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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:No more new notes
Moderator:WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS
Created:Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:862
Total number of notes:339684

617.0. "The Heterosexual topic" by BIGQ::SILVA (EAT, Pappa, EAT!) Sat Dec 09 1995 20:48



	This topic is to discuss those crazy and whacky (and normal) things
that heterosexuals do!


Glen
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
617.1BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Sat Dec 09 1995 20:499

	I saw this on Friday night. It was something I have seen many people
do, but I can't understand why. Two couples in a car. In the front, two men. In
the back, two females. Why wouldn't the couples sit next to each other?



Glen
617.2DRDAN::KALIKOWDIGITAL=DEC; Reclaim the Name&Glory!Sat Dec 09 1995 21:085
    They were coming out to each other.  Wot U were witnessing was the
    breakup of two breeder marriages.
    
    Next question!!
    
617.38^)POWDML::HANGGELILittle Chamber of Tummy TimeSat Dec 09 1995 23:2012
                    
    Simple - it all has to do with one's social class.
    
    Lower class  - husbands in front, wives in back.
    Middle class - host couple in front, guest couple in back.
    Upper class  - host husband & guest wife in front, host wife & guest
    		   husband in back.
    
    
    Next question?
    
    
617.4DRDAN::KALIKOWDIGITAL=DEC; Reclaim the Name&Glory!Sat Dec 09 1995 23:572
    Oh veddy GOOD, MzDeb!!
    
617.5BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Sun Dec 10 1995 16:2311
| <<< Note 617.2 by DRDAN::KALIKOW "DIGITAL=DEC; Reclaim the Name&Glory!" >>>

| They were coming out to each other.  Wot U were witnessing was the
| breakup of two breeder marriages.

	WOW! To think that has happened so much! It's nice to know if they
break up, they have another to go to right away.


Glen

617.6BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Sun Dec 10 1995 16:238
| <<< Note 617.3 by POWDML::HANGGELI "Little Chamber of Tummy Time" >>>


| Lower class  - husbands in front, wives in back.
| Next question?

	How does the above work when they were in a Mercedes?

617.7SUBPAC::SADINFreedom isn&#039;t free.Sun Dec 10 1995 16:446
    
    	the classes don't necessarily have to do with how much money they
    make....
    
    
    
617.8TROOA::COLLINSDangled from a rope of sand...Sun Dec 10 1995 21:086
    
    I resent the implication that heterosexuality is "wacky" or "crazy".
    Heterosexuals are normal people too.  We're tired of being marginalized
    by the `holier-than-thou' homosexuals.  Hets have rights, and we won't
    be silenced!
    
617.9just a suggestionPOLAR::WILSONCstrive to look better nakedMon Dec 11 1995 00:053
    Men sit in the front seats of metal boxes because of the size of their
    bodies, ie., men tend to be bigger than women and there is more room in
    the front seat.
617.10SCASS1::GUINEO::MOOREPerhapsTheDreamIsDreamingUsMon Dec 11 1995 01:105
    Glen,
    
    You wouldn't understand it. It's a breeder thing.
    
    ;^)
617.11WAHOO::LEVESQUEsmooth, fast, bright and playfulMon Dec 11 1995 07:594
    Now for the real reason: it makes for easier conversation. The women
    can talk about the things they want to talk about, and the men can talk
    about the things they want to talk about without having to talk over or
    through each other.
617.12POWDML::HANGGELILittle Chamber of Tummy TimeMon Dec 11 1995 08:404
    
    "Now for the real reason".  Oh, you smug thing.
    
    
617.13WAHOO::LEVESQUEsmooth, fast, bright and playfulMon Dec 11 1995 08:481
    you rang?
617.148^pPOWDML::HANGGELILittle Chamber of Tummy TimeMon Dec 11 1995 08:524
    
    My answer still stands.
    
    
617.15BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Mon Dec 11 1995 08:5611
| <<< Note 617.8 by TROOA::COLLINS "Dangled from a rope of sand..." >>>


| I resent the implication that heterosexuality is "wacky" or "crazy".

	I put normal in (). Isn't that good enough for you?

| Heterosexuals are normal people too.  We're tired of being marginalized by the
| `holier-than-thou' homosexuals.  Hets have rights, and we won't be silenced!

	Don't give me that "in-your-face" crap, !Joan!
617.16BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Mon Dec 11 1995 08:565
| <<< Note 617.10 by SCASS1::GUINEO::MOORE "PerhapsTheDreamIsDreamingUs" >>>

| You wouldn't understand it. It's a breeder thing.

