll run through the house with Brandi 
    	chasing Sasha and the next minute it's vice versa!!
    	Brandi had ignored us for a while but she's back to
    	being her ol' snuggly self!!
    
    	Like I was told, they've got to be together for the
    	older cats to get used to the idea that this little
    	fuzzy creature is not going away.
    
    	Good luck!!
    
    	judy
    
1761.5I'll give it all a tryBALBOA::MAPPSLinda MappsTue Sep 13 1988 18:4912
    Thanks for all the advice.  I am going to give it a try.  Both of
    my old cats are certainly not ignoring me.  They are more affectionate
    than ever and insisting on being petted.  My arms are full of scratches
    from holding one or the other and the kitten coming along and they
    take off in wild fear.  I'm going to try wearing long sleeves so
    people won't think I'm trying to slash my wrists.
    
    I will try to ignore it and let everyone knows what is happening.
    
    Thanks all,
    
    Linda
1761.6LDP::CORCORANWed Sep 14 1988 10:2419
    
    You've got one thing in your favor and that's the age of the two
    older cats.  I found that the longer you wait to add cats to the
    family, the longer (if ever) it takes for the older ones to accept
    the new additions.
    
    I got Ivory when she was 8 weeks old.  Ebony was 3 yrs at the time
    and it took quite a while for him to accept her, in fact, to this
    day (she's 4 and he's 7) he hisses at her when he's not in the mood 
    to play.  
    
    I think once the older cats know that they're not going to loose their 
    "mothers" love and affection, they'll eventually learn to play and 
    accept the new baby.
    
    Just my $.02...
    
    BC