Conference back40::soapbox

    My cup is 7/8 full most of the time, runneth over at times and
        occasionally gets knocked over.
        
    

1) Who the hell are you?
2) Mind your own business.

re: .-1

It's just Mr_Topaz withdrawal - not to worry.

Dunno. Haven't finished yet.

Pete

    I've never had any expectations, still don't, don't want any, I'm where
    i'm at 'cause this is where i am, so i'm happy, always happy,
    reasonably free also. and on top of all that i just got a new pair of
    sundowners on a warranty issue! 
    
    so i'm talking to this girl, and she is like eating lots of hard candy.
    I don't say anything to but just look at the pile of wrappers on her
    desk and then raise my eyebrows, like. so this girl she says to me 
    "can you say orally fixated?" whats a nice guy supposed to say to that?
    oh well, till tomorrow.
    
    chris
    

    Chris, smile pertly and say "orally fixated".  NNTTM.   

    I agree with Jack.  We don't want your ilk here!  You're disposition is
    not welcomed here.  GO AWAY!!!

    
    	And take Jack's extra apostrophes with you!!
    

    Uhhhhh.....YEAH!!!  uhhhh....

    Hey Joe Bud,

    First 'Boxer I'd recognize in person.

>                -< Is this another half-empty/half-full issue? >-

    The other day my 3.25 year old daughter was trying to describe a 1/2
    full glass of water.  She said "It's not quite almost full."

    -- Dave

    Sounds like .2 & .7 didn't take their Perky Pills today!  Or maybe I'm
    not that happy after all.  OK, my cup is 3/4 full.  Heat it up in the
    microwave and it FEELS like 7/8 full, right?  Don't you get credit for
    a warm cup?

    
    I'm proportionally happy with the distance from the last good
    rogering I was party to. I'm feeling pretty effing cranky at
    the moment, so BUTT OUT!
    
    -b

    OK, so new topic "Show people be FORCED to be happy?".  That should
    satisfy everyone.

Joe,
   I think you want QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS.
You're Welcome

    
    I'm happy. So shove it.
    
    ;^) (with Texas flair !)
    
    

    
    	I'm not happy. DEC stock closed at 62+ yesterday....I sold friday
    at 58.19....arg!
    
    
    jim

    Jim,
    
    First rule of investing.  Never regret, never look back, never be
    indecisive.  You realized a phenomenal gain.  The paltry sum you would
    have over an above having sold yesterday is not something to feel bad
    about.  Rejoice in your good fortune.  You have the luck of Jack.

Not exactly - Jack still has his shares.

    
    
    re: .17
    
    	Oh, I'm happy enough...just I could've been happier. :)
    
    	
    re: .18
    
    	lucky dog you....:)
    
    
    jim

RE: 606.16 by SUBPAC::SADIN "Freedom isn't free."

I was once very unhappy about selling DEC stock.  At $140 a share,  mind
you.  As we all know,  it went to $199 a share.

I wasn't quite so unhappy shortly there after.

Bulls make money.
Bears make money.

Pigs get slaughtered.

    
    
    	re: .20
    
    	point well taken....
    
    
    

    I'm the happist person I know. The situation I have placed myself in is
    good. The situation I have placed myself in is right. The situation I
    have placed myself in is of value to me. I believe that life is good
    and people are good. My happiness comes from knowing that what I do is
    right for me, what I do is good for me and what I do is of value to
    me. I know I am capable of understanding reality. I know I am growing
    in a positive direction. I know that I am producing values needed so
    that I can live independently. I love my life. 

    
    	Where's the TTMMGT topic ?
    
    

    <--- I was wondering the same thing, meself.  8^)

    
    .22
    
    I'll have a shot of what he's drinking, barkeep.

    .22 
    
    He`s probably the git who rings on my doorbell at 11.00 AM on a Sunday
    morning,then promptly sticks a pamphlet about the bible through my
    letterbox when I don`t answer the door.
    

    re: .26
    
    Bwhaaaaaaaaaaahahaha, your talking about me!! Jack, can you believe he
    thinks this of me!! 

    
      .22 Great!   Can I have some of what your taking?
    
       Rosie

    
    Just breath deep!  :)

| <<< Note 606.29 by DASHER::RALSTON "screwiti'mgoinhome.." >>>


| Just breath deep!  :)


	Rose, just make sure you're not mixing chemicals when you do this! 

