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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO
Created:Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5089
Total number of notes:60366

1015.0. "Why is she acting like this??" by MEMV04::BULLOCK (Flamenco--NOT flamingo!!) Tue Jan 05 1988 11:30

    I could use some help on this one, please...
    
    I've had my Billie for nearly 10 years.  She and I lived alone in
    an apartment for most of that time;  I admit I spoiled her rotten
    in many ways.  She is an indoor cat, very healthy and happy, and
    quite loving.
    
    A little over a year ago, I moved in with my now-fiance, and of
    course brought Billie.  My fiance has had pets in the past;  cats
    and dogs, and was always one for training and discipline.  So it
    took us all a few months to get adjusted to the new regime--but
    up until this weekend I felt everything had worked out alright.
    
    The problem is this--she appears to be VERY scared of my fiance
    from time to time.  Not all the time;  usually it happens after
    he has yelled at her for something like getting up on the furniture
    or scratching at the rug.  These are things I yell at her for also--
    she has ALWAYS known she'll get hollered at for SOME things--even
    in the good old days with just she and me.  One of the biggest problems
    is that she wakes him up (he's a very light sleeper in the early
    morning) extremely early (3:30 am) with her loud purring, rubbing,
    and "chirping".  I'm used to it;  and had just patted her and rolled
    over.  But it bothered him so much he finally just got up (at 3:30)
    and stayed up.  What aggravated him even more is that she has food
    in her dish, so it can't be hunger.  We started a new practice with
    her months ago where she gets 3/4 of a can of her food in the morning,
    then gets the remaining food at night to get her thru the night.
    He doesn't like to wake me when this happens;  he just gets up.
    I hate for this to become a real problem between us;  obviously
    I love them both.  I came up with a solution we'll try tonight:
    instead of giving Billie the remaining food right when I get home
    from work, I'll give it to her later in the evening.  Then in the
    morning when she wakes him up, I've told him not to mess with her,
    but wake ME up and I'll deal with her.
    
    What bothers me is that she acts very afraid of him--even after
    months of getting along fine with him.  I think his voice frightens
    her;  I think when he yells at her she remembers it for a long time.
    When she gets this way, all she has to do is SEE him and she gets
    very low to the ground and skitters off to hide (then sleep) in
    the closet--one of her sleeping haunts.  If I go in to her right
    after, she acts like she does at the vet's--gets very close to the
    wall, and curls her tail very tightly around her.  All I have to
    do is talk to her or pat her and she's ok;  but it takes her a long
    time to come out.
    
    I apologize for this being so lengthy--I could really use some advice
    at this point.  I thought I knew a lot about cats, but I have not
    seen this before, and it bothers the hell out of me.
    
    Any ideas or suggestions would really help me now--thanks.
    
    Jane
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1015.1WELSWS::CLIFTONTue Jan 05 1988 12:0114
    I know this is not much consolation, but our two cats Sooty and
    Sox tend to get very active about the same time in the morning.
    It is much of a dilema for us too since in the evening when we are
    just about to hit the hay both of the cats are fast asleep and we
    feel extremely reluctant to put them out.  However, trial and error
    have proven that leaving them in will only result in many fun and
    games at about 3.00 in the morning.
    
    I think either your fiance will have to adapt or your Billie's
    Kitty-clock will need adjusting, and since the latter is impossible
    well ....
    
    Paul. (@WLO)
    
1015.3CIRCUS::KOLLINGKaren, Sweetie, Holly; in Calif.Tue Jan 05 1988 13:0911
    Generalization:  cats do seem to be more likely to be frightened
    by men than by women.  For a long time I harbored dark suspicions
    about why this was, along the lines of who did what to them when
    they were abandoned, and so forth.  But I've come to think that
    a lot of it is that men appear more threatening to them, because
    their voices are louder, they're bigger, they aren't so careful
    about where they walk, and so forth.  I think if your SO makes an
    effort to be very gentle and quiet with your puss it might help.
    My cats know when I have disapproval in my voice, without my yelling.
    
1015.4Not Korats!FIDDLE::HTAYLORYour CHOCOLATE or your LIFE!!Tue Jan 05 1988 13:2115
    RE: -1
    
    Sorry to say this, but not Korats!  Silver LOVES my fiance!  Whenever
    he comes into the house and she is sitting on my lap, she immediately
    goes over to him and jumps up on his lap and begins to purr LOUDLY!
    
