Conference misery::feline_v1

    Well, first of all, the next time he makes an appearance, _shower_
    him with affection.  New kittens may give him a feeling of extreme
    insecurity; make him know he's well loved.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    Next time he shows up, don't let him back out. Groom him (using
    some of that lanolin smelling grooming spray) and try to groom the
    kittens with it also. Try to keep him in for a day or so so that
    his curiosity will get to him and he'll go over and smell the little
    ones. Cats are very smell sensitive, and this is a common way to get
    adults to accept a new cat in the household.
    
    Deb
    
    P.S. Neutering would probably help a lot

    I don't know if there's a difference between male and female adult
    cats accepting kittens, there probably is.  My female adult also
    did the hissing and swatting at the kitten, but since they are both
    indoor cats, she couldn't escape.  This went on for a about a week,
    as I got more and more upset, since I got the kitten FOR the adult
    to play with.  But by giving the adult cat lots of affection she
    became confident she was not being replaced.  Now, they are the
    best of friends, they play together and groom each other.
    
    So like the previous replies said, lock him in and give him attention.
    In time he'll change.
    

    We did the same thing... got a new kitten to keep our (then) two-year
    old male (Sebastion) company during the day since we both work.  At
    first I thought it was a big mistake... he was already neutered, and
    still hissed and growled.  He is a big cat, and I was really afraid
    that he would seriously harm the tiny kitten (who, by the way was
    absolutely fearless and has been madly in love with him from day one).
    Well, our older cat had been my very best friend and buddy since before
    I was married, and I felt terribly guilty for doing such a thing. It
    was winter, so he didn't go outside, but still gave me the stony stare
    and "how could you do this to me?" looks.  Anyway, i decided that the
    new kitten, who was extremely affectionate, could stand to be take the
    back seat for a little while.  Sebastion wouldn't eat out of the same
    dish or even stay in the same room with her, and hissed (as I said) at
    her, and she was completely oblivious to his mood.  So, I set up a
    separate food dish for him up on a table (she was still too small to
    jump up) and just showered him with attention making him feel like the
    king (of course I loved the kitten too, when he wasn't looking).  He
    just thought she was so immature.  He even got to sleep with us while
    she had to stay in the kitchen.  Eventually she won him over on her own
    by following him around and playing with his tail (come on, can't we be
    friends?) and flattering him etc. and they are best buddies now.  Every
    once in a while when Sebastion gets mad about it raining outside or
    something he'll get cranky, and hiss at her, and she'll just ignore
    him, but other than that, they're great pals (secret sweethearts?) 
                   
    So, to make a long story short, I agree with the rest about giving
    it time, and our bonus is that Sebastion is MUCH more affectionate
    than he was before, which we attribute to his having company (someone
    to talk to) during the day.  Claude (our new kitten) didn't miss
    the attention at first because she wasn't used to having any in
    the first place, and we have since made up for it.  Oh, Sebastion
    still watches me with one eye when I pet Claude, but he knows he's
    still my most special kitty friend. 
    
    So, good luck, and be patient, they will work it out for themselves. 
    Sebastion acted just like your cat does - to the letter.  I bet
    you could keep both of them as easily as you could keep one.
     
    
    P.S.  I would agree with not letting him go outside, instead, keep him
    in and make an effort to play with him or groom him (like someone else
    suggested) or just love him to death instead. 

    I am amazed that this has happened to someone else!  Zildjian was
    two when we got Spunky and it took her three weeks to even accept
    her.  I wish I knew then what I know now.  We had spoiled Zildjian
    sooooo much that it just wasn't fair.  My husband and I felt terrible
    after we got the kitten.  We thought we were doing Zildjian a favor
    but it turned out that she would have been happier without Spunky.
    She was so jealous.  But, after time she got use to Spunky and now
    they get along pretty good.  Zildjian hisses every now and then,
    but Spunky is bigger than her so she backs off (why is my sister
    hissing at me, I just want to play).  
    
    We do have to really baby Zildjian, though, because of the way we
    spoiled her before.  But Spunky gets the attention she needs, and
    we learned that when we pay attention to Zildjian (she loves to
    sit on our chests and purrrrr) we do it privately (away from Spunky)
    and that way she feels superior.  What a baby!!!!  but she will
    always be "my kitty" and I am thankful that Spunky is the fun-loving
    kittycat that she is.  They are both real spoiled!!  Oh well.
    
    I agree - they will work it out themselves.
    
    Hang in there - baby!!
    