    
    >Are ya happy?
    
    
    not today
    
    

    
    Apparently today is not a good day in legal.

	Might be a trany problem that has her not happy.

    <--- that and the headache that has been simmering over my left eye all
    day.  motrin (the real thing) has helped a little, but not much...
    
    

	raq... if the headache is simmering over your left eye, me thinks you
got a laser eye! I will ALWAYS be vedy vedy nice to you! :-)  I thought there
was something different about your stare. :-)

    Regrets, I've had a few ...

    raq,
    
    When I was first diagnosed with arthritis, the doc started out with
    Motrin; it gave me killer headaches (helped the old joints, but was
    a pain in the head).
    
    

    
    karen,  i think my headache was due to the stress and worrying i was
    doing about my car...but unfortunately, arthritis runs in my family, so
    it is not out of the question...)
    
    

    raq,
    
    A co-worker suffers from wicked migraines; she tends to suffer the
    most (as I do) when the barometric pressure changes abruptly. 
    
    Stress and worry can cause awesome headaches, but you might want
    to watch and see if the headaches are worse when you have abrupt
    weather changes in your locale.
    
    

    
    What Karen says is true!
    
    It doesn't only apply to headaches. I have all sorts of change
    of weather allergy/asthma symptoms that dog me year round; living
    in New (don't like the weather? just wait a bit...) England and
    all...
    
    -b

    
    	TTWA:
    
    	Has Brian ever been "dogged" by a "warm front"??
    

    
    my headaches are usually stress related.  i have tried to keep track
    any pattern with them, but there really just isn't any.  and the
    headaches i get now don't come nearly as often as the ones i used to
    get while growing up...but then again, if you grew up in my family,
    you'd wonder why i haven't visited the rubber room yet... :>
    
    

    If you get so many headaches, why do you need a whole room to keep your
    rubbers in?
    

	When I moved to my new office, I got a tone of neck problems. I then
found I could raise the keyboard shelf up to a different notch (which was
covered the way I had it), and they have gone away. :-)  

    
    .43
    
    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    
    Colin, you crack me up, seriously.

    
    
    
    i feel good about myself, I'm a good person....and
    
    dog gone it! I deserve it!!
    
    
    Chris
    :)

Sometimes it's the simple things that make one happy....

FIND RAGGED ASS ROAD
                  CONTEST WINNERS!

  We'd like to thank all the fans who entered Tom's 'Find Ragged Ass Road'
                                  contest.

 But first the correct answer...the second Ragged Ass Road is "in the west 
end
        of Point Aumal, near Fox Island River, Between Stevenville and
                  Cornerbrook...IN NEWFOUNDLAND!" 

     Anyone answering 'NEWFOUNDLAND' has been deemed a winner. 

   Congratulations to Steve Lahey of Victoria B.C. who's been picked as the
        Grand Prize Winner. And thanks to everyone who participated.

                         CONGRATULATIONS!

    
    Shaddap, both of you.
    

Shawn, hurry up and call her.

>    Shaddap, both of you.

    
    	Something tells me that she wouldn't be any happer after the call.
    
    	You've never heard me sing, have you?If I had to sing for my sup-
    	per, unfortunately I'd have starved a long time ago.
    

	Shawn, would it be the call, or you're singing that wouldn't make her
happy? :-)

    
    
    
    	
    	re: note question
    
    
    
    		ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY _NOT_ !!
    

    
    SHADDAP YOU!
    

    Mz. Debra I love it when you talk like that!!!

    tee hee hee

    So, how was lunch?

    
    bb entertained all three of us female wimmin sorts single-handedly. 
    Such a gentleman.
    

    bb's a good sort.  it was fun to meet raq.  deb's
    a hot ticket.

    
    >deb's a hot ticket.
    
    
    

    
    HEY!  I'm not singing, wake up!
    
    8^)
    
    

    
    
    Ooops... sorry....
    
    Got carried away, there...
    
    
    deb... tickets...  You can see where I might nod off...
    
    ;) 
    

always happy with a 69....snarf

deb, did bb make things go right for you? cuz i hope your day picked up

    
    After a margarita or seven, even broken printers look ok 8^).
    
