Conference back40::soapbox

    
    I'd like to suggest, first of all, that he have a specially equipped
    mosquito net jumpsuit made up, for rumour has it that those little
    critters up there are the size of dinner plates.
    
    

    I heard that Andy was already well equipped. No?

  gizmos to cover up his eyes so he can sleep while it's bright out
 at 3AM.



 Jim

    
    
    	I recommended a Freedom Arms Casull .454, but he has already
    informed me he can't afford one (neither can I). :*)
    
    
    jim

    
    	The Alaskans are fairly intelligent, I hear, so Andy will no
    	doubt have to bring his own Spam since he'll be unable to buy
    	any when he gets there.
    

    He should bring some Imodium in case of
    
    
    WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!

    Well, all Andy or anyone really needs to take on a trip is
    
    ME!

    Ronco Oil Remover

    
    	Not sure about Andy, but I think I'd need a week's vacation to
    	recover from a week's vacation like that.
    

    Andy's gonna need a companion to keep 'em compamy on those long
    excursions between population centers....

    There's a Gilliganism in there somewhere, but I'm too tired....

    Flies, the tied kind.  There will be plenty of other types of flies up
    there of the biting kind which means he will need a pith helmet with
    mesh neck apron to keep them out.  A tufted "sheepskin" headband to
    keep his flies at the ready on his head.  
    
    Waders, green, felt soles.
    
    A safari vest with a lot of pockets to keep film, his roach clip, er,
    forceps clipped to and a lanyard for his Swiss army knife with mirror
    to see the flies stuck to his pith helmet with sheepskin headband.
    
    Heavy canvas pants with zip off legs which will never be used as the
    flies would use his legs as a buffet the second the legs were zipped
    off.  Matching canvas shirt, long-sleeved.  
    
    Soft hiking boots with non-aggressive soles to prevent damage to the
    perma frost and to squish the flies that are stunned but not dead yet.
    
    Wool socks, several pair, to be worn all at once as the flies will chew
    through a singel layer.  Consider neoprene if you aren't going to be
    wading in toxic solvents.  
    
    Custom built 9' fly rod, graphite, with several reels wound with varying
    weights of line and leader combinations.  
    
    Compartmentalized camera bag with locations for wide angle, telefoto
    and extra long lenses.  
    
    Bacitracin and band-aids for the inevitable cuts and contusions from 
    falling on rocks and logs, fish hook punctures, and being mauled by brown 
    bears.  A home amputation kit is always a handy thing to have.   
    
    Deep Woods Off (tm) in the 64 oz. size can.  You don't actually spray
    it on but use the can to club the sparrow sized mosquitoes and biting
    flies into submission.  
    
    A complete Coleman starter set including dual fuel two burner stove,
    and double mantel lantern. 
    
    18' Old town cargo canoe with paddles and PFDs.  
    
    4 man Northface VE22 expedition quality tent with vestibule and rain
    fly.  
    
    Lowe Contour IV internal frame pack, expandable to 6500 cu.in.
    
    Sweetwater designs water purification system with optional viral
    filtration system and spare filter cartridge.  
    
    Camera of choice with a variety of lenses and filters.  Several hundred
    rolls of film and two sets of spare batteries.  
    
    64 oz. bottle of Mount Gay rum. 
    
    Four rolls of toilet paper. 
    
    Nestable mess kit with knife, spoon, fork combo.  
    
    Mini-maglite, AA batteries and three spare bulbs.  
    
    Compass with mirror, so you know where you are going even though you 
    don't know where that is.  The mirror is to signal passing S.A.R.
    planes or use in a vain attempt to blind the bear that is about to maul
    you.  Warning, cannot be used at night.  
    
    Topo maps of the quadrangle you are in and all immediately adjacent 
    quadrangles.  
    
    Whistle on lanyard to hang around your neck for when you get lost.   
    
    Thermal Spiderman Underoos, with drop seat option.  
    
    Sunglasses.   
    
    Supertankers of the World flash cards.  See if you can spot the Valdez!  
    
    A give Alaska back to the Alaskans t-shirt.  Always a hit around
    fishing camps and oil rigs.  
    
    Journal and pen to record your final moments as the flies n' skeeters give 
    you an involuntary, one way transfusion.  
    	
    Benadryl to quell the itching, swollen welts left by the flies and
    skeeters, if you survive that is.  
    
