Conference back40::soapbox

    ....had a pet die and cry over it for days?

    ....polished your car so much you could see your reflection in it?

    Cried over your currnet prey before field dressing it?

    wished Haag would just shut up?

    ....looked into a childs face and marvelled at the absolute trust they
    have in you?

    ....walked hand in hand with someone you love on a warm open beach?

    ....seen close friends die before your very eyes?

    ....thrown tomatoes at the bullies driving down mainstreet? and scored
    a direct hit and ran like hell?

    ....cried over leaving a loved one when being shipped off to war?

    ....been standing on a damn when it suddently gave way?

    ...too bad yer just recycling the ones from the last box...I gnu ewe
    didn't have an originality...

    ....poured gasoline on an ant pile, light it, and watch them fry?

    ....been so deeply and passionately in love you didn't think you could
    live without the other?

    ....had a job where you went to the boss and just said "shove it"?

    ....ridden horse across immense prairies on a warm summer night?

    ....slept 24 hours straight thru?

    ....seen a battleship fire 16 inch guns?

    ....flown in a help at 150 knots at tree top level?

    ....had a dog and couldn't think of what to name him so you just called
    him "dog"?

| <<< Note 214.14 by HAAG::HAAG "Rode hard. Put up wet." >>>

| ....had a job where you went to the boss and just said "shove it"?


	is that one of blowness?

    ....watched the wild mustangs run free?

 Wondered what a "help" was, and how to fly one?

    .....had a bird fly by and crap on your nose?

    ....gotten chomped on by a snapping turtle?

	.......Watched Gene go off the deep end in the box.....

    ....placed your hand upon a nuclear bomb?

    ....been let down hard by somebody you thought you could trust?

    ....risked your life for someone else?

    ....said something stupid in a bar and 4 others just pound you? and
    later realize you had every bit of it coming?

    ....spent big money on an impulse?

    ....been caught skinny dipping?

	............Danced with Glen.............

    ....caught rattlers alive?

    ....shot two antelope dead with one shot?

	...........Drank tee many martoonies

    .....raised baby rabbits and cried when the hound dog got in their cage
    and killed them all?

    ....ate dog?

	..........Been so bored in your life ??

	..........been eaten by a dog ??

    
    had a slow day like Gene Haag is having one today.
    

	..............Wanted a drink at work so bad ????

	...........Needed a drink at work so bad ??

	..........been clueless ??????

	...........felt lost without the box ?????????

	.........been on a rampage ?????????

	.............had too much memory in your system ??

	...........seen a hundred bottles of beer on the wall ???

 Wished someone would just go away...

	........wished some folks would lighten up ??

    ...been so bored you got totally depressed??
    
    

 Wished someone would just lighten up?

	..........enjoyed your vibrating pager.....???

    
    0-2 6 13-16 27 29 30 35 38-45 48-52 yes (especially 52).
                                                           
    3-5 5-10 12 17-19 21-26 28 31-34 36 37 46 47 no.

    Resigned...?

    
    
    ....sucked a used tampax dry.
    
    
    

No.  Demonstrate.

    wished you had the famous CRAP stamp of the Haagmeister.

    
    heard all this self adulation in a previous box...
    

    
    "...been mellow."
    
    No, Olivia Neutron-Bomb, I haven't. Now bugger off.

    
    Been able to come back to your wife after a war?

    pulled your pants down in a court of law?

    
    RE:
    
================================================================================
Note 214.55                     Have you ever...                        55 of 61
MASALA::SNEIL "J.A.F.O"                               6 lines  22-DEC-1994 20:21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    What the hell is the matter with you?  Do you absolutely HAVE to post
    crap like that?  God...I can't remember *ever* hearing an adult say 
    anything that tasteless and stupid.
    
    Next time you feel tempted, please take it to MASALA::TAMPON_JOKES.
    
    Hope this helps!
       

    
    Scott...
    
    		H L and S...
    
    8-))
    

    

     re 62.


     If that's the worst thing you've heard from an adult.......you must
    have had a very sheltered life.
    
    
      G.A.L.
    
    
     SCott
    
    

    
    ...worked at Digital into the middle of the night, knowing there's a
    fair chance your efforts will make no difference, but just in case ?
    
      bb

    
    Yep...4 nights every other week.
    
    

    ....stretched 1/2 mile of barbed wire and had it snap...
    
    
       POOOOOOOOOOOOOP....WHOOOOOOOOSHHH
    
    and watched it come back at you?

    woken up in the morning when it's quiet and think you may be the only
    one alive on the planet?

    wonder what crows shout at each other?
    

                         SNARF!  SNNNNAAAAAARRRRRFFF!!!

    
    Note 214.64

    >If that's the worst thing you've heard from an adult....you must
    >have had a very sheltered life.
    
    Could be.....or maybe I just hang with a better class of people.
    
    
    >G.A.L.
    
    Got a great one, thanks.  Sorry 'bout yours.
    
    jc    
    

    ...wondered where this topic was going.
    

    ...yelled "movie" in a crowded fire theatre.
    

    
    ...been so mad at someone you just wanted to cry as you beat the pulp
    out of her??
    
    

    
    have you ever wondered *why* it is beautiful?
    
    jeff

    wished you were more than one person?

    Ask Mr. Richardson AKA Glenn,Deirdre,Jimi,Pauline,Rex,Nathan,Melanie,Ursula
    
    They know :-)

    must be difficult getting a good opinion of oneself with multiple
    personalities

    Thanks a lot Brian, now we don't fit on one line.  8-\
   
    Glenn/Deirdre/Pamela/Franny/Ned/Dierdre/Anton/Sean/Alice/Jimi/Pauline/Rex/
    Nathan/Melanie/Ursula
    
    
    

    
    
    ........wondered how Pamela Anderson fits into that swimsuit
    in Baywatch.
    
    

    
    
    ....wondered how Pamela Anderson gets OUT of that swimsuit..
    
    MANY MANY TIMES!!!!!!
    
    

    how old some of the boxers are??? :-)

    
    ...and what they look like?

    ...maybe it's a water based paint. Got a hose?

    .86
    
    worries me.... anybody know what he's talking about?

    -.1 you need to read the string, then put the little story together
     dear... :-)
    
     Please don't make me worry you...
    
     Chip

    felt like  you were the only one who didn't "get it"?

    
    Naah, I NEVER get it.  Never!

