Conference misery::feline_v1

    
    I just read what I wrote and even though I was so furious with
    him when each event occurred, I must admit I cracked up just now.
    
    	Karen

    Bandit knows how to get on the refrigerator, he just hasn't chose
    to show you yet.
    
    Edd

    Karen - I just love to read your notes.  This one takes the cake,
    though!  Have you ever thought of writing newspaper columns??
    
    T.K. and Bandit sound like little sweethearts, despite their
    destructive habits.
    
    I volunteer for the Framingham Animal Humane Society, and when I
    went last night, 3 cats were returned by the people who adopted
    them.
    
    Why?
    
    Because (heaven forbid) one of them kept jumping up on the kitchen
    counter, and the other two would not stop running around the house!
    
    Would people give away their kids for these reasons?  I think not!
    Some people have mush for brains!!
    

    To help solve the problem of your paper towels being used as an
    "exercise wheel," you might want to put an elastic band around them.
    But, Bandit will probably just shread around it.
    
    Before my Niki went out, she use shread wallpaper, especially around
    corners, shread upholstery and pull the paper towels off
    the roll.  That happened when she lived at my in-laws house, who
    now have re-decorated and where Niki is now not welcome.  In our
    house, she does none of the above, probably because she goes out.
    I must admit that once in a great while, she rolls the paper towels
    off the roll.
    
    Barbara
    

Hi Karen!

    I'm new to this file, so I don't know too much about Bandit and T.K.  But 
    I have had many cats in my life.  Problem is they have always been
    outdoor cats and I haven't experienced the joys of kitten terrorism.
    Until this past summer!  Thats went my husband bought me Sheena, she's 
    a chocolate point siamese.  I assume Bandits a kitten, since you said
    he had just discovered the counters.  I'm glad I started reading this 
    file because I thought I was the only one with a krazy kittie!  Like
    you said every evening when I come home, I look around to find out
    what she has destroyed, AND every morning (she has a field day while 
    we're sleeping!).  Also while we're sleeping, when she really 
    feels frisky she nips me!  On the nose, elbow, feet, and once she went 
    under the covers and bit me on the behind!!  BTW my husband is very
    stern with her and she never dares to even get near him when he's sleeping.

    When we got her I was out of work with a back injury, so I was home all day.
    The heavy duty terrorism started when I went back to work.  So I
    thought she was mad at me.  But I see now she just a normal indoor
    kitten. (WHEW!)

    I'll never forget one evening when I came home, I opened the front and 
    herd a loud humming noise.  As I came into the kitchen there was my 
    freezer door wide open!!  Everything inside had thawed out!
    Apparently Sheena had pushed it open with her back paws as she jumped
    up to the cabinets above.  I had just gone shopping the night before,
    boy was Duane MAD!  She's also destroyed almost every plant in my
    home, I tried those kittie greens but she likes mine better!  She also 
    has one VERY bad habbit of chewing on all the electrical wires in the 
    house, I pray she doesn't electrocute herself! 

    Again as you said, she's soooo beautiful I just can't stay mad at her!

    Sheena's cleaning lady,

    Corine 
    

    
    	Re : elastic bands
    
    	Well I've never tried it but I have noticed in the past that
    	if he couldn't get the toilet paper off the roll it would
    	still be quite shredded.
    
    	This shredding habit will stop next month because he is
    	getting .... yes, declawed (no flames).  He also plays 
    	Tarzan on the curtains, my clothes, my plants, and he thinks
    	that the couches are his scratching post.  I hate to take
    	away those claws that make his life so much fun but I have
    	to!!
    
    	How can you discipline a cat when you just aren't home
    	long enough?  I am leaving next Friday for 10 days and
    	in the meantime a friend is coming in to feed them, etc.
    	I think I'll ask him not to pick up any mess that they
    	make, just so that I'll have something to come home to.....
            
    
    	Karen

    Karen, it looks like you have got your hands full with Bandit. 
    Where was T.K. when all of this happened.  I am SURE that he wasn't
    just an innocent by stander.
    
    Silver likes to shred, too.  The other morning I woke up and found
    Tissues from on end of the living room to the other.  This morning,
    she had gotten into the trash and found some paper and decided to
    decorate the kitchen.  What a crazy cat.  Tabbatha is no innocent
    by stander, either.  She is just as much to blame as Silver.
    
    Holly

    Oh yeah, regarding the shredding stopping when Bandit is declawed,
    Don't count on it!  Silver isn't declawed, but she shredds things
    with her mouth!  Also, Bandit may discover that he can use his back
    claws.
    
    Holly
    

    
    
    re: 1128
    
    How do you type a scream!!!!
    
    YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Oh noooooooooooooooooooo......
    
    Guess I'm gonna spend my life picking up after the MAD SHREDDER!!
    
    :-)
    
    I mean :-(.
    
    No, I guess I think its funny.....
    
    sometimes..........
    
    Karen
    
    especially when he purrs and meows at me when I'm scolding him.