    A book or two to read.  Something by Jack London may be approriate, or
    not.  
    
    That should do for starters..
    
    Brian

    A take home, do it yourself Hary Cary Kit.

    The Monty Python Inuktituk-to-English Phrasebook. Containing essential
    elements of Inuit communication such as:
    
    	"I'll have the fermented blubber please, medium rare."
    
    	"Your harpoon is digging in my nether regions."
    
    	"Nice thought your wife is, I prefer to sleep alone."
    
    	"This sealskin underwear is giving me hives."
    
    	"Please help me climb out of this icehole"
    
    	"help, a polar bear is eating my testicles"

    That book was published in order to cause a breach of the peace.

    Syberian water roller skis
    Inflatable left handed water raft
    sled dogs
    sled
    video tapes of 'Sargent Preston of the U-kon'(sp)
    an instant ticket for a flight home
    video tapes of 'Northern Exposure' all re-runs
    T shirt of Moose and Squirrel
    

    
    
    Thanks, Brian..
    
    But much of the camping equipment won't be needed. We've rented a 22
    ft. RV (linens, pots/pans/utensils included).
    
    We won't be roughing it as much as some think... :)
    

    
    Andy, bring me back a kodiak bear, please.

    You want that with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles and hots?

    bear burger breakfast, bluuuuuurgh.

If he's driving there, he'll need some solid-rocket boosters to strap
on his car, 'cause it'll take a LONG time to get there.

Hope this helps.
\john

    RV - that's fun - folks go up every year...   I get bored living in
    a mobile house and prefer the ground.  If you really want fun - get 
    flown back into nowhere land with 2 backpack's full of what you need 
    and live/hunt/fish.   Nothing like waking up to a foot of snow on the
    ground and taking a dip in the lake.
    

    > CSC32::C_BENNETT
    
    > I get bored living in a mobile house
    
    Move to Kansas in a mobile home, you'll get all the excitement you
    want..
    
    hint: go see Twister

    
    re: .23
    
    Not an option this year (maybe next).
    
    The trip came up pretty quick, and besides not being able to find a
    guide who's not booked solid, the cost (this year) is prohibitive.
    
    I enjoy the "rough" life... A back-pack and tent are a lot cheaper than
    an RV @ $105.00/day plus .12 cents a mile...
    
    This trip will be an exploratory adventure more than anything
    else. None of us has been to Alaska so it's virgin territory, so to
    speak...

    Adventure man has spoken!

    Adventure man?  Yeah, right.  Just like William F. Buckley Jr. is a
    serious high seas voyager.  
    
    "....We shoved off on the morning tide after the butler fixed us
    shallot and plum tomato omelets served with a nicely chilled
    Chardonnay.  It would be a hard trip and we would really need to rough
    it.  Our provisions were barely civlized.  Only 17 cases of red wines
    and 13 cases of white aboard would hardly see us through our first leg
    to Hawaii........"  from Racing Through Paradise. 
    
    RV indeed.....
    
    Brian

    
    <-------- you forgot the "but, I'm not bitter" part. other than that
    it was very good. A- to A

    BTW Andrew, you never gave us your itinerary.  Where are you going in
    AK?  In all seriousness, I hope you get a chance to check out the area
    around Valdez.  The mountains come right down to the sea.  Some of the
    best extreme skiing to be found, anywhere.  

    
    >around Valdez.  The mountains come right down to the sea.  Some of the
    
    
    	And the boats come right up to the mountains.
    

    
    re: itinerary
    
    Sorry... what a social faux pas... my apologies... :) :)
    
    Flying into Anchorage... on the 6th
    
    Picking up RV on the 7th...
    
    Heading north to Danali State Park and will be stopping hither and yon
    and/or wherever the mood strikes us...
    
     The RV has a park sticker, allowing us entrance and camping at any
    park in the state...
    
     We plan on covering 2K miles, at least. 
    
    This is a very hit-or-miss operation... we have maps of Mt. McKinley
    and various glaciers in/around the area...
    
     Planning on going out to the Bay of Alaska on the 14th or 15th to do
    some sea fishing... The reports are that there's 300-400 lb. haddock
    out there...
    

>    This is a very hit-or-miss operation... we have maps of Mt. McKinley

	Mt. McKinley is hard to miss.
	

    
    I'm Polish... remember???
    