    Only once but I got it eventually.  
    
    If I must....
    
    Chip is eluding to the notion that the swimsuit on the tv person
    mentioned in a recent reply may not have been made of fabric
    but may in fact have been applied with a brush.  In other words, so
    tight it looks like it was painted on.  Never having seen this show as
    it would interrupt the 700 Club and VCRs are the devil's toy (allows
    one to watch R rated tapes and such you know) I cannot vouch for the
    lecherous suggestion above.  
    
    Brian

 RE .85


 Some of us are quite good looking, thank you ;-)

    Some of us have flabby white legs and diarrhea.

    ... thanks Bri'. I too, only watch mass on Sunday mornings and
        the 700 Club    NOT!
    
        Chip

    >>how old some of the boxers are??? :-)
    
    42. and feeling really lucky i made it past 25.

    
    Well!  Thank you for sharing that with us.

    You're the same age as me Gene? I thought you were much, much older
    :-)

    COSSACK!!

    
    
    
    He only looks much older. ;')  Right you old faht?

    aaaarrrghhhh and I was hoping to get this one!
    
    Congrats Deb... :-)

    
    
    ...ever really cared how pamela anderson gets in or out of her
    swimsuits, painted on or otherwise???
    
    her attitude/ego is as big as her bra size...
    
    

    .... tickled a man with flabby white legs and diarrhea?

    Don't be intimidated by Pam's, um, er bazoooms......miracle of
    implants, ya know.
    
    

    Heard a song you wrote on the radio...

    I'd never deface my possessions like that, bri 8^).

    ... stood right next to a world class singer as they sang...

    ... played a pipe organ ...

    ... participated as someone picked from the audience to do something
    moderately (or completely) goofy at an MGM theme park...

    ... watched a kid's face the first time they flew in an airplane...

    ... had your heart stop, even if just for a brief moment...

    ... eaten Lobster Savannah at Loch Obre Cafe...

    ... had high tea at the Waldorf Hotel in London...

    ... shot the exact middle out of a target at 100 yds with a high
    powered rifle...

    ... felt the amazing whump of a bass guitar played through a stadium
    amplification rig...

    ... kissed a man full on the lips just cause you knew it would piss
    him off bigtime...

    .117
    
    Nope nevah done that, haven't been there, don't wanna be! :-)

    Oh yes you do!
    
    That corset is coming off someday!

    
    GLENN!  Not everyone is so anxious to shed their clothes in public
    as you (et.al.) are.
    

    I've never shed my clothes in public, I just pulled my pants down,
    virtually of course.
    
    Glenn/Deirdre/Pamela/Franny/Ned/Dierdre/Anton/Sean/Alice/Jimi/Pauline/Rex/
    Nathan/Melanie/Ursula

    >>He only looks much older. ;')  Right you old faht?
    
    who you calling an old fart, you short fat git?

    >... shot the exact middle out of a target at 100 yds with a high
    >powered rifle...
    
    ... at 400 yards..

    Oh it's only a virtual moon
    Hanging over a flabby thigh...
    
    -b

    	re .110
    
    	In the summer of 1993 on our trip to Disneyworld, I was picked by
    	Merlin the Magician to be the grown-up to try to pull King Arthur's
    	sword out of the stone at the noon show.

    >>... participated as someone picked from the audience to do something
    >>    moderately (or completely) goofy at an MGM theme park...
    
    
    yep...1990...in the 'sound effects' studio.  dropped the chandelier in
    the chevy chase/martin short skit.  way off, tho...but it was really
    fun.
    
    

    Hot damn! That was the same thing I did Raq! Except I was the "Foley
    Artist" who walked on the gravel, wood and marble, closed the book,
    struck the match, and did the "body fall".
    
    My wife was in the TV show... she played "Ethel" in the I Love
    Lucy Sketch where they stuff chocolates into their hat and apron...
    
    -b

    Oh, BTW Raq. I have a present for you... I'll catch you via email
    tomorrow or Friday. I have to leave now...
    
    -b

    
    cool beans!!!  
    
    two of my friends that were with me that trip were picked to be the
    fishermen in the tug boat studio...they got mighty soaked... :.
    
    

    
    
    RE .102
    
    Yes. I care EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!!!
    
    

    
    
    ....found a free gift in a cornflakes packet that is ACTUALLY
    useful.
    
    

    
    ... quit smoking twice on the very same day ?

    ... spat at someone ?
    

    ... been photographed while being nude ?

    ... been thrown into a river (fully dressed) ?

    ... lied to yourself ?

    ... stood on the 10m diving tower, to scared to jump but even more 
    afraid of the embarrasment of climbing down again ?

    
    
    ..wished the Coyote would catch and eat that ****ing Roadrunner!!
    
    MEEP MEEP now ya sh*t........
    
    

    ... it would lend a needful veneer of culture to his otherwise
    depressing contributions to this Noble Forum.
    
    Hope this helps...
    

    
    
    ..wondered how some people ( especially to the noter above ) have
    no sense of humor or imagination...
    
    8^))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    
    

    
    Humor is more than babes in bathsuits.
    
    
    And Imagination is a task for the mind, not the behind. It's
    more than spitting out scatology. 
    
    IMNSH
    	Heiko
    
    

    ...babes in bathing suits is serious business (unless your totally
    clueless)

    
    
    re <<<<<<<<
    
    Thanks for the support!!!!!!!!!!
    
    
    P.S. You use your IMAGINATION for the babes in suits..
    
    

    >>> ... played a pipe organ ...
    
    is that like the skin flute??  :>
    
    >>..wondered how some people ( especially to the noter above ) have
    >>    no sense of humor or imagination...
    
    did you ever thinq that maybe some people (especially the noter in
    question) hasa sense of humor and an imagination on a much higher level
    than your own?
    
    
    

                     Dat's wot Pam sez to her suit, too...

    -.1 methinks it's t'other way 'round.

    I'll have to check on that, next time I get the chance...
    
                              ... in my DREAMS!!
    

     ... no, I'll do it and let you know. :-)

    
    
    Let me apologise to all those 'SUPERIOR' beings out there. Let me get
    down on ma knees and beg for forgiveness. I did'nt know that GOD was
    writing these notes!!
    If your sense of humor is sooooooooooo high then why have I not even
    tried to laugh at some of your " witty " notes.
    
