Conference napalm::heavy_metal

    That was a quick turnaround....good luck!!
    
    Bob

    Great name too !  Where do you come up with all of these ? Got any
    spares ?   8^)
    
    Scare' (playing with the Corn Bred band this weekend ... 8^)

    
    I dunno, I just think of names as I drive and they come to me 8^). I'll
    send you a list of some unused ones.
    
    Obvioously, still in the 'personnel' hunting stages, but I have a
    rhythm guitarist, a drummer and a possible vocalist. Looking for a bass
    player and a keyboard player.
    
    Music will be pretty much the same as Stiff Kitty - bit heavier 
    maybe. Material ain't a problem coz I have a backlog of about 20 songs 
    in total.
    
    Let you know when I have more to say,
    -Tony

    
    Now deciding between three bass players and there is a posibility of
    Alex coming back to the band (vocals).
    
    We've now got 24 songs to our name.
    
    Watch this space.

    Hire them all, you can do whole sets of "Big Bottom" by Spinal Tap.
    
    gh

    
    sigh...another bass player auditioning tonight. More info if he's any
    good.

    Still here, still audtioning etc...
    
    -Tony (if anyone cares)

    Tell us more! Any interesting stories about flakes that have come over
    to audition?
    
      Friz
    

    Nope. Can`t say i care.
    
    ho!ho! etc.
    

    
    Friz, nothing much really mate, they're just pretty crap.
    
    We had a bass player come over and he said to me "I'm good, play me the 
    most technical riff you have". So I played a reasonably quick pentatonic 
    thing with some string skipping (it was a riff, as opposed to a solo lick, 
    and wasn't really fast, just a quick double time thing on the EADG
    strings) and he didn't get passed the first bar of it!
    
    Needless to say, we didn't bother to continue the audition. Anyone with
    an attitude but without the goods has gotta be a loser.
    
    -Tony

    We've seen plenty of those types....I know what you're going though.
    
     Friz
    

    re: Tony
    
    Really!  An attitude like that on someone with incredible chops is
    difficult enough to deal with, on someone without the chops...history!
    
    gh

    re: Tart
    
    You know the old sayings...
    
    	"A word to the wise is superfluous"
    
    	"A man who proclaims he's wise is neither"
    
    
    People with REAL chops don't say so, AND they don't have such
    attitudes.  Glad you told him to bugger off!
    

    
    Got a bass player from Cardiff and two singers coming down beginning of 
    next week. The bass player sounds promising (I've said that a million
    times). He's heard some of our new stuff, we know what his abaility is,
    he looks good, has pro gear) its a case of wether we get along well
    enough to warrant him relocating from Cardiff to Berkshire.
    
    Pinkies crossed
    -Tony

    How far away is Cardiff?
    
    gh

    
    Its not in England, its the Capitol of Wales and is a few hours drive.
    Not too far in comparason to your huge country, but in local terms its
    enough to be awkward ;^)

    I find it pretty easy to be awkward even without a long drive...
    
    gh

    
    Well, we've done more advertising and we have 5 vocalists and 7 bass
    players to audition.
    
    Sod's law says that ONE of them has to work out.

    Colorado law says "Not ONE of them with be worth a sh*t!"
    
        Friz
    

Agreed - Friz-bob is correct.  Colorado is lacking for musicians.
:(

    And the rare "good ones" are extinct!
    
        friz
    

Moreover, if they have chops, then they are pricks.  If the are cool,
they don't have chops, or they have figgin' crewcuts or something.
Sheeesh.

If they have chops, are cool, have hair, then they probably play thru a 
friggin' Booger(tm) or something equally as lame.

If they are cool, have chops, have hair, have gear etc...  Then they
probably live in LA.
:)

jc

    Is that why I play with @ssholes? No wonder?
    
             Friz
    

    Is it just me, or does .22 seem to be fixated on "hair"?
    
    gh

RE: Greg

Yep:

No hair - No play.

    
    but if they have chops, hair, nice equipment and live in la, they come
    with 'tude.  :')
    

'Tude is easy to deal with.  You gotta have a 'tude to play out.
:)

    But you  must get by the tude to songwrite or you'll never play out.
     
