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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:	Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:	No more new notes
Moderator:	WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS

Created:	Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	862
Total number of notes:	339684

267.0. "Fate of the Onion" by PERFOM::LICEA_KANE (when it's comin' from the left) Wed Jan 25 1995 09:19

    For our next movie, we review "Fate of the Onion"
    
    
    Well, this was a simple comedy, centered around three comics on
    stage.  This seems to be a trend here, trying to cast comics in acting
    roles.  Some comics can pull it off.  Some can't.
    
    Here we have:
    
    	* Will - You know the type, the guy in high school who always
    	  was heading off for a Big Mac, a typical eating machine, but
    	  now he's not young anymore so those burgers are going to fat
    	  and he's spending lots of money on really nice but graying hair.
    	* Bert - He's the jock, but he's the boring jock.  Not football
    	  or basketball.  Soccer or cross country.  He's also
    	  not young anymore, and since he's not getting his time on
    	  the tennis courts anymore, he's putting on pounds.  You
    	  suspect his hair is just a bit too dark.  
    	* Ned - His idea of exersize?  Running his mouth.  So, he
    	  was the fat even in high school.  Now he's really really fat.
    
    Alot of money went into a lavish production.  Huge set.  I mean
    HUGE!  All to support the Will, Bert and Ned trio.  Will stood in front
    on the stage, but he seemed convinced he didn't belong there.
    Bert seated to the left, and Ned to the right.  Ned frankly,
    looked like he wanted to upstage everybody.
    
    And thousands of extras.  They filled the hall with claques.  They
    must have raided every rotary club in town to fill that hall.
    
    But the script!  Argh.  With all that money on set and extras, they
    should have spent some more money on the script.
    
    All in all, the same old same old Saturday Night Live skit trying to
    play out as a full length movie.  Listen, when you have five minutes
    of jokes, do a five minute sketch, don't pad it out into an hour
    and a half movie, ok?
    
    And don't do the same joke over and over again.  The first time Bert
    fell asleep -- funny.  The second time -- funny.
    
    But the ninth time -- not funny.
    
    And Ned.
    The first time you winked to your clapping claque -- funny.
    The second time you smiled at the applauding horde - funny.
    But after that, boooooooooooooring.
    
    Next time, see if you can spend some money and hire some Letterman
    writers, OK?
    
    
    I'd have to agree with you here.  But the most amazing thing to
    me, I've seen Ned's stand up.  This is a funny funny guy!
    Even Bert, who you either love his schtick or hate it, has
    a talent with speaking.  But for whatever reason, the writers
    thought they could get by with Bert and Ned playing silent parts.
    
    
    
    That had me stumped.  Bert in particular, I guess they thought he
    could pull it off, but he came across as just plain stiff.
    
    
    Well, that's his schtick.
    
    But as bad as the first act was, act two was a feeble attempt at
    parody of parody.  Here they tried replacing the comic Will with
    supermodel Tina.  And was it just me, or did they skimp on the
    budget here, with a much smaller set and about half a claque?
    
    
    It wasn't just you.
    
    
    Now, as unfunny as having a comic do bad jokes can be, there are
    few things in life as unfunny as having a supermodel babe do
    bad jokes.
    
    
    I agree with you.  Even though I thought Kathy was funny in
    Loaded Weapon 1, I didn't find Tina funny in this.  At all.
    
    
    And at least if they were going to try the parody for the second
    act, do it to the hilt.  If the first act had three ugly guys
    on stage, then the second should have three babes on stage, am
    I right?  And you need a whole claque, in fact, you need two
    claques, am I right?
    
    
    You are right.
    
    
    We both give this a big thumbs down.
    