    
                                        From a LESSER being.....
    
    

    
    i never said 'my' notes were witty...
    
    

    
    Perhaps we should fix MACDONALD up with SCOTTK.
                         

    
    yeah right...with our luq, they'd find a way to breed...
    
    

    Raq... i find your notes very witty.

    
    to quote a friend:
    
    {simper}
    
    
    :>
    
    

    
    
    Sorry Raq.
    
    Slip of the finger..
    
    
    Keith.
    

    RE: MASALA::MACDONALD
    
    Stop grovelling.  It is unseemly and demeaning to yourself.  Wear your
    lesserness with pride and revel in your lowly lot in life.  Celebrate
    your diversity even those around you would ridicule you for it.  Hope
    this helps.  BTW, there are no deities in here though some will try to
    pose as deific beings being semi-pious and all.  Now, go sign in like a
    good lad and let us tear your bio to shreds.  
    	
    RE: Chip - You're not your as in you're welcome.  
    
    Brian

    
    
    If I was'nt here today pi$$ing people off then you guys would'nt
    have anything to talk about would ya!
    You'd all be sitting at yer terminals bored stiff.
    
    Us Scots have a reputation to keep. We all love a gid arguement.
    
    

    <-?

    For Chip's edification..... 
    
                        <<< Note 214.143 by WMOIS::GIROUARD_C >>>
    
        ...babes in bathing suits is serious business (unless your totally
        clueless)					      ^^^^ 	
    
    Brian :-)

    ...i'd rather be perusing Baywatch, er, PA's paint job.

    That explains it, MacDonald's a wee scot :-)
    

    
    
    Wot!!!!!   With a quarter pound under ma kilt , I think not!
    
    Keith
    

    >>> ... played a pipe organ ...
    
    is that like the skin flute??  :>
    
    Ouch. Well, I don't know for sure, seeing as skin flute is one
    instrument that I _don't_ play, but I doubt it's anywhere near
    the fun of playing a pipe organ. Quite frankly, the felling I
    get banging out Bach's Fugue in Am on a five manual sixteen
    ranker compares most favorably with any squirt the ol' flute
    has ever had the pleasure of... and I guarantee you when I
    get those 32' babies pumping at low frequency you would heartily
    agree with me. More fun I tell you then a wait at Pizzaria
    Uno.
    
    -b

    >> but I doubt it's anywhere near the fun of playing a pipe organ.
    
    maybe she's doing it wrong...
    
    :>
    
    
    

    
    NOTHING is more fun than a wait at Pizzeria Uno's.  NOTHING.  And I
    have recent experience {ohhhh}.
    
    

    Raq:
    
    Well, you were originally talking about giving as opposed to getting.
    Now gettings another story. Although lately, I've been learning the
    lesson of Christmas. Namely it's supposed to be better to give than
    to receive. Well, I've always been a very generous person in that
    regard. At least to the 50% of the population that isn't configured
    the same way I am. However, the receiving I'm afraid has gotten
    rather sparse, and even with my overwhelming generosity, I'm finding
    the giving rather lean as well. :-(
    
    -b

    >NOTHING is more fun than a wait at Pizzeria Uno's.  NOTHING.  And I
    >have recent experience {ohhhh}.
    
    An properly motivated ostinado in the bass register can produce the
    same effect. Demonstrating this fact and watching the reaction has
    to be one of the most pleasant experiences I've ever had... :-)
    
    -b

    
    -b...i am very sorry to hear that...but new years is coming
    up...resolutions and all...ya nevah know... :>
    
    

    
    .168
    
    I'm feeling a bit titillated.

    Me 'n my organ will be right over.
    
    -b

             She alwayz was a sucker for a little Cantus Firmus...

    I'll be over with my organ grinder.

    
    OWWWWWW!
    

    
    jumped into a cactus naked?

    
    jumped a cactus naked?

    
    jumped a naked cactus?

    
    ...found something you were looking for, in a 
    place you checked *at least* a dozen times?
    
    (I swear, man, this sort of thing gives me the creeps! It's as 
     if God took it away and put it back just to drive me nuts.)
    

    It is called the law of temporary invisibility.  Objects posess the
    capability of becoming temporarily invisible.  The phenomena occurs at
    time of great stress like when you are late and need to find your car
    keys which have conveniently hidden themselves in the middle of the
    kitchen table.  Wallets, badges, keys, money, small but important
    widgets all are capable of this.  Tools, while working on the car are
    also quite susceptible.  This is not the same as the missing sock 
    conundrum however.  No, that is a temporal event where the fabric
    of space and time become torn due to the localized gravity well created
    from the rotational movements in your dryer.  This renders the sock
    permanently lost in the space/time continuum.  
    
    Brian

    So my dryer is actually some form of quantum singularity?

    Wow.

    
    If I put my kats in the dryer, will the same thing happen?
    

    	Only one of the  pair.

    
    >>    ...found something you were looking for, in a
    >>    place you checked *at least* a dozen times?
    
    
    oh boy...do i!!!!  happened a few weeks ago with my wallet...checked
    EVERYWHERE...the last place i remember having it was when i was
    stuffing it under my seat before going into the gym (as i couldn't find
    my gym bag, which had my lock on it...which was in the same place the
    last time i looked for it...)...called all the stores i went
    to....nothing...called the gym....nothing....tore the car inside and
    out...the trunk too...nothing...tore the dining room area
    apart....nothing...went back out to the car....nada...came back in and
    went thru the living room and my room....nada...now i am going into a
    panic cuz i had just renew my license and would be stuck with a
    DUPLICATE for the next 5 years and couldn't remember all of the credit
    cards i was going to have to cancel...and in a half-hearted attempt, i
    went back out to the car...no luck...as i was getting out, my foot hit
    something and there the damn thing was...
    
    i don't know if i was more mad for losing it or for finding where i had
    looked 3 times...
    

    Yes Glenn, it is.  The dryer door is really the event horizon.  Once
    something enters, it is fair game.  The rotational vortex must become
    precisely aligned with the gravitational lines in order for the object,
    usually a sock, to cross over.  Very rare occurence but look at the
    number of socks washed each and every day and the number of folks that
    complain about missing one sock from the pair.  Rare , but not unheard
    of.
    
    Brian 

    Well then, I have something to do with the new variable phase inverter
    and plasma conduit I got (er, recieved) for Christmas.