     Oh yeah...You do covers...8)
    
         Friz
    

Harumph.  I can write too.  :)
jc

    
    Looks like we gotta change the band name. A band in England Called 
    'Mister Meana' have just been signed.
    
    Ah well, never mind.

    No offense or anything, Tone, but I think it's just as well.  I never
    liked that name anyway!
    
    gh

    
    
    i would really like to know how bands can come up with really obscure
    names like this only to find that some other band has come up with the
    same obscure name!!!  i swear, you could call your band 'asdf;lkjjh'
    only to find there is another band called 'asdf:lkjjh'.
    

    Yeah, I hear ya, Rob!  Seems the strangest thing!!!
    
    gh

    I agree with Greg, I don't really like the name either.
    
    |KS|
    

    RE: Rob
    
    
    It's a small world after all...

    I didn't mind the name,I thought it was a lot better than Stiff Kitty!
    
    
    
                                                Staynz

    
    We like(d) the name and thats all that matters.
    
    8^)

    Unlike Ian, I liked Stiff Kitty!  But I think that one's also been
    used, right?
    
    gh

    I liked Stiff Kitty too!
    
    Instead of Kid Mr. Meaner, I think Mr. Kid Meaner would have sounded
    better.
    
    |KS|
    

    
    	hey... how bout Mean Kitty?  Or Stiff Kid? (8
    
    	tigg~~~

    How bout Big Nancy Blouse!
    ;')

    
    
    
    HEY! I don't know what the guy looks like, but nancy blouse I think
    not!

    >HEY! I don't know what the guy looks like, but nancy blouse I think not!
    
    
    How bout Nancy Cross then?

    
    Thank you, thank you, and whatsmore, I thank you 8^)

    I liked both of the names....
    
      Friz
    

    Thank you, now convince the rest of the plonkers 8^)

>.45    -< Watch out for coffee in the wrong tube! >-
    
>.46    Thank you, now convince the rest of the plonkers 8^)
    
    We already knew that, Tony.  It seemed it was you that was lacking that
    particular bit of information...
    
    ;^)

    8^)
    
    We now have a bass player. He's Matt Cohen from Cardiff, Wales. He's
    22, six foot tall, blonde hair down to his ass, killer chops, killer
    gear (Ibanez bass) and most important, great attitude.
    
    -Tony

    We auditioned some vocalists on Saturday and it was hilarious.
    
    The first guy, a 5 foot fat American guy (about 50 years old) with shot 
    orange hair and beard to match.
    
    Stood there with the microphone singing 'What I say' in a voice pretty
    well identical to The Bee Gee's. then started doing a comedy routine
    with the microphone (The train on platform 5 will be arriving in ten
    minutes etc..). We asked him if our style of music was really what he
    wanted to do and he said yes, then proceeded to sing a ballad,
    acapello, in the most awful voice I've ever heard. He was close to
    tears when we said he wasn't what we were looking for.
    
    The next guy was covered from head to toe in tattoo's and started
    singing like a Napalm Death reject. He then started running round the
    studio doing a arobic exercise doing David Lee Roth high kicks. He then
    started to tell us how influenced by David Lee Roth he was, even though
    he sang like Napalm Death on Acid. He didn't get it.
    
    Another guy turned up with his buddy and an acoustic guitar and started 
    singing something like 'Two little boys' whilst the other guy stook
    there like Paul MaCartney playing guitar.
    
    
    So, the search continues.

    
    ...so, are you trying to tell us that you sound better than Maurice
    Gibb?
    

    
    
    Yup, if you hold my plums tight enough I can sing VERY high.

    ahahhahahahahaha!I would love to be at auditions for band members.The
    cringe factor must be intense!.............and it would be a good laugh
    too..!
    
                                                 Staynz

    IAN: When auditioning members the air is so thick you couldn't cut it
    with your "German tank". 8)
    
       Friz
    

    Hay FrizFraz,
    
    Can I audition for Paris Burning??

    Sure.....Both guitar spots are open.
    
             Friz
    

                                -< Can you songwrite? >-
    
    Does the Pope <explative> in the woods?