    No actually, when I got back from lunch Field Service had fixed my
    printer and the Xerox guy had fixed the big copier, so I managed to get
    some work done.  And then I left early to go to the BierHaus, so the
    day wasn't a total waste 8^).
    

    
    
    	I am NOT a happy camper. I spent two hours the day before yesterday
    and then two hours yesterday trying to work out these two calc
    problems. I still can't come up with the same answer the prof does!
    I've showed it to a few folks around here, and they couldn't figure it
    out either. Arg. I'll be going to class extra early to go through them
    with the prof. How very frustrating.
    
    
    jim

    
    Yes, but Jim.... while you were engrossed in the calc problem, did you
    forget about your stuttering problem???
    

    
    
    
    	ah, good point! I feel much better about myself. 
    
    
    

    
    Good!!!
    
    
    See what happens when you hug Mr. Bill???
    

    
    
    	This could be theraputic! :)
    
    

EILEEN McNAMARA: Is it so strange to just walk away?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


(Jul 10, 1996 2:23 p.m. EDT) -- I don't know where Patricia Minassian is or
precisely why she drove away from her life 10 days ago while vacationing
with her husband and three small children on Cape Cod.

I don't know if she is living alone in an oceanfront cottage or dead off
Cahoon Hollow Beach, where the police found the family's rented minivan
last week.

But I do know that, in a summer filled with tabloid tales of butchered
nannies and middle-aged women preying on teen-age boys, it is Tricia
Minassian's disappearance that haunts me and, I suspect, anyone else who
has ever felt overwhelmed or imagined running away from home.

The Hingham, Mass. woman's history of depression distinguishes her despair
from the more pedestrian levels of angst that seize the rest of us, but the
fantasy of flight is as real for the well-enough-adjusted as it is for the
clinically depressed.

Who hasn't wondered fleetingly on the drive home at night what might happen
if we just kept going?

Who hasn't imagined what life would have been like had we taken a
different, more solitary road?

We wonder but we don't go, most of us, because whatever the financial
pressures, the stresses at home or the tensions at work, we are content
enough with our lives to keep striving for a balance that works well
enough.

But, even when we want to stay, the impulse to flee doesn't really seem so
strange.

Anne Tyler built an entire novel around it. The 40-year-old protagonist of
"Ladder of Years" simply walks off down a beach one sunny afternoon into a
new, simpler life.

Leaving the demands of her husband and father and children behind, she
rents a room furnished with little more than a reading lamp. A woman who
favored romance novels in her "real" life, she now checks Henry James out
of the library.

In her small, spare room there is nothing to dust, no family meals to
prepare, no children's laundry to fold, no one's expectations to
disappoint.

There is only herself, alone, maybe for the first time.

Tricia Minassian's husband says a sense of failure as a wife and mother
were central to her recurring depression and, perhaps, to her
disappearance. Running through the letters she left for her family and
friends, he says, is her conviction that they all would be better off
without her.

She mentions neither suicide nor desertion as her intent. The feelings of
inadequacy she voices -- despite satisfying work and community involvement
-- resonate with anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed by life's competing
and relentless demands.

Those demands fall on men as well as women.

Eighteen years ago, an executive of a Brookline, Mass. construction firm
cashed a check for $1,000, picked up a stack of freshly laundered shirts
from the dry cleaner and disappeared a block from home, his keys still in
the ignition of his car.

His wife of 13 years, pregnant with their third child, worried that he had
fallen victim to foul play or amnesia.

When her husband surfaced 19 months later, he was living under an assumed
name in a Philadelphia hotel where he was working contentedly as a janitor.

He had become "depressed" by the pressures of running his own business, he
told the Massachusetts troopers who tracked him first to the tiny hamlet of
Plymouth Meeting and then to Philadelphia. I "just wanted to get out," he
said.

He came back to Brookline briefly to settle his financial obligations to
his wife, two sons and the daughter born after he disappeared, but he
returned to his maintenance job and to his small, spare room in the Warwick
Hotel.

He was polite enough 17 years ago when I knocked on his door, looking for
answers he couldn't provide. "I'm better alone," he said simply.

On the evening of June 30, Tricia Minassian's husband was playing baseball
in the street outside his parents' Bourne, Mass. home with 7-year-old Brett
and 6-year-old Jay.