    Hi Karen,
    
    Do you ever wonder what goes through their minds as they shred,
    shred, shred away?  I can picture them yelling "whoop de do! whoop
    de do!" tossing tissues and paper here and there.  Either that or
    they sit and stare at the roll of towels or box of tissues until
    they are POSITIVE they saw it move, and they LEAP at it to defend
    your house while you're away.
    
    Either way, whenever *I* come home to find something shredded, both
    Sebastion and Claude blink their eyes and look at me as if to say,
    "I WISH you would clean this pigsty up!" and then they watch lazily
    as I gather it all up and stuff it in the trash... COMPLETELY bored by
    the entire scene.  
                       
    Don't worry, they'll find some other way to keep you busy once they
    can't shred paper anymore.  Resourceful little devils they are...
    but cute.
    
    Amy.
                                                      

    Milo LIES!!!  deliberately and systematically.
    
    Early this week, Milo discovered the counters.  I firmly, but gently,
    lifted him down and gave him a stern, "No!"  He listened and understood
    and I haven't seen him on the counter since.  I _have_ seen his
    footprints.
    
    Tuesday night Milo apparently jumped up on the counter behind me
    -- silently, secretly -- to get a better view of mother filling
    his bowl and Rick walked in a "NO!!"ed.  By the time a turned around
    Milo was seated -- still silently -- at my feet with that "What's
    _his_ problem, Mother?" look.
    
    But then last night, I was upstairs when I heard that distinctive
    sound of falling [but not breaking] glass.  I heard no footfalls,
    no scrambling [Milo sounds like a heard of 6 pound elephants most
    of the time], but when a got downstairs I did hear litter scratching
    and Milo strolled nonchalantly out of the bathroom with that "Now
    I feel _much_ better, Mother" look.  When I got to the kitchen,
    the glas was still slowly spinning on the counter.
    
    Milo lies...expertly
    
      Annie

    
    
    Re: Where is T.K.?
    
    Well, I'm sure he watches and sometimes chips in but I KNOW who
    the shredder is.  I've seen him in action, standing, all four
    paws in a Kleenix box digging away madly.  Bandit just seems to
    get into EVERYTHING.  The only really naughty thing T.K. does
    is to leap at my plants and take down pieces to play with.  And
    of course, the counter is a favorite spot but he was never
    destructive.
    
    Re: ages of T.K. and Bandit
    
    T.K. is 8 months old and has been exploring counters since 3 months.
    Bandit is 6 months old and has been exploring counters since 5-1/2
    months.  He is a little slower but he sure knows how to be naughty.
    
    Karen
         

Kittens are made so cute because the Lord knows we'd kill them if they
weren't totally irresistable!

I remember when I lived in a house with trash cans that were upright,
where everything on the coffee table STAYED on the coffee table for
more than an hour at a time...I even remember having shelves in
my closets that had neatly stacked items ON the shelves rather than
pile of books, clothes, etc. on the floor of the closet....but mostly
I remember when my older cats were staid, lazy, and getting "old"...
I remember it wasn't nearly as much fun!

		D_Hannah's_long_suffering_but_happy_mom

    Re: .5
    
    About those electrical cords and the freezer...try tabasco sauce
    on the cords, it dries to an invisible, non-sticky finish.  It worked
    for Sweetie and Holly.  It needs to be reapplied occasionally; 
    I guess it volatilizes.  I'm nervous about the freezer;  suppose
    puss gets shut in and suffocates?  But I don't know what to suggest
    about it.
    

    Sort of reminds me of a Kit & Carlyle cartoon on my refrigerator
    (Kit is a single woman and Carlyle is the kitten that owns her).
    
    Anyhow, Kit has just left for work and Carlyle is perched on top
    of the easy chair sighing "So much to mess up .. so little time"
    
    Deb

    Karen,
    
    I just giggled through your entire story .0.  And then giggled through
    .11.  It reminds me of SY when he was a kitten.  What am I saying...
    I come home at nights and always look around to see what he has
    done while I have been gone.  Sy is 5 1/2 years.  The last time I 
    read about someones kitten shredding kleenex I thought about how lucky
    I am.  Sy has only shredded TP paper twice (when he was little),
    But the next day when I got home, there is was.  An entire, NEW,
    box of Kleenex all over the front room.  At least he didn't shred,
    he only placed the folded pieces where he could sit on them.  
    His favorite thing to do is to empty the end tables, TV and coffee
    table of the items on them.  Not every day, mind you, it seems he
    plans it for days when Mom is bringing home company.
    
    But like everyone,  I love my furface and wouldn't do without the 
    antics.
    
    linda
    

    Karen,
    
    I told you I just LOVED reading about Bandit.  I couldn't stop laughing
    the whole time I was reading it.  Just think how BORING life would
    be without him.  Besides, with all this extra bending you are doing
    to pick up after him, think of all the money you are saving by not
    having to go to Aerobics classes.  You could always devise a way
    to do the Pick up One, Pick up Two, to music.
    
    I should never read about Bandit when I know my phone will ring
    like it just did half way through .0.
    
    Way-to-go-Bandit.
    