    Come on down then.  What are you waiting for???????????????????
    
       Bring a singer and an open mind.
    
            Friz
    

    >   Bring a singer and an open mind.
    
    I can bring the Sister_t, but the "open mind" comment becomes very
    arguable!!  8^)  The "Terror" fackin wails, but being in a band with
    her is like being in a band with Hitler.
    
    "Friz, play with your hair once more and I'll sock you!  PAY ATTENTION!
    Now, once more through the B section ... the timing was off!!!  Watch
    those dynamics!  Ready -- 1, 2, 3..."

    HA!HA!HA!HA! Sounds like a singer that al least has a clue and that's
    more than were ever had.  You guys don't have brother/sister fights do
    you?  
    
     Timing off? never. 8)  I never play ith my hair so she wouldn't have
    to worry about that...
    
       Friz
    

    >You guys don't have brother/sister fights do you?  
    
    No, because:
    
    1) We, for the most part, think EXACTLY alike!  (I know, scary thought!)
    
    2) When we don't agree, I'm bigger than she is (and she hates to be hit)
    
    
    ;')

    Hey,Tony
           you want to borrow my sister for your band?She can't sing,she
    can't play any instrument but if you buy a cage she'll dance in it.
    Put the cage right next to the stage,no-one will notice if you make
    a bum note!!!
    
                                                 Staynz

    
    Well,
    
    Our bass played has moved to... Colorado USA !!!!!
    
    B!@#$%d !!!!
    
    So, we now have 35 tunes, a drummer and me. We are back to square
    frigging one. If anything else happens, or if I decide to give up
    guitar and become a condom salesman, I'll let you know.
    
    -Tony (I'm sure Yngwie didn't have it this damn hard)

 >   Our bass played has moved to... Colorado USA !!!!!
 >   
 >   B!@#$%d !!!!
    
    Trust me he's probably way more upset to be here than you are that he's
    here!!! :)
              Rat

    
    8^)

    Comparing yerself to Yngwie,eh?
    

    Nope, I wish I had his chops, but with the imagination to use them.

    
    	condom salesman huh?  Pray tell why?

    Free samples, natch.

Not to mention quality engineerings field test plans...

:-)

    re: .68
    
    Free sample *natch?
    

    
    I want to then be promoted to "tester".

    
    Well, the ball is rolling again, albeit at a slow pace. We've just had
    adverts out in Kerrang, NME and Melody Maker to recruit a new bass
    player and the responce has been good so far. Start an auditioning
    schedule next week so I daresay I'll have some amusing stories to tell
    then.
    
    More info, if anyone is even slightly interested, when I have it.
    
    -tony

    
    Well we've had a bass player for a few weeks now and he seems to be
    working out. Working with him to get him to grips with the backlog of
    material which will take some time and pretty soon we'll be out looking
    to replace Alex (vocalist). Watch this space.
    
    You never know, at this rate I might even get to play some more gigs
    before I snuff it.
    
    -Tony

    What did you decide to do about singing yourself, Tony?
    
    Greg

    
    Well its still undecided, we want to try and get a *real* singer in
    first and if that fails then we go down the pan with me singing and
    another guitarist instead 8)

    If you're looking for a singer then I'm your man.Plenty of hours
    training(in the shower)and a huge range(oo er)or 9 octaves from Paul
    Robeson "ol' man river" deepness to the "nuts in a vice"voice of King 
    Diamond.
    
                                                  staynz   8^0

    
    You should stick to beating the bishop in the shower mate 8^)
    
    Thanks for the offer but I think the distance might proove to be
    somewhat of a bind 8^)
    
    -tony

    
    ..yeah, but he'd turn up more punctually than your ex bassist....
    
    Flip

    
    You've obviously met him 8)
    
    -tony

    
    	You mean he always comes on time?
    
    							GTI

    
    No....10 minutes before anyone else.
    

    ...re: flip.....i wish i'd said that.......i knew i liked you for a
    reason...............................;')....................../k

    hey Tony,I always turn up for appointments(when I remember)and what I
    do in the shower is my business..........I'll wash it as quick as I
    like 8)
    
    
                                               staynz

    
    Perve !