    Driven 160 MPH on a deserted public highway late at night, just to
    see what it'll do?

    
    What, the highway?

    No, the deserted public.

    
    i'd rather be desserted...
    
    

    > i'd rather be desserted...
    
    I've heard tell of some very creative uses for whipped toppings... :-)
    
    -b

    ... totally chewed someone out over something only to find out they had
    nothing to do with what you were mad about?

    ... gotten a Christmas card from someone, complete with pictures of the
    kiddies, and you had _no_ idea who they were and how you knew them?

    ... visited Stonehenge and felt underwhelmed?

    ... got your coat stuck in a revolving door?

    ... eaten bugs and wild plants during survival training.

    <------- YES, not that I care to recall it!
    

    ..."lost" your car keys, only to find out that you are holding them?

    
    
    .."Lost" your glasses, only to find your wearing them.
    
    

    
    ...lost your glasses, and then couldn't find them because you needed
    your glasses to look for your glasses?
                         

    This would trouble me.

    
    It did.

    When? I've never needed glasses. Is there perhaps something I've
    overlooked?
    
    Glenn/Deirdre/Pamela/Franny/Ned/Dierdre/Anton/Sean/Alice/Jimi/Pauline/Rex/
    Nathan/Melanie/Ursula
    
    
    
    

    
    
    RE: .204
    
    
    Been there, done that.....
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    Anton wears glasses.  I've SEEN him.  Don't try to fool us.

    And just how many of you are there?

    
    OH NO.  You can't rub your multiplicity off on me.

    RE: 203
    
    In a panic at the beach because I had lost my sunglasses.  Asked my
    friend if she had seen them and she burst out laughing.  She then
    proceeded to smudge my lens to give me a visual clue as to where they
    may have been.  I have felt dumber, once which brings me to my "have
    you ever"...driven through the car wash with your window down?
    
    Brian

    
    
    	woken up behind the wheel of your car while doing 70 down the
    interstate and wondered "where the heck am I going?"...
    
    

 re .213


 I did that ~20 years ago..when I woke up I was heading right for a 
 chain link fence, which thankfully was able to avoid and get back
 on the road once I'd finished clipping off a few roadside markers..


 Taught me a lot about drinking and driving, that did..




Jim

    re: .213
    
    Been there done that...except I woke up heading into the median.  I did
    not snooze for the remaining 8.5 hours of my 10 hour trek.
    
    Good thing there were no bridges close by.  The nice little spin in the
    wet grass of the median was a long one, and the grass flying over the
    side of my car was not slowing me much.  8^)
    
    -steve

    ....lost a neat snarf because you note was too wordy?

	....Woken up behind your terminal at work wondering
what the heck you are doing here..............

    re:213
    
    Done the same thing, only when I woke up it was in the ambulance. 
    
    

    
    
     >woken up behind the wheel of your car while doing 70 down the
     >interstate and wondered "where the heck am I going?"...
    
    
    something similar...i woke up and saw the guardrail a few inches to my 
    left and just a few seconds ago i was in the far right lane of a 3
    lane highway...and no, i had not been drinking...route 495 is a
    very long and boring stretch of road, especially at nite after a rather
    long day at work...scared the you know what out of me...

    I have a sleep disorder and I found myself in situations simular to
    those listed here...always scared the heck outa me.
    

 Of course, there've been times when I was wide awake (I think), maybe
 thinking about something and suddenly couldn't remember how I got in
 the lane I was in..




 Jim

    ... done that? me too! An aluminum light pole stopped me. Cost me
    $375.00 back in '73.

    
    
    	Glad (?) to see I'm not alone... I woke up when my
    	truck sideswiped the guardrail.  Now when I'm too tired,
    	I pull over and close my eyes for 15 minutes or so.  I
    	*never* wanna do that again....
    

    ... spun out (ala 360 degrees) on route 9 in front of 2 lanes of
    speeding traffic coming down a hill, didn't hit a thing, managed
    to get your car under control, ended up going in the right
    direction, continued on like nothing ever happened, and didn't
    even $hit your pants?
    
    Well, I did. Almost... :-) :-)
    
    -b

 I did something similar on 495 in a snowstorm...I stopped shaking by
 the time I reached home some 30 mins later.




Jim

    
    no, but i did spin out (sorta...tho it was only about 200 degrees) on
    route 395, going up hill (bit of an incline), into the breakdown lane
    (which you couldn't see cuz of all the snow, and thankfully i was in
    the right-hand lane), during the morning rush...
    
    it;s no fun seeing a bazillion cars coming AT you....
    
    
    

| <<< Note 214.219 by GAVEL::JANDROW "brain cramp" >>>



| scared the you know what out of me...

	No, what?

    ....locked your keys in the car with the engine running, in a loading
    zone, at a ski area, on new years eve?  :-(

	My mother was coming home from work one day when she hit a small patch
of ice that was cleaverly hidden by some snow that had been falling. She
swent off the road up this small hill headed for a stone wall. She covered her
face and the car turned away from it back into the road (she was going up at an
angle) right towards a truck. Again her hands went up and the car straightened
out and she continued on. Before that trip she would drive in ANY type of 
weather. Since that trip it has to be a clear sunny day in the winter if she 
is going anywhere.


Glen

The car turned away from her face?

  >ice that was cleaverly hidden 

	you sure it wasn't haskelly hidden?

    Who has icy cleavage?

    
    Hmm...ever see the movie "Deadly Weapons"?  Now THAT was cleavage.

    Clearly, covering her face does wonders for her road safety.

 Maybe it was put there by an ice sculpter?

	She put her hands up to cover her face!!!!! She got lucky, like someone
likes her up there or sumpin.... :-)

    ...driven a motorcycle off a cliff into a lake?

    
    P'raps God was saying "I guess I'll be nice to Mrs.Silva today; after all, 
    I DID give her Glen..."
    
    8^)

>>Hmm...ever see the movie "Deadly Weapons"?  Now THAT was cleavage.


	That's how/where I want to die............%^)

    What you thinking of running for Senate Gene?
    
    -b

    All of this icey cleaver, brick wall, spin out stuff is frightening me.

    Glenn

    Which one?

| <<< Note 214.238 by POWDML::LAUER "Little Chamber of Ecstacy" >>>


| P'raps God was saying "I guess I'll be nice to Mrs.Silva today; after all, 
| I DID give her Glen..."