    Sandi (Lightning's & DejaVu's Mom)
    
    P.S.  DejaVu's nickname is also BRAT.
    
    
    

    If you want a real mess, leave a shipping box with those packing
    peanuts in it while you go to work. "C.P." will scatter them all
    over the house as they stick to his fur because of static electricity.
    He owns all boxes and plastic bags that enter his domain. He quit
    shredding the T.P. after a few scoldings, but will die for a tissue
    to shred. He refuses to stay off the kitcken table but won't get
    on the counters. I suppose that if he has plenty of plastic bags
    and boxes to entertain himself with he dosen't need to shred things.
    
    Dick & C.P.  {cat person}
    

    Re: those plastic (or whatever)peanuts
    
    S&H love these, but I always try to keep them away from them because
    they seem to eat them.  Anyone know if this stuff is toxic or anything?
     I'd like ot let them play with them if they're safe.
    

    I've heard that they are toxic to small children, so IwI would assume
    the same thing for cats... or anyone else for that matter...
    
    

    Non-biodegradable too.  Bring back crumpled newspaper.....
    

    REGARDING 14;
    
    Thanks!  The tabasco sauce sounds like a good idea, so long as it
    doesn't make her sick.?  Also I believe I solved the fridge problem.
    I put all my cookbooks and a bunch of other stuff right at the edge
    so she can't get NEAR the edge to push it open.  It looks a little 
    cluttered, but I'd rather have that than spoiled meats!  I don't think 
    she would climb into a working freezer?  She hates being cold!
    
    Sheena's bed warmer
    
    Corine
   

    
    
    Well I seem to have lived through a very calm weekend.  I got home
    Friday and everything was fine, except that one of my pot holders
    was in the middle of the living room floor.  I must have dropped
    it there.  So I pick it up.  Saturday morning its in the living
    room again.  Must have left it there again....  And same on Sunday!
    
    Then this morning I went down to the basement and at the bottom
    of the stairs in a potholder mitt.  In shreds!!!  I picked it 
    up trying to decide what to do with it and finally just dropped
    in back on the floor for Bandit.
    
    And why am I accusing Bandit even though I never caught him in the
    act??  Because this systematic destruction of my kitchen began
    the day that Bandit found out how to get on the counter.  And
    besides, the mitt was shredded and we all know who the mad shredder
    is!!!
    
    Karen

    Karen,
    
    This sounds somewhat like what I woke up to Saturday morning.  My
    Fiance had accidentally left a roll of paper towels on the counter
    instead of on the dispenser.  Saturday morning, I went into the
    kitchen and found myself wading in shredded paper towels up to my
    ankles.  The whole floor was COVERED!!!  It was practically a new
    roll so there was LOTS of fun to be had.  I found the empty paper
    towel roll underneith all of the mess.  I couldn't believe it. 
    I waited until my fiance came over and made him clean it up, though.
    He'll never leave anything destructable on the counter again.  Not
    with Silver around!!
    
    Holly, Tabby and Silver
    

    Re: does Tabasco make them  sick?
    
    My guys just instantly wrinkled their noses and backed away from
    the electricals after I put Tabasco on the cords.
    
    I was thinking more along the line of a puss being
    curious about the freezer, sticking his nose in, and maybe getting
    closed in.  I have the idea that it might be impossible for one
    to get out;  they probably wouldn't even recognize where the door
    was from the inside.
    

    Gee Karen, I just had a wonderful idea - how about we put
    your Bandit and my Lara in a room and throw away the key?
    Silly me, and I thought she was the best shredder that
    was ever born! 
    
    First day in new house:  Items shredded:  3 rolls bathroom
                                              stationary
                                              1 1/2 rolls paper towels
    You all know what moving day is like - no time to kitty proof
    the shreddables.  Karen, Lara is 13 months old and still shredding
    - how old is Bandit (if you are letting him live!)?
    
    Elaine & Lara The Shredder
    

    Hmm. I think that I will throw Pasha in that room too - he now
    owns a pair of his very own potholders!  Drags them around and
    growls when someone tries to take them away.  He runs into the
    fridge EVERY time I open it - one of these days............
    Sometimes I wonder if he will make to his first cat show, which
    is this Saturday- grrr.
    
    E.T. (but he is so beautiful and sings even when he sleeps.....)

    Elaine, what is bathroom stationary?

    Deb

	 Bandit must  be  related  to  Joshua.  I  used  to come home to
     mountains of toilet paper pouring out of the bathroom. Josh doesn't
     bother with his feet when extracting tissues from the box - he just
     dives  right in with his head. Just think of how funny it is to see
     a  big  muscualr  9lb  cat  running around with one of those square
     kleenex boxes stuck on his head!!!

	 I have  replaced  3  TV  cords,  countless phone cords (most of
     which  run  through  plastic  tubing  now)  and  several strings of
     Christmas  tree lights. All because my 'angels' wanted something to
     chew on.  

