Conference back40::soapbox

Its a nicknack, Paddyeack, give
the frog a loan


Look at that S car go

Unique up on it (I hate that one)

    
    
    
    <---
    
    I always heard it as  "it's a nicknack, patty black, give the frog a
    loan..."
    
    
    

 The way I heard the joke, the woman's name was Ms. Paddywack.  






 Jim

>>Barefoot boy with teak of chan

	I thought it was "boy-foot bear with teaks of Chan".

>Pardon me Roy, is that thecat that ate your new shoes?


 I heard it as "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
 

    
    	"I think so, but I don't think my ***hole can stand another
    	hard roll."
    

  - Now look, don't start that again.

  - I doubt it - they didn't last year.

    
    No, I said: "Get me two punts and a canoe!"
    

what's a panoe?

Chris.

    RE: .11
    
    A panoo actually... refers to someone from India/Pakistan/etc.
    

        "The _posse_, Tonto! I said bring the _posse_!"
        
        The bad marksman shoots but can't hit!
        
        "Chess nuts roasting by an open foyer"
        "Too many chess nuts in the foyer"
        
        "Don't keep all yer Basques in one exit!"

RE: 11
	Panoo, panoe?

	With an Ethernet

ME

>	With an Ethernet

the mind boggles.

Boggley,

Chris.

    I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco.
    
    He was charged with transporting gulls over state lines for immortal
    porpoises.
    
    Obernockerty tunes but once.
    

    re.16
    
    that was state lions

    re .17 re .16
    
    no, it was staid lions (they were sleeping); it's supposed to be a
    quintuple pun.
    
    
    re .13
    	"Chess nuts *boasting* by an open foyer"
    
    
    Others...
    
    "Ensign, bring me my brown trousers."
    
    "Good, though."
    
    "But that's all right. He was used to hard ships."
    
    

        "That's okay, sarge, but most of us just ride her into town."
        

    Knock Knock!
    Who's There?
    Guess
    
    
    Knock Knock!
    Who's There?
    Bite
    
    

    
    
    	Thats the beer that made Milt Fammy walk us.
    
    
    		DAC
    
    

  Hey, who's that guy up there with John?

    Studebaker Avanti?

    "I don't know about the one on the left or the one on the right, but
    the one in the middle sure looks like Willie Nelson."

He who has a Tates is lost.

I've come to seize your berry, not appraise it.

 er..make that two tickets to Pittsburg..

 Under my buccin' hat

    
    "I told you he was a dick 'tater"
    

The beer that made Mill Famey walk us.

    "Ya see this? My momma said with one of these I can have all 'a them that
    I want."
    
    

    and the Eskimo says to the Mechanic:No, actually I've just eaten an
    icecream!

    I thought it was frostbite.

No, it's mayonnaise from the tuna sandwich I just ate.

        "Ah dinna ken whaur ye've been laddie
        but ah see ye took furrst prize!"
        
        

    
    	"111?  Damn ... beat me by 2!!"
    

re: .38

I like that song!

Bob

    
    i love the kilt song!!!!!
    
    
    

 
A Scotsman, clad in kilts, left a bar one evening fair;
One could tell by how he walked, he'd drunk more than his share.
He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet,
And staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
 
Well, later on, two young and lovely girls just happened by;
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built!
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt?"
 
They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be,
Lifted up his kilt above the waist so they could see;
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had blessed him with upon his birth.
 
They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We'd best be gone!
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
And as a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star of the Scot's kilt-lifting show.
 
The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees;
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and he gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes:
"My friend, I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"

    	John Denver sings that, no?  Appropriate for him, given his
    	public drinking record.

    
    	Done by Brian Bauers.
    

>       <<< Note 400.44 by BUSY::SLABOUNTY "Trouble with a capital 'T'" >>>
    
>    	Done by Brian Bauers
        
        Corrrrect!   And  taken  from  a  joke so old that I kicked the
        slats out of  my  cradle laughing when my old man first told me
        it.
        