	So that would be TWICE He was good to her. Ok, that makes sense!

    >>What you thinking of running for Senate Gene?
    
    nope. i'd "say" the wrong thing one time to many and the dimmicrits
    would prolly try to off me.

	I'd say that makes you perfect for the job Gene.



	Look at the new speaker, he constantly spouts stuff
he has to appologize for later.

    
    <--------
    
     Example???
    

	re. .246

	Oh no you don't.	I will not get sucked into political
discussion, I will tell you right now I don't vote (they won't let me)
and don't have a clue as to who is who. I was merely taking a stab at
Gene who suggested he didn't have the skills to be politician.

	To make a feable attempt at answering your question however;

Isn't Newt Gingrich the new guy and isn't he the one who will make
rather strong statements which he later has to retract or at least
re-word ??

>Isn't Newt Gingrich the new guy and isn't he the one who will make
>rather strong statements which he later has to retract or at least
>re-word ??
    
    teeks. i think you have newt confused with our beloved president.

	I wouldn't give Clinton that much credit.

	Seriously, Isn't Newt the guy who makes terse statements
like " The President is an A...hole" and has to back peddle. Hothing
to do with if he is right or wrong.

    	re .249
    
    	No.

Why would anyone backpedal from such a statement?

	Because of the way he said it.

	Just not proper for a person in his position I guess.

    
    ...wanted something rather desperately and knew you could never have
       it?

    ... or had something and rather desperately didn't want it?

    yes :-(

    
    ditto 8^p.

    Thritto  8-p.

 quadritto

burrito

    No he left already

| <<< Note 214.250 by CSC32::J_OPPELT "Whatever happened to ADDATA?" >>>

| re .249

| No.

	Guess again Joe.... he called Hillary a bitch, and now won't address
it. His mother told all in an interview, and she LIKES him!


Glen

    	You're pathetic, Glen.  
    
    	You're so desperate for trash that you'll latch onto this
    	journalistic garbage as if it has any meaning or value.  I heard
    	on the radio at lunch that polls already show that Chung is
    	getting reamed by public opinion over this.  You're welcome
    	to stick to her bandwagon if you wish, I suppose.  It's right
    	up your alley anyway.

	Why thank you Joseph.... I'm glad you approve

    
    <----------
    
    You forgot to tell him "Bless you Joseph"... and that you'll pray for
    him...
    

	Gee, do I really need to announce it everytime? I just can't do it?
Hmmm.....

    
    taken off all your clothes, and jumped into a cactus?

    
    I've done both of those, but not consecutively or even concurrently.
    

    >taken off all your clothes, and jumped into a cactus?
    
    No, I'm afraid I haven't. It seems common sense intervened long
    beforehand.
    
    -b

    
    danced with wolverines

    <--- Yes, at the U of Mich.  Weird folk too.  

    ...kacked yersel.

    
    
    Dougz,
    
    xplain " kacked " without being Set Hidden.
    
    Keiff.

    Keiff,
    	 It would take a better man than I to be able to do that.

re .275

Yeah...   I thot it was just gaz, but, unfortunately...

    kissed your son goodnight, just to have him wipe it off so you'd have
    to do it again?

    
    Naah, I don't have any children.
    
    
    Well, none that I know of, anyway.  Ha!  Ha!
    
    

	mz. debra, I'm preggo and I believe it's yours...

    
    That's what I get for spending time in the LCoWMR.

    
    
    	:*)
    
    
    

    > taken off all your clothes, and jumped into a cactus?
    
    Hell, I never been drunk enough to do something that stupid.

    
    <--BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA{gasp}HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    
    
    

    er, you didn't look like a cactus to me.  I know....

    
    I wuz NEVER nekkid that weekend.
    
    I think.

    
    Anyway, it wasn't me you were trying to jump into, if you recall
    correctly.  There was, however, the fire, the lake, the tent...

    
    ridden in a hearse

  hidden on a nurse

    ridden on a nurse :-)

    
    cursed a nurse
    

    .294
    
    yes.  for the next 20 seconds after one gave me valium iv as i was
    being prepped for surgery under a general.  after that, the nurse could
    have cut my leg off with a bow saw and i wouldn't have cared.

 .294



 You bet..a rather clumsy nurse, a urinary catheter and my, er, equipment
 didn't get along well.




 Jim

    She shafted you?

 well, that's one way to put it

    There is only one way to put it isn't there?

 Precisely

    Well, she's probably a whiz at it by now....

	Now, now, gentlemen - mind your p's and q's

ME

    
    they can mind their p's and i'll mind the q's, thankyouverymuch... :>
    
    
    (and yes, deb, i know those apostraphes don't belong there...)
    
    

| <<< Note 214.290 by POBOX::BATTIS "Contract Studmuffin" >>>


| ridden in a hearse

	I dated TWO people who worked for a mortuary..... so while I have never
ridden in a hearse, I have.... oh never mind....

    This Tribbles me.
    

    
    << Note 214.290 by BIGQ::SILVA "Squirrels R Me"
    
    ! ridden in a hearse
    
    << I dated TWO people who worked for a mortuary.... so while I have
    never ridden in  a hearse. I have.... oh never mind
    
    Glen, I don't know, that may may very well qualify as riding in a
    hearse, if you know what I mean.
    
    Mark

    slidden in a purse?

| <<< Note 214.308 by POBOX::BATTIS "Contract Studmuffin" >>>


| Glen, I don't know, that may may very well qualify as riding in a
| hearse, if you know what I mean.

	Mark, just to keep things clear..... he was alive. :-)

    
    Glen, thats a relief to know, though I'm sure there are better places
    to do it than a hearse. :-)

| <<< Note 214.311 by POBOX::BATTIS "Contract Studmuffin" >>>


| Glen, thats a relief to know, though I'm sure there are better places
| to do it than a hearse. :-)


	If you do it over and over and over again in a hearse, does it become
rehearse?

{groan}

I once had a hearse follow me for miles and miles on a
mostly deserted highway.  The driver would change lanes
every time I did, and always stayed the same distance
behind me.  I wondered whether it was an omen or
an episode of Twilight Zone.

    
    danced with a rhinocerous

    dances with aardvarks

	I've danced with wolves...... 

    
    dances with leopards

    
    danced with Madonna

    
    danced with a one legged woman

	I've danced with Peg many times

    
    danced with a cactus

    Were you a cactus in a previous life or did you just drink lots of
    tequila?

    
    both

    I see your point.