	 I used  to take the middles of the 2-liter soda bottles and put
     them  around  the  toilet paper and paper towels. They seem to have
     outgrown  this  stage  now, though - they're into bigger and better
     things  now  -  like shredding the insulation on the FHA ductwork !
     :-(  Most  of  it  has  been replaced with foil-backed stuff, which
     seems to be a deterrent, but the sections that are not replaced yet
     (I ran out)......

	Kathy

    re: .30,
    
    Kathy, 
    
    I KNOW what you mean about the "Kleenex box with four furry legs."
    
    Two of mine like to dive for tissues...and they always get stuck.
    
    A similar trick they have is with those plastic bags from the
    grocery store, with handles.  Several times now I have heard
    the sound of a herd of elephants with plastic tarps.  But, of
    course, it was only one of the cats with its head through the
    handle, running faster, ever faster, to try to escape the
    crinkling sound that seemed to just barely catch up no matter
    how fast it ran!
    
    	:-)

    Milo doesn't shred [thank you!!], but he feels very strongly that
    toilet tissue does NOT belong on a roll.  He take the end and drags
    it out the door, down the stairs, around the kitchen chair, down
    the cellar stairs, through the big cats litter box, around the dryer,
    ... you get the picture.  He gets frustrated when the paper breaks
    and begins again...sort of how I used to feel when peeling apples,
    I guess.
    
    Maggie thinks the whole thing is asinine, and will often break Milo's
    streamer just for the aggravation.
    
      Annie

    only true kitty lovers could enjoy seeing this.  i have a question
    though:  Q-Tips???????????????????????????????????????????????????
    
    my verne will pass up tissues any day for a Q-tip or two.  he even
    figured out that we started dumping them in different trash cans
    so now he just goes through all of them, tippin' the can basket
    over and literally nose diving into it head first until he finds
    one to play with. shirl doesn't seem to be that interested in them,
    but will not be an innocent bystander like she thinks we think she
    is.
    
    the other day i came home and found our only plant left (a beautiful
    spider vine) was knocked over half on the floor and half on the
    table.  we have wooden beams with cathedrial ceilings and shirl
    just loves to show off to verne that she can balance of them and
    he can't.  we started off with about four plants to a beam,...
    we now have none of one side and two on another.  needless to say,
    i don't know which one is worse... 
    and all i do is smile when richard comes home and yells
    "Oh @#$%, not again,............. VERRRRRNE!"
    

	 Josh has,  at  his  'advanced'  age of 4, has for the most part
     forsaken tissues and has moved on to the q-tips either in the waste
     basket, or better yet, the ones still locked in the linen closet. I
     am  forever  coming  home  to bathroom trash spread evenly over the
     bathroom  floor  and the bent and broken remains of the q-tips that
     were  at  the  bottom  of  the  trash  lying  in  the middle of the
     living room floor!

    

    Buffy likes Q-tips also! He must have one if I do.  He'll climb
    all over the toilet cover and sink to get to them.  One night my
    husband was cleaning his fishing reels and Buff took the container
    and spilled them out.  he loves sliding with them and pushing them
    under things.... the couch, chairs, etc.  Lovely to find when your
    cleaning!  He also did that with 2 grey furry mice (lifesize, complete
    with red eyes). It was pretty embarassing when the rug cleaner person
    moved the couch and jumped.  My response was "Oh, THAT'S where they
    went!"  I'm sure he thought I was short a few cards in my deck!

    Adrienne used to jump up on my bureau and take just _one_ Q-Tip
    from my Q-Tip container after I left for work. I knew because
    I would come home every day and find one very badly mistreated Q-Tip
    on the living room floor.
    
    Then, she started taking _lots_ of Q-Tips each morning. I finally
    had to hide them away in my bureau drawer . . .
    
    I wonder what it is about Q-Tips that they love so much.
    
    Marleen
    (Sly, Adrienne, Paws, Springer, Midway)
                                                         

    
    
    Its cotton balls that Bandit loves, only the used ones though, and
    only the ones I use to take off my eye makeup.  I think it must
    be because the eye makeup remover has something in it he likes,
    such as lanolin.
    
    Karen

    yes, the eye makeup remover.  i guess it could be worse, but my
    boyfriend doesn't take kindly to the tissues everwhere.  (or plants,
    or q-tips etc.)  i use vaseline to take off my makeup and i remember
    someone in this file sayin that their cat loved the vaseline as
    much as verne likes q-tips.  i thought to myself vaseline, now theres
    a weird one but come to my surprize they all basically like it.
    when i lived at home my dogs (especially in their puppyhood) would
    constantly take out my cotten balls etc. out of the wastebasket.
    thats when i learned never to flush q-tips, (boy was dad mad at
    that one)... anyways, im mending my plants tonite i wonder if it
    will be worth it.

I think I would settle for shredded kleenex, toilet tissue, etc.  -- because
my kittens have decided they are far beyond that and instead "steal" my
jewelery, any knickknack that they can carry - I'm still searching for
my austria crystal swan -- I even put my jewelery box on the high dresser
but they have learned to open the drawers!!  

They also just love climbing up on my vanity and knocking off or walking
off with my cosmetics, etc.

