| Title: | before adding new topic |
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| Moderator: | ABACUS::GHATCH |
| Created: | Mon Apr 23 1990 |
| Last Modified: | Thu Jun 05 1997 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 651 |
| Total number of notes: | 9490 |
hi
Im looking for advice on behalf of my sister - she doesnt know Im
asking but Im rahter concerend/worried about her mental state of health
on the run up to her wedding.
She is getting Married in 14 weeks - but just recently seems to be
stressed all the time. She says its not related to the wedding and
that all her planning and arrangements are going fine.
But she has been arguing with her friends a lot recently, some of whom
are in the same position as herself, and she's had problems to cope
with within her family to be - ie in the way of a new girlfriend to her
b.i.l - she is teary all the time, and the final straw came today when
I called her work to see how she was doing only to find that she'd
walked out after an arguement with another lassie.
I know she's a fiery lassie anyway - but this type os consistent
behaviour is not normal for Susan. Her fiancee is also concerned as
when he asks if she wants to talk about anything, she just smiles at
him and says everything is fine - nothing to worry about. She's a very
independant person and Im wondering if this has anything to do with it
- ie - does she feel she has to cope with everything on her own? -
Michael, her fiance - is really good with her - they ahve a fantastic
relationship - but I feel that she needs support from a few close
people - but I dont know how to go about in giving her that support
without making her feel inadequate or useless in someway...
I love my sister very much and just want whats best for her - as does
Michael and I want her wedding day to be special - as Im sure it will
be, but I cant watch her putting herself through this torture
everyday...
Please, please, can someone shed some light on this situation.
for the record - I cant understand what shes going through, because Ive
never been married.
Many thanks
Debbie
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 647.1 | Stress relief... | STAR::DIPIRRO | Fri Mar 21 1997 10:33 | 20 | |
A certain amount of stress is perfectly normal, especially as the
time draws near. There's stress in getting the wedding arrangements
perfect and all the logistics settled. There's stress in knowing you're
about to make this huge commitment to someone, and your mind races
around wildly, wondering if you're doing the right thing.
She sounds like the type who insists on doing everything herself to
make sure it's right. If you and/or others could offload some of the
wedding arrangements stuff that she's currently doing, convincing her
that you'll do it right - just the way she wants it, then maybe she
could relax a little. It also sounds like your sister doesn't know how
to deal with stress very well and perhaps has never had to deal with
this kind of stress before. There are a lot of things that can be done
to relieve stress. She should be encouraged to talk about the things
that have her the most worried and to pursue some of these stress
relievers. Exercise is a good one, even if it's getting up every
morning for a brisk, long walk. These kinds of things can help. She'll
need to learn how to talk to her future husband about these things
though. She can't go through life saying that nothing's wrong and
smiling. Well, she can, but she'll be doing it from the nuthouse
eventually!
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