    

    We're experiencing the same problem, only that our cat is an eight
    year old spay female siamese.  We bought a male siamese kitten last
    night and as soon as we brought him into the house, Loree (our older
    cat) started with the hissing and growling.  The new kitten doesn't
    seem to know what to do - he does seem scared of Loree, because
    his fur goes up and he cries.  Loree always sleeps with us, so last
    night I thought that we should let her sleep with us as usual and
    we left the kitten in the living room.  Neither my husband nor I
    got much sleep last night, because the kitten was crying all night
    long - we think that he was scared - he had never been alone before.  
    Finally at about 4:30, my husband felt so bad for the kitten that he 
    got up and brought her into the bedroom with us.  Loree was on the
    bed too (sleeping), but soon she realized that she wasn't the only
    cat in the bed and hissed and growled and ran off.  This morning
    she's even hissing and growling at me!  I have been trying to give
    her as much attention as I can (as previous notes say), but I must
    admit that I'm pretty apprehensive about what is going to go on
    in the house today while we're both at work.
    
    I know that they will most likely work things out on their own in
    time, but I'm nervous about the situation... Is there anything that
    we can do (besides 'trying' to give Loree lots of attention) that
    will make the adjustment easier and quicker?
    
    thanks for the support!
    
    Cathy
    

    Re .6:
    
    > .,......................................Is there anything that
    >we can do (besides 'trying' to give Loree lots of attention) that
    >will make the adjustment easier and quicker? 
    
    Yes.  Get a second kitten as playmate/companion for the first, and
    do it _fast_.  The kitten(s) then won't be lonely, and you can devote
    more attention to Loree.  Two kittens won't upset her any more than
    one.
    
    I had a similar problem with Angelica, when she was 17, but I had
    two, and (after running away from them for a few days), she gave
    up and let them "adopt" her.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    Steve,
    
    Thanks for the suggestion...  it does sound like a good one, but
    three cats is too much for us (at least right now).  Thinking back,
    I really wish that we had gotten the kitten on a Friday night -
    that way, we could have spent two entire days with them, rather than
    leaving them to their own devices!  
    
    Cathy_who_can't_wait_to_get_home_tonight!
    

    This usually will happen when you bring a cat or kitten into a
    household where there is already a kitty. Your original cat is letting
    the newcomer know that she is the boss. It usually takes three to
    four weeks before they become friends. after this they will more
    than likely become inseperable. Especially if your first cat is
    siamese. They love to have playmates. Good luck and it will work
    out alright.
    							Geoff

    Well.... both Loree and the kitten were alive when we got home!
    My husband found Loree hiding behind the furnace in the basement
    and the kitten hiding behind the couch in the living room... that's
    as far apart as they could possibly be in our house!  I went straight
    to Loree and started petting, brushing and just loving her for most
    of the night.  She even started to purr a couple of times.  (BIG
    improvement!)  She still wants nothing to do with the kitten, but
    this morning she even ventured into the living room (until she saw
    the kitten - when she promptly ran away!).  All in all, I'd say
    that we're making wonderful progress, seeing as though it's only
    been a day and a half.
    
    We want to thank everyone so much for all the reassurance and support.
    It's just so hard to see the cat that you love and who has loved
    you for so long, be soooo miserable.
    
    Cathy
    

    When I first got Neula to be a companion to The Fickle, who is about
    six months older, Neb lived behind the refrigerator for most of
    the first two weeks I had her.  I got her on a Friday, and was really
    concerned about what would happen while I was at work on Monday.
    They sorted things out themselves, though, and after a few more
    weeks became good friends.  i think the turning point was when Nebula,
    who was only about 8 weeks old, figured out that the large hissing
    creature was a female cat and decided to try to suckle, not being
    completely weaned when I got her.  Then The Fickle descovered that
    the small, noisy, fast-moving, scarey little creature her pet human
    had brought home was a small CAT, instead of a dog or some other
    "dangerous" animal (she is a very timid kitty), and I found the
    two of them curled up on a chair, purring away!  Neb wasn't getting
    much "nourishment" from Fickle, who had just been spayed a month
    or two earlier (after her first heat), and was eating plenty of
    kitten food, so maybe she was mostly lonely rather than hungry.
    
    They get on fine now, with Nebula usually running the show (being
    half Siamese) unless he gets too far out of line, when The Fickle
    will whack her on the nose as if Neb were still a kitten.  This
    usually causes Neb to back down from whatever mischief she was causing,
    such as trying to crawl in between a human and JFCL when the human
    is petting her and Neb wants some attention too.