They also have great fun taking the pencils or pens -- ever reach for a pen
where you know there should be one and alas no pen!! Sometimes you wonder
if you're losing your mind.

Right now is the puzzle of the house -- the remote to the cable -- now that's
heavy!! It is not to be seen anywhere -- and we've searched. 

I keep hoping that they'll bring these things out of their hiding to play
with them again -- and then I can put them in places I think they can't get
at.  

Talk about child proofing a house!! My kid wasn't this bad!!

Everyday when I arrive home, I wonder what's missing or has been placed 
elsewhere!! 

There are days I'm willing to give them away, but then when they come and
cuddle up and purr, all things are forgotten and lots of loving is shared.

Furfaces - who could live without them!! 

    My furfaces don't surprise me with the antics of their kittenhood
    anymore.  I don't know if I miss it after reading all of your great
    notes, but let me share a few of THOSE experiences . . .
    
    When Kiwi was our only, she would go into my clothespin basket, which
    I kept near the window in the kitchen for convenience, take one
    out (the ones that roll) and swat it around until it disappeared.
    Finally, when spring came and it was nice enough to hang clothes
    outside, there were no clothespins in the basket!!!  They were all
    under the refrigerator!
    
    Then we added Weazy, and one day he came bouncing down the stairs
    all wrapped up in my bra, strutting around like he was dressed up
    or something!  Can you imagine if I had company at the time?!!!
    
    Ah, what are memories for!  These were the "cute" antics.  Others
    weren't so cute -- scratched wallpaper, torn curtains, demolished
    trash (esp. after chicken dinners), and abused houseplants.
    
    They were never paper shredders, but don't leave any Q-tips hanging
    around!!!
    
    Pam
    
    

    Embarassing? I'll give you embarassing...q'tips are petty, so are
    cotten balls when you are having guests and you go up to the bathroom
    and find that a box of Stayfrees have been opened, shredded and
    strewn all over the floor!! Too boot, several of your guests have
    already used the facilities and you don't know if it happened prior
    to when they were there or you are the first to find it all... So
    you clean up the mess tuck the box away away and act like nothing
    odd happened as you belive that you cleaned up all there was to
    be cleaned up....then you are all seated at dinner and down comes
    a cute little siamese dragging one you didn't find ...so you dive
    into the soup bowl and try to drown yourself......!!!
    embarassingly yours,
    Fran
    

    
    	Re: .41  Could have been more embarassing......  :-)

    Well,  DejaVu and Lightning almost `died' this morning.  I was almost
    ready to leave for work when I heard a `thump' in the `Blue Room'.
    When I looked in, I saw my beautiful unicorn bust tipped over. 
    I was ready to `kill'.  This is one of my favorites that I received
    for Xmas.  The two `darlings' were in one of their `moods' and were
    racing up and down the hallway and over chairs and onto  tables
    and happened to `sort of' knock over the unicorn.  Lightning is
    almost seven (7) years old and still acts like a kitten at times.
    Of course, by the time I got there, neither one was anywhere near
    and, of course, could not have knocked it over.
    
    As to jewelry and belts.... I still haven't found my silver chain
    and gold belt.                                          
    
    Cats are wonderful....I love mine dearly.
                                     
    
    Sandi (Lightning's & DejaVu's mom)
    
    

    re: 40 & 41
    
    The tears are still running down my face.  I can relate to both
    or your stories.  My Obi (4yrs. old)  loves Q-tips also.  The
    first time was so funny.  I was sitting on the couch and I new
    that she was up to something.  She was busy pulling all of the
    facecloths out of the drawer.  She got bored with this and all
    of a sudden she came charging out of the bathroom with a Q-tip
    in her mouth, she looked so funny she reminded me of a dog with
    a bone.
    
    Another time she came charging out of the bathroom with my Bra
    trailing behind her.  It seems that the hooks are nice and easy
    to grab onto.  She was so proud of her self it took me a couple
    of minutes to chase her down and get it away from her.  
    
    Re: 41 
    
    Obi loves anything that will make a crinkle sound.  So the covering
    on Tampons makes beautiful music.  Needless to say we also had
    company and the entertainment arrives.  Obi running out of the
    bathroom with a tampon (she can open cabinet doors) in her mouth.
    I just sat there stunned I didn't know what to do.  All of a sudden
    everyone started laughing Obi thought that this was great until
    I stood up (oh no she's going to get me and my toy) I took one
    step toward her and she took off with her prize.  The laughing
    turned into hysteria at this point (me red faced chasing a cat
    with a tampon).  But overall I don't know what we would do without
    her.
    
    
    Kim
    

    Oh no!!  .41 and .44--I'll go you one better re: Tampax--
    
    I was getting things ready for my big move 2 years ago, and of
    course Billie had to get into everything.  
    