	But I wanna learn.... just incase... ;-)
617.17BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Mon Dec 11 1995 08:5710
| <<< Note 617.11 by WAHOO::LEVESQUE "smooth, fast, bright and playful" >>>

| Now for the real reason: it makes for easier conversation. The women
| can talk about the things they want to talk about, and the men can talk
| about the things they want to talk about without having to talk over or
| through each other.


	Mark, men and women can't talk about the same thing together? Wow...
what a seperatist sexuality you have there!
617.18I really should break this out more often.ACISS2::LEECHDia do bheatha.Mon Dec 11 1995 09:2516
          CRAPCRAP    CRAPCRAPC        RAPC       RAPCRAPC
         CR      AP   CR      AP      CRAPCR      AP      CR  
        CR       AP   CR      AP     CR    AP     CR       AP
        CR            AP      CR    AP      CR    AP       CR
        CR            AP     CR     AP      CR    AP       CR
        CR            AP    CR      AP      CR    AP      CR
        CR            APCRAPC       RAPCRAPCRA    APCRAPCRA
        CR            AP    CR      AP      CR    AP
        CR            AP     CR     AP      CR    AP
        CR       AP   CR      AP    CR      AP    CR
         CR      AP   CR      AP    CR      AP    CR
          CRAPCRAP    CR      AP    CR      AP    CR
                                                    
    
    
    (C) copyright Leech Enterprises  v2.4     
617.19LANDO::OLIVER_Bthere must be some way outta here...Mon Dec 11 1995 09:284
    i can pick one out one a mile away.  it's the way they walk.
    i hate it when they get hangy.  live and let live and all
    that, but do they have to shove it in your face?  those 
    refrigerator repair guys are the worst.
617.20TROOA::COLLINSDangled from a rope of sand...Mon Dec 11 1995 09:314
    
    Heterosexuals should remain in the closet...especially when their
    lover's spouse returns home unexpectedly...
    
617.21GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERRIP Amos, you will be missedMon Dec 11 1995 09:333
    
    
    yer learnin quick, Joan.......
617.22BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Mon Dec 11 1995 11:003

	Is Steve Leech A-sexual?
617.23SMURF::WALTERSMon Dec 11 1995 11:021
    A sexual what?
617.24MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalMon Dec 11 1995 11:035
    Remembering the days we'd go up to Millwood golf in Framingham.  Steve
    and I sat in the front and we brought our girlfriends who sat in the
    back so they could grab us a beer.
    
    -Jack
617.25MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalMon Dec 11 1995 11:031
    Steve Previte...not Leach.
617.26HANNAH::MODICAConstant WhitewaterMon Dec 11 1995 11:088
    
    re: .1 
    > Two couples in a car
    > In the front, two men
    > In the back, two females
    
    If it's a rear wheel drive car..for better traction in the snow.
    
617.27BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Mon Dec 11 1995 11:086
| <<< Note 617.24 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "I press on toward the goal" >>>

| Steve and I sat in the front and we brought our girlfriends who sat in the
| back so they could grab us a beer.

	sexist swine!
617.28LANDO::OLIVER_Bthere must be some way outta here...Mon Dec 11 1995 11:112
    did the girlfriends look like barbie?
    sounds like they may have.
617.29BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Mon Dec 11 1995 11:167
| <<< Note 617.28 by LANDO::OLIVER_B "there must be some way outta here..." >>>

| did the girlfriends look like barbie?
| sounds like they may have.

	They were with Jack Martin, so they probably were plastic dolls. The
kind you blow up.... ;-)
617.30SMURF::WALTERSMon Dec 11 1995 11:184
    
    > In the back, two females
    
    So that *someone* will be willing to ask for directions.
617.31LANDO::OLIVER_Bthere must be some way outta here...Tue Dec 12 1995 15:101
    all they ever talk about is hooters and barbies.
617.32BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Tue Dec 12 1995 15:244

	They make several sucking noises when the pretty wimmins are around as
well!
617.33DEVLPR::DKILLORANNo Compromise on FreedomTue Dec 12 1995 19:176
    
    > They make several sucking noises when the pretty wimmins are around as
    > well!
    
    Glen, I hope you're not refering to me....
    
617.34BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Tue Dec 12 1995 22:343

	Why Dan.... you sound so...so...guilty. :-)
617.35DEVLPR::DKILLORANNo Compromise on FreedomWed Dec 13 1995 10:054
    
    Glen, I just wanted to point out that I am an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY Kirby
    Hoover!  And don't you forget it!