    
    								-mr. bill

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
267.1	Deservedly so...	SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI	Zebras should be seen and not herd	`Wed Jan 25 1995 09:20`	12
	#### # ########### ## ########### ## #### #### #### ### ### #### ### #### ### ## #### ### ##### #### ### #### #### # #### ### # ### #### ### #### #### #### ### # ### #### ### #### #### ######### # ### ######### ## #### #### ### ######### #### ## #### #### ### # #### #### ### ## #### #### # #### #### ## ### ## #### #### # #### #### #### ##### ######## ##### ##### ####### ######## ##
267.2		MKOTS3::JMARTIN	I lied; I hate the fat dinosaur	`Wed Jan 25 1995 09:27`	1
	Well, we know who lord Haag handed his sceptor to!!!
267.3		SMURF::BINDER	gustam vitare	`Wed Jan 25 1995 09:31`	7
	.2 sceptre. and the sheepster didn't hand it to the polack, it has been usurped. as has the design of the letters, which design is � 1993 by Northern Spy Software.
267.4		MKOTS3::JMARTIN	I lied; I hate the fat dinosaur	`Wed Jan 25 1995 09:36`	5
	Actually, lord Haag had his own version of Crap that was not Northern Spy Freeware. Lord Haag has relinquished his rights to our new lord Andy. Long Live lord Andy, may he reign over the box forever!
267.5		POLAR::RICHARDSON	Belgian Burger Disseminator	`Wed Jan 25 1995 09:39`	1
	This troubles me.
267.6		MOLAR::DELBALSO	I (spade) my (dogface)	`Wed Jan 25 1995 10:44`	2
	Let's drop the "lord" crap before it gets out of hand . . . .
267.7		MKOTS3::JMARTIN	I lied; I hate the fat dinosaur	`Wed Jan 25 1995 10:46`	1
	Be glad, I used to call him lord hemerhoid!
267.8		SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI	Zebras should be seen and not herd	`Wed Jan 25 1995 11:59`	14
	How'd you know I had those??? Binder's right... He sent me that "Crap" a few years ago because he felt the one I used back then wasn't original enough.... I'll have to go back and find it and give credit where credit is due... Hang on....
267.9	Found it!!!	SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI	Zebras should be seen and not herd	`Wed Jan 25 1995 12:00`	18
	SMURF::BINDER "Ut res per opera mea meliores fiant" 16 lines 26-MAY-1994 10:17 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- krawiecki, couldn't you at least show a little artistry with the bang? #### # ########### ## ########### ## #### #### #### ### ### #### ### #### ### ## #### ### ##### #### ### #### #### # #### ### # ### #### ### #### #### #### ### # ### #### ### #### #### ######### # ### ######### ## #### #### ### ######### #### ## #### #### ### # #### #### ### ## #### #### # #### #### ## ### ## #### #### # #### #### #### ##### ######## ##### ##### ####### ######## ## This file is FREEWARE. Use and distribute it far and wide. Design Copyright (c) 1994 by Northern Spy Software.
267.10		POLAR::RICHARDSON	Belgian Burger Disseminator	`Wed Jan 25 1995 12:34`	16
	I somehow prefer HAAG's CCCCCCCC RRRRRRRRR AAAAAAAAAA PPPPPPPP CC CC RR RR AA AA PP PP CC C RR RR AA AA PP PP CC RR RR AA AA PP PP CC RR RR AA AA PP PP CC RRRRRRRRRRR AAAAAAAAAAAA PPPPPPPPPPP CC RRRRR AA AA PP CC RR RR AA AA PP CC RR RR AA AA PP CC C RR RR AA AA PP CC CC RR RR AA AA PP CCCCCCCC RR RR AA AA PP
267.11		MPGS::MARKEY	Wewease Woger!	`Wed Jan 25 1995 12:46`	13
	CCCCCCCC AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA PPPPPPPP CC CC AA AA RR RR PP PP CC C AA AA RR RR PP PP CC AA AA RR RR PP PP CC AA AA RR RR PP PP CC AAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRR PPPPPPPPPPP CC AA AA RRRRR PP CC AA AA RR RR PP CC AA AA RR RR PP CC C AA AA RR RR PP CC CC AA AA RR RR PP CCCCCCCC AA AA RR RR PP
267.12	Alright!!! Fish for supper!!	SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI	Zebras should be seen and not herd	`Wed Jan 25 1995 12:47`	1

267.13		ROWLET::AINSLEY	Less than 150 kts. is TOO slow!	`Wed Jan 25 1995 13:06`	4
	I was going to ask the mods to invoke 1.6, rule #2, for this topic, but then I saw it referred to 'clever'. Ooops. Can't apply in this case. Bob
267.14	With permission.....	NETCAD::WOODFORD	Doin' The Thorazine Shuffle.	`Wed Jan 25 1995 15:03`	19
	******* * * **** * * ***** * * **** * * * * * * ** * * * * ** * * **** * * **** * * * * * * * * * * * * **** **** * * **** **** * *** IIIIIIIII TTTTTTTTT I T I T IIIIIIIII T Copyright (c) 1994 by Mailroom Inc.
267.15		MKOTS3::JMARTIN	I lied; I hate the fat dinosaur	`Wed Jan 25 1995 15:06`	1
	OH NOOOO!@!!!! THE GHOST OF MAILROOM LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conference back40::soapbox

267.0. "Fate of the Onion" by PERFOM::LICEA_KANE (when it&#039;s comin&#039; from the left) Wed Jan 25 1995 09:19

267.0. "Fate of the Onion" by PERFOM::LICEA_KANE (when it's comin' from the left) Wed Jan 25 1995 09:19