    Of course, I am the one who feeds her and changes her litter regularly!
    There's No justice when it comes to Korats! :-)
    
    Then again, Tom has never yelled at them for anything.  I am always
    the person who will yell at them for "Doing their nails" on the
    rug and furniture.  I'm also the one who squirts them for that and
    for trying to get at Charlie the bird.  
    
    Holly
1015.5NO YELLINGVAXWRK::DUDLEYWed Jan 06 1988 12:126
    Sounds like there might be a tad too much yelling in your
    house.  Pets are no different than children, they are
    frightened of yelling.  Lower the decibels a bit, you 
    can still 'scold' effectively without yelling.
    
    Donna
1015.6It's getting better!MEMV04::BULLOCKFlamenco--NOT flamingo!!Wed Jan 06 1988 12:5913
    Thanks everyone for your help--so far, feeding Billie later on in
    the evening is helping.  She and I slept uninterrupted until 4:45
    this morning when the alarm went off!  I appreciate the support
    from this notesfile--when anything seems wrong with Billie I can't
    rest until I know what it is.
    
    ...5--you're right about the yelling.  Now if you can just give
    me some suggestions on teaching Pete not to yell?! ;-)  Maybe I
    could withhold HIS food until he behaves better...
    
    Thanks,
    
    Jane
1015.7BUSY::MAXMIS11Serendipity 'R' usWed Jan 06 1988 13:096
    RE:  .6  -  YELLING
    
    My sister insists that the only way she can keep her cats off her
    kitchen counters is to "stun them with sound waves %^}". 
    
    Marion
1015.9clapping?MAGI::DUDLEYWed Jan 06 1988 14:5610
    re .6
    
    Well, how about asking him if he would try to refrain
    from yelling.  It's hard if it's something you've been
    brought up with and have developed as a habit yourself.
    But, it's a good habit to break.  Maybe when he sees
    the cat doing something wrong, he could try to clap 
    his hands loudly, instead of yelling.
    
    Donna
1015.10A mad Curtain Climber!!FIDDLE::HTAYLORYour CHOCOLATE or your LIFE!!Wed Jan 06 1988 15:0423
    Karen,
    	Yelling and spanking usually doesn't work on my cats either.
     When you mentioned spanking, it made me think of a funny incident
    that happened this weekend.
    
    Tabbatha was sitting on the end table next to the window.  All of
    the sudden she decided to try and climb the curtains!  I grabbed
    her, very sternly said "NO" and put her down on the floor.  Not
    even a minute later she was back up on the table and trying to climb
    the curtains again!  I again grabbed her and even more sternly said
    "NO" and patted her behind once.  A third time she did the same
    thing but this time she was climbing where I couldn't reach her
    from the chair I was in.  I got up, grabbed her, VERY STERNLY said
    "NO" and patted her behind three times and put her down.  She ran
    into the hallway, let out three LOUD cries and ran back into the
    living room up across the couch and jumped down and furiously started
    batting one of her toys around.  SHE WAS MAD AT HER MOMMY!!!
    
    Holly
    
    p.s. in case anyone is thinking I am an animal beater, I'm not.
     They were very light pats.  Just enough to let her know that I
    meant it.
1015.11MARRHQ::KORCHNAKWed Jan 06 1988 15:305
    What my *SO* and I have found that works wonders are those
    semi-automatic water guns that make a noise when you shoot them
    (battery operated). Now, all we have to do is point the gun at them,
    they wince their eyes, meow once, then go lay down. Don't even have
    to say NO! 
1015.12I'm BAD, and you know it ...VAXWRK::DUDLEYWed Jan 06 1988 15:379
    The other thing that must be considered is how often and
    for what is your fiance yelling at her.  You don't mention
    this in your base note.  At some point you (generic you, not
    you specifically) have to reconcile yourself to the fact that
    your pet is a cat, not a goldfish.  Cats are by nature climbers
    and jumpers and it's hard to quelch that entirely.  Is she
    really being that bad, or is she just being a cat?
    
    Donna
1015.13C. A. T.BUFFER::FUSCIDEC has it (on backorder) NOW!Wed Jan 06 1988 16:138
We use the "Cat Adjustment Tool".  The C.A.T. is an adjustable plant 
mister, adjusted to shoot a stream of water.  It's like a squirt gun, but 
with lots more range and lots more water.

These really work.  (And you're more apt to already have a plant mister
than a battery-operated UZI water gun (^8 ...) 