617.36BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Wed Dec 13 1995 12:211
<---I'll be right there...
617.37ACISS1::BATTISgrandmagotrunoverbyacamaroWed Dec 13 1995 12:312
    
    those last two replies have me grieviosouly troubled.
617.38POLAR::RICHARDSONCPU CyclerWed Dec 13 1995 13:362
    
    <---- This troubles me. Well, the grieviosouly part anyway.
617.39GIDDAY::BURTDPD (tm)Wed Dec 13 1995 16:413
It sounds painful.  

\C
617.40CSC32::M_EVANScuddly as a cactusWed Dec 13 1995 17:255
    Heterosexuals flaunt what they do in the "privacy of their own homes"
    on a regular basis.  You can always tell what they do when you see a
    woman with a bulging belly and screaming little ones.
    
    meg
617.41MPGS::MARKEYI&#039;m feeling ANSI and ISOlatedWed Dec 13 1995 17:286
    > You can always tell what they do when you see a woman with a
    > bulging belly and screaming little ones.
    
    Not to mention kids! :-)
    
    -b
617.42SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Wed Dec 13 1995 17:3010
    
    "flaunt"??????
    
    A natural act in an orifice provided by nature for procreation of the
    species is now called "flaunting"???
    
    
    But of course!!!!!!! Silly me!!! Why haven't I known this for all these
    years???
    
617.43Kids say the darndest thangsCOVERT::COVERTJohn R. CovertWed Dec 13 1995 17:3621
    > You can always tell what they do when you see a woman with a
    > bulging belly and screaming little ones.
    
Which reminds me of a silly Reader's Digest story.

Seems a little girl (four or so) was still sucking her thumb, and her
parents wanted her to stop.  So they made up a cock-and-bull story
to tell her.

	"You've gotta stop that.  Everytime you suck your thumb,
	 you'll suck in some air, and eventually you'll blow up
	 like a balloon and float away and won't be here with us
	 any more, and we'd miss you.  You don't want that, do you?"

The little girl took the advice to heart, and cut back significantly on
the thumb-sucking.

A month or so later, she was introduced to a pregnant woman.  She looked
at the lady's bulging belly, and exclaimed, "I know what you've been doing!"

/john
617.44"flaunting"???SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 14 1995 08:419
    
    <----------
    
    
    > A month or so later, she was introduced to a pregnant woman.  She looked
    >at the lady's bulging belly, and exclaimed, "I know what you've been 
    >doing!"
    
    
617.45MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 09:0713
    Alcoholics every so often flaunt what they do on the streets by leaving
    a bar and staggering into a stupor.
    
    Okay so we have three dispositions, gays, straights, and alcoholics.
    Do I really care what all three of these individuals do?  Not
    particularly unless I feel close enough to them to splain the dangers
    of their actions.  Nevertheless myself as well as society has the right
    to have preconceived biases based on what is considered moral behavior.
    
    Old room-mate in college was gay.  Used to go camping with him on a
    regular basis, partied with him, the whole nine yards.    
    
    -Jack
617.46TROOA::COLLINSSparky DoobsterThu Dec 14 1995 09:113
    
    The WHOLE nine yards?!?!
    
617.47SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 14 1995 09:134
    
    
    I believe he's refering to the size of the tent...
    
617.48MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 09:521
    Correct.
617.49LANDO::OLIVER_Bwith no direction home...Thu Dec 14 1995 09:541
    well, that 'ol roomate must count himself as one lucky guy.
617.50LANDO::OLIVER_Bwith no direction home...Thu Dec 14 1995 09:541
    ol'
617.51SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 14 1995 10:005
    
    >well, that 'ol roomate must count himself as one lucky guy.
    
    Are you infering that Lucky Jack is gay???????
    
617.52NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Dec 14 1995 10:031
inferring.  The correct word is "implying."  nnttm.
617.53MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 10:111
    Andy, remember...I'm the unlucky Jack.  Jack D. is lucky Jack!!!
617.54LANDO::OLIVER_Bwith no direction home...Thu Dec 14 1995 10:187
    |Are you infering that Lucky Jack is gay???????
    
    no.  jack's roommate was lucky because jack, though
    he finds homosexual behavior so incredibly reprehensible,
    was able to reach down into his tiny, tiny heart and find
    a place for this poor soul...why, he even spent free time
    with him!!  Amazing grace!!! 
617.55SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 14 1995 10:198
    
    re: .52
    
    >inferring.  The correct word is "implying."  nnttm.
    