    You know how it is--you get used to slapdash cleaning on Sat. mornings
    because you need to go do errands, etc., etc.--so SOMETIMES you
    don't always clean UNDER things...after I had assembled a crew 
    of friends to move my stuff, and we were all sitting around on boxes
    drinking coffee and having donuts, and just chatting--out of the
    bedroom EXPLODES three tampon cardboard holders, with Billie in
    close pursuit.  Every woman there cracked up, and most of the men
    looked like they wished they were someplace else...
    
    And the funniest thing was that she had NEVER played with them before!
    ("Why NOW??")
    
    They have a wonderful sense of timing, don't they?
    
    Jane
    

    RE.45  
    I do have one that can top my own re.41....regarding a comdom...but
    the keyboard is blushing almost as badly as I am recalling it...so
    I'll settle for third place in "my most embarrassing cat memories!!
    
    Fran
    

    re: .45
    
    You say that Billie had never played with them before?
    
    Heh Heh...so YOU'RE the one who hid them in the first place???
    
    	:^)   :^)   :^)    
    
    	now I bet you're going to try to blame it on Billie again!
    
    
    I'll be moving soon.  These notes have certainly helped:  I will
    be CERTAIN to check under ALL beds, dressers, etc. *before*
    the movers come!!!

    In college I had a cat that thought my housemate's diaphragm was
    the perfect in-door frisbie and proudly trotted in and asked my
    fiance's Dad to play catch with her [Jezebel the himi].
    
    Embarrased as I was, there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to
    chase a cat and a diaphragm around the house.  My now-father-in-law
    found this so funny, I thought he would never catch his breath again
    -- indeed, I thought he might have a stroke right then and there.
    
    This, of course, prompted Jez to approach the next person in the
    living room, my future mother-in-law, then my fiance, and when she
    got to me I sternly choked out, "Jez, put that back where you found
    it!"  She was sooo crushed that her tail wilted and she dragged
    her treasure out of the room in chagrin.
    
    Three hours later I found her curled up behind the dresseer asleep
    with her 'toy.'
    
      Annie 

    RE.48
    That tops them all! I haven't laughed this much in days!!!
    Fran
    

    re: .48
    
    Oh goodness!  I hope the sharp_little_cat_teeth didn't put
    a HOLE in the, er, device.......
    
    This topic is, as Tony the Tiger would say, Terrrrrrrrrrific!
    (or did he say GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT ?)

    Oh dear!! I've been laughing so hard reading these!  And I thought
    I had the only mischievous furface ;-)
    
    These are tame by comparison, but she's only 4 1/2 months old, and
    I'm sure she will improve with age!
    
    Niniane is a very friendly kitten.  No hiding under the bed when
    company comes for this one!  No, no.  Every set of hands contain
    pats waiting to happen (unfortunately whether or not the person
    in question particularly likes cats).  So when we have a guest,
    Niniane "rushes" them.  She appears out of nowhere like a tornado
    runs madly over to the guest, jumps up onto the couch (or chair),
    stops just short of bowling them over, and looks at them as if to
    say, "I know I'm magnificant, so pat me!"  This isn't
    necessary her first appearance either, sneaky kitty.  She could
    be pleasant as can be for initial hellos, waltz out of the room
    and then come flying back in and "rush" the guest.  You can almost
    hear her thinking, "Hey!  I don't know those people!"  So far she
    has "rushed" my parents (who thought it exceptionally cute), one
    of my husbands co-workers (who suddenly had a cat sitting on his
    lap at the dinner table), one of my friends who stayed over (and
    almost wound up with a cat sitting on her face at 6:00 AM while 
    she was on the sleeper sofa (Niniane was pretty startled about that 
    too, as she hadn't counted on the sofa being open), and the
    insurance salesman (whose sales pitch was inrrevocably damamged when
    Niniane almost landed on a particularly sensitive area).  My husband
    and I tend to laugh like deranged idiots when this happens, and
    for the most part our friends join in.  I don't think we're going
    hear from the insurance saleman again, though ;-)
    
    She will shred tissue if given the opportunity, but will pass it
    up for fiberfill every time.  It's great to see this little siamese
    kitten running around the house with a wad of fiberfill sticking
    out of her mouth.  It makes her look like Santa Claus.
    
    Of course there was also the time that I was in my night gown
    excercising and Niniane crawled up it and went to sleep while 
    I was doing leg lifts.....I got a couple of interesting scratches
    extracting her from that one ;-)
    
    Mary-Michael 

    RE .50
    AH,YUP, but more like six-eight punctures, and that is only a quarter
    of the story!!!...
    Fran
    

    This has to be the funnist note.  Its great!
    
    re: .41 -  I have had the more embarrassing happen. (and it happened
    when my date (first date) brought me home-Everything all shredded
    around the front room, you know he couldn't keep it in the bedroom
    or bathroom).   But I still love my furface.  :-).
    
    linda
    

    Snuggles likes to play with and eat our dinner.  
    
    If I leave chicken breasts wrapped in tin foil in the sink to thaw during
    the day or at night and end up finding it on the floor with tiny little
    pieces of tin foil all over the place.  I would think the chicken would
    be to heavy for him to get out of the sink, but he manages it.
    