        
    

    
    
    Actually, a version of that song was also done by John Denver
    a few years ago.  So, you are both right.
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    
    THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    i have always thought that john denver did that song, but no one in
    here believed me!!!!  used to play it a lot on the old wzou and on 
    looney tunes tuesday on waaf...
    
    thanks &y... :>
    

A collection of shaggy dog story punchlines from alt.humor.puns:

 1. The squire on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the other
    two squires.
 2. two obese Patties,
     special Ross,
         Lester Cheese picking bunions
             on a Sesame Street bus!
 3. Moral: Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.
 4. Moral: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
 5. Moral: Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.
 6. Moral: If the foo shits, wear it.
 7. Super California Mystic Expert Halitosis
 8. I wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this.
 9. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in
      an open foyer.
10. I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco.
11. Moral: A niche in time saves Stein.
12. SOW ROPE, NATEY-O!
13. Well, there's something about an aqua volvo, man...
14. Moral: A washed pot never oils.
15. Transporting mynas over sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
  [Other version of the punch line:]
  [       Carrying gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.]
16. It's a long way to tip a Raree.
17. Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear
18. For making an obscene clone fall.
19. Doctor, the thong is ended, but the malady lingers on!
20. Where were you when the fit hit the Shan?
21.  ...  They had left no tern unstoned.
22.  ... abscess make the fart go HONDA!
23. Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!
24. These are the 'times' that dry men's soles.
      [Alternate: These are the soles that time men's tries]
25. and he thus became the first chicken to catch a tory.
26. The next day, the headline in the paper read "Peter Viper
        wrecks a truck of pickled Steppers".
27. Ike's Aunt gets nose hat is fact, son
28. Dee, who flaps last, flaps left
29. That's the beer that made Mel Famie walk us.
30. the first time a reign was called on account of the game.
31. Opporknockity tunes but once.
    [Alternate: O'Pernokkety tunes but once.]
32. Came the reply, "That was no laser--that was my knife!"
33. Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!
34. Stop right where you are, boyfoot bear with teak of Chan!
35. A gritty pearl is Michael, LLD.
36. Which just goes to show that, a Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
37. Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?
38. We have come to seize your berries, not to appraise them.
39. When you're out of slits, you're out of pier!
40. We can't have archaic and edict, too.
41. Contributing to the delinquency of a miner!
42. I'm booking over that 4 clove leaver, though I've overcooked before!
43. Knick Knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan.
44. Another case where the spirit was willing but the flush was weak.
45. Time's fun when your having flies
46. A fiery 'stead with the spite of Leed, A clout of dust
         And a hearty 'Buy old Silver'
47. It's a rambling rack from George the Turk with an elephant engineer!
48. All of Hing's courses and all of Ming's ken couldn't get gum
      tea to feather a hen.
49. MORAL: Let a swine be your gorilla in a grainy, grainy bay. And if
    your Swede decries, just tell her that a swine will always pay...
50. ... stilling two birds with one's cone.
51. General Minh prefer bronze.
52. With fronds like these, who needs anemones?
53. Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!
54. Better Nate than lever.
55. The hills are alive with the hounds of Munich.
56. He who has a Tate's is lost.
57. Arti chokes 3 for a dollar at local market.
58. MORAL: A stolen roan gathers no moose
59. ... but actually mah hammered alley is really cashews clay.
60. but of course, the Czech is always in the male.
61. the star mangled spanner.
62. See! even adders can multiply on a log table
63. MORAL: You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
64. You fools! we have ways to make you tock!
65. I don't know, but his face sure rings a bell
66. No, I'm a frayed knot.
67. Because Herman the German was used to hard ships.
68. I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother.
69. You're thor!!! I can't even thit!!
70. She is just suffering from pre-minstrel tension.
71. Yeast is yeast, and nest is next and never the Maine shall tweet.

  re #35 - wow. ;>

    
    	The ultimate "shaggy dog" punchline is:
    
    	Look both ways before you cross the street.
    
    	[This one might be in HUMOR somewhere but I'm not sure].
    

"It says you got an 'F' in sex!"

    and then Tarzan said "Jane, it's a jungle out there"