    Oh but I do!! I do so humbly thank you!!! 
    
    Where would we be without such informative corrections???
617.56MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 10:215
   ZZ     was able to reach down into his tiny, tiny heart and find
   ZZ     a place for this poor soul...why, he even spent free time
   ZZ     with him!!  Amazing grace!!!
    
    Welll......gosh...charuty begins at home!
617.57MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 10:221
    Chastity begins at home.
617.58LANDO::OLIVER_Bwith no direction home...Thu Dec 14 1995 10:233
    |Welll......gosh...charuty begins at home!
    
    your roommate probably thought the same thing.
617.59MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 10:485
    Truth be known, I didn't know he was gay at the time.  This was back in
    1979 and I found out when I went to visit him a few years ago while on
    business.  
    
    
617.60Tom said with a straight face.COVERT::COVERTJohn R. CovertThu Dec 14 1995 10:511
Heterosexual topic, folks.  Heterosexual topic.
617.61LANDO::OLIVER_Bwith no direction home...Thu Dec 14 1995 10:521
    disappointing, jack.  very disappointing.
617.62MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 11:0532
     Z   no.  jack's roommate was lucky because jack, though
     Z   he finds homosexual behavior so incredibly reprehensible,
     Z   was able to reach down into his tiny, tiny heart and find
     Z   a place for this poor soul...why, he even spent free time
     Z   with him!!  Amazing grace!!!
    
    Ahh, Bonnie my dear, my statement about charity was just as sarcastic
    as your post above.  I was returning evil for evil.  Vince was probably
    one of the closest friends I had in college.  The fact was at the time
    of my freshman year, I lived in a dorm.  There was a suite of four
    rooms, eight of us.  Vince was in the room next to me, he was dating a
    girl and he thought I was annoying because I was constantly saying,
    "Hi" to him.  After about a few months, a bunch of them were going out
    to McDonalds and I wasn't invited.  They all belonged to a fraternity
    and I of course wasn't allowed as a first semester freshman.  Well,
    Vince invited me to go along and from that point on things were
    different between us.  The friendship grew, he'd still yell at me in a
    joking way, and I took it...still coercing him into fury of course.  My
    favorite past time.
    
    Eventually I did get into the fraternity and Vince, another friend
    named Joe and I became close nit friends.  But the bottom line truth is
    that it was I who WAS the charity case, not him at the beginning.  As
    the months continued, we became equals.
    
    Point: You people try to paint me as an intolerable monster.  I scoff
    at such things but felt it was worth pointing out that I'm on the
    surface more tolerable than most.  So why am I on the opposite side of
    the fence?  Simply that you haven't convinced me that all
    predispositions have to by rule be honorable ones when acted upon.
    
    -Jack
617.63SMURF::WALTERSThu Dec 14 1995 11:061
    Close nit, indeed.
617.64MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 11:071
    Close Knit?
617.65LANDO::OLIVER_Bwith no direction home...Thu Dec 14 1995 11:183
    that's all very nice, jack, but your note .45 implied 
    that you knew your roommate was gay at the time he was
    your roomate.  
617.66MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 12:203
    Bonnie:
    
    I still would have been close to him!
617.67BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 12:2411
| <<< Note 617.45 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "I press on toward the goal" >>>


| Old room-mate in college was gay.  Used to go camping with him on a
| regular basis, 

	I'd luv to see Jack doing camp. :-)

| the whole nine yards.

	GAZOOKS! 
617.68BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 12:2610
| <<< Note 617.51 by SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI "Rhubarb... celery gone bloodshot." >>>


| Are you infering that Lucky Jack is gay???????

	If Jack Martin was hangin with him, then that might make him become
unlucky. :-)  Hmmm.... Is OJ Martin really LJ's evil twin?


Glen
617.69Heterosexual snarf!BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 12:289
| <<< Note 617.59 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "I press on toward the goal" >>>

| Truth be known, I didn't know he was gay at the time.  This was back in
| 1979 and I found out when I went to visit him a few years ago while on
| business.

	HAAA HAAA HAAA!!! Too funny. You paint a picture like you could hang
out with the guy, but then you say you didn't know. You're a pip, Jack. 

617.70BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 12:309
| <<< Note 617.62 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "I press on toward the goal" >>>

| Point: You people try to paint me as an intolerable monster.  

	Jack, your own words are doing the painting.