She bathed their 2-year-old son, Kevin, and tucked him into bed. Then,
dressed in a gray sweatshirt and black stretch pants, she got behind the
wheel, telling her mother-in-law she was going to have the van cleaned.

Instead, she drove out to Wellfleet, to Cahoon Hollow Beach, where she and
her husband had gone on their first date. It is not known what she did next
that weighs so heavily on her family. And on our imaginations.

(Eileen McNamara is a Boston Globe columnist.)

    .77
    
    Depression is not something I understand very much.  I've known people
    depressed and I cannot relate.  I do not how to talk to them, I do not
    know how to be a friend to one who is so depressed they reject your
    attempts at friendship.
    
    I still feel guilty today over a woman to whom I tried to befriend. 
    She desired my friendship but then as we began to share more her
    revelation of clinical depression, prozac treatments and historical
    manic behaviors were somewhat shocking to me.  I wasn't shocked at her
    saying she was depressed, I was shocked at learning what depression
    really can become.
    
    Her behavior with me was very cyclical.  One day I was her BEST friend,
    the next she didn't know me at all [oh she did, but her behavior would
    be almost rude towards me].  As I read up on depression one of the
    symptoms is this "I am an island" or "I want to be alone" appearance
    that is exhibited.  In reality they truly desire intimacy, but the
    depression is almost a phobia towards intimacy.
    
    It's so much more complicated than I can put into words... the bottom
    line is, I got so fed up with her up and down behavior [before I
    understood it], I finally stopped attempting friendship with her.  This
    only confirmed her hidden fears of rejection and sunk her deeper into
    the depression.  
    
    I felt horrible about this.  I now see her on occasion around the
    neighborhood but she ignores me completely... yet in her face and eyes
    I still see the "dead" expression from the use of prozac.  
    
    It really is a horrible jail ... depression.  The best analogy I can
    give it as an outsider is it appears as though you are being buried
    alive and can't move or speak to let anyone know you're in there.
    
    

    
    
    	It's hard to relate to depression unless you've been there. Be glad
    you can't relate...
    
    
    jim

    .79
    
    I'm glad that I can't relate to depression, however, can you or anyone
    help someone who cares be effective in friendship with a person who is
    clinically depressed?

    
    
    	re: .80
    
    	are you really up for that kind of commitment? My wife suffers from
    bipolar disorder and it's EXTREMELY difficult to deal with at times. 
    
    	If you want to give it a go, watch out for your own well being.
    Being around a person with clinical depression can bring you down also.
    Have this friend over for coffee, dinner, to take a walk, etc., but
    don't try to be her counselor. It will do nothing but frustrate the
    both of you (and could be counter-productive in her therapy). Just be a
    friend...plain and simple. No heroics.
    
    	I'd also suggest picking up a book on depression and giving it a
    read. A quick trip to the library should yield more than enough reading
    material to keep you busy a long while. 
    
    	feel free to write me off line if you want to get more indepth.
    
    	jim
           

    .80
    
    I don't want to be a counselor... I always thought that depression had
    a piece of "lonliness" attached to it.  Perhaps this is where I am
    wrong and attempting to be a "friend" as a way to offset some of the
    loneliness is why I was unsuccessful?
    
    

    
    	Oh, don't get me wrong, lonliness is a BIG part of being
    depressed, but it's a self-induced lonliness. You can't get hurt if you
    don't let anyone in beyond the "wall", know what I mean? If this person
    you know wants your friendship (and you hers), then by all means be her
    friend. BUT, you'll have to accept all the little quirks that go along
    with befriending someone who is depressed. You will be shunned
    somedays, smothered others, and even yelled at occasionally. It's not
    easy.
    
    	jim

    .83
    
    Yeah, I wish I knew that before I bleeped back at her.  I didn't curse
    or anything, I just told her she was rude and that it was unacceptable
    for me to allow myself to be treated in that manner.  She never spoke
    to me again.  Later on I read about depression and discovered her
    "rudeness" was merely a symptom.

	Bummer, Nancy. 

Depressed people are incredibly difficult to deal with.  I say this as a
person who has been a severely depressed person in the past, as one who has
befriended several depressed people, and as a professional who works with
depressed people.