    Yesterday, my husband woke up after I left and found the chicken
    he left out in the middle of the floor (partially eaten he says).
    He said he had to go out and buy more.  Boy was he pissed.  I was
    glad I wasn't around when he found it.  I'm usually the one to find
    it and I clean it up before my husband finds out.  I kept forgetting
    to tell him not to leave it out where the cat could get it.
    
    I don't have any more q-tips.  Snuggles confiscated all of them
    used and new.  I also don't have pens or nail files around when
    I need them.   A bag of bobbie pins I had on my dresser are just
    about gone also because Snuggles dragged the plastic bag all around
    the house.
    
    Kathy (Snuggles mom)

    Re: 54
    
    I can relate to the q-tips, I have to hide 'em if I ever
    want to use them.  This also applys to masscarra, eye liners,
    earrings ect.  I think they just want to hit the town when
    I'm not looking!!!!  :^>
    
    Oh well, what can a mother do?  ;^>
    
    Katie
    

    I am amazed by all these people leaving munchies out to defrost
    where pussycats can get them.  I mean, sort of like putting a pan
    of lasagna in front of Garfield.....
    

    This is in regards to leaving food out to defrost.
    
    I agree with Karen.  Star, my daughter's cat, used to always steal
    (borrow) the meat off the counter.  I mean, REALLY.  If there is
    no-one around, the food on the counter MUST be for Star, RIGHT???
    
    I told my daughter to start putting the meat that is defrosting
    into the oven or microwave where Star couldn't reach it.  It seems
    to have worked (except when she forgets).
    
    Sandi (Lightning's & DejaVu's mom) and Star's grandmom.
    
    

    Deb, bathroom stationary = toilet paper!!  
    
    E.T.

    
    	I just got back from vacation Sunday and let me tell you,
    	the week that I was gone was a learning experience for
    	my two youngest....  you guessed  ...  T.K. and Bandit!
    	
        In the week that I was gone they learned to :
    
    		. open the kitchen drawers (Bandit found all the
    		  potholders that I hid and decorated my home
    		  with them)
    
    		. open the kitchen cabinets (its alot of fun
    		  to slam kitchen cabinets when mom won't let
    		  you sleep in the room)
    
    		. take potholders off the hooks on the wall.  I
    		  guess there weren't enough in the drawer so
    		  Bandit had to take them off the wall too!
    
    		. tip over highback chairs.  They must have been
    		  having some wild races while I was gone!
    
    		. tip over lamps.  I guess the chairs weren't enough
    		  but at least they unplugged the lamp while they
    		  were at it.
    
    		. take my stained glass off the window.  I made them
    		  too - such disrespect for my art!  
    
    	I'm sure that they learned other things while I was gone
    	but I'll probably learn about them slowly.  I only found
    	out about the cabinet trick this morning while sleeping.  
      	I knew about the drawers though because they forgot to
    	close one.....
    	
        Karen

Be thankful they haven't talked to Hannah about how to flush a toilet...
She's discovered it makes the water move in the bowl and ...well you get
the idea.  I've now had to make bathrooms off limits until she forgets
this one...HOW long can they remember things???

    RE .60
    
    
    
    			FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Sandi (Lightning's & DejaVu's mom)
    
    I know because Lightning is 7 years old and has NEVER forgotten
    anything that she did as a kitten.
    
    

    Mandy has been up to alot of crazy antics lately; almost as bad as
    Bandit. 

    This weekend I purchased some wrapping paper and a big purple bow for a
    wedding present. Mandy watched as usual while I wrapped the presents.
    She nonchalantly walked towards me picked the purple bow up and walked
    under the couch.  I gave her a "you silly kitty give that back to me
    lecture" and took it back. When I wasn't looking she darted out from
    under the couch grabbed the bow and ran under the couch again...half
    laughing I gave her another "you silly kitty lecture" and took the bow
    back. I gave her one of her million garbage bag ties to play with.  I
    thought she finally listened. I finished wrapping and put the big
    purple bow on the box. 

    I left the presents on the floor, big mistake, and went into the
    kitchen.  I heard something rustling...I looked into the living room
    and what did I see...Mandy on top of the box trying to get the bow
    unstuck.  As soon as she saw me looking she ran. Well I thought this
    must be a new toy she likes along with garbage bag ties, cue tips,
    emory boards and plastic milk cap rings.  I went upstairs in the
    christmas goodies and found a gold bow for her to play with.  I put the
    presents on the dining room table where she knows she is not allowed to
    go( at least when mom and dad are around).  She batted the gold bow
    around a little bit..but not much.  Tuesday when I got home I noticed
    something had been knocked off the dining room table. I knew what had
    happened immediately.  MY BIG PURPLE BOW WAS GONE! "Okay kitty what did
    you do with it!"  I finally found it upstairs under my bed mutilated.
    The gold bow was still downstairs in good condition - but not my purple
    bow. "BUT MOM YOU KNOW PURPLE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!" 