Ray
1015.14But I like water, mommy!FIDDLE::HTAYLORYour CHOCOLATE or your LIFE!!Wed Jan 06 1988 16:208
    RE:  the C.A.T.
    
    This only works when your cat hates water whic most cats do.
    Unfortunately, my Tabbatha just sits there while you squirt her!
    She doesn't mind water a bit unless it gets un her paws.  Then she'll
    shake the paw until it dries!
    
    Holly
1015.15MARRHQ::KORCHNAKWed Jan 06 1988 16:206
    BTW: the UZI was more my husband's idea (it's his 'Cat conversation
    piece' -- says it's punishment for the cat, but I get more punishment
    than they do.) HOWEVER, it does work for them!
    
    (I also used the mister -- when I was away they'd attack it)
    
1015.17Sometimes a loud NO! just doesn't work...JAWS::COTEDay=6, Smokes=0 (Normally 240) $18!!Thu Jan 07 1988 09:003
    ...should have used it to adjust your guest's behavior.
    
    Edd
1015.18Sounds good to me 8^)32289::FUSCIDEC has it (on backorder) NOW!Sat Jan 09 1988 11:097
re: 1015.17

>    ...should have used it to adjust your guest's behavior.

***GREAT*** idea!!

Ray_who's_thinking_of_the_next_cat_club_meeting
1015.19patience!MOSAIC::C_ANDERSONTue Jan 19 1988 12:3731
    Jane:
    
    It sounds like the problem is more than just food. Moving is traumatic,
    even for humans. Even though it's been about a year, Billie may
    still need some more time. And it sounds as if your fiance does
    also.
    
    Waking him up at 3:00 am when her bowl has food in it could be because
    she wants attention. If you both work all day that means she's alone
    and at night no doubt your paying attention to you fiance where
    when Billie was used to being the only one at home with you. A cat
    can't be trained or disciplined like a dog, which you must know
    after 10 years. Maybe your fiance could use a book on cats, not
    you. Sometime finding something out from a "third party" (i.e. a
    book on cat care) will help it sink in more than hearing it from
    a
     significant other (that would mean one of you was wrong, the other
    right. Why introduce competition?)
    
    I think Billie needs a little more attention directed specifilly
    at her (a new toy? a pet playhouse?) and your fiance needs to
    discipline at a lower decible. If it's just been you and Billie
    for 10 years, of course this is a new behavior problem because it's
    a new situation. 
    
    It's too bad animals can't talk and let us know what they're thinking
    and feeling isn't it? I bet its more than just hunger for food.
    
    Good luck.
    
    
1015.20valium for cat stressGORT::MIDTTUNThu Jan 21 1988 12:5126
    I also have a "problem cat", but she's under control now. We've
    had her for 3-4 years now and have moved in and out of various
    apartments and we never had a problem til the last move. She's always
    been a very "needy" cat when it comes to requiring affection but
    all of a sudden, about 6 months after our move, she started craving
    MORE attention and began grooming herself ALL the time. It got so
    bad that she had licked off most of the fur on her hind legs before
    the vet found a way to help her. First, my vet tried cortisone
    injections and prescribed LOTS of attention. It worked for only
    a short while until she was up to her old tricks. Then, the vet
    suggested giving my poor kitty VALIUM!  I was thunderstruck, but
    the vet said she'd been having very good luck using minimal doses
    to help stressed-out animals. The only other alternative was hormone
    shots, which can apparantly lead to feline diabetes. So, I reluctantly
    decided to give it a try. Basically, the approach is to give the
    cat a very small dose each day for a week or two, and then taper
    it off slowly...i.e. half doses for a while, half doses every other
    day, every 2-3 days , once a week etc. Of course, the LOTS of attention
    perscription was still in place too. It worked wonders!!! I'm not
    generally an advocate for this kind of thing (humans as well as
    animals) but apparantly it (the valium and the attention) was just
    what the kitty needed to get over the trauma of the move. She's
    been just fine for about a year now! My vet is Susan Horowitz at
    Sleepy Hollow in Groton, MA. If all else fails, this might be an
    alternative you might want to explore. Good Luck!
    
1015.21SIMUL8::RAVANTryin' to make it realThu Jan 21 1988 14:585
    Re .20: sounds similar to Abigail's problems. She, too, benefited
    wonderfully from a short course of tranquilizers, and has been fine
    ever since. It's certainly worth asking the vet about.
    
    -b