    Not only that but he understands where you are coming from.  

    Thanks little buddy.

    
    tequila...anyone up for body shots?

    
    call the aussies!!!
    
    :> 
    

    Kamikazes!!!

	Body shots??? YOU BET!!!!  Great party favor them body shots r!

    call the posses

    Saul of Tarsus

    
    I could do kamikazes also.  I think it's time for another {you know}.

    
    drank a kamikaze while flying a plane

    drunk

    nope, are you?

Want some rye? 'Course ya do.

    
    Boilermakers!

    .337
    
    here's to us

Please remember:  Two beers = two drinks
		  Shot'n'beer = one drink

Do not ask for two beers.
A double shot of vodka is OK, though.

    
    I'd like a double shot of my baby's love to go with that boilermaker.

    I'd be afraid that a double shot of my baby's love would be
    12 guage.
    
    -b

    
    How do you pronounce that?

    gayj, is that better? :-)

    Probably the same a gauge.

    
    I dunno; I was thinking "gwaaaj" somewhat along the lines of
    "gwarrrgul".

    
    Well, Elmer hunted wabbits with a 12 qwaaaj.
    

re: .339
Who's like us?

    .348
    
    damn few!

And they're all dead.

    
    jumped into a vat of bananna pudding

    It depends, with or without the mixer going? 

    
    with real banana chucks...?

 What are banana chucks?  Are they like woodchucks



 How much banana could a banana chuck chuck if a banana chuck could chuck
 banana?

The banana chuck is the part of the banana that holds the banana bit.

    
    you guys are driving me bananas with all this banana talk. 

    We're a crazy bunch.

 But we have appeal

	At least we aren't the Brady Bunch

    
    Gorilla alert

    Alert gorilla

    Assert vanilla

    
    A pert chinchilla
    

 Been to Chowchilla?

	assault chihuahua
    
    

    
    bungee jumped in the buff

    
    roller skated in a buffalo herd

    roller bladed into buffalo turd.

    ...slept naked with Glen Silva?

                     ___   ~----._
            _______     ~~---.__  `-.
        --~~       ~~-----.__   `-.  \
        _,--------------._   ~---. \  `.
      '~  _,------------. ~~-     `.\  |
     _,--~      _____    `        _____|_
         _,---~~          -----         `-.            /##
      ,-~   __,---~~--.       `._____,',--.`.        ,'##/
    ,' _,--~  __,----.          `  () '' ()' :    _,-' `#'
     ,~   _,-'   ,' ,--          `---' \ `.__,)--'     ,'
       ,-'      -  (                                _,'
     .'   _-~ ,'    `--                          ,-'
    /  ,-'  ,'  __                        ___,--'    _______________
     ,'  ,'~ ,-~     /            ___.ooo88o  |    ,'               `.
    /  ,' ,-'    /               ' 8888888888,'   _|                 |
      /  /    /                 '  `888888888.`.  \      BENSON!!!!  |
     /  /  /      /            '    `888888888 |   |                 |
       '      /     /         '       `888888','   `._______________,'
         /                   '           ~~~,'
        /   /  /            '            ,-'
         /           /                 ,'         

    
    a true brown noser

    What's that, Sonic the Hedgehog?
    
    Chris

    
    I think its Hildegard.
    
    jeff

    
    My friend Matt bungee-jumped nekkid in Australia.  I've seen the video
    8^o.

    Exposing himself down under?
    
    
    {flap flap slap} {ouch}
    
    I wouldn't do it.

    Actually, from that position it would be up over.  Either way, just hop
    the cord doesn't get tangled in anything....

    hop?

    Yeah hop.  That's what happens when things get tangled in the cord.  I
    only lost an e this time.  Could've been serious though.  If it was
    hoppy and the pp got caught, well you get the picture I am sure.  

    
    ... wished you'd shut up when you had the chance.
    

    often

    quacked up

| <<< Note 214.366 by POBOX::BATTIS "Contract Studmuffin" >>>


| bungee jumped in the buff

	Ask John Covert. 

| <<< Note 214.369 by USAT05::BENSON "Eternal Weltanschauung" >>>

| ...slept naked with Glen Silva?

	I've done that!!! I've done that!!!!  It felt so natural too. :-)

| <<< Note 214.374 by POWDML::LAUER "Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces" >>>


| My friend Matt bungee-jumped nekkid in Australia.  I've seen the video 8^o.


	Judging by the smiley at the end, I would have to wonder what he used
as the cord.... :-)

    
    been suckered into an encounter, when you wish you hadn't been.

    
    ...would that be an encounter with a cactus, Mark luv?
        

    
    er no mz-debra, a blonde receptionist.

    
    I thought you liked her?

    
    I do, it was just not an enjoyable encounter, thats all.

	You didn't try and use Brians test to see if she was a real blonde, did
you???

    She beat him at pool I think.

    She's from the cue continuum.

    .385
    
    the ultimate of that was on chicago hope last eve.  one of the doctors
    meets a gorgeous chick, 20 mins later they're kissing, they eventually
    end up in the sack, and later he learns that she used to be his hockey
    teammate.  andy had become annie...

    >...end up in the sack, and later he learns that she used to be his
    > hockey teammate.  andy had become annie...
    
    Apparently, he misunderstood when she said something about "puck".
    
    -b

    nackshully, at the party where they met (again), they discussed how
    he'd played hockey with her brother...  she started getting serious
    about him and decided she'd better come clean, as it were.  really
    pissed him off, though.  "i'm a DOCTOR, dammit, how could i not know?"

    
    .391
    
    er Glenn and 19 others :-) No she didn't beat me at pool yet, I doubt
    we will be playing again in the near future.
    
    Mark

    You don't have a clean slate in other words....
    
    Chalk it up to experience.

    
    exactly

    
    
    Make sure you don't get racked....

    Smacked or 

    SNARFED

    
    made an incredibly difficult bank shot using reverse english the length
    of the table, then missed a chip shot.

    
    Re: .401:
    
    Oooooooooooo, I wanna shoot some stick with Mark!!   :^)
    

    
    ambushed an armadillo

    Regarding doctors and transgender operations...
    