    Her second brat qualifying trick also happened this weekend.  Sunday
    night she wanted to play fetch with her garbage bag tie while I was
    watching TV. I would throw it and she would run grab it and bring it
    back to me. We played until mom got tired and went to bed...but Mandy
    wasn't tired.  She brought the tie upstairs and placed it on the bed.
    When I ignored her she placed it on my cheek - not a good feeling - a
    wet garbage bag tie on your cheek. I took it and put it in my night
    stand drawer.  But as I mentioned earlier she has at least a million
    lying around the house in secret hiding places. She went off found
    another one and brought it up on the bed and started playing with it.
    Mom took it again.  So she found her plastic milk cap ring and brought
    that up..again it was confiscated and put in my night stand drawer.  I
    think she finally got the hint and went to sleep. 

    Monday morning my husband remained home in bed due to the flu.  He woke
    up to some banging. He opened one eye and saw Mandy on top of the night
    stand trying to nudge the drawer open with her nose.  When she failed
    she got on the shelf underneath the drawer and started to paw at it.
    When she still couldn't get it open she walked away turned around took
    a flying leap at the drawer grabbed the handle and tried desprately to
    open it.  Mind you now, this cat has millions of these garbage bag ties
    around the house and at least a couple of thousand plastic milk rings
    hidden yet she had to have those stashed away in the drawer.  Finally
    my husband wanting some peace and quiet and afraid she might hurt
    herself in the process took out her three toys for her.  She thanked
    him, picked them up, brought them in another room and started to play.
    Now if this doesn't qualify her for brathood I don't know what will???? 

    Sweetie does this please-open-the-drawer number with the drawer
    that contains the box of catnip.  He sits on the counter above it
    and reaches over and pats the drawer with his paw.
    

    
    
    	Bandit hasn't gotten into much trouble since he got neutered
    	and declawed..... until Saturday night.  And he wasn't so
    	much naughty. I just thought that he was going to die.
    
    	Here is what happened.  I was flossing my teeth (this is a
    	major deal with braces).  Bandit was sitting on my lap.  I
    	discared a piece of floss onto my lap.  Bandit was playing
    	with it.  I was not paying attention because all my concentation
    	was on threading the da## floss through my braces.  I finished
    	flossing my teeth.  The other piece of floss was missing.
    	I checked Bandits mouth.  It wasn't there!!
    
    	I ran down to the phone, called the vet, panicked to the
    	answering service, waited anxiously for the vet to call back.
    
    	The vet called back.  He told me I would just have to wait and
    	see what happened.  I asked if there was some way I could make
    	Bandit throw it up.  He said yeah, hydrogen peroxide, and if
    	that didn't work, well, just wait in see.
    
    	Well I didn't want to "wait and see" so I jumped into my car
    	to find Hydrogen peroxide at 9:00 on a Saturday night.  Then
    	I realized that I was being stupid.  One of my neighbors would
    	probably have it.  And besides, I wanted to watch the skating
    	championships.  Well, my neighbor had it.  So instead of driving
    	to buy some, I go to watch the skating!!  But I didn't see
    	much of it, thanks to Bandit old buddy.
    
    	I picked up Bandit, wrapped him in a blanked, pried open his
    	mouth and poured it in.  His mouth foamed, I cried, he ran
    	away from me and hid, he didn't throw up.  After staring at
    	the tv for half an hour without really seeing it, I decided
    	to try again.  But Bandit had it all figured out!!  It was
    	almost imposible to open his mouth but I did.  I poured it in,
    	he must have spit it out!  Amazing how much 1 Tablespoon
    	of the stuff can soak!!  (my jeans, his front, the blanket).
    	
    	So, the story ended happily.   We waited and we saw.  Nothing
    	happened.  But Bandit is not coming near me ever again while
    	I am flossing my teeth!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    	Karen

    
    
    You all know how wimpy Bandit is, right??  Well, that is what
    I have been saying all along but just the opposite is true!!
    
    This weekend, I had the slider door open as I was bringing in
    my chair from the patio.  Well, the neighbors kitty (huge
    fluffy black cat) came wandering into my patio and Bandit
    saw him.  This upset him very much and before I knew what
    was going on, Bandit ran out the door and chased that big
    black cat OFF my Patio, onto his patio, backed him INTO a
    corner and sat there hissing at him!!  He was so ferocious!!
    I was absolutely stunned!  Needless to say, I grabbed him
    immediately and rushed him back inside.  He was all puffed
    up at having scared that cat.  What a cutie!
    
    T.K. also had his adventure outside this weekend.  Twice, in 
    fact.  I was putting a screen in one of my windows when
    T.K. took advantage of this golden opportunity to leap out
    the window like lightening.  I was so startled I almost fell
    out the window in my attempt to catch him.  Then, later
    that night my roommate came home, and out he goes again!  
    It took her almost 10 minutes to catch him.  What a little
    brat!
    
    Karen

    Karen,
    
    No, no, no.  It wasn't Lightning that jumped out the window.  It
    was DejaVu and Starfyre.
    
    As to BRAT.  That's DejaVu.
    
    Sandi (Lightning's & DejaVu's mom and Starfyre's grandmom)