    The boats go right up to the mountains so that you can water ski.
    
    enjoy!

    
    I would really love to see a glacier calf, up close...
    
     But I wouldn't want to be near it on water skis...
    

    > Planning on going out to the Bay of Alaska on the 14th or 15th to do
    >some sea fishing... The reports are that there's 300-400 lb. haddock
    >out there...
    
     Bwahahaha! That's halibut. The world's biggest haddock is << 100 lbs.

"Not tonight, dear.  I have the world's biggest haddock."

    
    Okay... okay... so I'm so excited I got my fish mixed up!!!
    
    You want me to start a penultimate argument about fish with you???
    

    I've haddock up to here with these puns!
    

    
    	A fish is a fish is a fish.
    

    So I guess we've established that Andy's going fishing
    just for the hailbut......
    
    

    >You want me to start a penultimate argument about fish with you???
    
     Why? So you can argue with me that haddock really is the right fish
    for 12 bazillion notes only to assert that haddock is a regionalism for
    halibut accepted by 70% of the population that haven't hacked two
    people to death with a knife? ;)

    hailbut?

    
    re: .42
    
    Eggzactly!!!!!
    
    
    

<---Mr Burns!

    halibut is that pre-historic-looking fishy.

    That would be Sturgeon

    
    re: .46
    
    >halibut is that pre-historic-looking fishy.
    
    Yes, but, who's history?? The repubs or dems????
    

    no, no!  they pulled in a halibut!  i sawer it!

    re: .47
    
    Well, if you keep cutting up all these haddock and
    halibut, they will certainly need a Sturgeon.....
    

    
    >Yes, but, who's history??
    
    
    	As of last week, Dr. Steve Hardy is history.
    

    
    
    >As of last week, Dr. Steve Hardy is history.
    
    
     Do we believe the jury...or the verdict?? Both, or none??
    

    Bonnie, I think you meant to say, you seen it get pulled in onto the
    boat.  hth, nnttm

    then they shawt the halibut.  in the head.

    
    a fish by any other name is still a fish. just remember andrew, that
    halibut gives you bad breath. or was that halitosis???? anyhoo....
    enjoy, and bring me back my kodiak bear.

    Equip him with a carton 'o trojans.

    That and a 6 pack or twenty of Fosters.

    >halibut is that pre-historic-looking fishy.
    
     Not as prehistoric looking as a coelacanth. (One of those "we thought
    you wuz extinct" types before one was brought up off the coast of
    Africa.)

    Don't forget the:
    
    GPS unit
    
    Flare gun (and flares)
    
    Black Flag Moose and Bear Repellent
    
    and whilst there, 
    
    if you make it to Talkeetna, check out Evil Alice's...

    Been in the park 4 times and still haven't seen Mt. McKinley - its
    clouded over alot.
    

Halibut just looks like a big flounder. Swims like one, too; flat, rather
than upright. And, 100 to 200 pounds would be more like it, not 300-400.

HTH, NNTTM, YMMV, BNE,

Art

    Eric the fish was an Halibut.

>Halibut just looks like a big flounder. Swims like one, too; flat, rather
>than upright. And, 100 to 200 pounds would be more like it, not 300-400.
    
    100-200 lbs is the average size, but "barn door" sized halibut in
    excess of 400 lbs are not that uncommon up there.

    
    that is one hellva lot of fish to eat.

    
    
    One promise I made myself, was that I would only drink until dark...

 I wonder if you can get a good deal on Eskimo Pies up there?

    
    andy, forget the bear. bring back Alaskan King Crab legs instead, tons
    in fact.

    
    
    Er... by the time I get home from Alaska, and ship them to Chicago,
    they me be a bit... ripe??
    
     Tell you what... get me the name and I'll ship them directly to the
    sandwich machine vendor in your building!!!
    
    
     :)
    

    .68    Er... by the time I get home from Alaska, and ship them to Chicago,
    .68    they me be a bit... ripe??
    
    There are companies who will pack fish in ice and ship.   You
    may want to look into that if you are worried about your
    fish going bad...

By the way, a friend of mine who hiked in Alaska very year for about
twenty years prepared himself each year by (among other things) stoking
up with vitamin B. While he was there he always ate loads of garlic. Both
items cause natural bug repellant to be given off by your skin. He swore
by both of these.