There isn't much you can do to make someone undepressed, so I guess trying
to cheer them up ain't going to get far.  Being alone in a crowd of friends
is also something you're going to see a lot with depressed people.   Yes,
loneliness is a factor, but it's the kind of loneliness that human contact
can't fix.

The best you can do for a depressed friend is to be there with them,
understand that they are depressed, and not try to talk them out of the
depression or "fix" things for them.  The best thing you can do for
yourself is to draw some clear boundaries: Make sure you get your needs
met.  If being around this depressed person is dragging you down, then
limit the exposure, or figure out where you're getting hooked, and limit
that hook.

Furthermore, someone might be depressed on top of having other personality
traits that make them difficult to be around.  Learn to separate the
effects of the depression from the person being irritating on their own
merits, if such is the case.

About the only thing you can do for a person is to be understanding, make
sure they know you care and that you can listen (to an extent that doesn't
overwhelm you), and that you feel that the person has worth in spite of how
they feel. 

I could go on forever, but I don't feel like doing the typing.

    .86
    
    Thanks that sounds pretty consistent with what others have written as
    well.
    
    I guess I hadn't really considered that "personality traits" played
    into the rudeness.  Perhaps I wasn't that far off on my boundary
    setting. It's just too bad it ended our relationship.  Overall, she was
    a very interesting person who could carry on a great conversations.  
    
    

    
    
    	good luck Nancy....hope everything works out.
    
    
    jim

    Nancy,
    
    Not everyone who suffers from depression is rude or nasty.  Clinical
    depression had me by the throat a few years ago and I hope I NEVER
    have to go through that again.  My depression was linked to a
    chemical imbalance (hormonal); one little pill a day (not in the
    anti-depressant category) and I'm just fine.
    
    My friends noticed the onset because I got very quiet.  One co-worker
    asked why I had stopped laughing.  The people who helped me the most
    were those who just said that they were aware that I was having a
    difficult time and to let them know if/when they could do anything to
    help.  A savvy EAP person recognized what was going on and got me
    to the people who were able to provide a solution.
    
    I'm fairly easy going by nature; I enjoy laughing and kidding around,
    so when I started to withdraw people noticed it right away. 
    Personally, I felt more comfortable discussing the particulars of my
    situation with a professional rather than friends.  Even a professional
    could not help until another doctor discovered the chemical imbalance.
    
    Sadin,
    
    My thoughts go out to you; a former co-worker suffered from a bi-polar
    disorder.  When she was in the manic phase she was actually a lot of
    fun to be around most of the time; when she was in the downside every-
    one just tiptoed around her and tried to stay out of the line of fire.
    

    
>    Sadin,
>    
>    My thoughts go out to you; 
    
    	Thanks. Things are much easier now that my wife is on the proper
    medication and has received a few years of counseling. One day at a
    time, you know? 
    
    
    	jim

    Thanks for the responses in here.  Sometimes in the heat of the
    discussions in this forum we fail to remember the human side to people.
    
    Thanks again,
    Nancy

>    <<< Note 606.91 by JULIET::MORALES_NA "Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze" >>>

>    Thanks for the responses in here.  Sometimes in the heat of the
>    discussions in this forum we fail to remember the human side to people.

	Who's this "we"?

    EDP perhaps?

    
    <looks in Nancy's pocket for mouse>
    

    A real Nostradebmus would predict the mouse.
           

	Is that like Richard Gere and the gerbil? (although I always wondered
why Don Zimmer was up his butt!)

    
    	RE: .94
    
    	Hmmm, 1st you're kissing her and now you're groping around
    	in her pants.
    
    	I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
    

    
    I think I should fold my tent quietly and go home.
    

    
    	I had 1 pitched for a little while there but it's since been
    	taken down.
    

pretty small tent.....

    Shawn, Deb. You're unhappy because you're two in tents.
    

wow.... how do you do that so consistantly???

    That joke is older than me, matey.

Patient: "I'm a wigwam!  I'm a teepee!  I'm a wigwam!  I'm a teepee!"
Shrink: "You're too tense."

 .104  _Somebody_ had to say it. 

  ZZ    Who's this "we"?
    
    Well, you've intruded upon my synsytyvytyes before!

>        <<< Note 606.106 by MKOTS3::JMARTIN "Madison...5'2'' 95 lbs." >>>

	What are you talking about, Jack?  No wait - never mind.