    In Trinidad, CO, about 100 south of here, is a small hospital with a
    doctor that has made a great reputation transgendering people, mostly
    male to female of course.  A few months ago, I caught a TV interview
    where he claimed that one of his former patients was now married to a
    gynecologist that had no idea of his wife's history.
    
    -- Jim

    
    drunk the juice of a cactus

    Yes, yes I have.  Won't do it anymore though at least not in the form I
    had it.  Tequila and I aren't on speaking terms anymore.

    
    Oh, body shots.  Body shots of tequila.  I could do that.

    
    
    	squeeze my lemon ms. deb? it goes good with tequila....
    
    

    
    'til the juice runs down your leg.

    
    
    	'til I fall right outta bed.
    
    

                 a classic MzDebIsm.  You, m'dear, R 2 much!! :-)
    

    re: .411
    
    That's Led Zepplin and I believe the song is titled "The Lemon Song".
    
    Bob

    ... context is everything -- and MzDeb is the mistress of context.
                                 

    
    
    	...got too close to a brush fire and singed your eyebrows and hair?
    :)
    
    jim (who burned a bit of brush today...and a bit of hair)
    
    

>    That's Led Zepplin and I believe the song is titled "The Lemon Song".

It predates Led Zeppelin by 40 or 50 years.  It's an old blues lyric.

re: .416

Thanks.  I didn't know that.  But given the heavy blues influence of the first
few Led Zep albums, I'm not surprised at all.

Bob

    
    jogged with a cheetah

    
    A cheetah doesn't jog... it sprints....
    
     Musta been an old one...
    

| <<< Note 214.418 by POBOX::BATTIS "Contract Studmuffin" >>>


| jogged with a cheetah



	Wow... I can actually say yes to this. My ex had the nickname of
Cheetah & Chita. Cheetah for when he would run, and Chita for Chita Rivera.


Glen

    .419
    
    > A cheetah doesn't jog... it sprints....
    
    Oddly enough, cheetahs are like other creatures.  They expend the
    minumim amount of energy to do the job.  They definitely do jog if
    running isn't needed.

    
    <-------
    
     Technically, Nature Ranger ;) They don't "jog" but lope...
    
    

    .422
    
    Technically, Andy, they do both.  A lope is a 3-beated gait similar to
    a canter.  Cats do that.  They also trot.  "Jog" is a synonym for
    "trot" except when one is referring to the trots.

    
    thank you Herr Binder, I have been vindicated.

    
    RE: .423
    
    Okay.. okay!!!!! I know when I'm beaten!!! :) :)
    
    I still don't think Mark can keep up with a cheetah no matter what it's
    doing!!
    :)
    

    A 427 Cobra could beat a Cheetah in it's day.  

    
    well Brian, I'll pit my mongoose against your Cobra anyday.
    
    Mark

| <<< Note 214.427 by POBOX::BATTIS "Contract Studmuffin" >>>


| well Brian, I'll pit my mongoose against your Cobra anyday.


	HEY! There will be no killing of Brian's snake in this file!

    
    	And I'll pit my 426Hemi 'cuda against all of ya!
    
    
    ;*)

    I've had the trots like a cheetah, if that counts...

    
    
    .429  Do you really have one Jim, or are you dreamin????????  IF you've
    got one, I'll expect a ride when I get up there. :')
    
    
    Mike

    Is that a dual quad or six pack set up?  

    
    
    	I'm dreamin' gents I'm dreamin'! :) I would LOVE a hemi 'cuda, but
    that ain't in the budget....:)
    
    	..and I'd rather a dual quad than a 6pack. :)
    
    
    jim

    
    
    Yup, them thermo quads were wuite a carb way back when.  I loved to
    hear them secondaries kick in when you stomped on it.
    
    
    Mike (who had the Carter thermoquad on his 69 Roadrunner 383 may it
    rest in peace)
    

    
    jumped rope with an octupus.

    Wow, I'm getting a visual of this and it's, well frankly, it's
    disturbing.  

    
    hunted bear with a flamethrower

Is POBOX about to go postal?

    
    partied with a porcupine

    
    played pool with a great white shark

    
>>    played pool with a great white shark

	you mean like minnesota fats?

Di, are you implying that there are no great black pool sharks?
Where's Brandon?

    
    <---   er, yes

    
    
    Er.... seems like Mark's got this thing for beasts....
    

    Offered a sacrifice to the Baloney God?

    Um, no, but I've had a few people kneel to worship it...

    What on earth are you talking about?!?!?!?!?

 Even I got that one (I think).





 Jim

    
    re: b
    
    	hehehehehe...good one brian. :)
    
    

    
    tangoed with a triceratops

    
    waltzed with a wallabee

| <<< Note 214.446 by MPGS::MARKEY "The bottom end of Liquid Sanctuary" >>>


| Um, no, but I've had a few people kneel to worship it...


	Brian, mirror reflections don't count. :-)

    <----- This would take mind altering drugs to accomplish, I think.

| <<< Note 214.453 by POLAR::RICHARDSON "Baloney Convalescence" >>>

| <----- This would take mind altering drugs to accomplish, I think.



	Or a funhouse mirror....

    
    rumbaed with a ram

    
    lunched with a llama

    
    swung with a sloth

    
    
    "BATTIS"ed with a bat??

    
    chatted with a chimpanzee

    
    golfed with a giraffe

	I thought you were a man.... you should be hunting them dar creatures!

    
    harpooned a hippotamous

    tickled trout

yes..... just last night

    Angel Drawers, this troubles me.

    
    ...lloved a llama?
    

	Glenn, why does it trouble you?

    .... pinched a pincer?

    pounced a pouncer
    bounced a bouncer
    punched a puncher
    poacjed a poacher

    Well Angel Drawers, what kind of trout were you tickling?

    
    launched a lepeord

| Well Angel Drawers, what kind of trout were you tickling?

	A rainbow of course!!!!!  Or was that Steve Trout the former Cub's
pitcher.... :-)

    
    After watching a special last night on cheetah's, they do indeed jog!!
    The show never showed them running at full throttle, plus they are now
    endangered. Less than 10,000 left, 1/4 to a 1/3rd live in India.
    
    Mark

    
    er Jim, the apostrophe is correct, more than one cheetah is plural,
    hence the apostrophe..

   
   Stick with hoop's.
   
   								-mr. bill

    
    Mark, I'm appalled 8^(.

    >more than one cheetah is plural, hence the apostrophe..
    