Art

 Will they pack up the eskimo pies?

    andy, two words:  smoked salmon

    
    
    >andy, two words:  smoked salmon
    
    Bonnie... what?? Is that what I should be equipped with??  :) :)
    

    try it when you're there.  it melts in your mouth.
    i hear it keeps well on the return flight, too. ;-)

    Preferably on a bagel, with cream cheese and a nice thick
    slice of red onion.  Good lox is to die for!
    

    Cold smoked salmon. Totally delish.

    
    An apple and salt shaker.....

    
    gee, I'm surprised Brian missed this one on his list...
    
    	AVON's SKIN so SOFT insect repellent. Avon finally got the word
    	obviously since I actually saw an ad for this product as an
    	insect repellent + moisturiser + sunscreen!
    
    So Andy, I'm a pretty darn good navigator -- need one?? Flying
    from SF to Anchorage will be a breeze.
    

    
    
    Bought some stuff what's 1000% DEET... I think I have a better chance
    vs. AVON's SKIN so SOFT...
    
    
    >So Andy, I'm a pretty darn good navigator -- need one?? 
    
    I do believe you can probably have that privilege... for, oh... $750.00
    or so...
    
     ;) ;)
    

    
    <--- but, she doesn't do windows. that's extra

    
    
    	1000% DEET? Dang! Where'd ya get that stuff? I want some. I can
    imagine that it's to be applied sparingly. :)
    
    	jim

    
    
    Jim,
    
     Local store here in Milford, N.H. (County Store) carries it. If'n you
    want, I can go get you some and mail it out before I leave...
    
    Lemme know...
    

    
    
    Dang!!!!!
    
    Ten whole days without newspapers, sports, TV, movies, Pres. Clinton
    and her husband, Whitewater, etc, etc, etc,.....
    
    
    How will I ever get to wash my hair????????
    

    
    
    	re: .83
    
    	If'n you'd care to mail me a care package containing this toxic
    substance, I would be much obliged! I'll send you mail offline....
    
    jim

    
    andy, don't forget the crab legs.

    
    and bring me back a polar bear!!!!!
    
    

 ...and I want an Eskimo pie!

    
    I want some Baked Alaska!
                 

I want some Alaskan Mosquitoes to feed on the New Hampshire Blackflies.

(OK - settle down, Phil. I was only kidding.)

     Five Hundred Evacuated, Up to 50 Homes Destroyed in Fire North of
     Anchorage

     By Associated Press, 06/04/96

     BIG LAKE, Alaska (AP) - A fast-moving wildfire destroyed as many as 50
     homes and forced the evacuation of at least 500 people, authorities
     said today.

     No injuries were reported from the fire, which has covered 1,500 acres
     in the area 60 miles north of Anchorage, said Katie Markin, a
     spokeswoman for the state Division of Forestry.

     The fire broke out Sunday and was nearly controlled Monday before
     strong winds, gusting to 40 mph, fanned the flames late in the day.

     Heavy smoke and intense heat had made it difficult to determine the
     extent of the damage, but 30 to 50 homes are believed to have been
     lost, Markin said.

     An estimated 500 or more people lived in the largely wooded areas
     covered by the evacuation order. Residents gathered at the Big Lake
     Elementary School where Red Cross volunteers had set up a shelter.
     Then, when the fire approached the elementary school, the shelter was
     moved to Wasilla High School.

     About 100 firefighters from the state forestry division, Fort
     Richardson and local fire companies were battling the fire this
     morning.

     Markin said investigators believe the fire is human-caused. There was
     some evidence it might have been caused by fireworks, but officials
     also were investigating other possibilities, she said.

     Crews have been hindered by pilots of small planes flying over the
     fire, apparently to sightsee, Markin said. Three aircraft have come in
     close contact with aerial tankers making water drops on the fire,
     including one that came within 150 feet of a tanker Sunday night, she
     said.

     The fire blanketed much of south-central Alaska with heavy smoke this
     morning.

    Add an asbestos blanket to things Andy needs to take with.  

    
    
    Just finished packing it... thanks...
    

    hope you didn't pack that bread maker!!!!!
    
    

    
    >hope you didn't pack that bread maker!!!!!
    
    Nope.... it should be humming away, and baking that crusty french bread
    tonight...
    

    
    
    {{{{{slurp}}}}}
    
    
    

    
    
    Bye..y'all...
    
    
    See you when I return...

    
    or sooner...
    