Glen
617.71NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Dec 14 1995 12:303
> You're a pip, Jack. 

How do you know?  Did you hear it through the grapevine?
617.72BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 12:3113
| <<< Note 617.66 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "I press on toward the goal" >>>


| I still would have been close to him!


	You don't know that. Case in point. I have a friend who was out long
before I ever was. But I did not give him the same respect I do now, due to my
thoughts on the subject at the time. 



Glen
617.73GMASEC::KELLYThu Dec 14 1995 12:421
    and glen, you don't know that jack would have behaved the same as you.
617.74BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 12:4811
| <<< Note 617.73 by GMASEC::KELLY >>>

| and glen, you don't know that jack would have behaved the same as you.


	'tine.... when I said, "you don't know that", it meant just that. I
then gave an example of what happened to me. Maybe I missed it, but please show
me where I said anywhere that Jack would react as I would?


Glen
617.75Same old.. same old...SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 14 1995 12:493
    
    
    Jack Martin = Joe Oppelt
617.76GMASEC::KELLYThu Dec 14 1995 12:534
    it was more an implication, glen.  besides, i'm merely pointing out
    that your merely pointing out is as meaningless as jack's ability to
    claim what he would have done about this back in '79.  personally, i
    believe jack.  ymmv.
617.77MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Dec 14 1995 12:583
    Glen:
    
    I'll tell him hi for you when I see him this weekend!  Nyahhhh!
617.78BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 13:407
| <<< Note 617.75 by SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI "Rhubarb... celery gone bloodshot." >>>


| Jack Martin = Joe Oppelt


	Not true. Jack doesn't give any impression that he is an angry man.
617.79BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Thu Dec 14 1995 13:405
| <<< Note 617.77 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "I press on toward the goal" >>>

| I'll tell him hi for you when I see him this weekend!  Nyahhhh!

	Doing camp, Jack�
617.80SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 14 1995 13:497
    
    re: .78
    
    Funny.... Joe Oppelt never gave me that impression either....
    
    Must be my rose-colored glasses...
    
617.81ACISS2::LEECHDia do bheatha.Thu Dec 14 1995 13:595
    re: .62
    
    'Joe and I' is a very strange name.  
    
    [sorry, my parse-o-meter overloaded for a second 8^) ]
617.82NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Dec 14 1995 14:011
"Joe and I" is actually quite a common name among louse eggs.
617.83ACISS2::LEECHDia do bheatha.Thu Dec 14 1995 15:283
    [in my best Carson voice]
    
    I did not know that.
617.84LANDO::OLIVER_Bwith no direction home...Thu Dec 14 1995 15:353
    steve, i miss the cow.  that little cow was your 
    alter ego...you really came up with some funny lines
    when you used that little cow...
617.85ACISS2::LEECHDia do bheatha.Thu Dec 14 1995 15:5310
    
                          (__)
                          (oo)
                   /-------\/ 
                  / |     || \ 
                 *  ||W---|| moo?
                    ~~    ~~  

    
617.86ACISS2::LEECHDia do bheatha.Thu Dec 14 1995 15:5511
                 -------|------|------------
                        ++    ++
                        ||---M||
                        ||     |
                       /\-------\
                      (00)       \
                      (  )        *
                    /
                 moo?
    
617.87CHEFS::COOKSHalf Man,Half BiscuitFri Dec 15 1995 07:407
    I`ve noticed a trend in films these days that the baddie can only
    be a heterosexual,English,white bloke.
    
    I fink this is stereotyping us Anglo-Saxon ladies men. I`d quite
    happily help an old lady across the road,and regularly give to
    the Salvation Army.
    
617.88great casting !GAAS::BRAUCHERWelcome to ParadiseFri Dec 15 1995 10:007
    
      Quite right, too.  Brit baddies spouting evil in their accents.
    
      Skip the heroic Bond - give me cleverly despicable counterspies
     like in LeCarre.
    
      bb
617.89lie == like, bloody `k' keyCBHVAX::CBHLager LoutFri Dec 15 1995 10:539
>      Quite right, too.  Brit baddies spouting evil in their accents.

hmm, I heard a (probably completely false) claim several years ago about the 
possibility of Jimmy Nail appearing in a terminator movie... I can just 
imagine, instead of the infamous `I'll be back' line, something lie `hey, ye, 
did ye spill me pint, man?  Ah'll give yers aaall a ploatin!  Ah'll tek yers 
aaall on, yer bloody puffs!'

Chris.