     Then how do you indicate the possessive?

 re .476


 With all due respect, sir, you are mistaken.




 Jim

re: .479

>     Then how do you indicate the possessive?

MINE! MINE! MINE!

    <----- Anudder Bwahahahaah!

    
    ok, ok I was wrong (head hung in shame). mr bill is correct, I will
    stick to hoops.
    
    Mark
    
    cheetahs 

    We need more BATTIS'S in the world who will admit to misteak's.

 your right!

    
    
    
    .484
    
    
    BITE YOUR TONGUE!!!!!!!
    
    
    

    Yes 'em

    
    No!  No!  Let me ;^)!
    

    Aaaaalllllrightythen!
    
    8-o

    HYE - Fallen off a cliff, bounced off a large jagged rock, landed
    in the ocean, got washed up by the tide onto a busy road, run over
    by a bus and stood up and found the price tag still on your pants ?
    
    Most annoying.

I hate when that happens!

ME

	Didn't that happen to Homer J. Simpson????

    
    cheetahs have vacation homes in India?
    

    <--- Never did it.

    
    had a tough time saying, I'm sorry.

    
    Don' worry Mark, I'm sure Raq will accept your apologies! :-) :-)
    
    -b

    After her boots are licked appropriately.

    Would that be the whole boot that needs to be licked?  If so, I see a
    rash of misbehaving coming on.  

    
    -b good one :-) I was thinking of someone to whom I haven't spoken to
    in two months, and now I can't even remember what it was that ticked
    me off in the first place. I guess I should say it before, she beats
    me to the punch.
    

    lady's choice

    
    worked up a sweat at an orgy?
    
    If so...
    
    
    
    
    What was it like? :-) :-)
    
    -b

> now I can't even remember what it was that ticked me off in the first place.

Did she pick on yer pool cue?

	Brian Markey, do you really want me to give you an answer to your
question????? 





	I gotta have one first....

    
    Actually, I went to an orgy once...
    
    
    
    but I didn't like the puking part all that much... :-) :-) :-)
    
    -b

re: .497

>    After her boots are licked appropriately.

Speaking of boots, have you ever seen Nancy Sinatra nekid? She of made
for walking fame.

Supposedly she's showing all her talent in Playboy nexted Month.

TTom

I hope those talents are better than her vocal talents.

    
    you'll be able to find out in next month's, um, "spread"...
    
    
    

    
    
    HAHAHAHA!  Raq!  You're a laugh a minute today! :*)
    Someone must have given you quite a boost! 
    
    
    Glad to see it!
    
    :*)
    terrie
    

| <<< Note 214.508 by NETCAD::WOODFORD "Spring'sSprung.SmurfetteSurfacesSoon." >>>


| Someone must have given you quite a boost!

	I gave her some kind of curse..... sniff....

Nancy Sinatra must be what, now? Pushing 55?

    RE: "pushing 55"
    
    Oh dear. This Playboy thing could be scary, couldn't it?
    
    -b

She's probably about the same age as Raquel Welch and Jane Fonda.

    
    
    i was just gonna say that...
    
    
    and i don't know too many guys that would complain about gazing at 
    mz. welch being in the buff...ya nevah know, she might surprize you...
    
    

	raq... i might complain..... 

    
    
    yeahbut, no offense, but i don't you'd be one to by a playboy magazine
    in the first place... :> ;>
    
    

and i wouldn't bUy one either! :-)

    
    typo....i assure you....but thank you for point it out... ;> ;> ;>
    
    

yvw

    
    hunted wild boar in Borneo

    
    eaten cinnamon buns with a cinnamon bear

    
    waxed a walrus

    
    played billiards with a babboon

    
    danced the watusi with a water buffalo

    Is there something wrong with the water in Lake Michigan?

 you suppose that water broke too?

    8^)

    Pick either Erie or Ontario to be closer geographically speaking. 
    
    NNTTM
    

    closer to Chicago?

    No, closer to buffalo.

    Battis is in Chicago is he not?

    
    er, Glenn, I believe he is. Me thinks Brian was referring to my water
    buffalo note. HTH

    Great Lakes! I'd better pay attention from Huron in.....

    
    
    	That's kinda Erie to think about....

 Far superior to other thoughts, however.

    
    Not what you Ottawant to think about, however...
    
      bb

    8^)

    
    you are all to clever for me to keep up with. I bow in your general
    direction.

That could free up some of your time to Sing Along with Michigan.

 I was wondering if you were going to state your opinion, Jack

    
    ransacked with a raccoon

    
    drank wine coolers with a dingo

    
    raced a rattlesnake

    Arm wrestled a cactus.

    
    Martin, while I've never arm wrestled a cactus, I have jumped into
    a few.
    
    Mark

    
    seranaded a singer

    
    lassoed a bull snake

<---yes

    Re .544 - OUCH!!! :^O

    High fived a horse

    
    high fived an octopus

    spanked a bottle of ketchup?

    
    Not any more, since I learned how to make all the ketchup come down to
    the neck of the bottle by holding the bottom in your hand and swinging
    your arm around like a windmill.
    
    This is frowned upon in most restaurants, tho.

I've never been able to figure which is the more appropriate restaurant
behavior - the centrifugal catsup trick, or stacking all manner of
table periphernalia (salt and pepper shakers, catsup bottle, sugar
bowl, drinking glasses, silverware, red pepper shaker, etc.) like a
jackstraw tower.

    
    Oh {heh} I do that stacking thing {blush} 8^).

    
    gotten whiplash from a bull whip

    
    
    jack...
    
    i remember watching the hollywood squares a few years ago and there was
    a question about the ketchup...according to miss manners, you should
    NOT use your knife to get the ketchup out, nor should you shake the
    bottle around...you are supposed to hold the bottle at an angle over
    the target and wait...and wait...and wait...til the ketchup comes
    out...
    
    
    

    Miss manners probably had a hard time finding a date.

That's why she's not Mrs. Manners.

    
    
    %^>
    
    
    

>     This is frowned upon in most restaurants, tho.

Particularly if the cap isn't on the bottle...

    Played chicken with Crocs!

    Call 1-800-GATOR-AID

    Can't use the phone.....
    
    You see I lost ! :*)

    halfmadman :*) I lost !!!!! :*)

    spanked by Lynne?
    
    Chip

    
    played poker with a python

    
    played craps with a crocodile