    :> :>
    
    

    BTW:
    there is a *HUGE* fire between fairbanks and anchorage at the moment,
    10k acres burned, and the thing ain't controlled at the moment.
    
    take your firefighting equipment.. you'll need it!

    
    
    	Andy snarf!
    

    
    i'm tellin' sharon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
    
    

    I advised him not to rub noses with any Eskimoes, 'cuz he might
    get a case of snyphilis (or is that sniffle-is)...

    
    
    	re: raq
    
    	Ummmm.........  she said it was ok.  Yeah, that's it.   =)
    

    
    
    I'm back... will let you know how the trip went after I catch up on a
    few weeks of sleep.
    
     Stay tuned... this may take as long as me stayin awake for a musical!
    

    
    Hey 8^p!
    
    

    
    are the crab legs on ice?

why would andy put his legs on ice?

    
    re: .106
    
    > are the crab legs on ice?
    
    Sorry, Mark... didn't get near the ocean this trip...
    
    
    Oh, BTW...
    
    Took great pictures of Mt. Deborah (12,399 ft.) standing tall amongst
    some lesser peaks...
    

    
    
    	There's a mountain named after mz_deb? {gasp}

Tell them about the bear,  Andy!

    
    << Took great pictures of Mt. Deborah (12,399 ft) standing tall
    against lesser peaks.
    
    yes, it is a well established fact regarding mz_debra and peaks.

    
    
    Oh, you mean the "small" Grizzly I ran into whilst fishing??
    

    
    did you at least bring me back a kodiak bear, andy??

    you hooked a grizzly??

    
    
    Nope, Mark. Never made it to Kodiak Island either...
    
    We travelled 1,100 miles and saw maybe 2% of the state...
    
    
    There are 365 million acres in Alaska...
    

    
    
    >you hooked a grizzly??
    
    Nope, Bonnie dear...
    
    Notice I said "ran into"???
    

But did you capture a Kodiak moment of the grizzley?

    
    
    BTW... the craziest thing up there was trying to get used to the
    daylight.
    
    11:00 at night and it looked liked 6ish does here...
    
    

    i'll bear that in mind.  welcome back!

    
    
    >But did you capture a Kodiak moment of the grizzley?
    
    
    Nope... was only fishing and forgot to take my camera..
    
    Although, there would have been no way I could've taken a picture
    whilst slipping and sliding in my own fecal matter...
    

    
    >yes, it is a well established fact regarding mz_debra and peaks.
     
    Mark...
    
                        
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    8^pPppPPppPppPpPppPppPpPppPPpP,.',.',.',.',.'",..,
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    					     ,.',.',.',

    
    
    >i'll bear that in mind.  welcome back!
    
    And so it starts...
    
    Next??!!!
    
    
    :)
    

    
    well andy, did you properly introduce yourself to the grizzley???

    of course.  he has unbearably good manners.

    
    gee deb, that's the first time or second I've received the full
    8 inch raspberry. 
    
    re andy:
    
    no crab legs, no kodiak bear..... i bet you forgot the eskimo pie as
    well, didn't you?

    Andy:
    
    I still have your blankee!

    
    
    >I still have your blankee!
    
    Drop it off anytime Jack.. here or at home...
    
    
    BTW... I was surprised to learn (at the entrance to the plane, no less)
    that we were flying first-class..
    
    
    No other way to go IMO...
    
    

    Are ya gunna tell us about da bear, or are we gunna hav ta muss you up?
    
    
    -guido

    
    I *love* bear storys.

    Glen loves bare stories.

    do you know the little chore that a bear performs
    when preparing for hibernation?

    This all reminds me of the old and much told bear and rabbit joke.
    (yes, I'm going to tell it again...it's simple, but I still get a smile
    out of it  8^) )
    
    
    A bear and a rabbit were in the woods taking a dump.
    The bear asks the rabbit, "Hey rabbit, do you have a problem with crap
    sticking to your fur?"
    
    Rabbit replies "No, never have."
    
    Bear says "Good!", then proceeds to wipe his butt with the rabbit.

    nasty wabbit.

    
    I want to know why andy didn't fill the bear full of hot lead, i mean
    he was armed was he not???? That way he could've given Sharon a belated
    wedding present; a bear skin rug.

    
    
    Andy was armed with a 9mm....he would've been bear chow right now. 
    
    

| <<< Note 739.131 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "Madison...5'2'' 95 lbs." >>>

| Glen loves bare stories.

	Some of them....

	Jim, it WAS a small grizzly.....

    
    	A SMALL griz would probably run about 4-500lbs.
    
    

| <<< Note 739.139 by SUBPAC::SADIN "Freedom isn't free." >>>


| A SMALL griz would probably run about 4-500lbs.

	That's a 496lb difference there, Jim! :-)

    
    
    	well, they're little when they're born....:)

>          <<< Note 739.140 by BIGQ::SILVA "I'm out, therefore I am" >>>

>	That's a 496lb difference there, Jim! :-)

	aagagagag. 

    
    
    	I've heard the bear story.  Got the willies just readin'
    	'bout it!!
    
    	

    i haven't heard the bear story.  no willies for me.

    bear with him, he'll get to it...
    
    besides 9mm only tickles Grizz, gets 'em seriously POed.

re .145:

>    bear with him, 

We figured that much out.  We want to hear the details!

<---- :-)

    
    i wanna know if i got my polar bear....
    
    

    
    
    >i wanna know if i got my polar bear....
    
    
    Yep...
    

  We were on the Denali Highway {snicker}, a 135-mile stretch of dirt road 
going East-West and stopped at a camp-ground next to a stream recommended by 
one of the locals. The other guys were slow and messing around with their 
fishing gear (besides having a few beers) and I decided to start upstream by 
myself (wrong thing to do).

  I was walking along the goat-path next to the river and went about 1 1/2 - 2 
miles when I looked at what I thought was a dead, brownish bush. All of a 
sudden, the bush stood up on its hind legs and smelled the air. I was about 
40-50 yards away when I saw it stand up. My first reaction was... "Wow! A real 
live bear!"... then I realized what I just said, and where I was, and that it 
was not a very good position to be in.

 The bank and hillside next to the stream were covered in what's called "dwarf 
willow" which is about chest high on me. When the bear stood up, it was up to 
his belly, so it made him/her about 1 foot or so taller (about 6'8"). 

 The scarey part was that after 10 seconds or so, the bear dropped down and I 
couldn't see it anymore... I didn't know if it was heading for me, away from 
me, circling around, or what...

 I just did what the authorites said to do.. made a lot of noise, didn't 
run... I started to sing all the show-tunes I knew and/or heard... started 
talking/yelling to the bear to at least make it quick...

I pulled out my pistol and had it ready, but couldn't see the bear.

 Couldn't hear it either as the stream was babbling and the wind was whistling 
through the trees...

 I started back the way I came, but it was so narrow and filled with tree 
roots and rocks that I couldn't walk backwards. I had to take a few steps and 
look back... few steps.. look back...

 It was the longest mile and a half of my life... walking back to the campsite.

 Even the double shot of Absolut Vodka didn't calm me down....

    ZZZZZZzzzzzzz.....

    you were beary lucky.

    
    
    	great story Andy.

	Wow! Talk about a scary time. You made it scarier by adding show tunes
into it! EEEK!

    
    >I started to sing all the show-tunes I knew and/or heard.
    
    I knew you'd thank me one day 8^).
    

   .154  this really cracked me up. ;>

Andy, next time you meet a bear, this is how you can tell what type of bear
it is.  Climb a tree.  If it climbs up the tree after you, it's a black bear.
If it knocks the tree over, it's a grizzley bear.

-Madman

    If it's drinking Coca Cola, it's a Polar bear but unsanctioned.  
    

    If it has no teeth, it's a gummy bear.

    
    re: .157
    
    -Madman
    
    
      Will do!!!  ;)
    

    If it knocks down the tree only to give you a bear hug, it's a care
    bear.

    
    ..and if it begs to be crushed to death, it's Snuggles, the Fabric
    Softener Bear.

    If it asks you for a dime, it's a bear bumb.

    If it brays instead of roaring, it's a bear-ass.

| <<< Note 739.159 by SMURF::WALTERS >>>

| If it has no teeth, it's a gummy bear.

	Man.... STOP! People are looking at me strangely... more so than usual. 

	If George Wendt is around, it's DA BEARS!

    If it's wearing diamonds it's Debeers (sp?)
    
    Mike
    

    I know what my first instinct would have been "RUN!".  It would be very
    difficult to fight the "flight" instinct, IMO.  Didn't know you were
    supposed to make noise, but I did know you weren't supposed to
    run...bears like to chase things.  8^)
    
    Good story.  Glad you didn't end up as a bear chew toy. 
    
    
    -steve

         Good evening, April. Glad to see there's someone else out there at
    this time. Been kinda dead after about six for the past month. 

    I must admit, this bear string is pretty funny!!  You've all outdone
    yourselves this time.

    In about 20 minutes I'll be fast asleep.  

    nite-nite

    
    andy, I am disappointed in you, very actually. Sharon has always wanted
    a bearskin rug, and you had your chance to get her one. I would not
    be surprised if she doesn't speak to you for a month. oh, and next time
    carry a .357 magnum, or a .44. Bear meat is supposed to be very tasty.

    >oh, and next time carry a .357 magnum, or a .44. Bear meat is 
    >supposed to be very tasty.
    
     With a .357 or .44 mag it would have been Andy meat that the bear was
    finding "tasty". All you're liable to do with ANY handgun is piss off
    1000 lbs of carnivore.

    And anyway, if he's carrying a golf club, he may be one of your
    forebears.

    
    well, doc, good point. a Weatherby .300 magnum would definitely be
    enough to blow a bear to shreds. Better yet, shoot him with a Kodak,
    lasts longer.

    Most bears are omnivores, they go both ways in the food chain.  

    A few months back, NPR played a recording of a bear hunt.  The treed
    bear was shot five times with a hunting rifle before it fell out of the
    tree and was finished off on the ground with a shot to the head. I
    don't know about a rug, but it would probably make a good sphagetti
    strainer.

    
    
    	re: -1
    	
    	There's no excuse for a lousy shot. Either that or the person doing
    the shooting was undergunned. I can see one, maybe two shots. Five?
    That idiot should be bashed in the head with something heavy....
    
    
    jim

    re: bear hunt
    
     Wrong kind of bear. Only black bears climb trees. Nonetheless, they
    remain tough customers.
    
    re: omnivores
    
     Yes, I know that, but when some dumb animal takes a shot at a bear
    with a pea shooter, it isn't thinking about nuts and berries. :-)

    I must admit, I did wonder about that.  A treed bear at close
    range with a rifle.  They did not say that all shots hit, and it might
    have been that the hunter was going for a difficult head shot to save
    the pelt (it was dusk). Then again, NPR might have been taking an
    opportunity to do a bit of propaganda. 

    >Then again, NPR might have been taking an
    >opportunity to do a bit of propaganda. 
    
     NFW. ;>

    I dunno, call those "Vermont Bear Counselors"...
    
    

    
    So Andy, were you near any of the burnt-out areas?

    
    
    >So Andy, were you near any of the burnt-out areas?
    
    Yep... the one that burned 23K acres (the secondary fire). We were
    driving through a section of the penninsula and noticed how dark it
    was. The first reaction was of an upcoming storm, but it didn't seem
    right. Then we crested a hill and it was billowing smoke as far as you
    could see. I (hopefuly) took some good, panoramic shots of the fire
    (all smoke.. I didn't see any flames).
    
      Most of the locals, except for those affected, basically brushed it
    off as nothing major. When you live in a state of 365 million acres, 50
    or 60K acres doesn't seem too much. 
    

    
    
    BTW... we were only 10 miles away, as the crow flies... and the only
    reason the fire was able to be controlled is because its path was 
    blocked by a 20-mile long lake that acted as a fire-break..

   Andy, 'Fish' wanted me to ask you if you got that hole in the waders
 before or after you saw the bear?

:-) :-) :-) 
kb

    
    
    Holy Chite!!!
    
    You know Fish???????  :) :)
    
    He let me borrow his waders and salmon rod for the trip.
    
    >and what is the connection??
    
    it is my understanding that he's a long time friend of the Hudson
    clan...
    

 Andy,
       What I meant by the connection is...
       If you ask him, he will tell you that I am his Father-in-law.
kb

    
    
    Wow!!!! I guess it is!!!!
    
    
    Ask him if he likes the ball-cap I got him!!
    
    
     :) :)
    

    
    Hmmmm.... A thing to wonder about...
    
    We were on the "Glenn Highway" that merged with the "Richardson
    Highway", up in Alaska...
    
    I wonder if any of him was ever up there...
    

    This troubles me.